My name is jarrod jarl, and I was ounce quite the pool player if I do say so myself. Now I don't remember much of my life, but one thing I know for sure is that I died, and that I have no memory of how I died. None. Well alright that's two things, sue me.

Unfortunately the afterlife seems a bit warm, moist even. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good sauna just as much as the next guy, but for all of eternity? yeah, that's not my scene. Well I guess a little warmth is better than literally being on fire, but where are all the clouds? The swingsets? In fact, why can't I open my eyes? Actually I can't even move at all?!

Don't tell me this is some crazy isekai novel or something?!?!

Well, no sense in delaying the inevitable.

Status?

Menu?

Stats?

System?

Display?

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...

I honestly don't know if I should be relieved or panicking right now, but I'm leaning towards the later.

Well, nothing for it I suppose. Maybe I just have sleep paralysis?

It didn't seem like anybody was going to answer my question, so I waited. Honestly I had tried listening already but not much progress there, so either I'm deaf, or just hard of hearing.

After waiting for what felt like several hours interspersed by the occaisonal impotent mental scream of rage, I started to notice something a little strange. I could be wrong, but It felt like I was moving up and down in a very slow and repetitive manner. I don't really know what it means, but I can't help but think that i might not actually dead and stuck in an eternal sauna of doom. Not yet anyways.

So as any person with a fleeting grasp on sanity would do, I tried to affect this feeling of rising and falling, and I'd been on a swing set often enough to know that if you want to stop moving you have to kick towards the direction your moving, and frankly I was getting a little sick of the constant movement.

Many innefective mental roundhouse kicks later, I couldn't help but get a little bored-

Board System initializing...

...

You've gotta be shitting me.