I lied in bed staring at the ceiling willing myself to come to grips with the situation I was in. Although I had been in denial for the last three days, reality was starting to seep in. 

"Young Master, I have prepared breakfast for you." I heard a sheepish voice saying from the other side of the door. I knew I should reply but I was not in the mood to talk to anyone just yet. 

".....I may be out of line..but whatever you are worried about, eating something might make you feel better." I heard the sound of what was likely a tray being set down in front of the door. Once the footsteps faded away I forced myself to get up and peeked outside of the door. I saw a tray filled with sweet and savory breakfast foods, including pancakes..my favorite. To be more precise, it was the favorite food of the male lead of the novel I used to love reading back when I was still living as Dante Williamson in New Orleans,  Louisiana. This world I am currently in is a far cry from the ward I used to live in. The fact that a novel I used to read actually existed as a world with real characters is not something I could have imagined would be true. 

I have always loved romance stories. Something about the idea of love has always fascinated me but been a foreign concept I could actually never relate to. Growing up in a very stoic religious household, I always felt like love was something that was preached to me but never actually given. Luckily I was able to escape in good stories about what love should be or had the potential to become. My favorite story recently had been of the very story I'm currently living in: The Duke Learns to Love. It was an interesting story that I could relate to. A lot of the same experiences the Duke experienced were things I could personally relate to. Having strict parents that pressured you to be perfect, doubts about whether you are good enough, and being judged for not being like the other people around you. In many ways, Henri de Luc felt like a character that had been inspired by me. The irony of my current situation, in some ways, is actually amusing. 

The first day I woke up in this body I freaked out. Although I have read many novels about transmigration, reading about it and experiencing it first hand is completely different. It's jarring and in my case it has felt like settling into a new shell that was not originally designed for me. The second day I tried many times to kill myself to no avail. I'd hoped that by dying I would be able to return or just....stop existing. After all, doing the same thing in my previous life ended up putting me in my current situation. Many of the servants freaked out and begged me to stop. They were especially afraid since the parents of the male lead were gone to the imperial city on business. The level of punishment they would receive for allowing the only young master of the de Luc dukedom to die would extend to their families as well. Any money they had and their very lives would be taken and it would have been as if they did not even exist. 

By the time the third day had come I was basically catatonic. I couldn't die and I had no idea why I was even in this world to begin with. What was my purpose? Now, sitting at the table in my room, I decided to take the maids advice. As I took a bite of the stack  pancakes I felt warm tears falling down my face. I could feel the sincerity of the servants who had made and brought this meal to me. It was as if they were telling me to keep going, to live. I made up my mind. I would not allow myself to stay like this. 

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"Young Master! You have to get ready quickly," the maid from earlier said bursting into my room hurriedly along with a few other maids. Looking at her thick curly red hair and freckles that dotted across her nose like a row of tiny stars reminded of the novel and I recalled her name. 

"Laila...what's going on?" 

"The Master and the Madame are almost back to the mansion. You have to get ready quickly so that you can greet them. You must not give them more reason to find fault in you." 

"Regardless of what I do, that will always be the case. Besides I have made up my mind. If I have to live this life, I'm going to live it the way I want to."

She looked at me with worried expression but did not press the issue further. Looking at her shimmering bluish-green eyes made me think about her description in the novel. Laila was the most loyal person to the Duke when he was still the young master of the de Luc Duchy. It was through her that he had gained a glimpse of what affection should look like. She was the reason pancakes was his favorite food. The first time his father punished him for making a mistake during training he was made to starve for five days in order to learn some discipline. During that time, Laila was still young and the only dish she knew how to make was pancakes. Whenever she had a chance she would sneak to the young master's room and feed him pancakes. It was not the healthiest food for him to eat when being started but she did not know better at the time, she just wanted to make sure he was able to eat something delicious. As a result, she was beaten by the Grand Duke and almost fired. If it had not been for Henri interfering she would have likely actually been killed.

The Grand Duke hated people not following his orders the most, but he backed off when he saw that by getting angry in Laila's defense, Henri was able to manifest his ego. This was something only possible for the de Luc bloodline. It's also why, generally most descendants of this bloodline are so cold to everyone. Being emotionally unstable is dangerous for those who manifest their egos so they are trained from a young age to forget emotion and that feelings are deadly. If one is not careful, their ego will consume them and reek havoc on those around them.

Henri was different though, he was able to manifest his ego without the same drawbacks. The Grand Duke was not aware of this so he was single-mindedly determined to train Henri in the same way he had been in order to create an heir with power that surpassed his own. What he didn't know was that this training had the opposite effect on Henri. His trauma would cause him to be tormented for years before he was able to truly manifest his powers to their full ability. Everything would change years later when he would meet the female lead  of the novel, Olivia. That would be years from now though. Right now, Henri was just a young teenage boy who had yet to fully be able to show off his potential power. In fact, before he would meet Olivia he would meet the antagonist of the story, the youngest daughter of the Marquess d'Alarie, Gabrielle. Right around this time is when the Marquess would approach the Grand Duke about forming an alliance through marriage between their families. If my guess is correct, around now is when the two will meet. It's where Gabrielle will fall in love with Henri, but he rebuffs her attempts at getting closer because he is still under the strict thumb of his father. It isn't until later that she becomes crazy from being rejected by the male lead and slowing becomes more and more obsessed once she sees that he has fallen in love with Olivia instead of her. In the end, she ends up like most villians do: miserable, alone, and dead. For the sake of the story someone has to be the evil that is overcome by good, but this is real life. I don't intend to make someone else miserable just so I can have a happy ending. 

"Laila, just dress me in something comfortable. I don't believe this conversation will take long. I don't intend to sit and listen any longer." 

"A-a-as you wish Young Master."