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Indisposable Trash (Old)
Chapter 3: Despair

Chapter 3: Despair

Lilac’s eyes widened as the words shattered the silence. A second stretched to infinity in which questions and what-if-scenarios threatened to overwhelm her mind. She waited for the sudden darkness of death and trembled. Her heart thudded in her chest, waiting for the moment to stop. Yet, nothing happened.

Shakily standing up, Lilac glanced at the sleeping girl before turning to the blanket covering the opening. Should she go out and check, or were the drones waiting for her to step out of the dubious safety of the dwelling? The girl bit her lip. It made no sense. If the drones wanted to kill her, she would be dead already.

“Please. No!”

Lilac quickly crouched down as the pleading cry filled the air. Her hands shook as she wiped the sweaty hair off Chickadee’s pale face. Her eyes darted from the cut to the entrance. The only thing she could give was some words of comfort and she already talked once...

“It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

Lilac closed her eyes and swallowed down her rising panic. A part of her ached to yell and scream as everything else threatened to crumble. She yearned for an easy solution, but there was nothing she could do. Since the installation of the Great Fence, hospitals were not an option, and the Chemical River cannot save Chickadee now. Not unless she wanted to burn off the whole foot, and the fact that she talked…

The girl buried her face in her hands. Was this how her parents felt? Was another person going to disappear from her life? Her hands curled into a fist. Hadn’t she lost enough?

Lilac lifted her head as she heard the blanket fall with a muffled thump. Turning her head, she watched as a drone made its way towards her. Its lights flashed an ominous red, and the circular lens-like body reflected the dim light.

Lilac had nowhere to go. Chickadee spoke. Her mind whirred with a litany of possible actions. Perhaps she could destroy it, or perhaps she could-

“Don’t hurt me. I’ll be good, I promise.”

Lilac widened her eyes as she glanced at the feverish girl. Chickadee talked in the presence of a drone. What could she do? What could she say?

You are Animalia; thus, you shall not speak.

Suddenly, fear turned to hopelessness. Even that one part of her, gave up.

She was a fool to think she could survive. Her parents did some terrible things to help keep the business afloat to pay for her gene alterations. They struggled so hard, and yet, in the end, even they died of overwork in this dump. In this place, death was the only constant. If someone didn’t die of diseases, they would die of cancer from the toxic fumes of the chemical river. If someone tries to cross the fence, they get vaporised.

They had witnessed countless deaths and now, it was just their time to leave.

Trash were animals, helpless against the whims of their human masters, and it had always been that way. Whether the designation was official or not, was never really important. It was an unalterable fact of life, and it always will be. The humans decided that she and Chickadee were to die. The humans engineered her demise and the deaths of her parents. She had no say, and who was she to dare try to save someone’s life? Why did she even try to survive?

Truthfully, some part of her already gave up a long time ago.

Lilac smiled. At least everything was all over. She would die, and Chickadee would follow her. It was...nice to finally give in, to finally relax.

“Just do it. I can’t do this anymore.”

The drone flashed its lights. Lilac waited, and nothing happened.

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Lilac gritted her teeth as hot tears warped her vision. What was it waiting for? “Why aren’t you killing me? Just do it! End me! End it now! End my sister. Just please, at the very least, please end her suffering.”

Nothing. The drone continued humming impassively while Chickadee whimpered.

Lilac grabbed a piece of warped plastic and threw it at the drone. She watched as it bounced off harmlessly. “Why do you have to be so defective? Why-”

The drone sprayed on her face. Lilac yelped as her eyes stung violently. She felt herself fall on top of Chickadee, her body losing all strength. A smile spread across her face as her vision dimmed and blurred. She vaguely heard a whirr before rapidly encroaching silence downed it out, sending her to eternal peace.

“See you on the other side, Chickadee.”

“We can’t do this! It’s immoral”

The small girl watched as her mother scattered the papers into the air. She shrunk away as her father pointed at her.

“She is going to die. Our daughter is going to die if we don’t keep our business afloat. You’ve seen the conditions that the Trash live in. They are treated worse than animals. They are nothing, and they live in our filth. Do you want Lilac, our daughter, to live in that?”

Her mother pursed her lips and tugged at her tangled hair. “I don’t-I I don’t know what to do anymore. Can we talk about this later when Lilac goes to sleep? I-I need to think about this”

Her father sighed, scooping up the papers. “Well, we better get to a consensus soon. We only have enough for a few days before those officials come knocking on our door. You and I know what will give us a way to survive, and we both know that it’s not through morality.”

Lilac opened her eyes. She blinked as the ceiling came into view, flickering in and out of darkness. Why was she still alive? Didn’t she die? Did Chickadee die? The girl felt for any movement.

Nothing.

At least she would be – Chickadee shifted as she took a breath, dying but alive. Tears ran down her face. Chickadee lived. Why? Why were they both alive? It wasn’t fair.

They weren’t even allowed to die.

Lilac closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. Her heart panged with guilt. Chickadee would continue to suffer, and she...she would not be able to do a thing.

Opening her eyes, she attempted to reach the ceiling, finding herself unable to lift her arms. The girl clenched her teeth as she heard the rasping breaths of her sister gradually becoming more and more shallow.

Nothing ever went right. Chickadee, the only person she depended on, trusted even, was tortured on death’s door. Lilac’s own wish to spare the pain of her sister, as well as her own, was denied.

Did the whole world hate their existence or were they just too cowardly to take fate into their own hands?

Lilac held back sobs as she saw the girl’s face shine with cold sweat. Was there really nothing she could do? She forced herself to stand, shaking as she looked around. The girl froze as her eyes landed on the entrance. Long, rusted nails jutted out from the side of the crushed-can wall. It only required a tug to get them free.

Lilac yelped as her legs gave out. She turned her attention back to Chickadee. There was one thing...

She could do one thing.

There would be so much blood, but she would be at peace. Then-then it would be her turn. They would be at peace together, as all good friends should.

Lilac shook her head. It was wrong, but was living in this place worth it? Everyone died early, devoid of all hope. It was better to just disappear. If all the Trash died, then the humans had to take their place. It would serve them right.

Yet, she didn't want to die. She wanted to live all along, some part of her wanted to see another sunrise. That was why she held on so long. In the end, she couldn’t even end her own misery, let alone end the pain of another. In the end, she relied on the humans but they were cruel.

It was an utterly idiotic, self-perpetuated cycle of living despair.

"It hurts. Please get rid of it. Please."

Lilac looked back at Chickadee whose eyes were glazed with pain. She held back a sob.

Chickadee smiled wanly. "Everything burns. I don't want to feel it anymore. I don't like this. Please save me, save me from the pain."

Lilac shook her head. She flinched as Chickadee’s eyes stared into her soul.

“You promised.”

The girl gritted her teeth. That promise…it wasn’t that kind of promise. Yet, did she have the right to refuse? Her only friend begged to get rid of her pain. No one should do that.

Lilac stood back up, robotically reaching for the long, bent pieces of metal. She stopped, biting her lip before grasping the longest nail. This was it. This was their way out, their saviour - a long, rusted nail.

The ground shook, throwing her back down. Lilac frowned as she saw clusters of drones exploding in a ball of fire. A hot wave of air blew into her face shortly after.

What in the-

Another cluster of drones exploded, a mere metre from her dwelling. Moments later, a shock wave slammed into her body. Fiery pain exploded everywhere and the acrid smell of something burning filled the air. Unconsciousness threatened to overwhelm her mind.

Lilac squinted as the light flickered and died. More explosions continue to shake the earth, lighting up the sky with yellow-red light.

What just happened?