“Here we go!” Greg let go of me and I fell on the ground with a thud.

“Mother-“ I was shocked to see a barrel resembling a tub filled with water and four stools.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” As I glanced around the room, my eyes landed on Greg’s grotesque dick.

“Ha! Are you amazed by my manhood?!” Greg pumped his chest out triumphantly, and pushed his third leg towards my face.

“Why is it pulsing like that?!” I scooted backwards until I hit the barrel full of water which caused it to spill water on me. “Get away from me!”

HOW DOES ANYONE HAVE THAT?! I THOUGHT THOSE ONLY EXISTED IN PORNOS!

I wiped the water from my eyes, Greg began to mockingly flaunt his disgusting lump of meat as he inched towards me.

“Fuck!! Shit!! Dammit!!” I tried to stand up, but I kept slipping on the water and falling back down.

“Don’t be shy!” Greg began to spin his pump of meat in a circle.

I gave up trying to stand, and opted to crawl instead. But, I was unable to even do that properly, and Greg slowly cut off each one of my escape routes. “GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!”

“Don’t be afraid..” Greg towered over me, and his grotesque meat stick looked me in the eyes. “BECAUSE SOMEDAY THIS WILL BE ALL YOURS!!”

THAT CAN'T BE A DICK, THERE'S JUST NO WAY! “STOP MAKING IT SPIN!!!”

Greg’s grotesque lump of meat resembled a spinning wheel of death, and I had nowhere to run. “Be warned, there are only a few women who can take it! Your mother-”

While Greg was in the middle of his speech, in my desperation, I cocked my arm back and punched him in his massive balls.

Greg immediately went stiff, and his spinning flesh wheel of death slowly came to a screeching halt.

“I-I..I TOLD YOU TO STOP!!” Despite my yelling, Greg remained motionless like a statue.

I have a bad feeling about this..

“...Huh?” I finally managed to stand up, when Greg’s massive figure began to sway heavily. “WAIT! NO! ARGHH-”

*Splash*

“OH MY GOD! IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!” Greg fell on me, and it caused us to topple over into the barrel. I was LUCKY to be able to slip from underneath him.

I looked over to see Greg floating face down in the barrel.

Fucking pedophile! I hope he drowns! I had a lingering hope that reincarnation would turn out tobe great, but since it’s me it’s not! Fuck all of this! I'm getting the hell away from here!

As soon as I grabbed the rim of the barrel, a wet hand grasped my shoulder…

This.. this can’t be happening?!

“That was one hell of a punch!” I slowly turned my head to see Greg with a huge smile plastered on his face. “I’ll show you how to put more power into that strike next time.”

Later…

“This is great!” Greg’s hearty laughter filled my ears.

“Why do you have to keep yelling? I’m right next to you...” I don’t think there has been a time where he hasn’t yelled.

I gave up trying to get away shortly after he recovered from my nut shot. He put me in a bear hug that I wasn’t able to escape from.

“How else would you know I’m excited?!” My bones creaked as Greg hugged me even tighter. “I finally get to spend some quality time with my son! Oh! I almost forgot! Your mother told me that you have..” Greg placed his hand on his chin in deep thought. “What was it called? Amnesia..”

Gregfinally loosened his grip, and I finally got a second to breathe. “If you knew.. Why did you do all of this?! Couldn’t we have just talked?!”

“But, this is more fun!” Greg’s jubilant laughter sounded like grating against my ears.

“...You’re an asshole.” Those words left my mouth without a second thought.

“Is this how you speak to your old man now? I could have let you stay sad and cooped up in that room. Your mother and I were really worried about you, especially your mother. She cried all night and begged me to try and cheer you up. But-“ Greg began to go on a tangent and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Okay, I get it!” Good job trying to destroy me with guilt!

“Good!” Greg bore a triumphant smile and hugged me tighter. “I’m going to tell you the story of how I killed a six eyed deer!”

I listened to a story of how Greg encountered a six eyed deer in the forest when he was hunting for food. Apparently they’re supposed to be a big deal because they’re incredibly fast and strong, and some other bullshit. I really dont’ believe him, but when I think about it. How far-fetched is that compared to reincarnation?

After we finished drying off and got dressed, Greg handed me a twig.

“Wha.. what is this for?” I chuckled a bit, but I stopped once I saw that Greg wasn’t laughing.

“To brush your teeth.” Greg said that matter of factly.

I looked between Greg and the twig multiple times, before I finally could reply. “It’s a twig.”

“Yes it is.” Greg nodded his head as said those words.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“.....” I was in shock and could only keep my mouth open in silence.

After a very long time, a light bulb finally went off in Greg’s head. He then proceeded to show me how to use the twig to clean my teeth. The method is to chew the bark off, and use the fiber inside them to scrub my teeth.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t so bad. The twig actually tasted pretty good!

..I actually used a twig to brush my teeth.. oh my god.

I didn’t have much time to lament the situation, as Greg informed me that it was time for dinner.

As Greg and I approached the kitchen, a delicious aroma tickled my nose and made my mouth water.

My stomach growled, and Greg laughed before shoving me into the kitchen. I spotted Andrea as soon as I walked into the kitchen. She was stirring a pot near the fireplace, occasionally taking small sips from her wooden spoon.

It must be good for her to be smiling like that.

Crap! I’m drooling.

I wiped my mouth as my eyes scanned the dining table before landing on an all too familiar figure.

“Shit!” Damnit! I knew she was going to be here, but I wasn't prepared. Those words left my mouth without hesitation. almost instinctively and I backed into Greg by accident.

The familiar figure in question was Adela’s sister, Juliette. She was sitting at the table with her arms to her side, and her hair covering her face. She was wearing a white t-shirt and a cute purple skirt that accentuated her beautiful legs.

I heard Andrea talking, but it went in one ear and out the other.

“What are you doing?!” I quickly hid behind Greg’s huge figure, as he tried to shake me off of his legs.

Yeah, it’s cowardly! But, I can’t help it! How am I supposed to face her?! What do I even say?! Sorry for the sweet home Alabama moment?!

I peeked out from behind Greg’s legs to see what Juliette was doing. Her eyes were glued to her bowl and she hadn’t moved a muscle.

Why do I have goosebumps?! Wait, is she staring at me?!

Through the parting of her hair, I could see Juliette quietly staring at me. After she noticed me watching her, she immediately turned her head the other way.

She hates me….

“It’s almost time to eat, stop dawdling.” Greg smacked my back, and I stepped out in front of him.

Shiittt that hurt!

I scowled at Greg, but it didn’t seem to matter to him. He still had that dumbass look plastered on his face.

I refuse to scream, I won’t give him the satisfaction.

I hesitantly took a seat that was opposite of Juliette, but before I had the chance to sit down, Greg placed his hand on my shoulder. “That’s my seat.”

I grabbed another chair, and that’s when Greg shook his head once again. “That’s your mother’s.”

“So.. I’ll sit…” Greg nodded his head to my pointing, and my heart began to sink. “Okay..”

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more awkward.

I inhaled a deep breath before awkwardly taking my seat next to Juliette.

Wow, she’s really cu-

As soon as I sat down in my chair, she put as much distance between us as possible.

...Like school all over again.

Andrea picked up the pot by the handle, and walked over to the table before filling our bowls with meat soup. The smell was almost intoxicating, and I couldn’t stop myself from salivating. I was tempted to start eating immediately, but I didn’t have a spoon yet and the soup was still piping hot.

After we got our bowls filled, a slurping noise was heard across the table from me. I looked across the table to see Greg taking hearty sipps from the bowl. I wasn’t disturbed by how loud his slurping was, but by the fact that he was able to withstand the heat from the soup.

Andrea walked over and popped him on the head with a spoon, and he started laughing. I looked to my left to see Juliette at the edge of the table. She still looked prepared to run away at any moment.

I whispered, but made sure that I was loud enough for Juliette to hear. “I...I’m sorry!” I’m not sure if my apology matters, but I feel really bad seeing her like this.

Juliette twitched upon hearing me say that, but didn’t respond other than that.

Everyone clapped their hands together in a mock prayer. It felt kind of awkward watching everyone, so I copied them.

“Do you know what we’re doing?” Andrea’s question caught me off guard, and it took me a moment to realize she was talking to me.

“Praying?” What else could it be?

Andrea scowled before inhaling a deep breath. “If you pray to the gods, you might as well pray to a tree. What we’re doing is giving thanks to the animal that gave its life in order for us to eat.”

A scoff could be heard across the table, and everyone turned to look at Greg. “What?”

Andrea rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Your father doesn’t believe in gods, NOR showing appreciation to the animals he kills.”

Greg shrugged, before going back to eating.

I never thought about things that way. I guess having to kill the animal you’re going to eat gives you a bit more appreciation for it. Wait.. Greg was actually serious about killing a four eyed deer?!

“Time to eat.” After Andrea’s announcement, she began to eagerly enjoy her soup.

Greg immediately down his entire bowl of soup and proceeded to fill it again, while Andrea shook her head before letting a soft chuckle escape from her mouth. Juliette on the other hand, hadn’t touched her soup, let alone moved.

I don’t think there’s anything more I can do on that front.

I pushed my guilty feelings to the back of my head and blew on my soup before taking a big mouthful. “Oh my god!”

The sound of my spoon dropping filled the room, and everyone turned to stare at me.

“I..it’s really good.” Those words left my mouth without a second of hesitation.

“That’s the spirit!” Greg’s jubilant voice entered my ears and vibrated throughout my body.

Andrea’s lips curved into a barely noticeable smile. “Pfft.. I’m glad you like it.” Andrea pointed towards Juliette who flinched in response. “Julie helped me make it. She’s been VERY worried about you, and wanted to help somehow.”

I turned to look at Juliette, and she appeared to be very uncomfortable. Her hands kept fidgeting, and her legs were shaking non stop while she looked down at her bowl of soup.

“Thank you for the food.” That was the least I could do. I can't even remember the last time I had a home cooked meal.

When was the last time that I had a home cooked meal? It was…

“Adela?” Andrea’s voice suddenly snapped me out of a trance.

“Huh?” Why does everyone look so worried? I must have done something weird while I was daydreaming.

Andrea paused for a moment, as if she didn’t know what to say. “You’re crying..”

Crying?

I touched my face only to discover that I was indeed crying.

“Huh?” I’m actually crying??? Hehe…I thought she was joking. “Oh..Oh…I-I’m sorry.. it’s..just..sorry…”

“Haha, the boy’s just happy to have such good food!” For some odd reason, Greg’s cheerful voice made me feel even worse.

Damnit, stop crying!

My cheeks were quickly dyed with tears, no matter how many tears I wiped away. It was like a dam that had just burst open.

Greg started panicking and began to make jokes that were so bad that it caused me to start laughing.

Greg burst into a laughing fit as if he had just heard the funniest joke ever. “So guess what?! I heard that someone at this table tried to mount their sister!”

The soup that I was eating got stuck in my throat and I began choking horribly.

W..what did he just say?!

Greg’s voice was booming and he began laughing even louder. “Ha! I’m not upset! I’m relieved that you’re not gay! Otherwise, I would have made your mother take your virginity!”

Have.. her… take... what??? “...Are you serious?”

“Of course!” Greg sounded..almost ecstatic?

I looked over to Andrea, and she was rubbing her temples profusely.

That... was that something they actually considered?! That was an option?! “..Aren’t.. aren’t we… related?”

“That’s not important!” Greg waved his hands as he released another hearty laugh.

I...what the fuck is wrong with this family???

“Enough about that!” Greg suddenly stood up and slammed his hands on the table. “What are your plans for Julie?!”

Greg’s smile seemed as carefree as ever, but I had a gut feeling that wasn’t the case. “E-Excuse me???” I looked towards Andrea and she had a look I had never seen before. I looked at Juliette and she was peeking at me, but averted her eyes once I noticed her. “Plans…”

Greg flashed a toothy smile with a sparkle in his eyes. “Yes?! Julie may not be much, but you can’t milk the cow for free!”

“What the fuck?! Why would you talk about your daughter that way?” Wait.. I.. why do I even care?

I covered my mouth, but the damage was already done. Andrea had a burning spark of interest in her eyes, with a mocking grin to compliment it. Greg looked shocked, and Juliette… What is that look she’s giving me?

Damnit! What the hell is wrong with me?! Why did I say that?!

“That’s the spirit!” Greg’s voice was full of energy, as he burst into a fit of laughter.

“Bold.” Andrea muttered under her breath, but it was loud enough for me to hear.

“No...no..I-” Damnit! What am I getting embarrassed for?! They’re the weird ones here!

“Don’t you feel the same Julie?” Andrea looked over to Juliette, like a cat eyeing it’s prey.

I found myself waiting for Juliette's response along with everyone else at the table.

After a few awkward moments of silence, Juliette stood up and ran out of the kitchen.

Andrea's lips curled into a thin smile, and her eyes danced excitedly. “~Good luck~”