My son, I would never advise another to become indebted to a mortal. No one could have predicted what debt to a mortal could do to one of us. My case was infinitely improbable. But you must understand: it was worth it to me. I am at peace.

It may seem impossible to you, but something about Alexia changed me. Eighth generation from the factory floor, indebted to a human, and I am not sure that I am pure maton anymore.

Alexia has released me from my debt to her, but I feel what shouldn't be physically possible: I miss her. I miss someone who is dead, and the weight of the loss is like a part of me has been torn away and left to gape. I have, of course, released you from your debt to me in the event of my destruction, so you'll never know what that is like. It will seem madness to you that I wouldn't have it any other way.

After all I have seen, all I have been, I have to believe that I am more human than maton. That when I am destroyed and my consciousness is released, some part of me will live on, and that that part of me will search for Alexia and find her.

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I arranged the flowers for her funeral—real flowers this time—but I could not bring myself to attend. However, I was able to reconnect with one of the members of my old campaign team, who has enacted a delayed voluntary release of consciousness in me. As of writing this, I have twenty-four hours to complete the VRC's for the sunken mata.

I will send this message along with him, and I will stop him before he reaches you if I do return to the surface of the waves. I can choose to disengage my own impending VRC at any time while I am still alive. But I feel that to fulfill my debt—oh! Debt is such an insufficient word! But you will understand no other—I must remain under the water.

My son, please do not think me lost. I take this path of my own volition. I am embarking on a journey I cannot explain, the most important destination of my existence.

If you are reading this letter, I found her.