Reivan never considered himself a morning person. Waking up before noon was already an insult to his well-being, but waking up to the sound of steel clashing outside his bedroom? That was downright disrespectful.

He groggily sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as a figure burst into his room.

"Assassins!"

Reivan blinked. "Huh?"

Sylpkx, standing by the door with her sword drawn, did not look amused. "Yes, assassins. As in multiple. As in currently fighting for their lives against your mercenaries outside. Any other dumb questions?"

He ran a hand through his hair, still processing. "Uh. Did I order assassins?"

She stared at him. "No. That’s not how assassination works."

"Right, right, just checking."

The unmistakable sound of a body hitting the ground outside made him sigh. "Okay. I guess I should do something."

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THE BATTLE OUTSIDE – FEATURING VERY CONFUSED ASSASSINS

The assassins had come in the dead of night, cloaked in darkness, moving with the precision of trained killers. Their target? A man they believed to be a key power broker, someone manipulating the kingdom’s politics from the shadows.

What they didn’t expect was resistance. Fierce, overwhelming, and deeply, deeply confusing resistance.

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM?" one assassin yelled as he barely dodged a thrown axe.

"They were supposed to be mercenaries! NOT AN ELITE PRIVATE ARMY!"

One of Reivan’s mercenaries, a towering brute known as Big Gorr, cackled as he sent another assassin flying with a well-placed kick. "Hah! You guys shoulda read the fine print before taking this job!"

Another assassin barely managed to parry a strike from a twin-bladed rogue. "Fine print?! What fine print?!"

"The one that says: If you mess with Reivan, you mess with us!"

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"WHO EVEN IS HE?!"

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REIVAN – THE MAN WHO DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

By the time Reivan actually stepped outside, the battle was already over. Well, battle was a strong word. More like an unfortunate misunderstanding where a group of trained killers realized too late they had kicked a beehive instead of stepping on an ant.

Sylpkx surveyed the scene with mild disinterest, stepping over an unconscious assassin as she turned to him. "Do you get how ridiculous this is?"

Reivan yawned. "Which part? The assassination attempt? The part where my mercenaries apparently function like a small kingdom’s standing army? Or the fact that I slept through most of it?"

"Yes."

One of the captured assassins, tied up and looking deeply betrayed by the universe, glared at him. "Just kill us already. We failed."

Reivan tilted his head. "Oh, no, no, no. See, I have questions. Very important ones."

The assassin remained silent, likely preparing for the usual interrogation tactics—torture, intimidation, bribes.

Instead, Reivan crossed his arms. "WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?"

The assassins exchanged glances. The leader sighed. "You're Reivan. The man behind the political upheavals, the unseen mastermind, the one even nobles fear."

Sylpkx choked on her own spit.

Reivan just stared. "I’m sorry. What?"

"We were hired because they said you were untouchable. That your influence extended beyond the capital. That you were too dangerous to live."

Reivan turned to Sylpkx. "They think I’m dangerous. Like, intentionally dangerous."

Sylpkx wiped a tear from her eye, still laughing. "Oh, this is fantastic."

Reivan exhaled. "Listen, buddy. I think you might be laboring under a huge misunderstanding. I am not a power broker. I am not some grand manipulator. I am just a guy who talks a lot, somehow survives things I shouldn’t, and occasionally gets dragged into nonsense."

The assassin just blinked. "That’s exactly what a dangerous manipulator would say."

Reivan groaned. "Okay. Look, since I apparently have a reputation now, what if I just... let you all go?"

The assassin narrowed his eyes. "To spread word of your mercy and solidify your legend as a man of wisdom and restraint?"

Reivan was about to correct him but then decided, you know what, fine. "Sure. Yes. That."

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AFTERMATH – RUMORS GET WORSE

By noon, the kingdom was buzzing.

"Did you hear? Reivan personally interrogated assassins and let them live just to send a message."

"No, no, that’s wrong. He befriended them. The assassins left singing his praises."

"I heard the assassins were actually secret spies sent by another kingdom, and Reivan turned them with just his words."

Seraphina, upon hearing these rumors from her palace balcony, set down her teacup. "Oh, for heaven’s sake."

Her guard coughed awkwardly. "Should we... correct the rumors, Your Highness?"

She thought about it. Then sighed. "No. Let the court believe what they want. Maybe it'll keep the other nobles in check."

Meanwhile, Reivan, oblivious to the growing legends surrounding him, stretched his arms with a yawn. "So... breakfast?"

Sylpkx pinched the bridge of her nose. "I hate you so much."

"You say that, but you’d miss me if I were gone."

"Unfortunately, you might be right."