The time dates back to roughly 10 years ago from now. 2008 February to be exact. At that time, my 6-year-old self still was overflowing with emotions. I was just like any other kid around the block, laughing, playing and smiling away without a care in the world.

“Yuusuke. Come here.”

I still remember my eyes beaming away whenever I heard my mother’s voice.

“Mother!”

“There, there, that’s a good boy,”

She would often caress my head and it made me feel really comfortable and almost enough to make me fall asleep. Although it is coming from me, my mother was an individual who was considered to be an unreachable flower, she had shinning platinum hair who oceanic blue eyes like mine, anyone who had saw her would all stop dead in their tracks and stare. That was my mother and how beautiful she was.

Her looks were not the only thing that was beautiful. She had a wonderful and caring personality. She was the type of women who could not even leave a stray cat go hungry, she would care for absolutely anyone, even her enemies. Although she rarely had any except for those who were envious of her looks,

I spent my childhood much clinging to my mother. I was what one would consider a Mommy’s boy, I often cry not wanting to leave her side, and I would look like the happiest thing alive when I see her after leaving. This was the norm for me and my family.

My family consisted of 5, Mother, Father, Big Brother, Big Sister and myself. We had always got along and never quarrelled. From the outside eyes, we were what one would consider the perfect family.

My Dad is the Owner of the well-known Schrwaz incorporation. It was not an exaggeration to say that some of Japan right now would not be it without the company. Hence, we were quite well-off in terms of living conditions. My Dad was a doting father to my sister and a proud father of his sons.

He had often considered to have my Big brother Kyousuke to take over his company one day and Kyousuke would often agree to as well. Kyousuke was an intelligent person and a well liked one as well. He was always the top of his class and popular with others. As he was 7 years older than me, he often would spoil me rotten with gifts and affection.

My Big Sister was 6 years older than me and she in no way loses out to my brother. She was a bright and cheerful person who everyone trusted and liked. Not to boot, she is popular enough to have almost 1 to 2 confessions every single day, although not that one ever got through. She would often tell us about how the guys keep coming after her even after she let them down gently and she would sigh and appear frustrated by this. She treats me very well and play with me often, she also inherited my mother’s beautiful genes and put herself into a whole different league than other girls her age.

My mother had always liked cooking, she was working at my Father’s company before they got married. She went on and retired to be a housewife after their marriage. Her dishes that she served was always delicious and would often get praises by many. Although, we have servants and chefs for our meals, she is friendly with the kitchen staff enough that she would cook with them. Although that was more on the Kitchen staff giving in to her persistence of wanting to cook and decided to corporate.

Although, the happy times would never last. When I was 5, my brother collapsed one day at home. After rushing to the hospital immediately and having multiple doctors look at what’s wrong. He was diagnosed with Leukemia.

Hearing the new, my parents and sister were devastated, although the me at that time was too young to understand what exactly happened. All I know was that seeing my mother begin to cry and curse at herself made me started bawling as well.

According to the doctor, my brother actually was in the later stages of Leukemia and he had a small margin to survive even with a bone marrow transplant. The days we had with Kyousuke was limited and we knew it.

After the diagnosis, my mother would bring me and my sister to visit Kyousuke almost every day. My sister Tsubasa would try to hold back her feelings and not make my brother any sadder despite him knowing of his impending doom.

Throughout the course of his stay in the hospital, many different people came to visit him. Some with the same uniform, some with different and even many teachers would patronise him in his hospital room. It was the sign that he was well loved and received wherever he was.

As for me, I would still smile brightly every time we went to visit my brother. He would read me books, play toys with me and tell stories to me and my sister. I was oblivious to his situation and often found myself wondering why my brother was staying in a different place than myself. But I got rid of that feeling as I found that being able to play with Kyousuke every day was really great.

After a few months, nearing the end of 2007 December, my brother was nearing his last minutes. All of our families and friends gathered to see him off. I could see the people there beginning to tear up and some couldn’t hold back their tears and had to stand outside.

“Although my life was short, I enjoyed every single moment of it. To my friends and my teachers. I may be leaving earlier than all of you now, but do try your best to forget me and move on… I believe that your life will still go on to greater heights.”

“Father, I’m sorry I couldn’t live long enough to fulfil my promise of taking over the company…”

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“You idiot son…What are you saying at this time…”

I could see my father closing his eyes and tearing up while desperately forcing those words out of his mouth.

“Mother, what happened to me was yet another fate of my life. Do not blame yourself for what happened to me. You still have Tsubasa and Yuusuke in your life…So don’t be hung up on me”

My mother was bawling beside my brother and had her arms wrapped around him while softly murmuring.

“I’m…Sorry…I’m…Sorry”

“Tsubasa, after all this, you will be the Big sister of the house now. You have to be responsible as an older sibling and take real good care of Yuusuke for me. Can you do that?”

“….um…”

Tsubasa managed to agree as she was holding back her feelings.

“And to my favourite Yuusuke…Your big brother will be going to a faraway place now and might not come back…Can you promise me you will be a good kid and protect the house for me?”

“Yea!!!”

I was the only one who was oblivious to what was happening to my brother and answered like I would to him any other day.

“That’s a good boy.”

“I guess this is it, thanks for all the memories you guys…I guess this is Goodbye…”

4.24 P.M, 16th December 2008, my Big brother Kyousuke has peacefully passed on…

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A day after the scene at the hospital, my family held Kyousuke’s funeral. Many friends of my brother, my sister and my parents as well as teachers attended it.

It was awfully silent throughout the funeral except for the occasional weeping and crying that echoed through the funeral hall. I was still being myself and sitting at a corner playing with my toys as my sister watched over me.

“Tsubasa nee-chan, where is mother?”

“Mother is not feeling very well now, so she is resting somewhere…”

“Let’s go visit her!”

“Yuusuke…be a good boy and wait for her, she is sooo sick that people cannot visit her now…”

Seeing that Tsubasa had a dejected face as she said that, my young self, decided to not pursue the matter anymore. As the funeral hall was full of people walking around, I couldn’t see either my Father nor my Mother anywhere.

After the reception, we had went moved to another location with only close friends and families. It was there where I saw my mother again. My mother, Euphino, was paler than usual, she also looked vaguely skinner. I could tell as I often spend my time hugging her. I proceeded to hold my mother’s hands and my mother, she just took a glance at me smiling at her and gave a weak smile back before facing the coffin again.

We were watching my brother Kyousuke’s cremation. As the coffin was entering the cremation device, the people there started bawling and calling out Kyousuke’s name. In spite of all this, I turned to my mother who was crying as well.

“Mother? ... When is Big Bro coming back?”

Hearing what I said, my mother’s knees collapse and she hugged me tightly, so tight in fact that it hurt a bit.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…Kyousuke…Yuusuke.”

Hearing my mother’s sobbing voice and my brother’s name, I also started to bawl.

The cremation lasted a bit longer and after that. One by one, the people offered their condolences one last time to my Father, who was the only one barely able to keep hold of his composure, before the left weeping and sobbing.

My mother was still collapsed on the ground and so was my sister who was hugging my mother. My father decided to calm my mother down.

“…Let’s go…”

He gently lifted my mother up and then we left the cremation hall. Never to see my brother ever again.

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A few weeks after the funeral. My Father had returned to work, my sister returned to school and I was at home with Mother. Father had looked perfectly fine and went to work, although he must be hurting inside and didn’t want to show it due to his pride.

My sister was looking dejected still but she still looked better than before, she went to school as per normal and came home to play with me. I realised that she was now spoiling me even more and caring for me even more and I had always wondered why the change but ignored it as I enjoyed the company.

As for my mother… my mother… Ever since she returned from the funeral, she had changed. She didn’t play with me anymore and not even gave me her time even as I called out to her. Whenever I went to pester her to play, she would order the maids or butler to carry me away.

She also started to cook less than usual, sometimes even scolding the chefs for not doing their jobs. And on the rare occasions she did cook, the meals were nothing close to delicious, they were often plain and it tasted bad.

The maids, butlers and chefs knew she was depressed still and didn’t take her insults and words to heart. One day, I asked my mother to cook for me and called in the butler and told him to ask the chef to cook it for me.

“No!!! I want mother to cook it, I want mother to cook it!”

As my pestering continued on, Mother gave in and decided to cook for me. The meal that day tasted worse than any other meal she had prepared. As a child, tasting that, I blurted out.

“…This food is bad…”

“Slap!”

That…that was the first time ever in my life, that Mother had hit me.

“First! You asked me to cook! And now you complain about it being bad! Just what do you want!”

Hearing the mother who had always cared and adored me say that as she hit me, I was devastated and bawled out loud,

“Alfred! Get him out of here!”

“Understood Madame. Let’s go, Yuusuke-Sama.”

Alfred, the head butler and the longest working butler in our house lifted me up and carried me away.

A few months later, my mother remained the same. No, remained the same wouldn’t cut it, she had turned worse. Seeing that she began to eat less and cursed more, my Father was concerned and had confronted her.

During the night that he confronted her, it was the first day I heard them quarrel. The next day, my Father had left for work yet again, and my sister for school.

As for me, I now play in a different room as I didn’t get close to my mother after the incident. However, today she came to find me, at first, I thought that she had returned to the loving mother I once knew and came to play. But I was never more wrong…

Upon entering the room, she would just say it straight to my face.

“Why…Why isn’t it you, WHY WAS IT KYOUSUKE AND NOT YOU!”

As she screamed those words, they echoed through my head, and I got startled and started to cry.

“WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO CRY?! HOW COULD YOU STILL SMILE AFTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED?!”

My mother continued her screaming and began to hit me with a nearby club. She continued berating and insulting me as she hit me endlessly with the club. A gold club to be exact. I was starting to bleed out and began to feel numb from the beating after a while longer. As it continued on, I eventually stopped crying and accepted being hit. It was then that Alfred knocked down the door and held Euphino back. Apparently, Euphino had locked the door before she did all this and hearing the noise from here, the maids informed Father and Alfred before Alfred came here and Father rushed back from work.

I didn’t really recall what happened after that as I slowly began to lose consciousness.

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