Webb came to his senses smelling a godly scent that mixed all the beauty of the 8 realms into one. It encompassed all beauty with smells ranging from the purest vannila to the Elven Garden of Eden. Webb wanted to never open his eyes again but bask in this scent. Alas, he thought of what great creature this aroma would be coming from and he immediately opened his eyes. When he saw the thing that the beautiful smell belonged to he vowed that he will commit suicide the second that he was able to and cure his body of this unearthly sight. Webb saw a senile wizard with his head tilted up; his eyes were constantly moving settling on different parts of his bare body laying in a cold bathtub. Webb jumped up and screaned louder than a dying ice troll. Webb tried to run away but was quickly seized by a ridiculously buff strongman.

"Hey Ogarrrr he woke up" said a idiotic sounding voice. "Heeeeyyyyyyyy he smells nice" said another strongman who looked the same but like 1 inch shorter."We should eat him and absorb his scent" said the first with the others nodding in agreement. Webb satrted panicking and squirming but he couldn't move at all in the big man's grip. Eventually he gave up and said "Wait

"Wait don't eat me please I know a criminal please it's probably a super stong monster" begged Webb, looking around hoping anyone with a lick of sense was here.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

" wE cAn kEEp HIM as A peT" said the old man in front of him that could probably be older than Eros

"Hey Altimaaarrr let's go kill the big monster" said the biggest of the bunch.

Webb thought his name was Ogar, and somehow as if it was a hivemind they just walked to the inn. Now that Webb looked around he realized that he was not in the same spot near the inn. He couldn't even see it. Now that he looked closer he could see the land blurring in the distance so they were probably moving insanely fast. After a few minutes, yes mother F*CKING minutes, to travel probably thousands of miles, they were back at the inn.  Suddenly coming to his senses, Webb saw what he was truly lying in. It was not, in fact a very cold bed, as he had previously thought. But a bathtub. Full of ice. What the actual hell. Oh. My God. These are  my "saviors" from the night (had it been a night?) before. Oh god. What did they do to him? Webb  checked to make sure his kidneys were there.  "Um I'll be right back!" he shouted, running to the inn without an answer.

"You again? I thought i told you to leave!" 

"Well yeah but," Webb leaned in close "Please help me. They kidnapped me and I told them where a monster was so they wouldn't... eat me. Please do you know where a monster or something is." Webb knew he sounde desperate and insane but it was his last hope.

"As a matter of fact I do."

The innkeeper crumbled into dust...