We worked mostly in silence.

I would have preferred some background music or something, but I got the sense that Claire was one of those weird people who preferred working to the tune of their own thoughts.

Still, there was enough bird chatter and general ambient noise coming from the windows that it wasn’t awkward.

The two of us were in some attic-y space in one of the spire protrusions of the First Year Building. It was one of those weird pseudo places optimized for the comfort of wooden beams and dust instead of, you know, actual human beings.

I tied off yet another ribboned present box to a long length of bright rope. The rope was attached firmly to a yet uninflated balloon.

The balloons were pretty big. Not hot air balloon big, but big enough to carry off a small dog or two. They were also way heavier than I had thought and weirdly defeated looking in their uninflated state.

“Okay,” said Claire, rising up from her half. “I’m ready.”

“Gotcha,” I said, finishing off yet another knot. “I still got a few more to go.”

I worked on despite the clear ‘tsk’ I heard from behind me. In a way it was deserved. We had started at the same time after all. Claire was just freakishly competent.

When we were done, we had twenty or so of the balloon presents set up and ready to go near the windows.

“Think this one will work?” I asked as I began attaching pumps to the various balloons.

“With luck,” responded Claire. “If not, we adjust and try something else.”

I nodded.

“I have a good feeling about this one.”

“Oh?” Claire looked up from monitoring the gas canisters. “Why is that?”

Because it felt like something I’d see in a manga.

“This feels more like Deck’s style,” I said.

“Mhm.” She turned away, thoroughly unimpressed. “If I recall, you said the animatronic monster in the lake would be ‘Deck’s style’.”

The memory flashed through my mind. Deck walking blithely past a giant shadow in the middle of the lake, while Claire tsked in the background.

“Okay maybe that one was a bit too bizarre.” I conceded. “But on the plus side, you now have access to a giant animatronic dinosaur should the need arise.”

“Mhm.”

Claire attached the last of the pumps to the balloons and pressed a button. They began to fill up rapidly, swelling happily at their various starting windows.

There was nothing much to do but to wait for the balloons to finish filling.

“Everything appear to be in order?”

I looked around. The various balloons looked hole free, the ropes looked quite sturdy and ropey, and the present boxes looked quite functional in their role as boxes.

“Sure.” I said. “Actually wait.” I moved and pushed a balloon that hadn’t quite made it out the window. “Now, sure.”

Claire rolled her eyes and pressed the big red button.

The weights anchoring the balloons in place released, sending the present laden balloons out into the open air.

Sounds of student exclamation began immediately. Curiosity soon became chaos.

“It’s out!” someone shouted out. “The funding boxes are out!”

“The sports club needs that funding!”

“Like hell it does!”

“Melt down some of those trophies you don’t have if you need more funds!”

“Nobody let the meteorologists or athletes get a head start!”

Claire glanced out the window and gave me a curt nod.

“With any luck that should buy us a few hours.” She held up a walkie talkie. “My people on the floor will report should anything go awry.”

“More awry than usual you mean.”

“That goes without saying.”

We left the balloon room and began towards the Deck Planning Room. Along the way we braced against the tide of students rushing outdoors.

“So is it really okay to decide club budgets based on this kind of thing?” I asked when the swell of students finally passed. “I mean, I know part of the point was for the event to be chaotic enough to be a Deck attractor, but still.”

“Some sort of challenge is traditional,” said Claire, walking forward. “Believe it or not, this is actually one of the more egalitarian methods in recent years.” Claire sniffed. “Weather tends to be resistant to bribery.”

We made it to the Deck Planning Room.

I closed the door behind us.

Outside, chaos reigned, but we two sat calmly in our established seats, content in the eye of the storm.

Well, calm but tense.

The plan was in motion, but we weren’t out of the woods quite yet. We’d done the equivalent of putting out the most intricate and delicate bait possible, precisely calibrated for one unpredictable, crazy target.

It just so happened that bait for the target in question meant fluffing up enticing bizarre situations.

I doodled absently on a nearby piece of paper, while Claire shuffled about, reorganizing some folders and tidying up. Mostly we tried to avoid sneaking glances at the walkie-talkie sitting on the open desk.

We didn’t want to jinx it.

The walkie-talkie in question buzzed into attention.

Both of us froze, staring as the object emitted the frizzy telltale static. Finally, there was the sound of a voice.

“Confirmation.” buzzed the voice on the other end. “Subject D has joined the proceedings.”

“Yes!” I fist pumped the air. Claire cheered. I put out my hand and she even did me the honor of returning my high five.

“Woo!”

Claire smiled. “Indeed.”

It was a paradigm shift. Columbus landing on the moon. We had successfully planned and executed an event that attracted Deck. History had been made. We of the Deck Planning Committee nodded to each other, sharing a brief moment of unity.

*

Most of the day’s events were over.

What followed resolved in the usual Deck fashion.

From what I could gather from frenetic drone footage and shellshocked second hand accounts, Deck had corralled the sports students into some kind of human pyramid that had at some point transcended through sheer sportsdom into a unified human shaped amalgam bristling with bats and racquets.

Claire and Lene had made their token appearances. Bees had been deployed to bring down a number of balloons in the Horticulutral Club airspace, and Lene had been spotted casually hopping and rappelling across campus rooftops.

And for once, I had not been a part of it.

Or so I had thought.

I should have known better than to think I could get out of the day doing nothing else.

“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” I asked.

Claire was ahead of me, slicing at foliage with a machete. Somehow we were waist deep in wildlife, in the middle of some untamed forestry that for some reason was deemed educational enough to be a core component of the Hielgard Campus.

Claire paused for a moment before responding. I could hear the suppressed sigh in her voice.

“A couple of the balloons flew way off course. We’re finding them for clean up.”

I gestured pointedly around us.

“We can’t just leave it in the middle of this untamed forest?”

“No.” said Claire patiently. “That would be littering.”

Claire stopped for a moment to wipe at her sweat. I waited politely until she was done consulting the small GPS tracker in her hand. She frowned at the device, then repocketed it.

“Okay, fine.” I said. “We’re finding balloons. I get that. But like, why us. Why not one of your legions of staff?”

Claire gestured down at her maid regalia.

“Technically, I am a member of the cleaning staff.”

I gave Claire a thoroughly unimpressed look.

“That’s a disguise.” I said flatly. “A costume. For disguising purposes.”

“Of course it’s a disguise.” said Claire. “That doesn’t mean it’s just a disguise. I meant what I said before. I. Am. Excellent. At. Cleaning.”

Each word was punctuated by another swipe of the machete. The greenery was really extremely thick.

I frowned, stepping over a weird brownish shrub. It looked sticky, coated with some shining grime.

“Wait, do you mean you actually go around cleaning stuff when you’re dressed as a maid?”

“Of course I do.” Claire frowned, pausing in her machete work. “Did you think I went around everywhere disguised as a maid and just not do any work?”

“Uh, yes?”

Claire gave me the kind of disappointed look you’d give an insect after it failed to keep on the little hat you so painstakingly tailored for it.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

“What? I said defensively. “I thought that was the whole point of being fabulously wealthy. You can pay people to do the stuff you don’t want to. Or to look the other way.”

Claire began macheting again.

“That is not how it works.”

I dodged a thin branch that almost whapped me on the head.

“Why not?” I asked curiously.

“For one, what kind of message would that send to my staff?”

“Does it matter? If they don’t like it you could just hire new ones. Like I said, isn’t that the whole point of money?”

Claire shook her head.

“The Sutherlands employ maids and butlers of the highest quality. People who have been trained since they were children. They are proficient in etiquette, languages, housekeeping, literature, art—”

I wiggled my eyebrows. “The sexual arts?”

“No, not sexual arts.” sighed Claire. “In any case, they know their value.”

Claire lifted up some vines draped over the barely visible footpath.

“Good staff doesn’t grow on trees. If they find their employer lacking,” Claire grunted as she swiped through them in one clean motion. “It is a simple enough matter to seek out greener pastures.”

“So you’re beholden to them?” I frowned. “That sounds backwards.”

“Not beholden, no.” said Claire. “It is a matter of expectation. I am yet young, and do not possess the full authority of a full-fledged member of my family. They would not take kindly to being assigned such a task. Especially when it is the result of their employer’s mistake.”

“Huh.” I watched as Claire clambered gracefully up some uneven rocks. “I suppose that makes sense.”

“Happy to be of service.” said Claire dryly.

Claire took out the GPS and frowned down at it again.

“How close are we anyways?” I asked.

“We’re close.”

“How close?”

“...Five minutes away.”

I frowned. “That’s what you said five minutes ago.”

“And that is because it said the same thing five minutes ago,” snapped Claire, passing me the GPS. “Look for yourself.”

I held the little handheld display. Sure enough I saw a little target dot of our balloon just a bit away. The estimated time read ‘5 minutes’.

“Huh.” I looked up around us at the surrounding forest. It had started looking a lot more jungley as the sky darkened. “Is it possible we got turned around?”

Claire looked at me blankly. “While using a GPS? No, I don’t think so.”

“So what, the device is faulty?”

Claire shook her head.

“I considered that, but look.” Claire pointed. Behind us was the unbroken path we had cut through. “We’ve been moving in a straight line. And the other signals are visible without error.”

Sure enough, the rest of the GPS dots were clearly gathered in a cluster behind us in the campus proper.

“Huh. Weird.”

“Indeed.”

My frown intensified. This was starting to feel horror story-ish

“So if the GPS is working, and the indicator is right…” I frowned at the device. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” said Claire. “But it seems fruitless to continue ahead without confirming things one way or another.”

Claire plunged the machete down into the dirt and removed her backpack.

She pulled out a drone, because of course she did.

I rolled my eyes, which Claire ignored.

In just a few seconds, Claire’s drone took to the air and whizzed up above the canopy of trees.

I watched from over Claire’s shoulder as she directed the drone. A small map indicator flickered at the top right of the UI.

I held the GPS next to her controller so she could estimate the general position.

“I think you’re just about above it now.” I said.

Claire guided the drone masterfully into the trees. I watched as the drone weaved its way down through a web of branches and foliage.

Then we saw it.

It was hard to understand exactly what we were seeing at first. Movement. Then the realization that what was moving was a part of a whole. Something huge. And green.

There was a rush of motion and the screen blacked out.

Text flared in red:

SIGNAL LOST.

Claire and I looked at each other, then back down at the GPS. The red dot representing the balloon began to move fast towards us. Before we could even start to move, it was upon us, red dot overlapping with ours.

There was the sound of a rustle from somewhere in the surrounding thickage.

It wasn’t a stealthy rustle.

It was one of those full-bodied movie rustles of a big boy animal effortlessly exerting mass to push the world around it.

I bumped into Claire. We had unconsciously moved closer together.

“Are there wild animals in this forest?” I hissed.

“The Hunting Club releases game into the grounds on a regular basis,” Claire whispered back.

“Okay. So that’s a...” I considered the size. “A moose or something.”

“No,” said Claire slowly. “It is not the right season. And whatever that is, it sounds larger than a moose.”

There was another rustle. Closer now.

Claire held the machete in both hands.

A horrible thought struck me during a time filled with horrible thoughts.

“Is it possible,” I said, glancing down at the GPS in my hands. “That the balloon is still five minutes away because something was moving it?”

“Shush.” Her eyes flicked back and forth along the trees.

There was yet another rustle, even louder than the last.

The sky was darkening at an alarming rate. It was like time was moving faster. All of the sound of the surroundings fell away, leaving nothing but the sound of our own breathing heavy in our ears.

“We are going to run.” said Claire calmly.

I thought about this. “Don’t predators chase things that run?”

“If you wish to test that theory, you are welcome to it.” said Claire. “Myself, I am running.”

As Claire turned to do just that, she froze.

In front of her, standing directly in the path we had carved out towards campus, was a Monster.

It loomed, staring at us with large green eyes the size of dinner plates. It wasn’t just its eyes either, but its fur too. Head to hoof it was covered in green, mossy fur. It looked...it looked a lot like deer actually, just scaled up and with no antlers.

It reached out with a hoof that could crush my skull.

“FOOTAGE.” It demanded.

Claire’s eyes were wide with shock.

“It can talk,” she said wonderingly.

The creature advanced menacingly.

“FOOTAGE.” It demanded again.

Slowly, with my hands up where the monster could see them, I leaned towards Claire.

“I think it wants the drone footage,” I stage-whispered.

“I don’t— what?”

“FOOTAGE.” The creature demanded again. “ERASE FOOTAGE.”

I took the drone controller from Claire’s hands and held it up in the air so the creature could see it.

Then as gently as I could, I tossed it in the direction of the monster.

It crushed the technology underfoot into bits of plastic and metal. The creature stomped again and again. When it was done, there was little left except scattered bits flattened into the dirt.

It huffed with triumph then seemed to be about to leave.

“That didn’t erase it,” Claire called out. “It’s saved on the Cloud.”

Both the monster and I stared at Claire.

“Why.” I hissed. “Why would you say that?”

Claire shrugged helplessly.

“I don’t know the rules.” she said. “It seemed best not to lie to the giant creature.”

“ERASE.” The creature said again. “OR DIE.”

“I can access the cloud with my phone!” Claire called out. “I’m going to do it with the screen facing towards you so you can see it and make sure I’m not calling someone or something.”

Claire opened her storage app with her phone.

“This folder is the one with drone footage from Drone B.” called out Claire. “I’m going to play the video for you to confirm it.”

She pressed the screen. Then raised the volume up.

I heard the digital speakers struggle to recreate forest noises. There was the sound of air as the drone took to the sky. Weaving through the trees. Then the monster. The monster seemed to almost react with pain at the part of the video where it was briefly visible. Finally there was the crash when it struck the drone out of the air.

The video ended.

“That’s the video,” said Claire. “I’m deleting it now.”

She held her finger down on the thumbnail then pressed the red prompt that said DELETE.

Then Yes when it asked Are You Sure?

“It’s done.” she said. “It’s deleted.”

The monster seemed to hesitate, obviously thrown off by the near disaster with the whole digital cloud situation.

“BACKUPS?” it asked. “WHERE PHYSICAL COMPUTER? MUST DESTROY.”

Claire and I gave each other worried looks.

“Cloud saves aren’t tied to personal computers.” I explained. “It’s tied to rows and rows of computers in some server farm somewhere. I’m pretty sure it’s unrecoverable.”

The monster fidgeted.

“WHERE SERVER FARM?”

“I can look it up,” said Claire. She fidgeted with her phone, then turned making sure that the screen was pointed towards the creature so it could see what she was doing.

“It looks like our region’s servers are hosted a few miles away in the city.” Claire explained. “If you can get in you can destroy it.”

The monster nodded. It looked weary, but determined.

“It’s like one instance out of like hundreds though,” I said. “Maybe thousands. I don’t know if you can break in to find the specific server to make sure it’s unrecoverable.”

The monster blinked it’s large dinner plate eyes.

Claire glared at me. “What are you doing?” She hissed.

“I don’t know. The same thing you were.” I hissed back.

Claire groaned. She held her head to her temple.

“Okay, I think I got it. What we can do is this.” She turned towards the monster.

“I’m going to set it up to change my account’s password, then pass the phone over to you to set a new password that I can’t see so I don’t have access to my account anymore. That way, I’m locked out of my account so I can’t ask them to recover the video.”

The monster blinked languidly, then nodded.

“Wait, can’t you ask to reset your password if you have access to the email that you created the account with?” I asked.

The monster turned its head towards me, then back to Claire.

“Then we’ll change the password of my email too!” said Claire angrily.

Claire thumbed her way through the Settings until she reached the reset password place. She put in her old password, then turned the phone towards the Monster.

It leaned down, eyes illuminating the darkened ground like spotlights. It turned towards me with a look of exasperation.

“Claire,” I said, seeing the problem. “It can’t put in the new password. It has hooves. Your phone won’t register the input.”

“You do it then.” hissed Claire. “Put in the new password in front of it so it can see you put in something random.”

“That won’t work,” I hissed back. “I can’t just put in something totally random. New passwords need you to put in the same thing twice.”

Claire groaned.

“Do you have a paper and pen in that backpack?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” I turned back towards the Monster. “What we’re going to do is write down a password that is arbitrarily long, like fifty characters or something so it’s basically impossible to remember and I won’t show it to Claire here.”

The monster regarded me cautiously.

“We’ll use that to reset both Claire’s Cloud account password and email password, then I dunno burn it here or leave the paper with you. That work?”

The monster considered this, then nodded slowly.

“Email password.” Claire passed the phone to me.

I jotted down a long sequence of random numbers and characters, the copied it over to the password field.

“Password changed.” I declared.

I passed the phone back to Claire. She thumbed her way over to the Cloud settings and put in her old password there as well.

“Cloud password.” Claire passed the phone to me again.

I jotted down a totally new sequence of random numbers and letters for good measure and put in the inputs when the monster nodded in agreement.

“Password changed.” I declared again.

Claire and I both looked up at the monster nervously. It huffed, then nodded.

“What do you want to do with the password papers?” I asked. I held up the notebook. “I can rip out the pages and the ones behind it so we can’t recreate the passwords based on the indent.”

The monster tilted its head. Then it leaned forward and took the notebook in its mouth and swallowed it in one smooth motion.

“Right,” I said, rubbing my fingers nervously along my shirt. The monster’s teeth had been as large as my fists. “That solves that then.”

The monster rose again to its full height and regarded us.

For a moment I wondered if it was stupid what we did. Maybe now we had erased proof of its existence it would simply kill us.

The monster blinked its large green eyes.

“LEAVE.”

We did as we were told. Claire and I picked up our things and booked it. We didn’t stop till we reached the edge of the forest.

There we stood for a moment, heaving and panting, staring wide-eyed into each other’s faces.

“We never speak of this again.” said Claire.

I nodded in agreement.

We left in separate directions, heading home.

*

Later, much later, Sarah walked out of the forest holding a present box.

She stowed it in her garden, then went home rubbing at her stomach. Eating paper didn’t agree with her.