Somewhere in the past but not so far away into the future, an ancient palace – pure white in its pristine glory – floated through an endless sea of time and space.

Throughout history of all realms, the few mortals that could even catch a glimpse of this mythical sanctuary had always fallen down on both knees, weeping in joy and worship of the holiness above.

It was natural, of course. After all, when bearing witness to such miracle, how could people not be filled with a sense of awe towards their mysterious, yet benevolent, Makers?

A snow pale cat known as Sta'ndin – the dutiful guardian of this palace – certainly believed so.

Still, even those with the most fervent sense of duty couldn’t escape boredom, after spending an eternity as the sole keeper of this holy ground.

The yawning feline, who had started to lick its hiney in the most upstanding way possible, could attest to that.

Anyway…

On one special day, just like all the other special days, the guardian paused its eternal vigil of keeping clean. With one lazy stretch, Sta'ndin left its perch on the windowsill and gracefully moved towards the center of this palace.

After all, just a peek outside would reveal that a new soul had almost arrived at this cradle of birth and rebirth.

*Whoosh*

As time and space made way for a shooting star, one bright light soon coated the center of the ancient palace in its radiant glory.

Such a miracle caused countless rays of hope to trickle outside the sanctuary, piercing through even the pitch-black void of time and space. Somewhere, out there, the people on a world besieged by darkness could only weep in joy. A prophecy had been unfolded, and a hero would soon arrive to save their world from the evil Demon King that plagued the land!

But, that was a story for the future, not the past.

At this present, though, Sta'ndin could only chuckle as it gazed upon the form of one young human, who was looking at the marble room with awe and wonder in his eyes.

“Arise, oh chosen one.”

Sta'ndin said in the most noble of ways, causing the mortal youth to whip his head towards it. As the boy - who couldn’t have been older than 18 years of age - looked at the descending form of Sta'ndin and its angelic wings, a sense of pride couldn’t help but sprout within the eternal guardian.

After all, throughout an eternity, this sacred duty remained to be something entrusted to Sta'ndin and Sta'ndin alone. It was the divine blessing from the Makers, as well as a symbol of the trust They held for Their most beloved creation.

And, perhaps, if Sta'ndin could prove its worth one day… Maybe, just maybe, it would be able to earn its parents’ love…

With a shake of the head, Sta'ndin pushed away the stray thought as it focused upon its duty once more.

“Oh, poor lamb… Thou hath suffered a fate most tragic. Yet, ‘tis not yet thy time to hie towards the yonder. Our Makers, merciful as they art mysterious, hath deemed it fit to mark thee. Withal, this Sta’ndin, keeper of the Heaven, shall offer thee a chance. A chance, for thee to prove thy worth as a slayer of woe and the wicked. Perchance, the term “transmigration” might be familiar to thy young mind?”

Sta'ndin watched with a smirk as the boy widened his eyes in surprise.

Yet, what the guardian heard next almost made it drop to the floor in shock…

“I F*CKING KNEW IT! This whole system thing is a scam!!!”

The ancient guardian blinked once, then twice. Before its divine intelligence could function properly again, however, the young human had already closed the distance between them both.

As a side note, it should be mentioned that Sta’ndin was still flying in the air. And the human boy, who was supposed to be a normal individual from an utterly normal planet known as Earth, was now right in front of it…

“You said that your name is Sta’ndin, right? Did these “Makers” give you that name or was it something you were “born with”? Have you realized that its literal meaning is “stand-in”? Are you happy with being a glorified mouthpiece for your bosses or is all this show of devotion a front and you’re secretly planning to become a secret boss and overthrow the system? The lores seem to hint that divine beasts in this universe are knockoffs for angels, plus the way you called this place “haven” certainly suggests that… Wait… Oh, my, DOGS…”

The boy gasped, both eyes wide like saucers. Hilariously big saucers. They were still growing, somehow…

To Sta’ndin’s utter embarrassment, its situation was a spitting mirror upon seeing such a sight. Whatever the *censored* it heard next certainly didn’t help, either.

“How could I not see this before… It’s so obvious… The Egyptians are behind this! They openly worshipped cats while secretly worked to demonize dogs! This whole system was a ploy devised by their modern remnant - the Illuminati - which aimed to overthrow the real deity which, for whatever reason, took on the form of A DOG!!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!”

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

Sta’ndin was not ashamed to admit that its jaw had already dropped to the floor by this point. What it found absolutely mortifying, however, was the fact that it had been so shaken by the youth’s words that it actually decided to connect itself with the Interweb™ to comprehend the utter *censored* terminologies which were still being poured into its ears.

What Sta’ndin saw almost made it lose faith in humanity.

No, scratch that. What Sta’ndin found almost made it lose faith in the Makers Themselves, especially when They had decided to give this nutcase – who somehow managed to fill the sacred Interweb™ to the brim with his *censored*censored*censored* theories – a follow on Spacebook™…

Sta’ndin itself never got a follow from the Makers… At most, They would give its diligent work reports the rare emoji or some dreaded “ok”…

Sta’ndin’s eyes twitched dangerously.

Somehow, in all its life guiding reincarnated souls towards their redemption, this human(?) was the one that managed to top every other troublesome youth. For Makers’ sake, Sta’ndin had even managed to knock some senses into those idiots that wanted to court Death while screaming “YOU DARE!?!” all the time, yet it was this boy that… that…

Wait a minute.

… Where did he go?

- - -

If anyone were to ask, Arnold would say that he was a normal boy, born to a normal household.

He wasn’t strong, he wasn’t the brightest tool in the shed, but he was brave!

So brave that, when his father asked him to chop some trees near their forest dwelling, Arnold had decided to axe up and march towards the dark woods instead.

It had certainly felt like a good idea at the time…

Then again, the war between the Kingdom and the Demon King’s army had been heating up. And, while Arnold might have been too young to run away from home, slay some princess and rescue a dragon, he still knew one sure-fire way to help the war effort.

Of course, that was to provide his father’s forge with a bunch of cursed firewood!

Certainly, the village guards wouldn’t mind some free additions to their weapon shipment. After all, wouldn’t arms and armors grow stronger if they got haunted by a bunch of ghosts? The paladins claimed that their weapons were blessed with ancient spirits, so this should be the same, right?

His mother had taught him that, so it must be true!

… Well, mother also got burned at the stake for “unethical dark magic practice” and father had been doing his best to steer Arnold away from her old teachings, but that was beside the point.

Anyway, what Arnold was trying to say was that, such a normal boy like him certainly did nothing wrong.

It wasn’t his fault when the sign which read “EVIL FOREST, TURN BACK!” didn’t look convincing enough to stop his quest.

It wasn’t his fault when the hungry witch got kicked into her cauldron, dragging a pair of blonde twins along with her.

It wasn’t his fault when some young bunnies asked him for food while he was finishing off a screaming treant and he had to say, “nay”.

Such act of animal cruelty ached Arnold’s nonexistent heart, but he must persevere.

And, it was definitely, absolutely, not Arnold’s fault when a young noble from the far East sneaked up on him, causing him to lose the grip of his axe.

It was the fault of a very sharp, axe-like object which caused the untimely death of said noble, though…

After a frantic sweep of the area, Arnold could only sigh in relief that there was no witness to his… to someone’s horrid manslaughter. Indeed, whoever did this was just plain awful, leaving a poor boy to rot in the middle of nowhere and stinking up the place.

Thus, to help protect the environment, Arnold would need to dispose of this body right now!

“It wasn’t my fault… It wasn’t my fault… I’m not a monster… No one will ever know…”

“Know what, though?”

The sudden voice behind him, as well as the hand of someone on his shoulder, caused Arnold to react in the most appropriate way any boy his age would have done.

“AHHH!!!”

“Wahhhhhh!”

“AHHHHHHHH!!!”

“Wahhhhhhhhhhhharewescreamingabout???”

“Gh- Gh- GHOST!!!”

“… Ghost? Did you just say, GHOST!?”

As the young noble, who still had an axe lodged into his skull, took out a thin strip of paper and started dancing around, Arnold could only drop his jaw in bafflement.

“… Uhm, what are you doing?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m testing to see if this talisman I bought back at home would be able to work against RPG ghosts.”

Arnold, having absolutely no clue what “are-pee-gee” was, just nodded dumbly.

“So… you got a special amulet from the church, my lord? And, you’re not hurt from… you know…?”

“The Church? Meh, I wouldn't trust the Church as far as I could throw it. Churches in isekai are just the worst, and I’ll expose them all!!! Oh and by the way, I’m not a “lord”, so please don’t off me and strip all my belongings.” The fancily-dressed-but-not-a-noble(?) said, before chuckling as he finally noticed the blood dripping down his head. “Heh, seems that it’s already a bit late for the first part, huh?”

Arnold watched in both horror and amazement as the grisly stranger in front of him yanked the axe free, causing some blood to splatter onto the surrounding – which included his slackened face.

As the chopper got handed back to him, it took all of Arnold’s will to stop staring at how soaked and red the thing was. By the time he actually managed to lift his face up and offer an apology, however, any possible word had already died off in his throat.

After all, the non-noble boy no longer had any gore, or wound, on his head.

Arnold blinked, before looking down.

There was no blood on his hand.

The axe looked spotless. The grasses below felt green and not soaked in crimson like mere moments ago. Arnold’s own face didn’t have a single spot of red on it as well. He just checked with his own hand.

I see…

Arnold nodded quietly, pleased that he had finally figured out what was going on.

Thus, after putting his axe down, Arnold solemnly brought two fingers out front to resemble a cross.

“BEGONE, DEMON! THE POWER OF GEIST COMPELS THEE!!!

“…”

“LET THERE BE LIGHT, WICKED ONE! TREMBLE AS ITS BRILLIANCE SHINES UPON US ALL!!!”

“……”

“Eh… Don’t eat me and the Makers will show mercy upon your soul? Plus, I’m a golem so I won’t even taste good…ish?”

“… Note to self, investigate the significance of references across the multiverses, especially the RPG, VHS and loony ones.” The probably-a-demon said to a strange box that he just pulled out of his pocket. “And as for you, my young fren, let me tell you this…”

The surrounding air turned chilly as darkness seemed to loom over the very dark woods. With shaky breath, Arnold took a step back, then two, then three, and it didn’t take long before he found his back against a withered tree. Meanwhile, the demonic one hadn’t taken a single step, yet somehow, it felt as if Arnold couldn’t really put any distance between them.

Sure enough, the moment Arnold blinked his weary eyes, his fear was proven true.

An ominous figure in fancy clothes now stood right before him.

Gulping nervously, Arnold noted that the upper half of its face had been obscured by a veil of shadow. Whether this was due to a lack of sunlight this far down the woods’ floor or some kind of dark magic, however, Arnold simply couldn’t care less.

Especially when the monstrous one was leaning its head ever closer towards him…

Arnold expected sharp teeth and fangs, death and pain, darkness and foulness. Yet, what the monster whispered to his ears would leave Arnold terrified in ways he didn’t even know exist.

“I”

“am”

“AN ATHEIST!”