"- Ok."

Stay cool. Don't panic.

"- Ok."

Who am i kidding... Im panicking. I wouldnt speak to myself like that if i was not.

"- Ok."

Stay calm. Breath slowly… humff… pffffff… Done. Let's observe where i am, and analyze quietly and caaaalmly. Right.

I am in the middle on a fucking fantasy city.

I'm sure of that since i can spot beastmen and other fantasy-like creature all around me. Heck, it even look like the disney castle in the distance. Sadly, i dont think i'm at disneyworld or whatever affiliated resort since i don't see any Mickeys anywhere… Well. I was already pretty sure the second when i've been ejected here where i was. Or more accurately where i was not. Earth.

Even if i look like this, (binge) reading is a hobby of mine and i've stumbled in the « transported to another world, be the overpowered hero blah blah blah harem » and all the standard plots declinaisons. On this subject, i'm at least glad it dont look like a chinese novel world where they kill people for no reason everywhere like they're ants... I've always wondered how they're was still someone alive in these novel world… Well, it's still okay if i'm not in one of these.

I'm glad too ive not be killed by something like a cliché magic truck, dumped on me by airplane or whatever… Well, no, i mean, im going astray here, i must focus. Dont escape reality. Focus, me !

So, i'm in the middle of a medieval fantasy city.

The batiments are looking somewhat neat, with white stone and clean colors, orange tile roof and glass windows. The street is a proper street with pavement made from some grey stone and sewer-thing look-alike are here and here. So it's not a shabby world with no technology.

The people are busy going around doing… well, the everyday life. Some are buying food, some are going around with their childrens or lovers. They dont look famished or poor, but dont look like they are rich either ; it seem i'm in the middle-class area of the city. Good good, at least the people dont look strained like in a monster-crisis, imminent war or oppressed by upper class noble going around terrorizing everyone. I can see that because some are chatting with each other and some are just sitting at a bench, looking at the passing people with dazed looks. Isekai standard plot A, B & C seems out for the moment.

I've also spotted two armed guard going on with some patrol duty chatting with happy beastmen children. Dont look like a xenophobic culture so. I also spotted someone doing some magic… yeah this is the stuff… helping a guy who needed help to lift a big cabinet. It's floating… Heck, now theyre transporting it like its some balloon, attached with a cord. I dont think its safe to do that when the wind blow. But i'm again loosing my carefulness here. Focus again, focus !

For now, the city look good. Didn't spot abused slave or some shit anywhere. Altought i dont know how to read the strange writings-signs on each building, i can found that they do since each shops have explicits icon in front : book for library, a sword for armory, needle and thread for tailor… At least i dont think i can mistakenly enter the wrong kind of shop and being cutted to pieces because something.

The products i can see from outside the shops look like they have some technically advanced crafting methods : printed papers, neatly sewed clothes, some strange looking mechanism and clocks, confirming my impression of this world not being a backward hole with unevolved people. At least technically speaking, the clock look like some old european good looking timepiece from the end of the 19th century, with neat copper and glass. I've even spotted some strange looking musket in the back of the armory when i was looking from outdoor.

Now me : I'm looking the same as i was ten minutes ago : Basket, jeans, movie-logo printed sweat. It mean i look like a sore thumb in the middle of the street with my "exotic" clothes, and people look at me curiously while passing.

Well, the guys have mostly simple brown tissus pants and single colored shirt, while the girl have all pretty colorfull dress, the only exceptions being some passing aventurers with a mix of metal and leather armor on their shirt and pants.

And now that i take a good look, ouch, the girls are all good looking, even the older ones. Mmmh, You can easily pass the time here looking at every girl going on a stroll withouth being bored, there is something for every tastes. Well, i think the beast girl at the back who seem to have rhinoceros blood is not really that you can call a beauty, but she's still quite decent looking. And the guys around look all sturdy, even bulky. Especially the non human one…

At least i look like someone a little thinner than the average man, and since i'm not on the small side, i can quite blend in the crowd if i need to escape at some point. Ha no, an elf man… Woman ? Man. Well, he has the same build as me. But he look like some fucking model.

Mmmmh, i'm still not sure about his gender after all.

While i was still contemplating, i remembered something suddenly.

As a grin was forming on my face, i was thinking...

This world seem fantasy stuff, right ? Since i'm here, i can somewhat check it, right ? Soooo, why not ?

I said withouth speaking too loud :

« - Status. »

Aaand... nothing.

« - Index ! »

Nothing.

« - Stats ! Summary ! Character ! Inventory ! Spells ! Menu ! Whatever !!! »

...

The passerby people are looking at me with pained gaze. I wave at them with a smile. Yeah, don't worry, look away, Please. I'm reflecting on doing whatever coming to my mind and shouting in broad public. I wont do it again. Look away. Please. Thanks.

Well, i honestly hoped it would work, in all novels they got the index menu with stats, skill and everything as a basic starting point. But hey, after all, its reality.

Hmm, no, thinking about it, its not.

Well, in fact its reality but not really.

Hoooo, fuck this.

Now, i have to try "communicating" with someone. And since it dont look like they can speak any langage i can understand, i have to go with the good old gestures charade to say something. Just hope i dont make the local insult while trying to explain myself.

I choose to go to an harmless-looking merchant in front of a clothe selling store near where i was.

I tried to say « hi, i dont speak your language can you help me ? » when pointing to myself and speaking some word then pointing to himself and to myself again with a puppy eyed (at least i wanted to try to look puppy eyed...) sad expression, shrugging my shoulders.

…

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

The guy now look like the living avatar of the smiley [ [http://forum.rue-montgallet.com/static/icones/smilies/oo.gif] ]. Great. I retry again.

After some time looking like i was doing some weird dance to be understood, the marchant seem to ponder about something, and then call a child who was playing near his shop, giving him a copper coin and asking to him to… Well, i dont know, since i dont understand anything… But, after that, the child take me by the hand and with a smile try to make me follow him.

Since i can't do anything by staying here withouth further information or communication method, its better than nothing, so i go with the flow. The nice gentle looking merchant smile too and wave me a goodbye when i am dragged away by the child. Hey, did he give a coin to this child withouth asking anything in exchange ? Is it a nice guy ? Or... I just hope this child is not guiding me to the gentle looking slave merchant… At worst i will run away.

After some time going on a ride with the child – heck, this little guy has some strenght and he's fast, i dont have the time to look around on the way, how is it possible ? – i'm now before a huge white buiding made of big pans of stones fused together and curiously reinforced with a metal-looking hence on the outside. A really sturdy-looking building. A big metal sign showing a sword and a shield stuck in each other is above the western revolving saloon-doors.

The cliché adventurer guild !? Well, at least they can perhaps help me. Again, i hope they dont have the assorted cliche bad guy group attacking all guy going to the counter. I havea lot of hope lately, dont i ?

The child drop me here and go away withouth turning even a glance at me. Well. No choice. I enter the imposing building.

On the inside, shockingly, its cliché again.

A wooden floor, a polished counter made of precious looking wood on the back of the batiment, with georgous looking womens from all race in uniform doing paper job, and people lining up in front of them. A huge ceiling, with stairs on the left of the room going to differents floors with more people circulating. But before that, in front of me, a lot of tables with adventurers-like people happily chatting and drinking, some eating, some sleeping on their chairs with waitress going around them and a big ancient looking tavern bar going all the way to the back from the right of the room. In all, this room is almost 800m². I look like a huge administration office or a bank from earth but crafted with wood and stone only.

When i go further inside, except some seated adventurers in front of me looking absentmindedly at my printed sweat while drinking, i go almost unnoticed.

Well, at least i hope so. Hope springs eternal.

I go to a counter where almost no people attend and wait a little in line. The tanned guy before me is one meter bigger than me - my height is 1m86 - but he still look like hes humaaaaaaaaaand when he turn to look in the direction of the merry-drinking people, he has only one huge eye in his face. A cyclop. I freeze on the spot while smiling wryly for several second, then turn my eyes to the ceiling, hoping he didnt see me staring at him. better pass for a strange guy than an impolite guy to a 1 ton muscle-looking monster.

After shouting something at the people and smiling withouth a look at me he return to his business waiting in the line. SAFE. i return my gaze to his back and look at his equipment. He look normal. Well, normal for a cyclops monster in a fantasy world. Well, i mean i dont see living sword spitting lightning everywhere or this sort of thing.

While waiting, i wondered how many second i would survive if i was able to ask him how he can see and measure something in the distance with his only eye. Hahaha. No, i would really die. Its not funny. I wonder why these type of  questions are the only ones popping to mind when i see mythological creature like this in front of myself... Haaa... Escaping reality again...

Finally it's my turn. After the big guy in front of me leave, i'm able to see the receptionnist : a beautiful woman, the elf mature type with slighty dropping green eyes, delicate pale cherry lips, beautifully waved long pale-blonde hair and a – HO MY GOSH – gravity-breaking stack of watermelons, to the point that i was wondering when was the last time she was able to see her foots. She look at me with a professional smile and a reserved disposition behind her counter. She has a mostly white uniform with blue adorments and a same blue badge on her chest, looking like the guild emblem.

Remembering the lesson from the cyclops a moment ago, i instantly advert my eyes from the badge and that's behind. Dont know if she wont grill me with a fireball or if she have the power to, after all.

And since im here to ask for help, i have to be polite before anything. I go back to my reliable self and earnestly try to stop wondering about everything like i am a visitor in some strange amusement park.

While locking the (beautiful) green eyes of the receptionnist with mine, i advance to the counter and speak while doing the gestual charade again.

« - Hello, excuse-me, i dont know where i am and if someone can speak my language, can you help me please ? »

I try to act in earnest and ask on a neutral tone my question, withouth any bad emotion showing. At least if she dont undertand, she wouldn't mistake the intention behind.

And surely, the head of the elf tilt to the side, looking like she didnt understood a thing i just said. Previsible. But then again, she smile at me and move her right hand.

Her (beautiful) hand start glowing with a yellow, then green halo, and one second after, she speak a word and this halo go straight to my torso. While i am stunned on the spot, she smile to me again and start speaking.

And i still dont understand anything.

« - Hum, i'm sorry but i still dont understand a thing... »

I say it while relaxing and with a sorry tone, trying to express that i dont understand what she said or the meaning of this spell on me, but the receptionnist give me a puzzled look. She then again repeat the same pattern with the spell and the same word a little louder and try to ask me something in her incomprehensible language again. After the same answer, she look at me with round eye and start using a lot of chant and gesture in front of me, with a lot of glow and sparkle, to the point that the others receptionnist nearby stop their activity and start looking at us. It's escalating quickly.

I dont fucking dare to notice the others people in line behind me quietly going sideways for the moment, since i am looking in front, at the elf woman, while wondering is she was not going to blast me away with this spell because i was making her took too much time for a customer or any random reason like she was thinking it was all a prank to annoy her.

She cant do this in the middle of the batiment, right ? Right ? Is it already too late to run ?

The spell finish with a big pale green flash going from the elf to me, with sparkles englobing me for ten or so seconds. I look nervously to myself until the last light disappear, then to the receptionnist. She's a little out of breath, discheveled and look at me with a smuggy proud smile. With one elbow on the counter, the neat receptionnist aura she was giving at start has vanished. But she still look beautiful.

She then say something again. And, magic !

I still dont understand a thing.

I start panicking. This time, she can REALLY blast me away in fury.

As i was doubting if it was wise to say it or not, another receptionnist, a young feline-looking beastgirl come and speak to the elf, then speak to me.

« - Sorry, i still dont understand a thing you just said... »

As i was troubled on how to explain myself again, the elf was popping a vein, and with a frozen smile, she start to gather her green aura, who start to turn to a dark blue. Scary.

The other receptionnist hurriedly stop her with some difficulty, then stare at me. And after looking like she was racking her brain hard for a moment, she ask in a slow manner, accentuating each word :

« - Doo doo shpike ingish ? »

« - What ? »

With some efforts, she seem to concentrate to remember something and say again :

« - Doo too shpeak engrish ? »

« - Haaa ! Yes yes ! » i say happily while nodding.

The beast girl seem happy while the elf girl look at us with a jaded expression. The blue aura still on her hand. Ok, this was a close call...

Wait, did she just speaked english in a fantasy world ?

Beast girl indicate me to wait for her on a chair on a corner of the room while the elf magically regain her business attitude for the next customer. Well, looking at him, it's too late, he's afraid. The big sturdy guy who was after me, now look like he has knees made of noodles. And the other one in line didnt seem to boast about too. He's the last since I've spotted the two who were after him going to other receptionnists lines sneakily.

Well, pissed womens are scarry after all, humans or elfs. These guys have to be especially polite and down to business or else they... Oops, she's giving me a frozen stare now. What a beautiful ceilling they have. Hooo, the floor is clean too. that's basaltic stone, right ?

After some time, the beast girl come to me, still in her uniform, and with a « follow me » sign, she start to go outside, and make a signal to me again while pointing to the cinderella castle with pointed towers i've spotted before. Ok, i understand. Disney castle, here we go.

« - At least, i have perhaps a way to communicate and some clues here... »

While advancing, i look at the castle with the setting sun, to notice there was a small sun behind the big one.

Yep. Fantasy again. I mus admit, this is beautiful beyond imagination.

But even if its incredible, i have people waiting for me home. I dont have any envy to do "yeaah, im in some new world, let's forget everybody else and let my family cry at home thinking im dead, yeaaah" from shitty generic characters. And i have a job to do... Okay this one can be waiting, i dont care.

Annnd, after all, i dont really feel like killing everything on sight too. Well, basically, i'm happy with a somewhat quiet life, withouth running and shedding blood everywhere. I'm a strong believer of the "i dont like doing to other that i would not like done to myself" and "if you can help and make some people happy withouth too much effort, why not ?". It not mean i would stay full pacifist if i was attacked, but hey, i would not make the trip to annoy something or someone who would have quietly stayed in his own area withouth bothering anyone because of a bad pretext.

So please. Please, i want to go back home, fast.

I think about that and let out a long sigh while following the beast girl.

Mmmmh, nice ass by the way…

Shit. I really have to concentrate and go back soon before my will soften and another thing harden.