Hi I'm Charlie Freider I'm a true blue Brit, and my Dad's a politic Well he's not just some politic he's in parliament.
"OI Charles why the bloody fuck are you telling me this" You may ask.
Well the problem stems from the fact that politics suck and people are crazy, as we speak i am being dismembered by a guy who hates my dads guts.
"Oi FUCK'ED hurry up and finish me" I screamed while he was preparing more tools. "What the fuck how are you not screaming in pain?" The man said to which i replied with a simple. "I don't feel pain on account of aving no nerves you dipshit" I said and let out a maniacal laugh.
"Shut the fuck up you bloke" The man yelled. "NONCE" I screamed back at him "AHAHHAHAHAH" i let out as the blood spilled down my head. "STOP" The man screamed. "Oi You dumb fuck, you really think you can get at my pops by killing me, that old bastard has a heart of ice aha ahah Bet you're enjoying yourself mate" I said with a smug face.
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"Your not scared of death?" The man asked "Course not you fuck head my dads a politic and a bigwig one at that, i want to fucking die. every day of my life is so monotone and boring especially being a goody little two shoes" I said through a slight chuckle. "Well why the fuck am i torturing you?" The man said in a questioning manner "Don't know mate I'm not the one that gets a hard on by torturing men hah" My Last word were ridicule as i soon realized the fucker couldn't stand me and bashed my head in.
My only Qualm is that i couldn't feel pleasure, I was a virgin because what's the point in avin sex if i feel nothing? Anyways this sucks, I guess there's no heaven for me. Wait what the fuck did i do to not get into heaven i was such a good fucking boy ask me mum "Shit i sound like a brat, Whatever this eternal Darkness sucks" I thought to myself and i soon closed my eyes.
Soon i regained conscious and when i looked around I was surrounded by Glowing yellow eyes. "OI what the fuck is this I'm dead" I thought to myself as the eyes turned to me.
"Oi Back off the lot of you, Wait why the bloody hell do i ave fur?"