The Resonance meditation technique isn't anything amazing. Everyone uses it, and it's not something you need to learn.

The Magus Soul in your body isn't a sphere in your body, or even in something like your sea of mind like many novels use.

It is a thin string-like muscle that has nine protuberances and connects the forehead, thorax, navel, both hands, both knees, and both feet. It is a voluntary muscle that can vibrate at will, and through vibrating it, it can resonate with the natural frequency of the mana in the planet, making the mana from outside the body transfer energy to the Magus Soul and making its own mana stronger.

When a spell-caster uses his mana, it gets depleted and can be restored by using the Resonance meditation technique.

The more the Magus Soul vibrates while full, the more Mana Essence is generated, making it so the upper limit of energy increases. That is how the spell-casters increase their levels.

The grade of the Magus Soul dictates how much it can handle in its peak potential, which is why talent is something so crucial. It is also how nobles can almost surely have kids with a Magus soul with a grade around their own. It can be inherited through the genes, which is why nobles usually marry other nobles of equal power as well.

I started to vibrate my own Magus Soul and instantly felt something tickling my entire body. It was a funny sensation and gave me a little pleasure.

I couldn't help but compare it to the thing every man does alone behind four walls when they need to relieve some stress, it was pretty much like that but across my entire body.

After entering the meditative state, I thought:

...

I wish to learn the secrets of death…

...

If I wasn't focused, I would cringe only by thinking that. It was something only a third-rate necromancer villain would say proudly.

I decided to learn necromancy since I doubt that someone that never fought would be able to beat even the weakest demon in combat.

After thinking that, I felt as if my body stopped existing for a moment, before starting to feel it again.

Seeing that the vibrations had stopped, and for some reason, I couldn't start them again after trying a few times, I decided to open my eyes.

…

‘Am I dead?’

Was the first thing I thought after opening my eyes and seeing nothing but complete darkness.

I wasn't in my cross-legged position anymore, instead, I was floating.

Obviously, I started panicking.

"Could It be that I am so pathetic I died instantly?"

While I was starting to have a mental breakdown, even to the point of crying with snot running down my nose, a white light appeared in front of me.

It was a rectangular square of light, and it looked like a television.

Seeing that, I felt relieved. That probably has something to do with the trial and I didn't die yet.

Calming down again, I returned to my usual poker-face, the rectangle started to get brighter and brighter until I was completely blinded by it.

That blindness only lasted for a second, and I opened my eyes...

...

I was back on my parent's house, where I lived before going to college somewhere else.

"What the hell is happening..."

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I touched my body to check if I wasn't dreaming, and was able to feel everything normally, even when I pinched myself on the face.

Feeling excited I jumped from the couch, but instead of landing on the ground immediately after, I stayed in the air for a second before falling face-first on the rug.

"Ouch! What the hell?!" I exclaimed after feeling the pain all over my face.

When I put my hands on the ground to get up, I noticed that they were much smaller than they should be.

Noticing that, I touched my face and my skin was smoother, way smoother even compared to my new non-oily skin.

My nose and mouth were also much smaller… Everything was smaller.

"I am a kid again… Crap, this is still the trial!"

As I realized that, I got up from the ground and looked around warily.

While I tried to look around to see if there was a monster or something like that, I heard a voice.

"Little bean! The popcorn is ready." Said the voice, a female voice.

I looked at the source of the sound… It was my mother coming out of the kitchen, with a bowl of popcorn.

She was much younger, back to her youthful self. With her big breasts, round bottom, black hair and…

‘Damn you, Kyle! That's your mother!’

Removing those devilish thoughts from my mind, I looked at her with my usual poker-face and sat down on the couch again.

"Thanks, Mom…" I said, a tinge of sadness and caution in my voice.

My mom smiled and sat next to me, putting the bowl of popcorn between us.

"Okay, let's start the movie." She said, still smiling.

She took the remote control that was really outdated and for an equally outdated DVD player.

The player turned on and after the title menu appeared, which gave me a heavy sense of nostalgia, she started the movie.

I remembered that movie. It was the one with the spartan warriors against the Persians, I really liked that movie, but only watched it once.

…

The movie continued as I remembered, and I was interested in it, and with the sense of nostalgia, I got even more interested and didn't turn my eyes away from the screen.

During the movie, I didn't forget about the trial. But since everything was normal and nothing happened, I couldn't do anything about it.

The only idea I had was to kill my mother, but even if this is a trial, I would never kill my mother!

So, all I could do was keep watching the movie.

Since I missed my mother very much, I put my head on her thighs while I watched. If I didn't control myself, I would have cried right there and then.

When I did that, my mother was startled for a few moments, since I was never someone that liked physical contact and rarely hugged her, even as a Kid.

After that final moment when they showed the corpse of the Spartan King, I felt darkness flooding my vision again…

I lost all feeling on my body for a moment, and when I opened my eyes again, I was back to my body.

I felt that my Magus Soul was being encroached by some weird energy, which separated from it before stabilizing.

Soon after recovering my consciousness, knowledge flooded my mind, even the meaning of the trial was included in the bundle of knowledge.

It seems like the trial's objective was to remember the moment where I saw the most deaths in my life, and not feel fear or happiness or hatred or disgust towards the corpses, only interest.

The movie had a lot of dead bodies, but it was just a movie. It seems that it counted even still.

"Congratulation Kyle. You are a Dread Lord now."

I looked to my side and saw Sixth, he was standing by my side like always.

I had just achieved something that should have been hard and dangerous, something only one out of ten thousand people in this world could achieve…

…

But I didn't feel any happiness.

I could only remember the warmth of my mother's embrace that I felt mere moments ago. I only felt longing.

Seeing my lost face, Sixth shook his head and sighed.

Surprisingly, he took a step forward and leaned towards me.

He wrapped his arms around my body, hugging me as he patted my head like a father.

"It's okay… Even Gods cry, there's no way a mortal wouldn't. Let it all out." He said in a soothing voice…

This was a side of him I never saw before, he looked like a father instead of a sadist asshole.

Feeling his hug, I somehow saw the shadow of my own father which I’ve never met.

Seeing even a god was emotional, I could do nothing to keep my emotions at bay. Pressing my eyes on his shoulder, I let out a wail and cried…

That was the first time, when somehow, in this foreign world where I had no family nor anyone I knew…

That I didn't feel alone.

...

As I hugged this little mortal ant, I asked myself why I had done so.

Empathy? That shouldn't be it.

I knew that feeling, of being out of place and alone in the world. Being misplaced by a mere coincidence, coming into being for no reason...

But I've seen other beings that are the same as me, even though not the same circumstance, the feelings aren't too different, nonetheless.

Why then, did I care little for those beings, but had a different reaction for this random human?

I wished for an answer...

…

But no answer came.

Why didn't I receive an answer? GM blocked it for some reason? No, that wasn't it...

How can I not receive an answer?

This situation... Is truly curious.