‘Ouch’

Irena felt a prickle on the elf – holding hand. The terrified warrior stabbed her in her palm with what appeared to be a dagger.

“Let’s see you resist the green mortuary frog poison, man eater!”

The next words that came from her lips were incredibly immature, but it’s not like anyone could hold them back.

“I am not a man eater, for I consume only women, elderly and children, buahahaha!”

She felt another prickle, this time on her wrist.

“Alright, I had that one coming, but I can’t have you get all tired before you answer my questions.”

She took the dagger away from the cutesy little warrior.

“Don’t wiggle, you’ll just hurt yourself.”

The elf paid no heed to her words, and continued to jerk around, its legs flopping around. Irena simply waited for him to tire out, which happened fairly quickly.

“You calmed down yet?”

No response.

“Good. Let’s get your legs fixed up.”

Irena broke off some twigs, and immobilized broken limbs of a warrior, using strands of her hair to tie it up.

(Everyone sheds hair on a regular basis, and she is no exception. Using it for something productive is only natural.)

“Why would you tie my legs up? They are broken, I can’t run away anyway.” The elf asked, radiating the confused calmness of someone resigned to their fate.

“Am I talking too quietly after all? I didn’t want to startle you, but it seems you have worse hearing than I thought. I said: Let’s get your legs fixed up.”

“I heard that. But I don’t see how that would benefit you?”

“Well, it would be inconvenient to always carry you in my pocket. I couldn’t bend down if I did that, You are at least as long as my foot.”

“Am I to be an emergency snack?”

“No, you are coming with me for your knowledge, and because you are tiny.”

“I didn’t know giants kept pets.”

“If that’s what you want to call yourself, fine. But I prefer ‘portable temporary companion’, PTC for shorts.”

“Temporary? So you do plan to get rid of me?”

“I guess I could drop you off somewhere? Why, do you miss your folks?” This one was risky. If the Elf turned out to have a tragic backstory, Irena would be stuck trying to console a depressed warrior. Judging by his willingness to throw away his life, this little one could maybe even catch some suicidal tendencies.

Instead, the elf started to heat up again.

“I’m not stupid enough to fall for that. I guess you are smarter than a regular giant, but that’s not enough to convince me to lead you to the village I had devoted myself to protecting since I was born!”

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“So you live in a village, huh?” Irena could feel herself growing closer to the little guy. He even told her something about his birthplace!

“No matter! The green mortuary frog poisons’ effects will kick in shortly, and even if you don’t die, you will be in no state to go against our archers, however few might’ve been left after the last attack!”

“Oooh, sounds like your village is in trouble, no? Care to tell me more?”

The warrior shut his mouth, realizing he just let an incredibly important piece of strategic intelligence slip past his lips.

“Okay, if you don’t want to talk about that, let’s talk about something else, okay? Come to think of it, what’s your name? I don’t think we introduced ourselves to each other. Mine is Irena. Irena Bestla.”

“Giant with a last name? Are you a part of a tribe?”

The elf stiffened in fear, leading Irena to a conclusion that an entire tribe of giants is a menace. She decided to press further.

“What if I am?”

Only her acute sense of hearing allowed her to hear him muttering something about slipping away and warning his people.

“Just kidding, I’ve never even seen another giant.”

“Bullshit!”

“Think what you will. But, tell me… Can you use [Identify]?”

The little one made a face like a person who entered a classroom only to remember that he forgot to change from his anime waifu pajamas.

“You… A ranger?”

“Aye. With excellent tracking skill. By the way, you aren’t even close to being scentless. I don’t know if your village has ways of offsetting skills such as mine, but judging from the fact that you are being attacked by something, I’d say it doesn’t have nearly enough.”

“What do you want?”

“I told you. Information, and, if possible, peace. I don’t have any reason to go around killing adorable creatures such as yourself. Also, I want to buy cooking ingredients and tools. I don’t have money yet, but I’m pretty sure I could go and earn some?”

“Cooking… ingredients?”

“Well, yeah. Salt, pepper, veggies and such… I don’t even have any wheat! And that’s not even the beginning of my problems. Pickles, garlic, allspice, marjoram… All this brilliant pork running around, and I can’t even cook it with cabbage!”

The elven warrior stared at Irena like a calf at a freshly painted barn. He seemed to have reached a decision.

“We are in the vicinity of my village. As long as you go further in this direction, our scouts will intercept you. Negotiate then, with our elders.”

“Oh, have you wawmed up to me alweady?” Irena really couldn’t stop herself from cooing.

“No. But there is no other choice. If you really come in peace, then negotiations are better than killing each other.”

“Be honest here, you want me to help your village as a mercenary?”

“Would you be open for the suggestion?”

“Depends, who’s the enemy?”

“It’s the lesser water dragon. Frankly, we alone can barely reduce casualties. It’s strong, and its scales are nearly impossible to pierce with arrows. Not that it does anything if they do go through. All minor flesh wounds can do is enrage it.”

“Sounds tough. How did your village survive until now?”

“We piss it off to lure it away. It was my turn tonight, and as you can see, my state leaves a lot to be desired.”

Well, all of that was nearly irrelevant to Irena anyway. There were more important things.

“Final question. Is it tasty?”

The elven warrior looked flabbergasted.

“It might be? It’s definitely huge and fat. As for the taste, I’d imagine it can’t be bad, with that amount of magic.”

“Oh, can it use magic?”

“If it could, we wouldn’t even be talking right now. Its flesh is held by mana, obviously. And so is yours, and any other giant’s.”

Oh. That would explain why all those big ass creatures weren’t collapsing under their own weight. Previously Irena thought she was normal sized, with everything else being small, but the new information provided her with a new perspective as well.

Cool. But she’d heard something even cooler.

“Big, fat, and possibly tasty? Can I get some assistance with cooking it? Do you people have salt? What about veggies? Also, a pot of suitable size would be nice. Or a wok.”

“You want to eat it?”

“I sure do, why? But don’t worry, I can share food.”

”It’s a B rank monster, for heaven’s sake! Bigger than you, probably!” The elf shot his mouth suddenly looking more nervous than before. “Oh, sorry. I know you’re big, but…”

“Oh, so it’s bigger than me? Cool, let’s eat it together then!”

The elf kept silent for a moment.

“You know, normally, giants would get offended by the mention of something being bigger than them, and wouldn’t consider something they admitted to be 'big' as prey.”

“I’m weird then, cool. The bigger the prey, the less running around, and more eating. I’m curious about the taste, lead me to your elders!”

Irena checked her resistances. She’d hoped for a level or two in poison resistance, but the ‘Green mortuary frog poison', or whatever, didn’t even register. She decided to only bring it up during negotiations.

“Alright, come.”