Many saw my work as a crime against humanity, but I believed that they were threatened by the advanced change my work would bring to the current world.

One night. I found my home set on fire and my family reported on the news to have been killed by me.

Where was I when this happened?

I was in an isolated encampment. It was a prison, but I had the privileges like any other person only that my captors did not want me to return to human society.

They made certain to dismantle my businesses and stain my reputation and name. I had no home to return to.

My kidnappers did not care about my wealth. They wanted control over my work and they made sure to toture me to get it. In the end, I broke.

And that is when they did not need me anymore. I was deported and I found asylum, another prison in a foreign nation. Although I was a known criminal by now. The kinslayer, Meris.

I could not even visit where my family were buried. I would be apprehended if I were to step foot on nation soil. I could not contact any of the people I knew as I did not know if they were against me.

So. The choice was to live in asylum or wait until another kidnapper came to assassinate me.

There was no future for me. So, I thought about ending my life.

...

So I left my asylum and forged a fake passport and left on the designated date and arrived at an airport.

Before I got onto the plane. Law enforcements surrounded the terminal and that was when they saw me.

I knew I was going to be sent to jail or maybe I would be taken to somewhere else.

I would have no freedom no matter where I went.

So I grabbed someone beside me. They will not fly the plane and I did not plan for any exits. I knew my plan would not work and I wanted to die here.

How would I do that?

I... attacked the man. I punched him over and over again. I did it with the intent that they would open fire on me and so we fell to the floor. I strangled him and suffocated the life out of him. In that moment I just remembered the way

He had looked at me. His eyes pleading for me to stop and I slowly let go...and then a loud sound.

Bang!

I remember falling onto something and the pain from the back of my shoulder and then I could not see anything, but I heard sounds of people crying. The sound of law enforces calling for a medic and trying to find a response from me.

The irony of this life and how the very people who shot at me wanted to heal me and then I couldn’t hear anymore.

I thought that if I died. That I could see my family again, but I could only think back on what I had done to that person.

I had no intentions of hurting him then, but the desperation and anger it made me do it.

And I don’t feel what I did was wrong. I would do it again, as I knew the person who had killed my family knew what they were doing.

I knew that this was how I was going to die.

…

I just made sure it happened.

...

That was when I woke up.

. There were trees all around me and sunlight that reflected from the cracks of the leaves blinded my eyes.

I tasted iron in my mouth and my body felt very heavy and weak.

I was cold and did not feel my legs.

The grass tickled against my fingers. And something smelt like it was burning from somewhere near me.

I crawled into the woods.

It hurt as the ground pressed against my arms.

…

I made it to where the smell was and it made me cringe and then I felt scared.

Strange looking men laid still in between the long grass and I saw red and some were without there heads and others their limbs marked the long grass.

My teeth trembled at the scene and then I slowly regained control of feeling in my legs.

When I stood up. Everything felt taller than I remembered. My skin felt flaky and I smelt like fire.

“ Young man.”

I looked towards the voice. It came from someone wearing a strange red hat. He wore a long white coat.

One look at the people behind him made me afraid.

I slowly moved back. I did not know who they were, but they reminded me of the people who kidnapped me.

They felt just like them.

“...”

“ Lord hokage his eyes.” I heard one of them say and then I reached to clear my eye and I saw blood on my hands, and then I remembered that I was alive again.

…

They took me away from that place, but did not speak of what had happened. I followed the man as he took my hand and walked me towards a person who wore a mask.

She reached out her hand and I saw a soft green glow.

…

I saw my skin begin to change and then she reached to the my ankles with that green light.

I could move my legs again.

“ Thank you.” I said, I heard an unfamiliar voice escape from me. She nodded her head and I did not speak again.

I had a feeling that something was wrong. I was used to being moved around.

So, this did not feel like anything unfamiliar.

It was only that these people were nicer than I thought they would have been.

…

I was taken to a place. A small apartment and I was told that this place was my new home by a masked figure in black. The moment I stood at the door. The person vanished.

I walked in and there was a single bed clinging onto the right wall, a desk and also a drawer.

I walked beside the bed and sat down without knowing what to do with my life.

I could not help, but think them. My family.

Just remembering only made me feel hate. I couldn’t remember their faces or their names. I only remembered that I once had a family and that they meant alot to me.

…

The days passed and I spent my time in my room. The only times I left was when I was to attend the meetings with the Anbu. It was what they called the Masked men. They asked questions I did not know anything about.

They asked about what I remembered from that night. They asked about many things, but like I had told them; I don’t know.

And then I would return to my room and simply lie down on my bed remembering my past life. I would remember hearing voices when inside one of my memories.

Me with my family around a dinner table celebrating someone's birthday and then when I blink. The lights are off and I am alone in a container sitting on the wooden floor.

And I would stay there until finally, I am able to force myself awake.

…

I walked towards the place where I am supposed to meet one of the Anbu. This was meant to be my final meeting before I could enter the Ninja academy.

Over the course of 3 months. I often would receive strange looks from the villagers or people in town. Some would look at me and I would look away, but often they stared.

I believe they seemed like nice people, but I did not trust them and I was conscious of my interactions with the Anbu.

They wanted to know and expected me to tell me, but they were nice enough to me and treated me to delicious meals after our meetings.

I liked that I had a lot more freedom and that I felt like a normal person.

Although I still could not bring myself to trust them despite their kind intentions.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I think… It would have been alot better if I did not know as much I did.

Maybe I would find moments like this beautiful.

“ Meris? You don’t like the food?.”

I loved it.

“ This is your last day. Then you don’t need to worry about always meeting people

Like me.” She scooped out a portion of broth and noodles from my dish and ate it.

“ Delicious~”

I reached out and pulled my bowl in and began to eat.

Today was supposed to be my last day. It felt like probation. It was supposed to be longer, but they thought that I was doing well despite what had happened to me.

To them. I did not show any effects of being traumatized by the incident that had happened. I heard that almost everyone had died that day. They were...murdered.

I had a feeling that they wanted to know what had happened that night, but since I do not hold any memories of the event. They settled on setting me up with my own home.

Yet I did nothing to get these things. I had a feeling that these gifts were something they wanted from. Something I did not know about.

She stopped stirring her drink and raised her head.

“ Have you… been having headaches since the last time we met.”

…

“ Meris?”

“ Yes?” I responded absently. Not willing to go through this conversation again.

“ Have you been seeing things?”

I felt a burn within my chest when I drank my flavored milk.

“ Seeing things? What do you mean?” She wanted to know if I have seen something unusual. The fact that I could see things that are far away or how I knew what someone was saying when they were far away from me.

Or maybe the fact that I could see everything happened around me as if they had been slowed in time.

I didn’t want to answer.

…

Not after what I saw happened to those people.

“ Meris…”

I looked up.

She pointed to her mask.

“ Do you know what it means to wear this?”

“ You want to hide your identity.”

“ Yes, but we too hold secrets we don’t want others to know about.”

She reached out and held my hand.

“ We only wish to protect our village. We swore to protect our people. We are not here to hurt you Meris.”

…

That’s what the soldiers told me, Right before they took me from my home and killed them.

“ I’m sorry.” She spoke softly.

She let go of my hand. I reached out and wiped my eyes. It was bleeding again.

My eyes… I hid my face and I felt the stare from everyone inside the room.

“ Can we leave please.”

“ I don’t want to be here.”

I felt afraid and unsafe whenever this happened.

“ Yes.”

I felt her grab my arm and in the next moment. We were outside the door of my apartment.

…

I looked back to see her figure. I remembered the moment we first met. She healed my wounds and my bruised feet.

Over the course of the months. I had a feeling that she had always been watching over me.

“ Hey.” I called out to her.

I could not see her expression behind the mask, but I did the only thing I could so I showed her what she wanted to know.

I thought of showing her. It was strange as I could not do it without remembering bad things.

...then I felt something crawl into my eyes. The world slowed down and faded into a contrast of black and grey.

She was frozen, but I couldn’t hold it for more than 2 seconds.

I saw things… in the black patches of my vision. They looked like people harming other people.

It made my heart stop. Then I forced myself to move and I shut my eyes to the pain.

“... You could always find a better way to hide your identity, a mask won’t cover your blonde hair.” I said, before I ran into my room and closed the door.

“ Meris.” I leaned my head against the door. I could hear her standing there.

“ I will see you tomorrow.”

Then she left.

...

At around sunset I went into town.

Staying inside my room only made me remember a lot. I wandered the night markets and saw many people entering food stores.

I thought that I could perhaps work in one of the stores. A way I could distract myself. I don’t want to depend on Anbu, but money wasn’t something I was interested in now.

I didn’t have an idea of where I wanted to be yet.

So, I went back to the place this morning.

Ichiraku Ramen.

It was a small store. I thought that the only reason we came here was because the prices were cheap for her.

I wasn’t much of a fan of the asian cuisine. I did enjoy pho, but I never had ramen, only boiled 2 minute noodles I mixed with shredded pieces of bbq steak.

When I entered the store. It looked quite busy. There was a boy on the counter. Blonde hair and the old man wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

I stepped forward nervously at the fear they would reject me.

I only wanted to work… The least I would say to get to a job was to ask for no money and that I would like to work here for work experience.

I did not move.

“ Hello, Can I help you?” It was almost strange. I had been here for the past months and yet I felt the most nervous now.

She always has a calming smile when she greets someone. Nothing has changed and yet.

“...” I just looked at her.

“ C-can.”

I took a deep breath.

“ One more bowl!” A sudden shout from beside me. I looked towards the voice. This wasn’t the first time I had seen him. I had known that he always ate a lot.

What amazed me was the amount he consumed. Plates upon plates of ramen. For a moment I imagined the amount off dishes I would have to clean each time he would arrive here.

He was a frequent customer.

I did not want to be a dish cleaner.

…

“ Ah. One moment please.” The girl politely told me as she went behind and began making another set of dishes for the gluttonous boy.

I sat down beside him and I reached out towards my seat.

…

‘ Papa, Look at me!”

‘ I’m going to eat all of this really good food and I am going to grow up to be very strong!’

‘ Eat slowly Meris.’

“ Hey. Are you alright?”

I looked towards the boy. He stared right to me.

“ Wow, Your eyes are pretty.” I tore my eyes away from him and blinked until I could no longer hear the voices.

I then looked back at him and simply smiled. He looked bashful at me and I think I made him uncomfortable.

I reached out and touched his hand and I forced a smile.

“ Thank you.” I said. Although it was mostly because he made me remember something good.

And then he started to tear up. I wasn’t sure for the reason he acted off, but he went on to eat his meal. He did not appear to be sad.

Then the girl looked at me and she smiled.

“ Don’t mind him.”

“ This is rare for him to open up to others on his own.”

“ Why?” I asked.

She looked as if she found it hard to explain the reason. And she laughed mischievously

.” Well..” She looked at the boy as if she were trying to think about a very important subject.

“ One.” She counts on her hand.

Then gives me a look.

“ He is very mischievous.”

“ Two.”

She smiles.

“ One day he is going to be the greatest hokage.”

The moment she said that. I heard sobbing by my side. Hokage I was sure I heard of that name from before.

“ That old man?” I asked.

“ Not an oldman.”

“ The greatest ninja of our village.” She replied.

This boy wanted to be just like him? I looked at the boy. He was thin and different. Although I did not understand the meaning of being a hokage. I understood what it was like being in front of that person.

‘ I’m going to take you to your new home now.’

‘ What is your name boy?’

‘ My name… is Meris sir.’

‘ Meris?’

‘ My name is…’

“ You are going to protect everyone?” I said. The boy looked up to me when I said that. I could see the look in his eyes. That desperation I felt.

‘...’ It reminded me of that man. The will to live huh.

“ Okay.” I said and reached out to the menu.

“ Can I order one Ichirakui Ramen please? Beef broth.”

“ Coming right up!”

Then I was left alone with the boy. I did not hold any faith in his dream or goal or whatever future he desired. It did not matter to me, but I did not want him to lose faith as I have seen many people give up on something just because no-one believed in them.

‘ Meris, You and I, are meant to be together.’

‘We are going to rule the entire world!’

‘ I believe that you will choose the right decision, Meris.’

‘ Meris!’

‘ Bang’

‘ Believe… Don’t give up…’

‘ Don’t… lose hope.’

“...” I stared at the table and saw the reflection facing back at me.

To clear the awkward silence. I raised my voice.

“ A man told me once.”

Before he was killed.

“ He said.”

“ When no-one believes in you. There will always be one person left who will.”

“ You.” I pointed to him.

“ Don’t give up.”

‘ Because one day. Others will soon believe in you…’

“ You will find someone who will believe in you and your dream will be their dream.”

Did I really believe that? After what I know. No, I did not believe it, but it did not mean that I had to shift my perspective onto someone else.

It is far better to offer someone hope than to offer them your failures.

“...”

“ D-do you really think so?”

I thought I heard excitement from his voice. I reached out and broke the wooden chopsticks in two.

I thought about what I should say, but something made me think that my own words did not hold any weight. So I tried to remember what my friend would have told me if he were here.

‘ Look, I don’t have faith in anything, but if there is one thing I consider to have belief in. It’s the future I desperately desire, because without it. I’d rather not exist in this world any longer.’

‘ I’d rather fight for something hopeless than to live my life just like every other miserable human in this cold city.’

I repeated.

“ I don’t have faith in anything, but if there is one thing I really believe in.”

“ It’s the future I desperately desire. Without it, I’d rather…”

“ I’d rather not be alive today.”

I saw my meal sitting on the counter. I reached out and began to eat my food. Something about the atmosphere did not feel right and I no longer desired to talk anymore.

I ate my meal silently where I was. Hope that no-one noticed how detached I felt.

I felt a dark feeling within me that tempted me to remember everything.

It so happened that eating the bowl of noodles distracted me from thinking too much.

“ More ramen!”

“ Here you go boy.”

While the boy beside me kept ordering a bowl after another. I simply wandered about the existence of my current reality and how hard it was for me to adapt to the cruel nature of this life.

Although I had doubts that this was not any different from my own.

" Naruto, are you ready for tomorrow?"

" You better believe it! It will be the first step till I finally become a real ninja!"

When I heard them talk about tomorrow I had a feeling what they were talking about. It did not sit well with me that tomorrow was in fact the day I would have to meet the Anbu again.

The conversation had nothing to do with me and I paid my meal with the money I had saved up for the whole 3 months. Just enough change to pay for the entire bowl.

I left the store and only did I remember finding a job. I am not in a hurry now, but cleaning dishes is not an occupation I was desperate to get into.

It was either something simple like cooking food in the night market or... getting back into my previous occupation.