Clark spent some unknown amount of time dead. Then, something strange occurred. One moment he was dead, and the next…he was alive again. To Clark, no time at all had passed between him taking his final breath and taking the first of his next life. He gasped with the sudden ease of breathing, falling to his hands and knees and holding his chest as he gratefully pulled in air once more. Just breathing had never been so lovely. He took a few moments to graciously inhale and exhale, his mind muddled by his last-second delusions and panic. As it cleared, he stood, looking around the room.

His eyes first landed on the strange figure just across the room from him, dressed in a gaudy jester costume…Clark looked past them, not wanting to engage with such a person just yet. He wasn’t in a hospital room like he expected…instead, it looked to just be some unused room. The room was barely large enough for both of them, about the size of his bedroom…wait. Clark looked around. It was his bedroom. The window, door…everything was in the same place. Except…it was empty. His bed wasn’t there, and the sunlight streaming through the window was no longer blocked by the blackout curtains Clark previously had over the window. The color of the paint was different, too.

After spending a little too long looking around, Clark had no choice but to confront the brightly-colored elephant in the room. He looked the figure up and down. Truly, they were dressed ridiculously. The person was wearing a massive, garish hat striped with red and yellow. The hat had a large conical point, and a thick brim around the circumference that flopped over the wearer’s face. The rest of their outfit was similarly tacky, with combinations of ceaselessly clashing colors and unnecessary ornaments.

Finally, the person spoke, asking,

“Are you done? You’ve been gawking for a while without saying anything. Can you not speak?” The person cocked their head, an androgynous voice emanating from under the hat.

Clark responded, “No I can talk...who are you? What happened to my stuff?”

The figure cocked their head, responding, “I am Craus, a god of trickery. It appears your stuff has been sold. You’ve been dead for a while, after all.”

Clark blinked. A god? What? And did they say he’d been dead?

“What? What do you mean, I’ve been dead for a while? Did I die before getting to a hospital?” Clark started for the door, ready to find his mother. The figure held a hand out in front of Clark. For some reason, he felt like he shouldn’t cross them. He’d hear them out first.

“Yes, you died there on the sidewalk. Your body wasn’t found for another few hours. It’s been some years since then…your mother moved out, sold the house, and moved to that small town you didn’t want to go to. What was it again? Bad internet?”

Clark cringed, looking down and muttering, “Yeah.”

“Well, she’s gone now! Sold off all your stuff and went away!”

Clark’s eyes began to sting again, “Why? Why…wait, years?” Clark looked down at himself, looking for signs of decay. There were none. In fact, he was still in the same outfit, with the dried bloodstain and hole in the shirt. He asked slowly, “How am I alive?”

The figure - Craus giggled, holding a gloved hand up to their face, “I revived you, dummy! I was getting to that, but you humans always have so many questions. Sorry for taking so long, I forgot to do it earlier! Oh well, it works better this way!”

Clark stopped dead. Was this person serious? Was he just being lied to? Maybe they somehow got into his house and brought him too…no, there’s no way they’d be able to move everything out. And the new paint…was completely dry. He couldn’t smell it at all. Was he really resurrected by this person? He looked them up and down again. They did seem…otherworldly, in some way.

“Why…did you bring me back?” Clark asked carefully, turning to face Craus in full.

“Well, it was kind of my bad that you died in the first place! I just wanted to give you a scare to add onto your tragedy, but I mistimed it!” Craus put their head to their shoulder, “Oops!”

Clark’s jaw dropped. Oops?

“Are you serious?”

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“Yep! I was going to resurrect you right away, but I got distracted!”

“With what? What was more important than bringing me back?”

“Oh, I was laughing! That whole day…actually, that whole life was such a trip! I can’t believe it worked out so well! You were so miserable! And the look on your face when you saw the manager…I’ll never get over it!” Craus fell into a giggling fit, holding their stomach as they shrieked with laughter. Clark dropped his head, shaking for a moment, before shouting, “Stop! Just…stop for a second.” Clark tried to process everything up to this point. He opened his mouth, looking up to speak. His words caught in his throat.

He could see part of Craus’ face. There was a wicked…inhuman smile. That was the only way to describe the face-spanning grin, unnaturally wide. Clark shuddered at the sight. That cemented it for Clark. This person…creature, entity, god, whatever… it didn’t care for him in the slightest. Even his uncomfortable shifting seemed to drive the smile wider. Fuck…this was bad. Were they really responsible for all of that stuff happening? How would it even happen?

“So…can I go now? Even if my mother is far, I still want to find her…I have a lot of things to say to her. I’ll find my way to her,” Clark started for the door again, trying to pass the person, “Thank you for-”

Craus’ hand extended again. Clark wasn’t allowed to leave. Worriedly, he stepped back to where he awoke, shifting on his feet.

“Not so fast,” the god commented, “You were dead as a rock. If I had got you back up right away, you’d be fine, but I can’t just let a guy who was dead for years walk free!” The god shook their head.

Clark swallowed, “So are you going to kill me again?”

The figure froze, before shaking. Clark was worried they offended them. “What? I didn’t mean to offend you-”

Clark was cut off by the raucous laughter that erupted from the veiled character. They bent all the way over, slapping their knees as they attempted to regain control over themselves.

“Ooh…” Craus wheezed, “Oh my…that’s…so funny. No, I’m not going to kill you,” they waved their hand dismissively at Clark, “But your face…oh man.” They eventually righted themselves, clearing their throat, “No, you can’t walk in this world anymore. I’ll let you choose…you can be reincarnated in this world…or I’ll bring you someplace else. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a little compensation for my oopsies either way. If you stay here, you’ll be born into some rich family…I’ll twist fate so you have a good life. Or…I can bring you to another world!”

Clark blinked again, “What? Another world? Like…a fantasy one?”

The figure cocked their head, “Sure! There are some like that! I’ll even put you in one of the ones that’ll be familiar to you! Game-like stats and everything! You’ll love it!”

Clark thought for a moment, before asking, “If I am reincarnated here…do I keep my memories?”

“Nope!”

“I see…then, I’ll take the other world!”

“...That was fast! Don’t you wanna think about it a little more? Who knows, it could be some terrible world of medieval horror.”

Clark thought for a moment, before shaking his head, “No, I’m sure.” In reality, he couldn’t be more excited. Wasn’t this kind of like an Isekai, now? He had hoped something like this would happen. His heart still ached for his mother, but it seemed like she was over him. That was…for the best. He tried to stop thinking about it, instead just focusing on the future ahead of him. He’d have some divine gift, grow super quickly, and impress people with his power.

Power…yeah, didn’t he always want that? Clark grinned, lost in fantasies for a moment. Craus called him back to reality, “Hey. You know you aren’t going to get any magical powers, right? You’re just going to be in another world.”

Clark’s heart sunk.

“Really?” He asked weakly.

Craus nodded, “Yep!”

Clark opened his mouth, but closed it. Compared to the alternative of dying…this was better. Even if it was reincarnation, Clark didn’t want to lose himself…his memories. As shitty as his life was, it was what made him Clark…even the pathetic moments and shame. He thought for a moment, before nodding, “Alright. When do I go?”

Craus cocked their head, “Now!”

“Huh?”

“Seeya!”

Clark began to feel a terrible pulling from within their chest. It was irresistible. As they began to be pulled backwards, they heard the last bit from Craus, “By the way, just think about opening the menu to do it! That’s all! Good luck! Bye-bye!”

Clark fell backwards through a rift into eternal darkness. \

Craus coughed lightly. That human was so interesting. In reality, Craus had no intention of sending Clark to die. In fact…he’d have all the power he’d ever want and more…maybe, too much. Craus giggled to themselves, imagining the corruption of the pure and foolish soul of the boy. They walked up to the open rift, reaching into one of the outfit’s pockets to retrieve a small handheld device. They looked at their own appearance with a bit of disgust. It wasn’t what they’d normally wear, but they had to sell the story of being a trickster god. They held the device up to the portal, and flicked it through. The Telstrum remote.

Craus sighed, relaxed now that their task was complete. Then, their smile grew under the hat again. The Telstrum would finally be able to be used for its intended purpose…world domination. And what a hungry champion Craus had chosen.

Craus - the god of conquest - bowed to the portal. With this, it had begun.

The final act.