What does it mean to mourn?

For most people, that would be a hard question to answer. Each individual had their own interpretation of such a term and experience. Those who have experienced mourning in their lives would have a different perspective compared to those who have not.

Naturally, the act of mourning was a product of human evolution, of the emotional parts of our brain being hard-wired to grieve the loss of loved ones. It was a way to further strengthen our bonds during hard times, so that we may survive the next day stronger than ever.

Indeed, those who have lost someone could be deemed as such. They were strong, for they had experienced an event that had truly harmed them.

Emotions were always weaker, more vulnerable, than the body. They were always more prone to pain, to being hurt, to being exposed. Even those that could be considered as stoic had moments of vulnerability, and could feel emotions welling up inside them. They just didn't show it.

But when it came to mourning, grieving alone…why could such a thing even occur under such definition?

How could a person decide to isolate themselves, in order to lessen the pain of loss? Was it not said that mourning was a way to strengthen our bond, with those that still remain with us?

“Why…”

She was stupid for acting like that, or at least, she was too slow to realise. Why did she put that burden of grief upon herself? Why didn't she speak out in order to lighten her isolation? It was idiotic of her, for it took all year for her to decide that wasn't the right choice.

It took the words that both Adrian and Cecilia said, how her decision was weird, how she was stupid to do this, to realise that she was in the wrong.

She stiffened her jaw, her gaze lowered, her eyes self-critical. The grip upon her staff tightened, to the point that her own hand was shaking from the sheer frustration she had experienced.

She wanted to be upset about this. She wanted to hate this. Not towards anyone in particular, but to herself.

“Helena wouldn't have wanted this…”

Helena was the kind of person that would berate her of this, telling her how she had all her friends and family to talk to, whenever she experienced any sort of loss in her life. She was that aggressively kind towards her, or perhaps she was just that simple of a person. She never mulled over the things that had an obvious solution.

And this problem of loss, of grief, had an obvious solution. In hindsight, it felt so simple to her, Marilyn found it odd that she didn't think of it earlier on.

Therefore…

“Why didn't I do it sooner?”

Perhaps she was too lost in grief, in her darkness, the one that only she knew of. She was so struck by bewilderment, frustration, loss, that she refused to let anyone share her suffering.

As in that moment, when her father questioned Helena's existence, she felt hesitant to tell anyone about her. She blamed herself for losing Helena. Not the world that took her away, nor the Rabbit for not telling her, nor anyone else. Just herself.

It took an entire year for her to limit that mindset, for that was how idiotic she was. That was how she thought of it right now.

Her eyes then gazed upon the five people she had known in her recent life, those friends of hers. Multiple times did they try to bring her out of the darkness, yet somehow she kept refusing. Only now did she decide to not do so.

“...”

They were now departing for their first Veil, in the morning of the next day, after their stay in Adrian's home. The Roseshire Train Station from this point onwards would bring them to the closest town to the Veil, where they then shall journey on ahead to clear it by foot.

She regretted distancing herself from those five people—all of whom had tried to help her in their own ways.

Adrian, who had made a promise with her a year ago that they would support each other. Cecilia, who tried time and again to get her to open up; even when she failed, she still waited patiently. Vincent, whose frustration with her silence had only grown over time. Eldryn, who had prayed for her countless times. And Elysia, who stayed true to herself, always drawing Marilyn into the group’s banter and jokes, making sure she still felt included.

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Then…Marilyn had realised something.

Mourning alone wasn’t wrong in itself; people grieved in countless ways, each shaped by their own experiences and needs. But in her case, withdrawing from everyone hadn’t truly lessened the weight of her sorrow. Instead, it had left her stranded, lost in a silence that only deepened her isolation.

She could feel now, more clearly than ever, how that isolation had become a burden in itself—one she hadn’t needed to carry alone. Perhaps mourning would always carry pain, but that pain didn’t have to be a solitary thing. Her friends had been there all along, ready to share even this grief, to lighten the load she had stubbornly held onto.

They wanted her to be happy, despite the pain of loss.

They wanted her to be herself again, despite knowing that something changed within her.

They wanted to understand, despite not yet knowing the gravity of it all.

They had helped in their own ways. They had reached out in their ways. And despite being left in the shadows with no answer, despite the frustrations, they were there for her still.

Those ways of theirs were so unbelievably simple, only one was somewhat dramatic. A traditional story of sorts wouldn't have such small things have a big impact on someone's perspective of their loss. Yet, when added with each other, over the course of the year until today, they held value. And for that, she smiled, genuinely so in accordance with the warmth she felt.

Marilyn’s fingers tightened around the Heart Crystal, feeling its familiar weight against her palm. She closed her eyes, letting herself picture Helena’s smile, that quiet, unshakeable presence that had always grounded her.

“Helena… I think I’m ready now. I’m sorry it took so long for me to do this.”

A gentle warmth seemed to pulse from the pendant, as if Helena herself was there, reassuring her. Marilyn took a breath, letting go of the last threads of loneliness she’d wrapped herself in.

She owed it to her sister, to herself, and to the friends who had never given up on her. They had waited patiently, offering her connection even when she’d turned her back on it. And now, finally, she was ready to reach out.

She took a step, then some more, as she approached those five friends of hers. They had waited, now she shall answer.

“Dear Marilyn?” Cecilia turned to her, halting the prior topic to greet her.

“Hey, Lia,” Marilyn responded in turn, her tone back to the slight softness it once was, with a mix of both her timidness and her confidence intermingling together.

The princess had noticed it, and smiled. “Welcome back,” she said.

“Sorry if it took so long for me to do it,” she replied, “But…thank you, for calling me out on this, even if it took the limits of your patience for me to realise it.”

The princess had her mouth opened, before chuckling to herself, “Yeah, I guess so. Just make sure to not do this again, alright?”

Marilyn nodded, before turning towards Adrian, “Thank you for letting me think about this myself, but still being there for me in spite of it.”

Adrian crossed his arms, “Well we had a promise together, and I’m not going back on it. Even without that I’d still help you.”

She once again nodded, “Still…thank you.” Marilyn turned towards Elysia, “And you…I know you didn't do much like they did, but thank you for being yourself, treating me the same as you already had before, Elysia.”

Elysia laughed, “No worries, Lyn-lyn! You're alright, but this means my tactic worked!”

“Uhm, what kind of tactic…?” Marilyn raised an eyebrow.

“Leaving you be and not doing anything because I don't understand it, that's what!” Elysia seemed super proud of this, which left Marilyn a bit confused.

She looked towards Adrian, who just shook his head with a smile at his partner. She turned to Cecilia, who breathed out a sigh in response to Elysia's jesting. Marilyn guessed that it was a joke, an odd one, but somehow it fits the dragon girl next to her.

Maybe those two had a connection that Marilyn didn't know of, hence her confusion about this. Nonetheless—

“Still, thank you.” Marilyn said again, chuckling to Elysia's antics.

“No prob, Lyn-lyn!” Elysia saluted her, and then turned her attention towards the other two young men beside them.

“What? You wanna say thank you?” Vincent said with a scowl, arms akimbo as he stared at the silver-eyed girl, his expression seemingly rather annoyed, but— “Heh, no need, I had faith in ya! Just don't stress us out again, seriously.”

That turnaround was quite unexpected, Vincent being genuinely proud of her. It was surprising not just to Marilyn, but to all of them, especially towards…

“I knew you had it in you Vivi!” Eldryn called out, with a hearty laugh only a dwarf would have, “You’ve been praying too haven't you~?”

“The hell?! No I didn't! You said it yourself that I don't need to pray to have faith!” Vincent retorted, causing the others to laugh, “This just makes me betrayed over my own development you know!?”

Marilyn just kept laughing at their banter, it felt so light now her burden was. Things weren't over yet, but with this in mind she felt like a new perspective was opened up for her. “Well, I’m glad you had that hope for me, Vincent.”

The cowboy clicked his tongue, his stress somewhat dying down, “Yeah yeah, I didn't do much aside from that anyway.”

Marilyn then turned towards—

“No need to thank me either, Blessed One,” The preacher said, “I have faith that you would've opened your heart the same way he did.”

“I…see.” Marilyn smiled, “I wanna thank you for the constant prayers though, even if I didn't accept it during that time.”

Eldryn chuckled, “You're welcome!”

Marilyn felt a calmness settle over her. For the first time in a long while, the ache of loss wasn’t heavy. She looked around, taking in each face, feeling the warmth of their presence like a balm.

"I'll make sure to tell you all about it, the burden I've experienced," she declared. It brought a degree of intrigue and concern from them all, but right now that wouldn't matter much.

This morning would mark the continuation of their journey to the Veil, yet also a new beginning for herself. She knew that this time, burdened by grief or not, she wouldn’t walk alone.