Antares stares awkwardly at Nathi across from himself. He’d never been dancing before, least of all with a girl he’d never met, and he is feeling awfully sloppy and uncoordinated. His mind strains to think of something to say, but instead draws a dull blank, and he can feel himself growing steadily more embarrassed, as he flubs another move in the dance.
If he had more presence of mind, he might have noticed that Nathi was doing at least as poorly-She is substantially shorter than him, making it somewhat difficult to match their moves together. But Antares’s mind in that moment is little more than a dull buzz of half-formed thoughts and alcohol-fueled spontaneity.
Desperate to impress, he attempts an overblown maneuver and ends up sweeping Nathi’s legs out from under her, collapsing both of them onto the ground in a heap. “U-um, sorry.” Antares mumbles, staggering back up to his feet. “I-I’m just feeling jittery. Are you ok?” He asks, offering a hand down to Nathi, who bats it away as she stands up to her feet.
“I’m fine.” She replies shortly, sighing in irritation. “Let's just keep going until my parents let me leave.”
Antares doesn’t know what to say, so he tries to settle back into the rhythm… Not that there is much rhythm to the irregular beat of the drums and music that can barely be heard over the clamor of festival sounds.
Eventually, unable to bear the awkwardness any longer, Antares does his best to do what Reia had told him to… ‘get to know the girl’. But the only thing he can think of right then is Alunya, and how upset he had been to be left on the sidelines…
Alunya. My little brother. Family. Wait, that’s something I could ask about, right? So he coughs to clear his throat and then mumbles “So… What's your family like?” He can feel his words slurring together as he speaks, and ends up having to repeat himself before Nathi actually hears him.
Nathi looks reluctant to speak, but eventually responds. “I’m the second youngest out of seven kids. My parents' farm isn't that big, so I think they’re eager to have some of us move out.” She explains, shortly, not offering any additional details.
Antares tries to imagine what that could be like- He feels like having six Alunya’s running around demanding his attention would give him a heart attack.
Of course, that probably isn’t what it is actually like… Even he was aware that most people’s relationships with their siblings aren’t as close as him and Alunya. So eventually, he asks, “How do you feel about them?”
Nathi just stares blankly for a moment. “They’re fine, I guess. It sure is noisy. I wouldn’t hate moving out either. But my parents don't have alot to spare for a dowry, so I guess that's why I’m here dancing with the likes of you.” She barks out a laugh.
Antares looks at her, confused, not understanding what that meant. There is a subtle pounding in his head, and further thought seems difficult, so he just ignores the statement and does his best to keep ‘dancing’ despite the slow, sloppy nature of it.
[...]
Alunya’s silent vigil with Risa is interrupted when Vekt comes calling, finished with his dance. The adolescent squints his eyes at Alunya, suspiciously.
“...What are you doing here, whitehead?” He questions. “And why are you hanging out with my sister?”
Risa sighs. “Ugh, lay off of it, bro, we were just chatting.” She stands up, stretching.
Alunya looks up at Vekt as well. Normally he might be fairly hostile to the boy who was normally such a jerk to Antares, but today he just feels exhausted from how many weird and gross people had been out that day; it isn’t like Vekt is near that bad. So instead of retorting hostilely, he just responds “Ari is out dancing, and she’s the only other person I know that I could find to talk to.” matter-of-factly.
Vekt looks at Risa uncertainly. “He didn’t try to get you to dance with him, did he? You know you can do better than the likes of him.”
Risa rolls her eyes. “You’re as bad as dad. No, he didn’t ask me to dance. Besides, didn’t he save your life on your hunting trip last year?”
Vekt finds himself blushing. “That… We don’t need to talk about that.” Vekt replies, harshly, taking his sister’s hand. “Come on, let’s go, we should go catch up with mom.”
Risa looks at Alunya and shrugs, before going along with her brother. Alunya finds the corner of his mouth tilting upwards. Maybe Vekt isn’t all bad, at least he’s watching out for his younger sister.
But, that does leave him all alone again. Reia had simply left him and Antares at the dance to go gossip- presumably she was happy to have a chance to do so without Alunya interrupting. And Antares is…
Alunya looks around in confusion. Where is Antares? He isn’t on the dance floor- His previous dance partner is chatting with one of her parents. Hopping up to his feet, Alunya looks around, and finally spots his brother, stalking away from the festival grounds, looking around anxiously as if worried someone would see him, before ascending up the stone steps away from the festival grounds.
Alunya furrows his brow. What is his brother up to..? For a moment, he considers going to fetch his mother and tell her, but decides in short order to go see what is up himself.
[...]
Antares takes a swig from his mug, feeling the warm, bitter alcohol rush through his body. His dance partner had gotten away from him as soon as she had the opportunity, and left to go back to her parents… So much for making a good first impression.
Antares sighs and leans back, looking up at the sky- now a midnight tone of blue broken only by the stars. “Maybe I should have let Alunya dance with me...” Antares mumbles. He can’t really remember why he’d refused, his memory was getting a bit foggy, and he was feeling sick, swallowing to try and keep from throwing up.
As if… He thinks back to his ungainly and sloppy movements while trying to dance, compared to Alunya… His brilliant smile, the unerring balance and precision with which he moved, the way the wind caught in his hair.
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While Antares, conversely, couldn’t even dance without tripping up some poor girl. It’s not fair, why is he so much better at everything than me? I’m the older one... Antares' lip quivers and his eyes tear up. Snarling, he struggles to hold them back, but he can’t help it; even as he scrunches his face up trying to control it, he feels his nose stuffing up. So much for acting like a grown up…
Grabbing his drink, getting up, and looking around to make sure no-one is watching, Antares slips further away from the festival, walking some way up the pathway before halting on one of the terrace’s, only dimly lit by torch light from the pathway. It should have been cold, but he feels warm and fuzzy with the alcohol in his stomach, so he takes another swig before collapsing against one of the stone houses.
Now that he is finally somewhere private, he relents and lets the tears flow, curling up and hugging his legs as he begins sobbing uncontrollably. It’s dark and forlorn up here, but that feels appropriate; hopefully, it would keep everyone else away. The last thing he wants is someone to catch him crying, and give the likes of Kuzir or Vekt yet another reason to make fun of him.
And it is for precisely that reason that when he hears someone climbing over the rocks in front of him, he just about has a miniature heart attack as he bolts back up. But he quickly recognizes the signature pristine white hair of his younger brother, as Alunya clambers over the side of the terrace, raising his arms disarmingly. “I-it’s just me!”
Antares stiffens in surprise. “A-Alunya? What are you doing here?” He demands, more gruffly than he meant to. Am I imagining things..? Somehow, Alunya looks even more perfect than usual, his bright silhouette standing out against the darkness.
He still had the same narrow shoulders and hips that gave him an even, pole-like silhouette, and the same upright, effortless posture, but in recent years, Alunya’s active lifestyle had graced him with a lean, sinewy kind of athleticism, despite his slender form. Coupled with his unusual height for his age (He was somehow still keeping pace with Antares, despite Antares having entered his growth spurt), he was left even more graceful in appearance than ever.
He’s like an angel. Antares thinks to himself, bitterly. Yet nowhere is that more clear than the deep, loving concern presently writ upon his face; His big, emotive eyes behind pristine white lashes high on his face, the small forehead hiding behind a curtain of silky, slightly wavy snow-white hair. The way his cute nose was upturned just slightly, the delicate, refined jawline tapering to a narrow, recessed chin that gives him a very slight overbite. All above that slender, elegant neck blending down into his shoulders, hidden beneath that cashmere tunic…
“You just looked really sad leaving the festival… I wanted to make sure you were ok…” Alunya frowns, looking up at Antares. There is something decidedly off with Antares’s expression; not because of his tear filled eyes nor the way his features were all scrunched up, but because of his flushed cheeks and unfocused gaze roaming over Alunya’s face.
Antares blinks, trying to call himself back to reality, cheeks turning even more red as he rips his gaze away and stares off into the distance bitterly. “I can’t even sneak away without you noticing, huh? I really am hopeless…” Antares mumbles, although Alunya can barely tell what he was saying through his slurring.
Alunya gasps in shock. “H-how can you say that Ari, you’re so amazing! Did someone say something mean to you? You shouldn’t listen to them, they’re just jealous of how great you are!!” Alunya desperately tries to reassure his brother, holding one of his brothers hands in his own. What's gotten into you, Ari? This isn't like you…
Antares stares at Alunya with a dim expression as if looking at a stranger, before bursting out laughing and hiccuping. “Ha! Amazing…” He cuts off his own laughter by snarling. “You’re so graceful, while I can’t even dance without making a fool of myself. It’s not fair!” He spits out with vitriol. “I was embarrassed to dance with you! Ha! You should be embarrassed to be seen with me!”
Alunya’s mind scrambles for something to say, wanting to make Antares feel better but not knowing how. “P-please don’t say that, big brother… I love you… I’d never be embarrassed by you, you’re the most amazing person I know. Who cares if you aren’t a good dancer?” His voice issues forth in a low, almost scared tone.
Antares’ stare at Alunya intensifies, making the younger boy shrink in place. “Why?” He demands.
“H-huh?” Alunya blinks, confused.
“Why do you love me? What's so amazing about me?” Antares challenges.
“I-I mean…” Alunya stammers out, not sure what to say.
“Exactly… hic! You can’t even think of a reason…” Antares reaches to take another swig from his drink, but Alunya- with surprising strength- seizes his arms and holds them back, clambering up in front of Antares to make sure he holds his attention. Antares shivers looking at Alunya’s serious expression, his jaw set and brow fiercely furrowed; Antares doesn’t know if he’d ever seen his younger brother look so somber before.
“...You work so hard to keep food on the table for our family, and you always take such good care of me. You make me feel better whenever I’m feeling down and always do your best to protect me, no matter what it is. You’re so cute whenever you smile, and you show me all the coolest places in the forest and village. You always take the time to play with me, even though you could go play with the older boys that are your age instead. All of my happiest memories are with you, like when you showed me how to catch fish when the river was icy, or when we got to go hunting together. And I miss you so, so much whenever you’re busy helping Mom. I love you more than anything, Antares.” Alunya recites in a soft, pensive voice, his grip on Antares’ arms tightening until it hurts.
“...You’re like an angel. I don’t deserve you…” Antares mumbles huskily. “I must have been born into the wrong family… One day you’ll learn and you’ll leave me…”
“Shut up!” Alunya shouts suddenly, hugging Antares fiercely and rubbing his face against his chest. “I dunno why you’re acting so weird, but shut up! Nobody talks to my big brother like that, not even my big brother!”
Alunya’s lip quivers and he feels tears leaking out of his eyes as Antares freezes in shock. Not wanting his brother to see him crying and feel even worse, Alunya buries his face down into Antares’s shoulder and tries in vain to hold the tears back. Slowly, Antares' arms wrap back around Alunya, and he can feel his older brother sobbing in turn.
“I-I’m sorry, Alunya. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Antares mumbles remorsefully. Alunya pulls his head back and looks up at Antares fiercely, his round, silvery eyes narrowed while tears run down his face. Antares’ ruddy face was the same, blubbering with not just tears but snot running from his nose inelegantly.
“Say sorry to yourself, not me. You’re the one you’re being a big meanie to.” Alunya wipes his tears away, sniffling.
Antares nods hesitantly, then moves back, wiping his face off and making a strange sound, a combination of sobbing, laughing, and sniffling at once. “Heh, I think I got my snot in your hair…”
Alunya shrieks in distress and looks around. “What!? Where!? Get it out!” He wipes at his hair, while Antares snickers in amusement, smiling bittersweetly. “Here, let me get it for you.”
Only once he’d gotten Alunya to stop moving for a moment and he was able to wipe Alunya’s hair off with his sleeve, does a calm silence overtake the two of them. For a long moment, Alunya closes his eyes and just relaxes against his brother, holding Antares’s hand in his own, before finally opening his eyes up widely and sitting up in front of him.
“Antares, let’s go back to the festival. There’s still some time left. We can dance together!” Alunya pleads, holding Antares’ hand with both of his and looking up at him. Antares looks away, blushing, but try as he might, he can't remember the reason he’d said no to Alunya originally. So, he smiles down at Alunya poignantly and, gently petting his hair, nods. “Alright, we can go.”
Alunya beams up at him, giggling, and swiftly gets behind Antares, clambering up onto his back and pointing forwards. “Haha! Onwards, noble steed!”
Shaking his head in amusement, Antares lifts Alunya up on his back and carries him back towards the lights of the festival.