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I'm Actually A Fake Immortal Expert
Chapter 1: Mighty Mortal

Chapter 1: Mighty Mortal

An average-looking man finds himself lost in the middle of an unfamiliar forest. Just a moment ago, he traversed the streets of Joburg, rushing home to read Eastern fantasy novels, but the next moment, he found himself standing in the middle of unfamiliar lands.

"What is happening? Where am I? Where is this place? H-how did I come here?" The man who became confused by his unique situation panicked as he looked around, "I was just walking from my job, then the next moment, I fell in a hole that came out of nowhere." Looking at the unfamiliar and yet mesmerising landscapes, the man is puzzled by the beautiful scene before his eyes.

[CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO THE REAL WORLD OF IMMORTALS BY THE SIMPLE AND ELEGANT SYSTEM. CONGRATS MY GUY, YOU ARE THE FIRST AND NEW MASTER OF THE SYSTEM. FOR THIS ACHIEVEMENT, YOU HAVE BEEN REWARDED WITH 400 LARGE CRYSTALS AND 20 FLYING PILLS.]

The feminine voice resounded in Chico's mind while a text similar to that in video games appeared before his eyes.

"W-what?! Is... Is my dream of living in the fantasy world like in animes, manga, manhwa, donghua, and web novels realised?" The tall and ebony man named Chico bellowed with agitation, excited to hear and see the system's notification.

"Hehehe! Do I now have a system of my own? Oh yeah! Great! Excellent! What type of system did I get though? God system? Vampire system? Dragon system? Cultivation system or..."

[THAT... I... I AM WHAT IS CALLED 'MORTAL SYSTEM'. THE BEST SIMPLIFIED SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO TURN A DULL MORTAL LIKE YOURSELF INTO THE COOLEST MORTAL THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. HURRAY!]

Chico jumped for joy and said, "Hohoho! Oh yeah! Wait... what?" Chico paused in the middle of his celebration as his mind registered what he just heard from the system, "A mortal system? Uh! What kind of a system is that? That sounds lame."

[AHEM... YOU SEE... I AM THE SIMPLIFIED SYSTEM TO MAKE YOUR MORTALNESS WORTH IT!]

A dumbfounded and bizarre expression appeared on Chico's face. He quickly became bothered by what he just heard. If he is summoned into a weird fantasy world just to become a useless mortal, then it is better if he didn't get summoned at all. Whatever summoned him, it better send him back home to his ordinary world of boring science and technology.

"Sigh! Whatever! Can you show me my status, please? You should at least be capable of doing that." Chico let out a disappointed sigh, and again, his eyes glowed with vitality as his expectations rose again.

[Mortal Status]

Name: Chico

Age: 32 (Lifespan: 92)

Race: Human

Potential: None

Immortal level: None

Abilities:

-Fake Aura

-Immortal Technician

-Devine senses

-Online Shopping

Infinite Inventory:

-400 Large  Crystals

-20 Flying Pills

At first glance, Chico became disappointed, but his eyes lit up again as he witnessed the kind of abilities in his arsenal.

"Hehe, though there's nothing special about this bizarre system, my new abilities look promising. I might not have attacking abilities by the way things look, but I might enjoy having such a useless system like this, maybe." Chico lets out his disappointment as he laughs in defeat.

[HMPH! WHO ARE YOU CALLING USELESS?]

"You can still talk? Are you not ashamed? If I were you, I would hide if I was this useless. Sigh, Other people get overpowered systems with cool features, but what do I get? A mortal system! What kind of joke is that? What the hell is none potential anyway?"

[AH! UHM! MASTER, A NONE POTENTIAL MEANS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE ANY POTENTIAL FOR CULTIVATION AT ALL. AS THE MASTER OF A MORTAL SYSTEM, YOU'RE ILLEGIBLE FOR IMMORTAL CULTIVATION.]

"Wait-wait-wait! You bring a man to lie with you naked on a bed and expect him not to touch? How can you bring a fantasy lover to an immortal cultivation world and expect him not to pursue immortality? This is torture, I tell you. What kind of hell did I fall into? What kind of bad luck is this? Sigh, anyway, tell me more about this potential thingy." 

[UHM, YEAH, YOU SEE... THE MORTAL'S POTENTIAL TO BECOME AN IMMORTAL CULTIVATOR IS MEASURED IN TIERS. THE 1ST TIER IS THE LOWEST, AND THE 7TH TIER IS THE PEAK OF A POTENTIAL. YOU SEE, THE HIGHER THE POTENTIAL, THE BETTER THE SPEED OF CULTIVATION AND THE HIGHER THE CHANCES FOR REACHING TRUE IMMORTALITY.]

"Interesting." Chico let out excitement as he rubbed his chin with realization, "So, what about this immortal level thingy; Can you elaborate?"

[THE IMMORTAL LEVELS ARE THE CULTIVATION LEVELS AN INDIVIDUAL REACHES IN THEIR CULTIVATION WHEN ABSORBING THE ENERGY OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. THERE ARE 10 CULTIVATION STAGES. FROM THE LOWEST IN ASCENDING ORDER WE HAVE, CHANNEL OPENING, VITALITY ROOTS, SPIRITUAL SEED SHAPING, SPIRITUAL SEED MATURING, SOUL GERMINATION, SOUL PERFECTION, SOUL UNIFICATION, UNDYING BODY, TRUE IMMORTAL AND IMMORTAL GOD.]

"Wooh! Say what? It sounds cool though, but it is easy to forget such unique cultivation stages. Can you give me all the cultivation stages in detail? As a gamer and a certified Otaku, I am interested in such minor details.

[Immortal Levels]

Channel Opening stage: Open the channels with the cultivation technique.

-Stages: opening, full opening

-Difficulty: Easy and quick

-Gained abilities: None

-Longevity: 95 years lifespan

Vitality Roots: Form the spiritual roots by absorbing the energy of heaven and earth.

-Stages: formation stage, solidifying stage, matured roots

-Difficulty: Easy 

-Gained abilities: None 

-Longevity: 120 years lifespan 

Spiritual Seed Shaping: With the vitality roots, the energy of heaven and earth can be channelled into the abdomen to form the seed above the navel.

-Stages: early stage, advanced stage, final stage

-Difficulty: Normal

-Gained abilities: x2 strength, x2 agility 

-Longevity: 190 years lifespan 

Spiritual Seed Nurturing: The formed seed within the abdomen can be nurtured to its final form.

-Stages: early stage, advanced stage, final stage

-Difficulty: Normal

-Gained abilities: x 4 strength, x 4 agility, manipulation of heaven and earth energy, flight 

-Longevity: 380 years lifespan 

Soul Germination: The fully formed seed in the abdomen above the navel germinates to release the young soul.

-Stages: early stage, advanced stage, final stage

-Difficulty: Hard

-Gained abilities: x 8 strength, x 8 agility, manipulation of natural elements, telepathic communication

-Longevity: 760 years lifespan 

Soul Perfection: The young germinated soul is maturing to its perfection, able to come outside the body.

-Stages: early stage, advanced stage, final stage

-Difficulty: Normal 

-Gained abilities: x 14 strength, x 14 agility, summon elemental spirits, elemental domain, soul manipulation, soul avatar, control weather

-Longevity: 6080 years lifespan 

Soul Unification: The mortal soul and the perfected soul unify and defy the heavens to form a semi-immortal soul.

-Stages: early stage, advanced stage, final stage

-Difficulty: Hard (triggers catastrophic lightning)

-Gained abilities: x 22 strength, x 22 agility, short-range teleportation, enhanced senses

-Longevity: 19190 years lifespan 

Undying Body: The semi-immortal soul and the mortal body unify and defy the heavens to form the undying body.

-Stages: early stage, advanced stage, final stage

-Difficulty: Hard (triggers catastrophic lightning)

-Gained abilities: x 54 strength, x 54 agility, regrow body parts, long-range teleportation 

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

-Longevity: 2047880 years lifespan 

True Immortal: The true state of immortality in control of both time and space, as well as life and death.

-Stages: early stage, advanced stage, final stage

-Difficulty: Normal

-Gained abilities: x 88 strength, x 88 agility, greater teleportation, reincarnation, separation, life manipulation, space and time manipulation 

-Longevity: immortal lifespan 

Immortal God: The Divine Being who truly crossed the threshold of Immortality, transcending time, space and matter.

-Stages: early stage, advanced stage, final stage

-Difficulty: Hell (triggers impossible catastrophic lightning)

-Gained abilities: x 200 strength, x 200 agility, create life, create a planet, resurrect the dead, divine senses, eternal imprisonment

-Longevity: Unperishable

"Wowie! It looks like I came into a bad*ss world. This world excites me already. I can't wait to learn more. Now, educate me about my abilities, and please, they would rather not be lame and take my joy away." Chico said as he nervously placed the hand on his forehead with expectations in his heart.

[OKAY MASTER, I WILL BEGIN NOW! LET'S START WITH 'FAKE AURA'. IT IS THE ABILITY TO EXUDE A TERRIFYING AURA LIKE THE IMMORTAL GOD JUST TO SCARE THE WEAKLINGS TO TUG THEIR TAILS AND RUN LIKE STRAY DOGS. AN AWESOME ABILITY, RIGHT? AWESOME, RIGHT?]

Chico shook his head with disappointment, "I can't deny that the ability is awesome, but once I get sniffed out and exposed, everyone will know that my aura is just a facade to scare the pussycats away, won't I be beaten to death by others at that time?"

[...]

"Anyway, I need to experience how it feels to release the 'Fake Aura' ability."

 BOOM!

By just focusing, Chico instinctively released the slight aura without being told how to do it. He just slightly tested how the ability works without inviting any trouble, but little did he know that his action now alerted others.

By releasing the 'Fake Aura', Chico is akin to an ancient God. He is akin to a mighty figure that can make immortal cultivators wet their pants in terror if they were in his presence.

With a smile, Chico nodded with satisfaction. Though it's just a fake aura, he can't deny that this is a supernatural experience that he has experienced in his entire life. That feeling of powerfulness, even though fake and temporary, made Chico happy, but little did he know that his act to emit such a powerful aura, even the slightest, had caught the attention of other immortal cultivators.

"So, what is the 'Immortal Technician' ability all about? It sounds strange for a supernatural ability." Chico said it with a curious expression. The word 'technician' sounds weird to be put together with the word 'immortal' to name a thing in this fantasy world. As a denizen of planet Earth, the only thing that he could think of about the term 'technician' is something far more irrelevant to immortal cultivation. 

[THE 'IMMORTAL TECHNICIAN' IS YOUR MAIN ABILITY TO FIND SOLUTIONS, PERFORM CULTIVATION MAINTENANCE, AND GUIDE IMMORTAL CULTIVATORS TO FOLLOW THE CORRECT CULTIVATION PATHS. IT IS YOUR PROFESSIONAL SKILL TO INVESTIGATE, DEDUCE, AND PROVIDE SOLUTIONS FOR CULTIVATORS. 97% OF THE INFORMATION I PROVIDED TO YOU TODAY WAS COMPREHENDED USING THIS ABILITY. AS OF NOW, YOU ARE THE EXPERT WITH CULTIVATION-RELATED ISSUES; THIS NAME OF THE ABILITY COULD ALSO BE USED AS YOUR HONOURABLE TITLE IN THE CULTIVATION WORLD.]

Chico was left stunned with his mouth agape. Though the ability sounds bizarre, it is OP. The weird idea became installed in Chico's mind during this moment. If he could get cultivation knowledge as easily as pie, he could pretend to be a powerful expert to get fame, beautiful females, and high-quality treasures from others with ease. It looks like the system is not as useless as he thought.

"It looks like the system is not entirely useless after all. With an ability like that, I will surely become a famous figure. My name will spread far and wide, and my dream of having beautiful women follow me for the rest of my life will be realised." Chico said as his mouth drooled. He is probably thinking of something indecent.

[AHEM... YOU KNOW I CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS, MASTER?]

Chico's train of thought was interrupted by the system's voice. The lewd thoughts of those sexy fairies he saw in Manhwas popped like a balloon as he came back to reality.

"You can read what now? Who permitted you?" Chico bellowed with fury.

[SIGH!]

"Hey, answer me!" Chico said as he threw a fit.

[...]

"Fine. Anyway, what does the 'Divine Senses' ability do? Since the ability has a divine in it, it must be powerful, right? I think I saw the 'Divine Senses' under the Immortal God Stage abilities. This ability piqued my interest." Chico said as he tried to think and guess what the ability does.

[YOU THOUGHT IT RIGHT, MASTER. 'DIVINE SENSES' IS THE ABILITY TO SEE OTHER'S INFORMATION DETAILS, SENSE AURAS, DEDUCE POSSIBLE INTENTIONS, DETECT HOSTILITIES OR CALCULATE THE POSSIBLE FUTURE.]

"Hmph! You're still reading my mind?"  The bothered Chico said with displeasure. He doesn't feel comfortable knowing that his private thoughts are exposed to someone, even if that someone is just a system.

[THE MOMENT YOU BECAME MY MASTER, I AM A PART OF YOU, AND OF COURSE, I LIVE IN YOUR MIND AS WELL. THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULD HIDE YOUR THOUGHTS FROM ME.]

"Sigh, if you say so. This 'Divine Senses' ability also sounds OP, just like 'Immortal Technician'. Now, tell me about the last ability, 'Online Shopping'. What a weird ability for someone in the cultivation world to have." Chico said as he tried to guess what the ability actually does.

[JUST AS IT IS STATED. IT IS THE ABILITY WHERE YOU CAN TRADE WITH THE CRYSTALS PLACED IN YOUR INFINITE INVENTORY TO PURCHASE THE GOODS.]

"Crystals?"

[CRYSTALS ARE THE CURRENCY USED IN THIS CULTIVATION WORLD TO TRADE. THE SIZES OF CRYSTALS ARE CLASSIFIED AS EXTRA SMALL, SMALL, MEDIUM AND LARGE. THE LARGE ONES ARE EXTREMELY RARE, AND THE ONLINE SHOPPING ABILITY ONLY ACCEPTS LARGE CRYSTALS.]

Chico was stunned to know about such information. With such restrictions, it looks like he inherited a system that is weirder than he thought.

"Sigh! Whatever. What can be purchased in this online shopping thing anyway? Don't tell me that it is things from planet Earth?"

[Online Shopping]

-Eternal Pill - Cost: 50000 Large Crystals (The pill that gives immortal lifespan.)

-Enslavement Pill - Cost: 600 Large Crystals (The pill that can enslave any target.)

-Freedom Pill - Cost: 40 Large Crystals (The pill that can free any slave.)

-Longevity Pill - Cost: 300 Large Crystals (The pill that adds 1000 years to the lifespan.)

-Reincarnation Pill -  Cost: 400 Large Crystals (The pill that can reincarnate any living being.)

-Beauty Pill - Cost: 50 Large Crystals (The pill that  permanently beautifies the face.)

-Remoulding Pill - Cost: 50 Large Crystals (The pill that permanently reshapes the body.)

-Remedy Pill - Cost: 25 Large Crystals (The pill that heals any illnesses or injuries.)

Youthful Pill - Cost: 10 Large Crystals (The pill to remain youthful when ageing.)

-Flying Pill -  Cost: 5 Large Crystals (The pill that triggers the energy to float or fly for 3 hours.)

-Fasting Pill - Cost: 1 Large Crystal (The pill for immunity to hunger for 6 months.)

-Aphrodisiac Pill - Cost 1 Large Crystal (The pill that stimulates sexual desires for 2 days.)

"Wowie! Another awesome ability, but why only pills? What about powerful artefacts and weapons?" The puzzled Chico asked while still excited.

[NOTE! THE MORTAL SYSTEM IS A NON-VIOLENT SYSTEM. THE ENTIRE SYSTEM DESIGNED ITSELF TO SPECIFICALLY SUMMON YOU AS ITS MASTER. MOST CONCEPTS USED IN THE SYSTEM WERE DESIGNED TO SUIT YOUR NEEDS.]

"Bullsh*t! If it were by that logic, I would have received a system to be the God of all gods and immortals. All the beauties in this cultivation world would be mine by now." Chico bellowed with disagreement.

[...]

"Sigh, with just 400 large crystals in my infinite inventory, my choices are limited here. I desire many kinds of pills from this list. Sigh, I hope it will not be difficult to find an astronomical amount of large crystals in this world." Chico said with a worried gaze as he looked around, preparing to leave the area.

The breeze of fresh air brushed against his face, and the feeling of existing in this beautiful world of cultivation filled his heart with euphoria.

Glancing once again at his mortal status, Chico frowned as his elated heart became unsatisfied and filled with worries.

"If what the system said is true that I am in the fantasy world of immortals—my life expectancy is pathetic compared to immortal cultivators. With these 400 large crystals, I have no choice but to purchase a longevity pill to increase my lifespan. I will be parted with my 300 large crystals out of 400 just for one pill, but for 1000 years of lifespan, it is worth it." Chico said as he took out one large crystal from the infinite inventory to observe.

[DO YOU WISH TO PURCHASE 1 LONGEVITY PILL   WITH 300 OF YOUR LARGE CRYSTALS?]

"Yes!"

In an instant, a Longevity pill appeared in Chico's hand. The pill is glowing red with six golden lines. Chico quickly sent a large crystal back to the infinite inventory, and his eyes investigated the 'Longevity Pill' with great interest.

[Item Rank]

Name: Longevity Pill 

Rank: God Grade

Effects: +1000 Lifespan 

Chico's eyes widened with curiosity, "God Grade? What does this mean?"

[MASTER, THE TREASURE'S QUALITY AND POWER ARE MEASURED IN GRADES IN THIS WORLD. THIS PILL IS A GOD GRADE TREASURE, THE HIGHEST GRADE IN EXISTENCE.]

A list of grades appeared before Chico's eyes.

Treasure ranks:

-Low grade

-Medium grade

-High grade

-Superior grade

-Celestial grade

-God grade

"What a fine-looking pill. It is so smooth, round and warm. I wonder how such a God-grade pill tastes." Chico said as he quickly devoured the Longevity pill.

"Wowie! So yummy, It tastes like sweet mint"

[CONGRATULATIONS! AS A MORTAL, YOUR LIFESPAN HAS INCREASED BY 1000 YEARS.]

[Mortal Status]

Name: Chico

Age: 32 (Lifespan: 1092)

Race: Human

Potential: None

Immortal level: None

Abilities:

-Fake Aura

-Immortal Technician

-Devine senses

-Online Shopping

Infinite Inventory:

-100 Large  Crystals

-20 Flying Pills

"Not bad, not bad at all. At least I can live long enough, even as a pathetic mortal in this world of Immortal cultivators. Though I am a mortal, I will not let the Immortals look down on me. I will soon manipulate all of them to do my bidding." Chico said with a devilish smile as he became content with his current situation.

[WARNING! SIX POWERFUL AURAS OF IMMORTAL CULTIVATORS ARE APPROACHING THIS LOCATION WITH LIGHTNING SPEED.]

"I-immortal cultivators? Have I been found out?" Chico lets out a panic as a cold sweat drops from his forehead.

WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH!

Six people who came flying stopped right above Chico in the sky. With their poise as powerful figures, they emitted powerful auras, and their gazes portray their confidence in their strength.

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