SAVE POINT 96
Loading A Lot At Once...Attempting To Save Emotions...100%
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Rosabella
It's a funny thing when you say you're ready for something; you don't always feel like it. Inside, where it matters, even if you've made a declaration on the outside. And that feeling—that tumbling, uncertain clutching—churns and flutters in the base of my stomach as I stare into the full-length mirror in the bathhouse. Mimi insisted on sectioning off the entire span of pools "for my safety" which I guess I should appreciate, but what I really appreciate is the solitude and the silence.
Just me. Here again with my thoughts.
...Or is that what's making me sick to my stomach?
The mirror stretches from the floor to ceiling on one of the side walls, adorned with swirling, gold edges. Its immense form reflects the glassy water of the pools, making the grand bathhouse room—with its arches overhead—seem to stretch forever. I suppose this mirror is supposed to be for admiring yourself and the tranquil surroundings but, when I look in it, an unsure girl stares back at me.
Blinking, brown, huge, doe eyes—my eyes.
And I'm probably supposed to see something in my eyes there; I look for it. Determination? Strength? Resolve? I search for those qualities, there, in my clenched jaw and the weary lines on my forehead but—
Well, I'm not sure what I see.
A girl who's survived hell and back and, somehow, is still standing—maybe not tall but certainly upright?
A girl who wonders what the next steps are? What's around the corner?
I guess whatever I see, at least I know her. At least, I'm proud of every rut of dirt creasing my neck where my body armor didn't cover and all the tangles in my hair, because I put them there. I fought my way out of death. At least I can finally, fully, look myself in the face without wanting to tear myself apart. It's more progress than I can verbalize. ...But, still, I turn away feeling strangely unsatisfied.
What am I supposed to do now? Here—at the Higher Place? Can I be this leader they're all looking for?
It's just me and the waters again as I ponder the dilemma in front of me. The Gamers want the tradition of the Game Maker position. The nerd swarm needs direction. And we have EmeraldCity and the bronze dragon she calls 'The Commandress' chained up below in a holding cell. How the heck am I supposed to manage all these moving parts? Can I do it?
Warm steam wafts over my skin as I sink my feet into the closest pool. The water is hot and soothing over the muscles of my calves as I wade in. I watch dirt spiral away from me while I dunk my shoulders, breathing deeply.
This is all too much right now; it's too much to process on an empty stomach after having slept on the ground or barely at all the last couple nights. I need to rest. I need to take this one step at a time. And, as I ponder this, running my fingers through the soothing, rippling water, I lean against the concrete side of the pool. And rest my back and eyes—closing them. Just for a minute...
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> The Grand Dragon is there; I stand next to the Grand Dragon with a span of stars and galaxies glinting and swirling navy, purple and bright white in front of us.
> As we look down on it. Together.
> The creature is enormous, its huge head hanging intrigued and low as it peers at its cosmos, leaning forward on enormous, shining haunches, covered with scales that glint a rainbow of purples, pinks and blues when the light hits it at different angles. The sight nearly takes my breath away.
> "I promised you I'd show you," the dragon whispers. And I hear the beast out loud this time, not only in my mind, though its words rumble through my bones like an earthquake.
> "This is a dream?" I ask it, startled. My voice echoes. I've never felt so small as I do standing here, in this moment, and, yet, it is different than the way Goran made me feel small. It's not that I feel insignificant—only that I'm suddenly very aware of how much bigger other things are, the depth and width. This has to be a dream—
> "This is reality, but not yours, mine. For I care for all my children as you will care for yours," the dragon purrs. And it uses a claw to zoom in on a particularly bright milky way. And, as the view intensifies and enlarges, I recognize...Earth.
> And, rotating nearly on top of it, a shadow—nearly transparent—but clearly there.
> "The Game world," the dragon states simply, pointing to the shadow, "A parallel dimension to your old one. I am guiding many people to you. They will come. You have nothing to fear. You were chosen for this."
> A strange warmth rolls over me at the dragon's words. And, it's strange, normally, I would cringe at such words or feel anxious but...but I can feel that the beast is right. I know it, suddenly and completely in my core. I was meant for this.
> "You created all these worlds?" I ask, feeling an enormous flood of awe despite myself.
> The beast nods patiently as I struggle to catch up, "Each with tender care and love. You might have heard, but dragons bore easily"—is the creature winking at me? It looks like a wink—"I think we all unintentionally create to fill that boredom."
> ...I pause for a minute, trying to soak in its last words. They feel...important in an indescribable way. They feel...weighty.
> I look up, and I start a little, finding the Grand Dragon's lizard-like eyes trained directly on me, blinking—its pupils slitting further.
> "You can do this, child," the creature says, its stare intense.
> And tears spring to my eyes, making my throat raw because... Those words were all I needed.
> They were really all I needed.
Awake.
I start awake to find Maude shaking my shoulder. I jump, beginning to thrash, but hot water just sloshes into my face. I recoil and sputter, realizing that I'm sitting up to my shoulders in liquid. Water. I must have drifted asleep in the pool...
Maude rolls her eyes, shifting in her squat next to me, "Good God, you were out. Good thing I came in here to check on you. Mimi didn't want to intrude, but I'd been over two hours. You could have drowned. Come on."
She offers me an arm and a towel. I take both, not feeling self-conscious as the girl helps me out of the water, thanks to my bikini. I'm pretty positive the blonde would wear something even more revealing to the beach. "Since you dismissed the maids, it's just us," the girl tells me, "Mimi and I are your guard team. Luckily, you didn't have a kid fit about the cooking staff, so there's a giant feast being prepared for your group in the main hall if you want to get dressed and wander over that way."
I nod. Maybe it's just because I'm still coming out of my dream, but the world feels foggy and new. Had it really been a dream or reality, like the Grand Dragon had said? If I tell the blonde girl, blinking quizzically at me, about it, she'll just think I'm even more certifiably insane.
"Right," I sputter, nodding and holding the towel around me even closer, "I'll do that."
Clothes.
Food.
Leading.
I can do this.
Because I think I've finally found the confidence to face all of them—all of this. I think I actually am finally ready.