Shannon eyed me, looking me up and down. She bit her lip and shook her head. Finally, she said, “You can’t wear that. A white shirt and black pants? Please? My sisters will eat you.”

“I was going to wear a jacket over the shirt,” I said, defending myself. “You’ll like it better once I get the suit coat over top.”

“No. I won’t,” she retorted. “You look hot. The coat probably makes you look even hotter. I bet the tailoring in the back makes your hips and back look smoldering, but I really don’t know how my family will react to you, and those colors are fated to murder us. I feel like ink pranks are in the air. They’ll ruin your shirt in one way and your pants in a completely different way.”

She was wearing a turtleneck because she didn’t want anyone to see the remaining smudges of ink that we hadn’t been able to get off her neck yet. She’d paired it with blue jeans and boots.

“I’ll just go through your closet,” she offered. “It will be faster.”

“I don’t have a closet,” I said as I chased her up the stairs and back into my apartment.

I spotted her going through my boxes. “Blue jeans. That will work best for the bottoms. And as for the top… why do I want to find you something printed? Do you have a shirt with a print?”

“The clothes you’re recommending for me sound like they’ll get ruined by an ink prank just as easily as what you’re saying I can’t wear,” I reminded her as I reached for the top button on my pants.

She backed off and her face went very red. “Sorry. You look fine just the way you are. Where’s your coat?”

“In my car,” I replied as I refolded the clothes she’d pulled out of my dresser.

I smiled at her.

Her mother was making dinner for us at her family home out in the suburbs. I didn’t know what to expect, but I imagined something like my parents’ home. I hadn’t been brought home to meet the family very often. Usually, the woman I was dating ran into her parents when she was with me. We’d be leaving the movie theater and they’d be there too and that’s how we’d meet. She’d fluster her way through an introduction because she’d had no intention of ever introducing me to them. No Sunday dinner for me. But Shannon was bringing me home for Sunday dinner.

I felt a little like squealing.

On the drive over, Shannon was agitated and kept moving her hands and talking quickly. “I told you about my family, right? Who knows what terrible surprises they’ll have waiting for us?”

“They know we’re getting married, right?”

“Of course they know. I took my sisters to buy my wedding dress with me, not you. They asked me a million questions about you and I did my best not to give them any answers.”

“What kind of questions?”

“Your shoe size. Your exact height. Your waist measurement. Sage thinks I couldn’t be in love with you if I don’t know your waist measurement.” Shannon took a few quick inhales. “Don’t open any doors when you’re at my parents’ house. The only time you can open a door is if you’re leaving a bathroom. Otherwise, knock on the door until someone answers it. Don’t move a partially open door either. Just don’t touch any of the doors!”

“What? You think they’d prop a bucket of water over a door and let me get splashed? That seems pretty juvenile.”

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“And what? I’m a mastermind, crouching in corners and spray painting brick walls? We’re excessively juvenile. They could fill a hallway with cups of water and make us empty them in order to get to the dinner table.”

“Couldn’t we just find another door?”

“Nope. There would be a prank at every door and every window. I don’t think they’d splash us with water, but they would definitely splash us with glitter, which might be worse. There is glitter in my parents’ couch from ten years ago. My mother won’t get a new couch because what would be the point? It would get some other unspeakable thing on it in no time.”

“Do any of your siblings still live at home?”

“No, but the grandkids come over now and they’re worse than their parents,” she sighed.

“Tell me about your sisters. I want to guess their names when I see them,” I coaxed.

“My oldest sister’s name is Tallis. She’s married and has two kids. Hers are the ones most often at my parents’ house because she still works part-time and my mom looks after them while she’s at work. Then there’s Sage. She’s married, but no kids yet. Then there’s my brother, Ethan. Honestly, we forgot he existed after he married Tiffany. She’s just like us. She fits in so well with my family, I don’t know if she even remembers she isn’t my mother’s daughter. Then there’s me, and my little sister, Quinn.”

“Why is this the first time I’m even hearing these names?”

“They’re monsters. If I didn’t love my mother, I would have begged you to elope with me, but I know she wants to see me get married. She’s not fussy or anything, and she’s already told me she has no problem with our wedding plans. She just wants to see me get married and she’s so satisfied with my dress it’s ridiculous. She’s going to hire a team of photographers to make sure they get amazing pictures of me.”

“And me?”

“No, Fletch, they’re going to leave you out of the shots. We’re the type of people who don’t care about the groom. It’s all about the girls and their day.”

“Which is the only sensible thing,” I added.

“Okay… we’re here.”

There were hand signals and muttering on the other side of the vehicle as we pulled up.

“Did you just cross yourself?” I asked her. “I didn’t know you were Catholic. We’re getting married in a reformation church.”

“I’m not Catholic. I’ve never crossed myself before. I’m just praying that they didn’t unload all the neighbors’ garbage across the front lawn and dress Tallis up like the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock.”

“Your family sounds awesome,” I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

She cautiously got out of the car and looked around like she was expecting someone to jump out at her. “The porch light is off. None of the house lights are on either. It looks like they’re going to pretend like no one is home.” She glanced over at me. “Juvenile enough for you?”

I pulled my jacket out of the backseat and put it on.

No one jumped out at us as we made our way across the driveway and up the front steps. She rang the doorbell.

“Should we just go in?” I asked her when no one answered. I put my hand on the doorknob and she slapped it away.

“You’re acting like an amateur, Fletch. What was the first thing I told you? Don’t open a door. I haven’t brought a boyfriend home since the guy before Mr.-Teenage-Romance. Me bringing a man home at all would be weird, but me bringing my fiance is something completely different. I can’t even imagine what zany tricks they have up their sleeves. When Sage brought Richard home, they accidentally set him on fire.”

“You’re only telling me this now?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “It was an accident with sparklers. I didn’t even know you could set someone on fire with sparklers.”

“If you don’t want him to be set on fire then keep him on the step,” we heard a voice call out from behind the bushes.

A second later, a firework went off. It was a big pink one, like a ball that leaped into the air and then fizzled. Then the music started. It was Eternal Flame by the Bangles. Her family was in a line in the yard. Someone in the back was setting off Roman candles, big pink ones, and beautiful ones that glittered and the music rang out. They were singing along with the music.

I reached for Shannon and she reached for me.

We watched as the sparklers and the fireworks lit up the night sky. If it was cold that night, I couldn’t remember that it was. The only thing I remembered was how happy Shannon’s family was for her, and how the only practical joke was a whoopee cushion that one of the grandkids put on her chair.