Hello people. this is the author and first of all point out everything that you think needs to be written better, because this is my first time writing a fighting scene or just a story in general and i need al the support. Second of all give your opinion about the main character and how you want him to be. Personally i wanted to make a broken person that is crazy yet innocent, but if you guys want him a little differen { he has to be a little insane} please tell me.

This is all

Thank you all

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Chapter 1  The Hunt

POV: Random merchant

I’m running for my life right. I hear it chasing me.

While I run I stumble over a branch and fall down.

While i’m down I hear it laugh and i know it’s coming closer.

I get up and start running again. This was a mistake. I should not have gone through the forest.

I’m so afraid. I feel it coming closer and it makes me break in cold sweat.

I suddenly hear a high pitch sound and feel something dig through my back.

I fall on the ground and get on my back. I hear one of the branches break and feel someone landing on me. It’s the monster. I look at him while he sits on my chest.  It’s a young boy.

He looks around 7 to 8 years old and two different colored eyes. One is green and the other blue.

But the scary thing is the look in his eyes. It looks like he is enjoying this way too much.

The boy raises a black colored dagger in the air and I scream at him.

“Monster”

Then the dagger digs into my flesh and everything turns black.

[ 30 minutes ago, POV Monster]

 I hear voices in the distant.

That’s not normal.

I want to check it out, maybe it is food?

I start running through the trees towards the sounds.

When I come closer I hear that the sounds are made by people.

I start sneaking and look down from the trees and see a total of 6 people.

I see a carriage with hides, 5 people in weird shiny clothing that looks  like it’s hard [ The boy means iron armour] and 1 guy that has clothes on that look soft.

The people look unconcerned and start talking about things but I don’t understand.

“@!$###%!@^&$&@#@!!@#” [ weird clothing guy 1]

Then one of the other guys answers.

“%%$@#!!@@&**&^%$” [Weird clothing guy 2]

Then they both laugh and keep talking.

I’m curious and start following them. The guys with shiny clothing don’t look tasty, but the one without does. While I follow them i see something shine. It comes from the guy with the soft looking clothes. It is some kind of bracelet around his arm. it is a river shaped bracelet with gold and in the middle of it is a deep dark red bread and looks really shiny and nice.

I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it

I look careful at the five people with shiny clothing and wait until the one that’s the furthest away from the group is right beneath me and I pull out Arvan.

Arvan is a black coloured dagger with red lines going across the handle. It looks pretty cool, but you don’t want it to cut you, because it inflicts a huge amount of pain. Trust me, I know from experience.

Anyway, I wait until the weird clothed guy is right beneath me and

I drop

My feet hits his shoulder and I lung out Avran to cut his neck. I succeed and blood sprays out of the wound. The guy doesn’t even make a sound. I land on the ground and start running towards my second victim. I stab my dagger at the moment he turns around and hit him in the abdomen. Fortunately it pierces through the clothing and I start smiling. Victim #2 starts screaming and the rest of the guys turn around towards. Pulling out their swords except for one. He starts chanting or something like that.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I ignore victim #2 and run towards victim number #3 because he’s the closest. He swings his sword and I have to dodge it by throwing myself forward trough his legs, but while I do that I cut his left ankle.

Victim #3 grunts and tries to turn around but I’m already on my feet and grabs his hair and cut his throat.

This happened in a matter of 3 seconds, but the guy that started talking stops and suddenly he holds a ball of fire. It looks dangerous so I keep looking at it while I slowly close in on victim number four. While I slowly walks towards victim number four, the guys are screaming at me and talking to each other.

I leap towards the fourth victim, but the guy holding the fire throws the fire at me. I panic and jump backwards. Victim number uses this chance to attack me and I parry his sword at the last second, but he is stronger than me and I’m pushed backwards and almost let go of Arvin.

I again leap towards the fourth victim and use a feint as if I’m attacking from the right. The victim tries to parry the feint, but realises too late that it is a feint. I take a step forwards and push my dagger into his side and laugh when I hear his scream.

It feels good to stab things and wound things.

I finish the victim of and see the last two victims. One of the guys shouts something at the other and starts mumbling. The guy with the soft looking clothes starts running into the forest.

I laugh when he starts running. This will be fun.

Then the guy in front of me stops talking and I see an ice sword appear out of nowhere. It launches at me and I can’t dodge . The sword pierces my tummy and I start groaning out loud.

It hurts, It hurts so much.

I sink on one knee and start groaning and crying. I try to look up and I see that the guy takes out a dagger. After he takes out the dagger he approaches me and I start to get scared. Then a memory comes up. A memory that I hoped I would never see again. I see my older sister, falling on the ground, while blood comes out of her mouth. I scream in rage when I remember the memory and rushes towards the guy with the dagger.

The guy staggers a bit, right before I stab him into the heart. He looks down in shock, while I grow more enraged by the second. I push him and pull the dagger out of his chest.

The only thing that I can think is HUNT, HUNT, HUNT.

I start running, while still feeling the pain in my tummy, but I ignore it.

I hear the guy with the soft clothes running, I smell him, I want to kill him.

While running I pick up a rock and climb into a tree. Then I start jumping from tree to tree, while searching for the guy. Then I see him. I aim at him and throw the stone. It hits his back and he falls down. I laugh, because I’ve got my prey. I jump down and land right on top of him.

When I’m on top of him I’m laughing in my head. I have my prey. It’s mine.

I relax and look the merchant in the eyes. He looks scared as hell, but it’s fine. He’s gonna die anyway.

The merchant looks at me and screams one word.

“Monster”

To make him shut up I raise Arvan and stab him into the heart. I watch as he dies and then I’m reminded of the pain. I look down and I see that the wound is too much for me to handle. I will die if I don’t do something. But I can do something. I can use my ability, but I hate it, because im afraid to lose the last memories of my sister.

I steady my mind and whisper [Fantasiar]

Then I feel my body healing, but everything begins to look blurry. I look at my own hand and can’t even count my fingers. Darkness starts invading my mind and the last thing that I think is

“Who is the guy beneath me ?”