I went to the bath and submerged my face in the cold water. Jesus, I needed to calm down. I cannot let rage get the best of me and make me rush to action. Improvisation often becomes the mother of failure. I think the best I can do to remain down to earth, to not become the insane alter ego of a madman, is secure a small victory.

Next time Gadorprims gets out on one of his ego-boosting trips, it is imperative to seize the situation and release Carmela.

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There’s no need for you to release Carmela, Namesake: I will. The bear competes for the love of Lady Scarlet, and they who don’t wish to be here do not deserve to be here, either. I’d expel you away, but I am starting to suspect that we are one and the same, one bodied twins, me and my evil whiny side, battling for control. Tomorrow I will go and inquire about the purpose of keeping the bear. Maybe then the bear, too, wants to kill these ostensible dragons that are nowhere to be found.

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He will get us killed. Not for this, but eventually. I will get myself killed. I have no energy to complain about this today, I want to sleep. Good night or morning or evening.

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I am writing this moments afore asking Lady scarlet about Carmela, Carmelita. Today’s chores have been concluded: the kennels are clean, the balls are organized, the plants watered. This, combined with my exemplar behavior as of late, is bound to make her receptive to my begging for favors.

I have climbed upon the carpet made out of the golden lizard, and I am besides her throne. She looks at me curiously, like a woman staring at a dog grooming himself and accidentally biting some sensible body part.

“My Lady, what is the purpose of the dogs?” I ask shyly.

“They serve, Pawn. They help make the wine,” she deadpans. “Are you writing about this interaction right now?” Yes, Lady Scarlet.

“Yes, Lady Scarlet.”

“Pfft, you love that damned thing,” she says, pulling a strand of hair away from her delicate face.

“My lady, what is the purpose of The Fish?” I pester her further.

“They try to escape, pawn, but they are held in the bath to welcome the surprise visitors.”

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“And, the plants?” Like a small annoying child.

“I… forgot. I forgot why I have the garden at all. Would you mind if I remodel, pawn? I have a few ideas I need to try out.”

“No, my Lady, if you want the garden gone, so do I.”

She laughs heartily and energetically tousles my hair “Good boy, my dear butler.”

The curtains of blue extend and flutter mirthfully behind her throne. This may be the chance.

“Are you in need of more space for remodeling, My dear Lady? Because I have another room to propose.”

“It’s always welcome. This palace can become very… stagnant over time. Gadorprims!” she beckons. “Gadorprims!” she repeats, slightly annoyed.

“You have no right to interrupt my slumber, Scarlet Lady!” he retorts without coming out of the chamber where he and The Lady generally sleep.

“Move your scaly tail down here right now, love, it’s an important matter!”

Grumbling, Gadorprims comes out of the chamber, slithering up the rug.

“I want to redecorate and I need materials. Tender, new materials.”

“And that’s important? Urgent? Scarlet Lady the Receiver, do you have brainstuff inside that cute head of yours?”

I quickly closed the diary, left the quill to a side, unsheathed Jilly and assumed the en garde position.

“May I bolt him? Teach him a lesson? Bolt him twice over? I promise whatever remains of him will be alive and healable, dear.”

“The both of you behave, or I will … require your services during the redecoration. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, dear,” granted Gadorprims.

“If that’s your will, Lady Scarlet. I do prefer you opaque, that way is easier to find you and…”

She slapped me on the back of my head. “It’s a figure of speech, not to be taken literally.”

I sat back in the rug, recovered the diary, and returned to writing this entry.

“As I was saying: get me some new materials, Gadorprims, love.”

“How… new?”

“Imagine I am pregnant, and we expect to have a girl. Remember what you told me some mothers in the city do?”

Gadorprims bares his gharialesque teeth. “Understood. Do you also want a wedding dress?”

“I could use it,” she concedes, and shrugs smugly.

“You better give me at least a dozen for this,” he complains and then gallops out.

“A dozen what?” I ask.

She sighs, defeated, tired.

“The man likes his eggs.”

I am waiting a while. I take scales from the golden lizard and cast them downslope. They roll, bouncing once or twice, before losing balance and falling to the side. Curious. I will repeat it a few more times.

Same result, same result. Weird scales.

“Lady Scarlet, what is the purpose of the bear?”

She shifts in her seat, uneasy. “It was Gadorprims capricious adquisition. He doesn’t even care about her these days. I cannot make her do something useful around here, I tried, so she is just… a guest, Pawn. Pay no mind to her.”

“Do you want me to get rid of her so you can redecorate her room instead?”

She scratches her chin and then stares at me with a mischievous smirk.

“Please do, and inform me when the deed is done. I can certainly use that for some new decorations.”