In the end, we never settled on any single dollar amount. I wanted to settle on half a million, and that cheapskate wanted me down to ten thousand a month. What an asshole! I was risking my life here! Even telling him that that wasn't even my salary in Jujutsu Tech wasn't enough to get him to reconsider, seeing as he had no intentions of putting me in any missions until I had cleared a 'training program' of his.

Asshole.

They gave me a room in the Hall of Justice to sleep in. I spotted no less than three cameras in the main bedroom, but nothing in the bathroom thankfully, except for motion sensors. They were hidden well, of course, but nothing went past my eyes.

I didn't sleep.

No need to. I had Reverse Cursed Technique down pat now. I would never need to sleep again in my life if I didn't want to.

So I sat down and considered my gains. Cursed Technique Reversal: Red. And Hollow Technique: Purple. I had done it. I had reached the apex of Cursed Technique with my Six Eyes and Limitless.

No.

Not yet. I needed Domain Expansion too. I didn't have that yet. And my Limitless was still rudimentary. It couldn't auto-tune properly, even though I knew it was possible. It was just… incredibly difficult to pull off. I needed to train very hard to get that sorted away. That and spatial transfer. Flying through the air like a superhero was embarrassing. My skin crawled at the memory of seeing Superman do it.

Teleportation, now that had style.

My Limitless could reach everywhere my Six Eyes could see. And my Six Eyes could see far and wide now that I could pump it with positive energy.

But it needed to be further and wider. To do that, I had to not only push the energy usage of my Six Eyes further up, but I also needed to increase the quality of the Six Eyes by making the usage more efficient. Thankfully, Six Eyes itself could accomplish that due to the immaculate micro-control over cursed energy that the trait afforded to me.

I closed my eyes and sat cross-legged on the bed, revving up my regeneration only on my brain to get my techniques to the peak of their performance. And then I started practicing.

The hours went by as I warped through the bedroom. Nothing bothered me until finally, I received a knock on my door. I got up from the bed, stretching my stiff limbs and opened the door to find Batman holding a bag full of a change of clothes. "Wow, you did my shopping. Thank you, Alfred."

I wondered if it was possible to get a reaction out of him. Or whether I would want to. But what could he do?

…A lot, now that he knew what my powers were. Interesting, that. Maybe I should take him more seriously? It was just that it was very hard to. He looked like a cosplayer.

I took the bag. "Shower and get changed," he said, "Then I will explain to you your situation."

"Yes, yes," I said, closing the door and throwing the bag of clothes on the bed.

After a brief forty-five minutes of showering, changing and tending to my body's cosmetic needs, I rejoined Batman as we headed out of the Hall of Justice. I now wore a pair of black slacks, a white shirt and a black tie. I looked like a salaryman without a blazer. "I wish you'd gotten me sunglasses," I said. My eyes were just… so annoying. Everything felt tingly. Not outright painful. Just irritating.

"Would you have preferred a watch to go with it?" Batman asked.

"Sorry, sorry," I waved my hand in front of my face, "I'll grab some myself once you've given me a credit card. Whew, someone is prickly this morning."

"Personality wise, you've yet to make a decent case of yourself," Batman said.

"Prejudice in a hero is unbecoming," I shook my head, "I expected better from the Dark Knight. The Caped Crusader. The World's Greatest Detective."

"My point precisely," Batman said as we stopped in front of a big glass tube with a door. I blinked at it.

"Is this a pneumatic tube that will shoot me through a tunnel?" I asked him in shock. I couldn't imagine a more embarrassing way to transport oneself.

Batman entered the tube, "Come in," he said.

I did, taking a step inside. It was a little cramped, but not by so much. "Batman, 02, to Mount Justice. Designate Satoru Gojo as B-07."

Oh no. I couldn't handle this.

Then the world flashed into light, and suddenly, my Six Eyes showed me everything in the universe at once, enough to feel like God had just trampled on my fucking brain. When the world returned to normal, I stumbled out of the tube retching.

Oh God. I blinked rapidly as my Eyes told me I was somewhere else entirely, a giant cave with a platform that shone with white light, and a big funnel thing on the ceiling. When I looked past the exterior, I just saw technology more detailed and methodical than I had ever seen before—incredibly small components, and so much power surging forth. Even behind me, looking at the teleportation tube, I saw wonders I couldn't even begin to understand. None of my background in higher mathematics could explain it. I couldn't think or make any sense of what I was seeing. Awful, awful, awful.

But!

It had given me ideas.

Whatever this tube was, it clearly had some control over space.

Perfect.

Next time I'd ride it, I would be ready, and then I would hopefully never need to ride it again.

"Apologies, Gojo-kun," Batman said. "I assume your powers interacted poorly with the Zeta Tube just now."

"No, it was just something in my food yesterday," I snarked at him. Speaking of food, I was starving! They hadn't even fed me yet.

"Gojo-kun," Batman said, gesturing in front of me, "Meet the Team." He said in English.

I followed where he pointed and saw three people. The same black guy I saw yesterday, only… wait, did he have gills? Next to him stood a guy that looked like he could have been Superman's son or younger brother. And next to him stood a green-skinned woman. A Martian, probably a Kryptonian, and… a fish person.

I addressed the fish guy first, "I remember you!" I said in English as well. "Sorry about the death threats, I was… under a lot of stress."

The fish guy looked at me with a frown, then at Batman, "What does this mean? Is he joining the team? After he almost killed a man last night?"

"He won't be going on missions until we've made sure he's in line with the ethics of the Justice League," Batman said, "But his case is rather unique. I felt it would be helpful to surround him with good influences."

I looked at the Martian girl and saw that she… was different. Different from the Manhunter Martian for sure. On the inside, they barely even looked like they were the same species, actually.

The Martian girl caught me looking, and then… frowned. I raised an eyebrow, and she looked confused. Then I saw the questing tendrils of her telepathic brainwaves try to intrude on my Infinity. I let one through just for fun and then thought 'Nope'. Then I closed the connection and stuck my tongue at her.

She blinked at me, nonplussed by my actions.

"My name is Satoru Gojo," I said with a grin, "You can call me Sa-chan if you'd like, or Gojo. Either is fine. What are your names?"

The fish guy folded his arms at me, "Aqualad."

I tried not to giggle.

"Pleasure, Aqualad," I said with a smile.

"My name is M'gann M'orzz, but my Earth name is Megan," she said. "Are you blocking out my telepathy, Sa-chan?"

My eyes widened as she used the pet-name. I hadn't been serious, but then again, she was the ultimate foreigner, someone from an entirely different planet and universe no-less. "Yes," I said, "I hope that's not a problem."

The Martian girl looked conflicted, trying to find her words, when the Superman boy introduced himself, "Superboy."

"Hnrk," I slapped a hand over my mouth, "Pleasure, Superboy."

"Something funny?" Superboy asked me.

"Nothing at all," I said, standing straight and schooling my expression. "Nothing about your name is funny."

It sounded like a pet name. Or something you'd call an exceptionally well-behaved elementary schooler. 'Wow, what a super boy!'

This was why I couldn't have my mind read all willy-nilly. I'd be run out of every town by an angry mob if everyone knew what went on in my mind at all times.

"Gojo-kun," Batman said tersely, "Behave. Remember that your salary will hinge on good behavior."

Ah! That was right! I bowed deeply at Superboy, "Apologies, apologies. Please, we, uh, how you say? We got off on the wrong foot. I'm a very big fan of Superman."

That intensified his glare. Huh? What the heck was I supposed to say?

"Gojo is a dimensional refugee," Batman said, "He has no place in this world, and so I've elected to keep him here for observation. We trust that he isn't a security threat—we've already vetted him telepathically. Consider this your first mission."

"Babysitting duty?" Superboy growled.

"No, no, no," I said, waving my hands, "I'm very low-maintenance. No babysitting necessary."

Gosh. These kids hated me already.

Aqualad sighed, "We accept this responsibility."

"Good," Batman said before turning around to leave.

"Just like that?" Superboy asked Batman as he walked away. Batman didn't deign that with a response, and instead disappeared through the Zeta tube as it mechanically announced his name and designation.

Once he was gone, I turned to the three teenagers with a smile, "So… about yesterday."

Aqualad looked me up and down. "You've… healed well. That's good."

"Were you injured?" Megan asked me.

"Yeah," I said with a slight roll of my eyes, "Not important. Anyway, what do you do for fun around here?" Superboy scoffed and turned to leave. Wow. "Why does he dislike me? It's not like I threatened his life."

"He has super-hearing," Aqualad reminded me. Right. I snorted. That was crazy. Everything was crazy! Gosh!

"So you guys have your own Justice League," I said, looking around the mountainous cave. "Nice."

"I was wondering," Megan said, "Why aren't you fine with telepathy?"

I chuckled, "Do you have a saying in Mars that goes 'that is none of your business'?"

"Well, kind of," Megan said with a shrug, "Why?"

I blinked at her and grinned incredulously, "Precisely that. My thoughts are none of your business, Megan. Surely that should not upset you."

"It doesn't," she said, "It just feels strange."

Aqualad looked at her, "Generally, on Earth, people don't like having their thoughts inspected by others. Our minds are a private sanctuary."

"Oh," she said. "That feels lonely."

"Yeah," I said, "But that's just how it is. Anyway," I clapped my hands together, "Why don't you give me a tour or something?"

Aqualad led the way, his movements as steady and composed as ever, even with me practically bouncing at every turn. Megan floated beside us—telepathy and flight, she was such an alien—, her expression amused as I marveled at each new corner of their hideout.

"So this is where you guys operate from?" I asked, running my hand along the jagged mountainous wall wall. "I expected something… I don't know… less cozy, more… secret lair-y." Ignoring the high tech stuff, this place looked more fantasy than sci-fi. Like we were in the lair of a space dragon.

Aqualad's lips curved into a small smile. "It was designed for functionality, yes, but also to be a place where the Team could live and work comfortably together." He stopped right as we were about to exit the light floor on the first room, motioning around us. "This is the main Mission Room."

I blinked, taking in the Zeta Tube platform and the glimmering control center ahead of it. A soft, mechanical hum filled the room, punctuated by the occasional glow from the Zeta Tube. The whole thing looked like something from a sci-fi movie. But when Aqualad said, "Computer, display current mission logs," and the shimmering blue light morphed into a holographic display, I couldn't help myself.

"No way! That's not just any screen, is it?" I grinned, stepping closer to the hard light display. My hand hovered just above it, the surface looking both solid and untouchable. I tapped it lightly, and to my surprise, it was as real and firm as any surface.

"Hard light," Megan explained, floating forward. "The computer can project it into any shape or interface we need."

I whistled, thoroughly impressed. "Now that's useful. Back home, hard light tech was more of a sci-fi movie or anime thing. But you guys have it just lying around?" I gestured around the room with wide eyes.

Megan laughed. "Yeah, but we're not that casual about it. The Mission Room is where we get our assignments and check on any reports that come in. And, you know, work as a team and all. When we get work."

I nodded. "Noted. So… how far can I push this 'Team' thing? Can we have a virtual karaoke night? A pizza party?"

Aqualad's eyebrow quirked. "Our resources are primarily for missions, Gojo."

I shrugged, feigning disappointment. "Too bad. Maybe you guys can give that a round of discussion on the next company meeting."

"On that note," Aqualad continued, leading us down a corridor, "we also have spaces for leisure and living. We're expected to spend a fair amount of time here, so the League ensured we'd be comfortable."

He opened the door to what was apparently the common room, revealing couches, a big-screen TV, and a stocked kitchenette. I practically melted at the sight of a coffee machine in the corner.

"And here," he added, pointing to a set of doors down another hall, "are the sleeping quarters. Your own space is at the end of the hall. You'll find it's more than sufficient."

"Nice, nice," I said, nodding thoughtfully. "I could get used to this." I glanced over at Megan. "Do you have the same room setup?"

"Yep!" she replied, bright and cheery. "It's not quite like home, but it's cozy. I made sure to add a few personal touches."

"Like what? Alien posters? Martian rock collection?"

She laughed. "Maybe not a rock collection, but I do have a couple of little mementos."

Aqualad opened another door, and I stopped in my tracks. In the center of the hangar, sleek and futuristic, sat a giant orange egg floating above the ground by a meter.

"A Martian egg, hm hm hm," I hummed pensively, pinching my chin and giving it a look with my Six Eyes. From what I could tell, it rhymed a lot with Megan's—anatomy. Thus, it wasn't hard to infer that it was hers. I wasn't really sure what its purpose was, though.

Megan's eyes sparkled with pride. "Our Martian Bio-Ship! She's my own personal spaceship. I brought her from Mars when I came here."

Spaceship? Did she just call this a spaceship?

"How do we fit in?" I asked her.

She grinned and gestured at the egg. It immediately began to morph into a sleek and aerodynamic form, turning into a spaceship in truth.

I had to resist with all my might from squealing in delight.

I cleared my throat, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. "And, uh… it flies, right? As in, actually goes out there?"

She nodded, grinning. "Yup! She's fully functional and ready to take us anywhere we need to go."

I managed a smirk in lieu of a scream of joy. "Well, Megan, if you're ever looking for a co-pilot or, you know, a daring adventurer who just happens to have a knack for this kind of thing, I volunteer as tribute."

Megan laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

Aqualad smiled but shook his head at my antics. "Just remember, Gojo, this place is both a training ground and our home base. We take what we do seriously."

I gave a small salute. "Of course, Aqualad. Consider me the picture of responsibility."

As we moved on, I caught Megan's amused glance and couldn't resist winking back. She looked away bashfully. For a Martian, she was really just like any other girl when it came down to it. How very fascinating.

At the end of the tour, which took us back to the hard light computer next to the Zeta Tube, I asked him, "Why do you have gills? Were you bitten by a radioactive tuna?"

Aqualad blinked at me. "No, I'm an Atlantean. You don't have us in your home universe?"

Atlantean? "Atlantis? Are you telling me that Atlantis is real?!"

"Yes," Aqualad said with half a grin playing on his features. "That is my homeland."

"Amazing!" I said. Then I remembered—Aquaman! The fish hero who could talk to fish! "Can you talk to fish as well?"

Before he could answer, the Zeta tube lit up and the mechanical voice heralded the arrival of "Robin, B-01 and Kid Flash, B-03."

Kid Flash? The Flash's son? Wow, western comic writers were just… terrible at making new things.

I turned to get a good look at them. "No way! It's you!" I pointed at Robin. "Listen man, I'm sorry about yesterday. I was a tiny bit annoyed, you see."

"You're that guy!" Kid Flash said, zipping up to me in a flash. "You almost killed a villain yesterday! Why are you even here?" He glanced towards Aqualad, "They're not letting him in the team, are they?"

I put the back of my hand on my forehead and groaned mournfully, "My heart is filled with sorrow and guilt, overflowing! I must redeem myself, so I came to join you!"

"We're watching him," Aqualad said, "While Batman figures out a way to send him back to his home dimension."

"Babysitting," Kid Flash stuck his tongue out in disgust. Wow. "They're not taking us seriously at all! Speedy was right."

"I wouldn't go that far," Robin said quietly as he walked up to us, "If they're trusting us to watch him."

"I don't bite," I waved a hand in front of my face.

"Star City's docks beg to differ," Robin said. He and Kid Flash were both dressed in civilian outfits, only Robin was covering his eyes. What was this one's name again? Dick Grayson? If he was the first, then yes. "You caused a massive amount of damage. A hundred and five million dollars' worth of it, actually, in damaged goods and repair costs. You punched a hole in a cargo ship half a mile away, you know."

Wow, the number just kept ticking up with each time I heard it. I sighed regretfully, "Oh, the horror!"

Kid Flash glared at me, "You don't feel bad at all, do you?"

"Nah," I said with a grin, sticking my tongue out at him. "Come on, guys! I'm sensing a lot of tension for no reason. It can't all be me, right?"

Aqualad sighed, "We have been anticipating a mission for weeks now since the formation of this team. While we are taking your situation seriously, we are indeed disappointed that you are the extent of our responsibilities."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Why aren't they sending you on missions?"

Robin scoffed, "They don't think we can handle it."

Kid Flash frowned, "And you probably fed that perception when you blew the docks apart on our watch."

"Eh," I shrugged, "There's nothing you could have done to stop that. After all, like I said, I was a little annoyed. I had many holes in my body, and…" I clenched my fists and my jaws, "A rather persistent enemy."

"Aqualad," Kid Flash said, "Did you talk to Red Tornado at least?"

"Yes," he replied, "Though I don't foresee him giving us anything in light of our most recent assignment," he looked pointedly at me.

"Great," Kid Flash scoffed. "Just great. Thanks a lot, man." He looked at me when he said it. What was his problem anyway?

"Maa, that hurts!" I replied indignantly. "Besides, do you think I want to be here playing superhero? You think I came here on purpose and don't have highly important things to do where I'm from?" I chuckled. "Don't make me laugh. I was my universe's strongest. And now I have left it undefended. People will die because I am away. My best friend might already be dead. And you don't hear me whining." Until now at least. Dang, these kids were just getting on my nerves. Maybe that's the reason why the real superheroes didn't want to give them anything to do, because they were so awful to get along with? I had an idea to goad them all into fighting me, but I knew that Batman would never give me that salary he promised if I did that.

No fun at all.

Maybe I just should become a villain. At least that would be somewhat entertaining. Then again, I'd end up having to deal with other villains, and that just felt like a horrible proposition.

Caught between a rock and a hard place. Whiny crybaby heroes and downright horrible villains. Everyone sucked here.

"So why don't we forget what is bothering us for one moment and relax?" I asked, "And hang out, and do fun things kids our age do? Instead of complaining like elementary school children?"

"Apologies, Gojo," Aqualad said, "We did not mean to complain about your presence. I can only imagine the distress you may be feeling."

"Distress?" I laughed. "I'm not distressed."

Megan walked up to me to put a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay to—" she looked at her hand which couldn't reach my shoulder. I let go of Infinity and her hand abruptly slapped against my shoulder painfully, enough to immediately send me down to the floor.

I opened my mouth slowly to its widest possible extent and after a few seconds, said "OW!" Reverse Cursed Technique fused my bones together and healed the damage done to my body. I looked at Megan incredulously as she pulled her hand back in shock. "There I go trusting a pretty face," I said, getting up slowly.

"Are you alright?! I didn't mean to—"

"I'm alright," I said. Damn, I shouldn't have released Infinity like that. Clearly, her body packed way more of a punch than mine did naturally. I hadn't seen that coming at all, which was why she had taken me by surprise. "You are strong, girl!"

"I'm a Martian," she said in explanation, "Sorry, I shouldn't have kept pushing against your forcefield, that was rude of me. It just felt like I was making progress for some reason."

"Your hand was moving through the infinite distance between you and me," I said, waving my hand at her in explanation, "I get it. Unpleasant, but understandable. Also understandably, no touch," I shook my head at her. Infinity stayed on from now on.

Any distress that I may or may not have been feeling was instantly forgotten.

"Guys," Robin said, looking at his watch, "Not that… whatever that was isn't cause for more concern, but Red Tornado is coming. Should we at least see what he has to say about missions?"

I saw Superboy join us from down the hallway. Aqualad shrugged, "It's worth a shot. Gojo, are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah," I said, spinning my shoulder. Reverse Cursed Technique worked wonders. "Only my pride is hurting now."

"I'm sorry, Sa-chan," Megan said regretfully.

"Eh, it barely hurt," I said.

"Uh, you screamed—

"That was a joke," I said, laughing out loud as I walked away, "Come on, let's see Red Tornado! He will give us a mission, right? And then you babies can stop crying!"

"You are not cleared for missions," Aqualad said.

"Mission time, mission time!"

000

Make yourselves busy, was the red android's message, after the young heroes had mobbed him for something to do while I stood back and watched their desperation. The Martian had even tried to read the robot's mind to no avail. It was hilarious that she had even tried.

First of all, this world had superpowered robots. Incredible.

Second of all, I did not like the tone of that rusted puppet.

"See!" Kid Flash gestured in annoyance, "They don't take us seriously at all!"

I snapped my fingers in pretend anger. "Goddamn them all! We deserve so much better! I am so angry! Come on, guys! Let us dismantle him for parts and reprogram him to be nicer!"

"Not helping," Kid Flash said to me pointedly.

"I was not trying to," I chuckled. I shrugged, "Maa, I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't mind taking a flight inside Megan's Bio-Ship. I haven't done that before and I think it would be rather fun."

"Ah!" Megan said, "They also need a tour of the place. The Mountain's only been operational for a few days now, they haven't gotten a chance to look around!"

Again?!

I walked into the mountain, "You do that. I'm going to the kitchen to get something to eat." My stomach was killing me.

While the nameless team looked around the mountain without me, I raided the fridge for things I could eat, and found a plastic-wrapped packet of steak. Nice. I looked around the cupboards for rice, finding that, too.

Rice and meat. Something was missing. Green onions? And how long did one cook rice for? Eh, I could just eyeball it.

While I was setting a pot of water to a full boil for the rice, and warming up the pan for the steak, I saw that someone had left some cookies inside the oven. They seemed ready. A little brown, too. I opened the oven and used Blue to pull a cookie out and hold it in the air until it cooled down. Then I flew it around the kitchen at high speeds to get the cookie to cool down faster as I was losing patience.

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

The cookie was very crumbly and tasted a little too cooked. I wasn't an expert on cooking, but they seemed done enough already. I used Blue to pull the tray out and put it on a counter to cool, turning the oven off while the stovetop was warming up.

Around thirty minutes later, I finally had a steak that was cooked to dark brown on the outside, and slightly raw on the inside. Eh. Wasn't this called 'rare'? That was how steak was supposed to be. The rice came out soggy and sticky. It felt wrong in my mouth, but it was food and it was tasty. I just had to keep telling myself that and I would believe it. I didn't even bother to get a plate, I just drained the pot of water, plopped the steak in and started digging in.

Wow, the steak tasted way too plain. Did they forget to salt it or something? Wait, wasn't I supposed to do that? The rice, too!

Eh, sodium was supposed to be bad for you, right? This was actually a good thing, having less salty food!

I could sense the others were coming to the kitchen, so I ate as fast as I could before putting the pot away for someone to wash it, just as they arrived. I didn't want to let them see what I was eating. Frankly, I wish I had just gone hungry.

"Ah, my cookies are ready!" Megan said, looking at the tray. Then she looked at me, "Thanks for taking them out!"

"Right on!" Kid Flash cheered, grabbing himself a handful of cookies, while the rest of the team took a few as well.

…She was totally about to burn those cookies. Hah! What an amateur. I used Blue to grab myself the remaining three cookies.

Kid Flash, who saw that, raised an eyebrow at me, "What are your powers anyways, Gojo?"

"Magic," I said. Kid Flash looked at me flatly.

"Fine, don't tell me."

"I'm serious!" I laughed, "You don't have magic in this universe?"

"We do," Aqualad said.

"Well, my magic is cursed," I said, "I use cursed energy, which is negative energy that gives rise to cursed spirits—stuff like demons and ghosts—and I channel this energy into my cursed technique," I crossed my index and middle finger together, "Limitless. Do you want me to explain my power? Fair warning, it will become way stronger if I do."

Robin grinned at me, "That so?"

"Throw something at me," I said, spreading my arms apart. "Anything."

Kid Flash picked up a fork and lobbed it at me at full speed. It stopped before my Infinity.

"Forcefield," Kid Flash shrugged.

"No," I said, "It's a stretch in space infinitely long. Between myself and you exists an infinite distance," I took the fork and put it on the counter, "The infinity around my body is the convergence of an infinite series. Achilles and the Tortoise. As you approach me, you slow down infinitely, never quite being able to reach me. Like how dividing a number over and over repeatedly can bring it infinitely close to zero, but never quite. My cursed technique brings this phenomenon into reality. This is the application of my Limitless technique called Infinity, and you will find that it is very invincible."

"So nothing goes through," Robin said. "How'd you get stabbed?"

My jaw tensed, "Exceptions exist. All great heroes have a Kryptonite," I said, nodding at Superboy, who just frowned at me. "In my case, it was a cursed tool imbued with the rare ability to penetrate through my cursed technique. My natural enemy." I snorted. Then I grinned, "But, since you don't have any jujutsushi in this universe, or cursed energy for that matter, down here I am truly invincible!"

"Wow," Kid Flash said, "Humble," he snorted.

"What does that mean?" I asked, affecting a look of genuine curiosity. Robin translated the word in Japanese, and I asked him the same thing. "What does that mean?"

He clicked his tongue and grinned.

"Jujutsushi?" Kid Flash asked. "What does that mean?"

"Uh," Robin said.

"Curse magic users," I explained. "Curse arts users? Curse practitioners? Translation is such a fickle game. Something along those lines, you get the gist."

"Ah," he said, "Magic." Yeah. Magic. Was he slow or something?

"Okay," I said, "Joyride time?"

"Ooh!" Megan said, running off. I followed her eagerly! I'd get to ride on an alien ship!

000

"Alien ship!" I cried, looking around the place with my Six Eyes. "Amazing! It uses the same telepathic waves that you do, Megan! And it's so cool!" I switched to Japanese as I gushed, "Awesome, awesome, awesome!"

"Heh, thanks," Megan blushed.

"And the chairs?" I said in English. I looked around the flat floor of the ship. Chairs immediately began to rise up to accommodate us, six in number.

I laughed in joy and hopped onto the frontmost chair.

"Ain't that for the captain?" Kid Flash chided as Megan just went to sit on the chair behind me. Kid Flash rushed to sit on the chair next to hers. Robin took the one on the other side.

"No worries, I can see everything the Bio-Ship sees," Megan said, "Like Sa-chan said, we're telepathically linked."

Kid Flash raised an eyebrow. "So is your full name Sa-chan Gojo?"

"Only cute alien girls get to call me Sa-chan," I said, winking at Megan, who looked flustered. Hah, victory. "My full name is Satoru Gojo. You can use either name, I don't care."

"Shortening the first name and tacking on 'chan' is like a pet name thing in Japan," Robin explained. "Usually, you'd use someone's family name, but Gojo said that whatever's okay."

"Where did you learn Japanese?" I asked him.

"Robin knows every language," Kid Flash bragged. "Batman taught him."

"Not every language," Robin said. "But yeah, the ones most people use at least."

"Wow!" I said, "You really are Robin!"

"Speaking of," Robin said, "You're from a different dimension, but you… knew I was Robin. How?"

"Megan-chan," I called, "Can you make it so that my chair spins?"

"Sure!" She said. I spun on the chair to face Robin and leaned forward, grinning devilishly, "You really wanna know?"

Robin's grin widened, "Now you've got me excited."

"Oh well," I said, shrugging, "This will come out eventually, but the reason I know is because in my home world, you are a comic book character!"

Everyone froze and stared at me.

Robin's grin fell. "You were serious? That time at the docks?"

"Yeah!" I laughed, "You're a superhero I read about as a kid! Isn't that amazing? Batman and the Robin! You came from a circus right? The Flying—"

"Okay, enough!" Robin held up his hands, "Don't reveal my secret identity. Okay?"

I zipped my lips. "Your secret is safe with me, Boy Wonder!" I laughed, then turned to Superboy, "That's what I thought was funny, because, you know, back in my world, none of you are real."

"You're kidding," Superboy said.

"Wow," Kid Flash sighed, "The multiverse is weird, man. Do you know who I am?"

"No, can't say I do," I said. "Obviously, you were probably going to be The Flash's successor, but I never read any comics with you in it."

Robin snorted, "So which hero is the most popular?

"Oh, Batman for sure," I said. "A movie was about to come out called Batman Begins," I gestured in the air, splaying my fingers. "The origin story of the World's Greatest Detective! But the comics have been out since the forties. Amazing, right?"

"That's…" Aqualad paused, "Disconcerting."

"Definitely not concerting," Robin said. "That means you know secret identities. That means, that name you mentioned, Barry—"

"Okay, okay," Kid Flash quickly interrupted, then glared at me, "Why aren't you in a cell?" Kid Flash asked, shocked, "Between what you know and what you did, this doesn't make any sense."

I shrugged. "Maybe it's because Batman is smart enough to not make an enemy out of me." I laughed, "That would be a nightmare; having me run around as one of your supervillains. Hahahah!" I spun to face the windshield.

"You actually think you're all that," Robin said, "What was that thing you said again? Throughout the heavens and the earth, you alone are the honored one?"

"Yep," I said.

"Why?"

"Because I am the greatest jujutsushi of the modern age," I said.

"Okay," Megan said, "Alright, preparing for lift-off."

The ship levitated through a hatch in the ceiling, and then began to fly off.

I sensed that I had probably made things awkward, but hey, they had to find out at some point. Better it be now than later. And besides, they should be grateful to have someone strong like me following them around and taking care of them.

"Enough about me, anyway," I said, "I know Robin doesn't have any powers, Superboy's are self-explanatory, and Kid Flash is fast. But what about you, Aqualad? Besides breathing underwater?"

"I have dense skin," Aqualad said easily, "And I'm strong. One must be if they are to brave the undersea pressures in Atlantis."

There was more, probably. He seemed to have this weird energy coursing through him. "And your magic?"

"I use a pair of tools called water bearers," Aqualad said. "They allow me to manipulate water."

Fitting. "And you, Megan-chan?"

"Well, I'm a Martian," she said, "That means I can read minds, I have telekinesis, and I can shapeshift."

Really? I swung towards her, "Can I see?"

She giggled. "Sure, if the rest of you are up for it." The rest turned towards her, also eager to see. She stood up from her seat and her body seemed to fold in on itself, changing before my very eyes. Her cells transformed in real time as she gained height and her skin-color lightened, as did her hair. Suddenly, she turned into a female version of myself, one that could have been my twin sister. Even her clothes changed into my outfit. Then she changed into Kid Flash in costume. Kid Flash ogled at her with a lecherous grin. And then Robin.

"Awesome!" I said, "Can you also turn into a guy, or is that beyond you?"

She switched into her regular form and looked bashful, "Yeah… it's much harder to imitate males for some reason."

"Your clothes changed," Kid Flash observed.

"Yeah," she pulled at her cardigan, "They are biological and respond to my telepathy as well." Awesome.

"Can you density shift like Manhunter?" Kid Flash asked.

She shook her head, "That… is a very advanced technique."

"The Flash can phase through solid objects," Robin pointed out, "But when Kid Flash does it, bam, nosebleed."

"No fair!" Kid Flash complained.

"My ship can do this, too!" She said, and suddenly, it became transparent.

"Wait, how does this look like from outside?" I asked, "Are we floating mid-air?"

"No," she laughed, "The ship cloaks everything inside as well."

Robin, Kid Flash and Aqualad all paid their admirations and I looked around at the portside town beneath us. It was a quiet little place, a far cry from the great cities that the real heroes toured. I could see why they were indignant about being sent here. I doubted there was anything to find here.

"Ah, I'm getting a transmission!" Megan summoned a computer monitor from the ground, patching someone in, "Miss Martian, reading you loud and clear, Red Tornado. Oh wait, you haven't… said anything yet."

"Greetings, Miss Martian."

"Reading you loud and clear! Greetings back!"

"I see you have taken the team on a joyride in your Bio-Ship. Very convenient. I would like for you to investigate a disturbance in the following coordinates."

A mission?

"Of course, sir," Miss Martian replied eagerly, "Ah, we have Sa-chan with us on the ship. Would it be fine to bring him?"

"As long as he does not participate should a situation arise," Red Tornado said.

"Loud and clear, sir," Megan repeated, and I chuckled quietly. "We will let you know once we've investigated the situation.

"Good. Red Tornado out." Then the monitor sunk into the earth again. What an arrogant robot. Something about his attitude, as a literal manmade machine, sort of rankled me. Was I maybe an anti-robotist or something? I probably should examine that bias before it got me in trouble.

"What a drag," I muttered in Japanese, folding my arms and looking at the windshield.

Alright. Far be it from me to provide my services, especially for free! I hadn't even been paid yet!

"It's for the best," Robin muttered, "We don't need a giant hole going through the earth in Happy Harbor."

"I can hold back!" I said, "Not well, but I can!"

"You will have your chance," Aqualad said, "Once the League has cleared you for service."

"Fine. I don't care," I rolled my eyes as I planted my feet on the dashboard, "I'm on vacation. Nobody bother me."

"Does that mean you'll stop talking?" Superboy asked gruffly.

"Nyeh," I stuck my tongue out at him, "Why can't you be nice like Superman?"

"What did you say?" Superboy growled at me. What? I raised an eyebrow and grinned at him.

"Oh? Did I cross a line, Superboy? I said 'why can't you be nice like Superman'?"

Superboy clenched his fists and glared daggers at me, and for a moment I wondered if he was going to use his heat vision on me.

"Gojo, stand down," Aqualad commanded.

I raised my hands in a placating manner, "Hai, hai. And here I thought America was the land of the free. I can't even talk without someone wanting to punch me. Tyranny!"

"Don't go running your mouth about things you don't know," Superboy said, "Last warning."

Last warning? I spun my chair to face him.

"Gojo," Aqualad said.

"Don't go around asking for a fight you can't win," I said to Superboy, switching unconsciously to Japanese. Shit. Before I could translate, Superboy growled at me.

"Why don't we put that to the test, honored one?" He spat at me. It was in English, but it was convenient to know that someone else could understand my language. That made everyone here except for Aqualad and Kid Flash. Megan could understand me if I allowed her to read my mind probably. Martian Manhunter had read my mind after all. Maybe thoughts transcended language barriers?

"Gojo, last warning," Aqualad said, "Or I'm getting Megan to turn this ship around and leave you behind on Mount Justice."

I spun away from Superboy and turned to Aqualad, "Maybe you should talk to your friend, too, and not just me?" Threaten to kill someone once and suddenly, you were the bad guy forever. And if I put Superboy in his place after relentlessly attacking my pristine character, suddenly I'd be in the wrong. Meanies, the lot of them.

Aqualad looked at Superboy, "If you have nothing polite to say, then keep it to yourself, Superboy. There is no sense in provoking Gojo."

"None at all!" I said, "You might as well be poking a sleeping bear—"

"Not helping," Aqualad said.

Phew. Tough crowd.

"We're arriving," Megan said as we pulled up to a factory in a rather out-of-the-way place. It was just one big factory building and a huge parking lot next to it. People were running out of the building in panic as what looked to be a tornado forming.

Megan landed the Bio-Ship, opening a ramp behind it as the team rushed out. Last to leave was Aqualad, who turned to me with a glare, "Stay."

"Woof!"

"I mean it," Aqualad said seriously.

"Aye aye, captain," I said, giving him a lazy salute and a grin.

Once he did disappear, I watched as they took stock of the situation.

Robin immediately ditched them, sneaking off under everyone's noses to infiltrate the factory on his own. Hah. I didn't hate overconfident kids like him.

Then he flew out from the factory, rolling on the floor painfully. Ouch. Still, he got up, pretty much unharmed. Wow. He and Batman were definitely some type of superhuman if they could work on the level of the Justice League. It didn't matter how many bladed boomerangs you had—that level of skill was superhuman on its own.

I watched in amusement as the team got their asses kicked by a robot inside a larger, red robot that reminded me slightly of Red Tornado. One of his siblings, perhaps? Possibly crafted from the same guy. The make-up rhymed quite a bit.

The robot was red with vertical black stripes running down from its shoulders and neck. It had wide bands of steel around its thighs and forearms, the latter which had blue tubes attached, leading to a backpack thing on its back that likely housed the magic juice that let the thing throw around weather phenomena.

Finally, just for style, it wore a cute brown scarf. And it had attitude. One more thing it shared with Red Tornado. I grinned in amusement as I watched through the walls of the factory.

As they kept getting their asses handed to them with no end in sight, their lives seeming to be in very real danger, I sighed. Guess I'd save them.

I warped out from the ship—it was a short enough distance that I could easily manage it—, standing up on the ceiling, and stepped out to fly over to them. "Need a hand?" I yelled from the sky, giving them the widest grin I could muster.

"No!" Aqualad yelled, "We've figured it out. That's Red Tornado."

I blinked at them. "No, it's not."

"Who are you?" the red and black robot looked at me. "Another hapless sidekick come to be grinded down?"

First of all, the heroes of this world were not nearly serious enough for a test to be this destructive. People had been injured inside the factory, nursing broken limbs from objects having fallen on them from the robot's tornadoes. This just didn't mesh at all with what I knew of these guys. And besides, "He's a robot! Inside another robot!" How inefficient. Why in the world did a robot need another human-shaped robot to operate it? Unless the red robot was actually meant to be a power suit for a human operator? If so, why put a robot inside? Why not just make it all one robot?

This superhero world was weird. Not that I was going to try very hard to make sense of it. That was above my paygrade. All I was seeing was an enemy in need of squashing.

"Enough of this!" the tornado robot roared, summoning horrible weather and lightning in preparation to kill us, "I've given you several chances to leave with your lives! But if this is what it will take to bring the real heroes here, then I will gladly dismember you all!"

I flew up above the kids, arms folded as I floated to the tornado man's level. "Why don't you start with me, tornado man?"

He threw a spinning cyclone of wind at me. I dodged it easily, slipping through the streams of wind to appear next to him. I raised my hand, summoning a "Maximum output: Blue!" I wrenched him from the sky in an instant, catching him inside a blob of pure attractive force. Then I lowered him to the level of the kids. The inclement weather died down immediately as the wind settled. "Alright now, I've got him stuck. Beat the crap out of him!"

"We've passed your test, Red Tornado! We will not engage!" Aqualad yelled at the robot.

I rolled my eyes and ripped his arms and legs off. Then his head.

"No!" Kid Flash roared, "What have you done?!"

Then I wrenched the torso of the robot open, revealing the other robot inside. It looked remarkably human, but to the Six Eyes, nothing could be concealed. I was pretty sure even a normal human could spot the imperfections.

"What?" Robin asked, shocked.

Then I caught him in my Blue as well, freezing him in place. "Mercy!" the robot shouted.

"Hahah, nope!"

I threw him up in the air.

"Wait, no!" Kid Flash roared.

I landed in front of the gobsmacked teenagers. "Do you people never learn? I told you, that was the robot inside the bigger robot? Do you not have eyes?"

Superboy glared at the robot in the sky, falling down. Megan raised her hand to catch it, but Superboy lowered her hand. "He's right. That's not a human."

"Really?!" Aqualad asked, shocked.

The robot landed before us, sending cracks through the ground and the sharp sound of metal on asphalt ringing through the air.

Then I pulled it apart, every screw and every component, dismantling and expanding the robot before everyone's eyes before letting it drop. All except for the eye, which was clearly a camera that transmitted a feed somewhere. Even by itself, the eye functioned and transmitted signals. I brought the eye closer and grinned at it. "Don't give me a reason to find you, robot maker. You will have a bad time."

Then I crushed the eye with Blue, compressing it into a tiny metal and plastic ball, and clapped my hands. "Problem solved!"

Aqualad stomped up to me, "You were told to stand by while we solved the problem."

"You weren't solving the problem," I said with a scoff, "You were getting your butts kicked."

"Thank you, Sa-chan," Megan said, walking up to me, "I know you had your orders, but I really don't think we could have done this without you."

"Yeah, we could have!" Kid Flash said, glaring at me, "We were trained by the League. You destroy things! That's all you can do!"

"What did I destroy, except for a robot?!" I asked, shocked, "Unless you guys also care so much about robot lives! Is that a thing here, too? Robot rights?" Then I looked at Megan, "You are welcome, Megan-chan. See that?" I gestured at her and looked at everyone else, "That is called gratitude. Now, let's go eat some pizza or something. Mission accomplished!"

Superboy tried to shove past me as he walked towards the Bio-Ship, but he failed to penetrate my Infinity. He just stomped onwards, uncaring. I felt a sting of pity for him. Roughly none of his ineffectual anger could ever affect me. Poor baby.

"Batman will hear of this," Aqualad said, walking the same way as Superboy. Robin and Kid Flash followed.

"Don't take it the wrong way," Megan said with a sigh, "It's just that… we've been so eager for an opportunity to handle a situation."

I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. "In my defense, the team didn't look like it was able to handle things."

"I'm not sure we even are a team," Megan replied forlornly.

I sighed. "Back where I'm from, a large part of active jujutsushi hunting curses are actually high schoolers. That's because they die so often, they can't even wait for us to graduate. I know this is what you've trained for, but… things could be worse. If things are quiet, it's because the world isn't in so much trouble that it needs you."

"The Justice League are always handling cases," Megan said, "They could afford to give us something."

"Be careful what you asked for," I said. Then I grinned radiantly, "And of course you're a team. Now, all of you agree that I'm the worst! And now you've bonded!"

"Was that always your plan?"

"Yes," I lied.

000

"You were given explicit orders to remain on the sidelines while the Team investigated the disturbance," Red Tornado said to me. We were on the main floor of Mount Justice, and the other five were standing in a line far behind me, watching me get dressed down.

"I know," I said, "But it was too difficult watching the weak and helpless get thrown around like ragdolls! I had to do something."

"That you did not cause any further damage is the only reason why you are not in greater trouble," Red Tornado said to me.

I rolled my eyes. "You think I care about the pride of these guys? People were in danger! I was a hero today!" I spread my arms wide, "I should be getting my cape already." And a League invite. These kids were sorry. No two ways about it, they actually sucked at this. If this was an MMO, I was a level eighty veteran while these kids were level ten newbies.

I would have to weaken myself in order for them to have anything to do.

"You should be taking this more seriously," Red Tornado said, "You are an interdimensional immigrant with no deep understanding of this world, and an ethical framework that differs drastically from ours. And you have shown a historical willingness to resort to deadly violence and mass destruction."

"You try to keep a smile and good manners when you have several holes in your body," I said, pouting at him, "Ma, Robo-chan, why are you picking on me when I did such a good job? Where are my headpats?" I folded my arms and looked down forlornly.

"The Batman will hear of this, of course. And of your categorical lack of remorse."

"That's just playing dirty," I frowned.

"You are dismissed."

I turned on my heels and gave the others a brilliant smile. "Thank you for having my back, guys! We make such a good team!"

"Go away," Superboy said.

"Nyeh," I stuck my tongue out at him. "Hage."

"I'm not bald," Superboy frowned.

"Hage, hage, hage—"

Superboy clenched his jaws and growled.

Hah. He was so easy to wind up.