To be honest, my life is already over.
And I’m not being nihilistic or pessimistic or whatever it’s called. It’s genuinely over. Take a look around you, this world is soaked in tragedy.
The carbon dioxide exhaust rate won’t go down, Russia will conquer the world, Kanye West will receive a Nobel Prize in literature… and in a hundred years you’ll be dead, I’ll be dead, we’ll all be dead.
Oh, and that adorable pet of yours will get hit by the front wheels of an eight wheeler truck and die. I'm sorry to tell you the news, but what can you do?
This is the truth.
I wasn’t like this from the beginning, believe me. Back in the day, I used to be starry-eyed and the righteousness in my chest flopped around like a mackerel fresh out of water. To be specific, I was like this until a month ago.
However, after my favorite game Saint Society got shut down, I politely recycled my hopes and dreams into the trash. It… it meant alot to me, okay? I’m not overreacting.
So like many wise individuals have said, if you’re done being sad then drink a beer.
That's why, right now, I’m standing in a convenience store with sixty cans of beer.
“T-That’ll be forty-two dollars and ten cents sir…”
The part-timer at the register gives me a look as if asking, ‘Excuse me, it’s not of my concern but is your life okay like this?’. Balancing the cans carefully, I coolly swipe my card and walk towards the door.
So what.
I’m rich. If you have a problem, come at me.
Beep!
“Sir, your card was declined…?”
I lower my head and hasten my pace.
“S-Sir! You need to pay!”
“Fuck this.”
I break into a sprint and run out the store, dropping a few cans in the process.
Adieu.
----------------------------------------
“This is the life…”
After making my way home, I was silently moved to tears.
Trash is littered on all four sides of me, and the desk with my monitor on top was especially impressive.
The Empire of Empty Cup Ramens and the Republic of Empty Beer Cans were conquering the desk–continent, and having their own world war while drawing all kinds of geometrical nation borders. In this world, I’m what you would call an absolute god. If it’s unfavorable for the Empire then I’d add an empty cup of ramen. If it’s unfavorable for the Republic then I’d add a beer can.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that thanks to me, the balance is kept on this continent…
At that moment, a notification appeared on the side of my monitor.
Ding!
An email arrived. Moving my mouse, I clicked to open it.
[Thank you for enjoying Saint Society. We are doing a survey in order to gauge interest for a potential sequel. Participants will be able to gain a chance to become a beta tester for the next installment!]
My heart almost stopped as my eyes scanned the words.
A dark fantasy RPG game, Saint Society.
Become a fantasy hero and subjugate the demon lords.
It’s a piece of media that I would say is a core part of who I am.
The difficulty was a bit strange, so it was incredibly challenging. In the first playthrough, I could barely defeat the mid-boss. Second run, third run, sixteenth run, I was narrowly able to reach the final stage.
But every single run after that, from the one hundredth to even the one thousandth, I was unable to defeat the final boss.
I religiously grinded the game, starting from middle school until one month ago, when it was unceremoniously shut down and removed from all platforms. It would be an understatement to say that I cried tears of pure agony and despair.
Ten years of my life was practically deleted, but now that a potential sequel is on the table, I forgive the developers of Saint Society. Mostly.
click
I try to calm my breathing as I accept the survey with a click of my mouse. It’ll probably ask me questions like; was the difficulty reasonable (NO!), were the NPC’s memorable (YES!), was the story good (YES!), do you forgive the developers for shutting the game down (HELL NO!). You know, stuff like that.
A new page opened up on my monitor screen as I started the survey.
[1. In the end, I prefer ass!]
[2. In the end, I prefer breasts!]
“...”
A completely unpredictable Mr. Question has appeared.
This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.
I grasped onto my mind that went blank for a moment.
What is this, a joke? Are proper questions going to come out after this?
After thinking for a moment, I chose the first option. If you are someone with common sense, then it’s only reasonable to select number one. Now that I think about it, if you are someone who chooses number two, then you are nothing more than an unrefined monkey who has zero elegance.
On the white screen, the second question appeared after I clicked on the first option.
[1. In the end, I get excited when I hit someone…!]
[2. In the end, I get excited when I get hit by someone…!]
“Oh come on, man.”
I tear my headphones off my head and rub the bridge of my nose.
What kind of survey is this, really.
The periods combined with the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence makes it feel uncomfortably vivid. It's as if you're confessing your secret sexual desires, doesn’t it…!
Anyways, I glare at the monitor with a disgusted look.
For now, I selected the first option. To be hit or to hit. If I had to choose between the two, then I could only choose the latter. I’ve heard that there are groups of people in this world who feel pleasure from pain, but thankfully I’m not a pervert.
[1. I prefer a high difficulty.]
[2. I prefer a low difficulty.]
After that, I got normal quality questions.
They most likely placed the weird questions in the front to capture the users’ attention.
Should I compliment them for being smart, or complain about it being… weird?
[1. I solve my problems with knowledge.]
[2. I solve my problems with strength.]
Without any hesitation, I chose number one.
I stopped trying to solve my problems through force since the time I got beat up by the girl sitting next to me in kindergarten. People called humans like me a ‘refined pacifist’.
[1. I utilize other people’s secrets.]
[2. I keep other people’s secrets.]
Once again, with no hesitation, I chose number one.
During kindergarten, once I obtained the information that the girl sitting next to me wet her bed every morning, I took advantage of it as much as possible. After having done so, I learned the greatness of information. Diplomatic studies call this kind of politics ‘armed neutrality’.
[1. Friendship means to use the other as a stepping stone.]
[2. Friendship means to go forward together towards the same goal.]
I don’t know who it was, but they need to give a round of applause to the staff who made option number one.
Now that I think about it, I’ve been only choosing the first option. It must mean that number 1 points to normal, and everyone who chooses number 2 is abnormal.
After about thirty questions had passed, a question with a different format was displayed for the first time.
[Humanity has fallen.]
[Yes]
[No]
I stopped my mouse.
…It was a question purposely made abstract.
Actually, can it even be called a question? It’s a statement.
Anyways, it was a sentence that only players who very faithfully played the game could understand.
Saint Society.
The Hero goes on a grand quest to slay the Demon King.
A simple and cliche structure.
However… in the end, the world probably arrives at total destruction. The reason why the word ‘probably’ was included was simple.
Nobody has reached the ending of Saint Society, myself included.
So this is merely the conclusion I came to on my own while going through the campaign.
In Saint Society, the seven Demon Lords, servants of the Demon King, are owners of magical energy. They are filled to the brim with condensed magical energy, so when they are killed off…
The magical energy will overflow.
Think of multiple dams collapsing at the same time and causing a flood.
A pessimistic world outlook… it suited my taste.
I mouthed the word ‘yes’ and clicked my mouse. As if the survey was calculating something, it took a couple of seconds before the next question appeared.
The sentence that appeared on the screen was abstract again.
[If it were you, could you find the ending?]
[Yes]
[No]
I raise a finger to my jaw, a wistful smile on my face.
I wonder.
Across my countless playthroughs, I’ve found that playing selfishly always leads to an early bad ending.
The key it’s to unite all the races against the Dmon Lords and the King.
To protect everyone, not just the elves, dwarves, beastfolk… but the monsters and demons too.
To find unity…
Heh.
According to the setting, the ‘good’ races and ‘evil’ races have been going at each other for nearly 3,000 years.
It’d probably be easier to make the leader of Islamic extremists shake hands with the president of the United States.
Is it even possible…?
I started thinking.
Then I thought some more.
And…
[Yes]
The sound of a click rang, and at the same time.
“…!”
A bright white light shined from my monitor screen.
This was the last thing I could remember.
A bell chimed somewhere. No, it could have been the sound of an explosion. The feeling of the world around me being flipped— as if my brain was being expanded on all four sides.
My hearing went numb and everything felt distant.
My vision kept blinking.
I couldn’t move my eyelids on my own accord.
As if someone else was opening and closing my eyes for me.
My conscience stopped.
Then.
And then…!
[The tutorial shall now begin.]
[Best of luck, Hero!]
And then the strangest and longest dream began.