image [https://i.imgur.com/OAfAwGU.png]
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What did it mean to give to other people? What benefit did it have? Those were the questions I asked when I was little.
“Yuanyuan, you better finish your food. Your mom gives it for free as a family, and not as customers.” My father called out to me, while he pushed a large plate of fowlbeast meat towards me. I stared at the dish, while my feet swung back and forth. They didn’t touch the ground.
Not before long, I enjoyed the taste of it. I was merely just savoring the food before it would be all gone. My mother stayed back in the kitchen, just smiling from ear to ear. That made me want to grin too. “Papa, isn’t everyone family? Shouldn’t we give it to everyone?”
“That’s uh… Huh.” He set down his utensil and scratched his chin. “Mama makes it so that we can stay here. We give to other people, so they can stay too."
"Oh, now I get it!" I dropped down from my chair and presented myself enthusiastically. "Giving means helping people live!"
"Don't teach her too much of that stuff, dear." My mother sideëyed my father, whose shoulders perked up at her high, yet delicate and threatening voice.
"She's gotta start somewhere. Raising her well is our duty," He responded before eating more. "Our Yuanyuan here is the smartest girl in the district. We oughta support her."
My mother set down her ladle and walked over to the dining table. "That's right. Yuanyuan, we can live in an even better place in the future! We can see the world!"
I tilted my head. Never I considered the thought of leaving. I was fine staying here with my parents, in this small neighborhood, in the small city-state of Kucha. Our house wasn't that well off, but it kept the sand and sun of the desert off our backs. I never wanted to leave home. I never wanted to leave my family behind.
Savoring the last of the cooked fowl, my innocent self grinned with sauce leaving my lip. Dinner was over, and soon the night.
Later today, my father carried me onto my bed. I loved it whenever he showed me his rough hands, and the intricate lines laced onto his palm. Scars, he called it. They were proof of his work. I loved his hearty laugh, and the delicateness within his raspy voice. He always listened to what I saw out on the streets today, and what kind of adventure I had with the other kids down the road.
"Did you work hard today?" I asked him again, my eyes flickering with excitement. My father then told me to stop jumping on the bed. I obeyed him with a smile and tucked myself in.
"You sure know. Making 'toys' for Kucha, Great Zhou and beyond." He patted my head, as I giggled. He said to me before that he worked for a company that gave toys to children around the world.
"Thank you for your hard work! Do you think I can make and give toys too?"
"..." My father thought about it for a few seconds, before leaning over to kiss me goodnight. "Not you, Yuanyuan. You'll go on to do something better than me. In the future, think about what you could be. More than what mama and papa are."
I couldn't sleep, thinking about his words. I grasped the rough blanket, and covered my mouth.
"Papa... Are you proud of yourself?"
"I'm not." He looked away and turned the light off. "But I am of you, Yuanyuan."
The room went dark, and only the moonlight peered through our glassless windows. Our home was made of clay. Like those ones one could see as a souvenir or in a shop. My parents placed aspirations in me, so I too, wanted to aspire. If I couldn't bring toys to other children like my father, then what could I do better?
That night, not a sound came from outside nor my room. It was as if time had frozen itself. The nights in Kucha contrasted to the heat I'd felt during the day. My sweat continued to comfort me, while I stared into the molded ceiling.
A crash came from outside my room.
Footsteps sounded in the hallway.
The floor creaked.
My door flew open.
A silhouette was at the door.
My breath stopped.
My eyes widened.
"Papa?"
A tall man stood at the doorway, his head barely hitting the ceiling. He held a vial. The man reached for me. Another figure appeared and spoke to him in a language I didn't understand. "Atrapon la fil e sorton d'ici."
A D'Orientois? My father entered the room and tackled one of the men to the ground. "Yuanyuan, run!"
One of them drew a blade. The other ran for me. My small self could only spring from the bed and search for a way out. The glassless window. I stood on the nightstand and threw myself through the opening.
"Eh! Yutulis la fiol!"
"J've!"
The D'Orientois grabbed me from the window and shoved me to the ground. I could see my father running outside with my mother, yelling for help. One of the men held me down as the other shoved the vial into my mouth. But I bit his hand, and struggled against the weight of his body. He yelled in pain. I took the tube from my mouth to stand up and run. That was the last thing I remembered.
It was until the morning when the local constable had everything under control. People clad in white cloaks also came and surveyed the tiny street where I had lived. They told me that some D’Orientois were running a trafficking scheme. They found me last night, passed out in a ditch not far from here, and handed me over to a traveling doctor from Great Zhou.
“Looks like the bad guys made you drink some liquid.” He pushed his bifocals closer, as he checked my pulse on my wrist. “A liquid that makes people fall asleep. I’m Yang Lianhua, but you can call me Doctor Yang. The Royal Marshal brought you in at sunrise."
I kept my gaze down. Blinking a few times, the world was spinning. I couldn't comprehend anything. "Where is my mom and dad?"
Doctor Yang stopped for a moment, and finished writing down some records. He sighed, and gave a weak smile. "I can't tell you, for sure."
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"Why can't you tell me?"
He looked away. I could see a bundle of papers in his traveling bag. Surely they were still at home. I just saw them last night. I was certain.
"Take me to my home! Take me back to my house, Doctor Yang!"
"Miss, I'm afraid that's—"
I ran out from the building he housed me in, and sure enough I found myself on my home's street. Just at the end of it was home. My parents were waiting for me. The sand beneath me crunched and the hot sun beat down on my back. The world was still spinning. But it didn't matter. I was going back home.
There, people in white cloaks walked around the property. Ignoring them I stood at the door, only to find it ajar. I took a slight peek inside. For a moment, I didn't see anything. Rather, I couldn't hear anything. I pushed the door open. I could see my father's leg on the floor. Was he sleeping?
I pushed the door open, to see a gush of red.
"Don't look!" Doctor Yang suddenly covered my eyes but it was too late. I fell to the floor as my knees scraped the sand.
My father was lying there, his body cold, the dusty floor sodden in blood. My mother was nowhere to be found.
My eyes narrowed while Doctor Yang shielded them with his hands, but my sight had already been stained red. His hands only wetted to my tears. I could feel Doctor Yang's trembling hands. My whole body shivered. I wanted to vomit, I wanted to stop seeing. The pain gathered as a lump in my throat,
And soon I didn't want to do anything.
“What is your name?” Doctor Yang walked with me in the opposite direction of the house, with his hands in his pocket. He wore a slim red cloak with bifocals resting on his face. His face had a certain sadness I couldn’t figure out.
“...Kang Yuanyuan.”
“Miss Kang, I know this isn’t a great time…” The young doctor went on, staring into the morning sky. Residents rushed beside us as they noticed the commotion down the road. “I don’t know how to word this to a kid… but I have to give you a choice. Do you want me to take you to the place with other kids, or?”
Back then I didn’t know what he meant. But the older I got, I realized that he asked if I wanted to go to an orphanage. However, the me in the past, the me who was just over four years old, never replied to that question.
⁂
A few weeks passed.
“This is the word for cherry blossom. ‘Saqura’.” He pointed to an image in a book, while I sat below him and watched him from his chair. We were in a hostel room in Xanton. The room was quite small, yet Doctor Yang gave the bed for me to sleep in by myself while he would sleep on the floor. His travel bag heated up on the desk near the window, watching over the lustrous streets of the Zhounese capital.
“Saqura!” I repeated and threw my hands up. He’d been teaching me Aweda and Wawaqi during our arrival in Xanton, with the picture books he had. He told me that some of his patients were from Aquitaine or Waqwaq, so he’d been studying the languages for some time now.
[System Announcement]
Lingual Cognizance UP
1402 >>> 1459
+57
The more my Lingual Cognizance increased, it became apparent to me that my level had been capped at Level 5 for a while now. Doctor Yang showed me his chart, and his was at Level 10.
“Doctor Yang, why are you still at Level 10? Why can’t you move up?”
“That’s because Great Zhou and Kucha follow a tradition,” he answered and closed the book with one hand. “One must cultivate their Lingual Cognizance before increasing their level cap at a certain age. It’s the reason why a doctor like me exists; The Koronese Branch Class puts all students studying medicine to shame with a click of a skill. The Zhouhua Branch Class is a jack of all trades. Wawaqi Branch Class specializes in warfare. As for Aweda…”
I pouted, resting my head on my arms. “Those all sound cool. Why don’t you learn one, Doctor Yang?”
“I do. I unlocked the Koronese Branch Class, but I don’t have enough SP to unlock any skills. When you grow up, you’ll understand.” He chuckled softly and stood up from his chair. “My clinic isn’t far now. Miss Kang, I really need you to decide. Whether you want to go to the place of the kids, or I can set you up with a new family.”
“...” I again, never replied to that question. My brain still couldn’t believe what happened. I refused it, I hid it in the deepest of my memory.
“Miss Kang, I’m worried for your safety. You behave so carefree, as if that ‘incident’ weeks ago never happened,” he calmly said to me, while walking over to his bag. Even when he probed me about it, I wouldn’t answer. I couldn’t answer it.
⁂
A couple months later, I found myself around with the medical tomes in Doctor Yang’s clinic. Some windows were shattered on the outside and appeared to derelict, but the young man kept it clean and professional inside. His office lined with rows of bookshelves, all detailing prescriptions, herbs, and potions. A long couch sat in at the end of the desk for the patient, while he himself had no chair. His building came with a fully functioning kitchen and bathroom. He slept on his couch.
Often I saw him studying and reading, pushing his bifocals to see. Others he shooed me out when someone walked into the clinic.
“Welcome!” I greeted clients with a grin as I popped up from one of the big shelves. They mistakened me for Doctor Yang’s daughter, but he always tried to clear up the misunderstanding. After the consultation the people left, and he breathed a sigh. “Hey Doctor Yang, why do you help people in this tiny room? You are only fifteen years older than me.”
The young man paused, and turned to me. “...You’re a smart child, aren’t you. Back then, I did a very bad thing. I took from the community I lived in Shih-ch’eng, did some questionable things in PatriaRegione Straniera. But I wanted to change.”
“Bad thing?”
“A very bad one,” he emphasized while he folded his hands. “So I’m going to give back to everyone. To right as many people I have wronged. That way… Maybe I can make, myself feel better.” Doctor Yang wiped his eyebrows and sniffled. “No… Maybe I don’t deserve it.”
“You want to give?...” I repeated his words, while my father’s face flashed in my mind. I fell down from the stepstool I stood on near the shelf.
“Yuanyuan!” He dove to the ground and caught me in his embrace. His bifocals crinkled into shards under him. “The glass… Are you okay?”
“Okay.” I nodded. Even when he said he did a very ‘bad thing’, I couldn’t see him as a bad guy. He treated me well, and let me stay at his place. What did it mean to give exactly? For their benefit? Or for oneself? Perhaps it was none. From then on, I decided that I would study the art of healing, just like Doctor Yang.
⁂
One day, I returned back to the clinic after running some errands for him. I had reached double digits in age, so he allowed me to finally go out by myself. However as I approached the building, I noticed that his sign had been vandalized. On the big sign of ‘YANG CLINIC’, bold logograms had been drawn to read ‘TRAITOR’IL MEDICO’’. I grasped the papers I held in my hands and rushed inside.
Inside, Doctor Yang wasn’t in his office or the main room. So when I ran into the kitchen upstairs, I was surprised to see him cooking something on the stove. A small metal wok exhaled with smoke as a nostalgic scent entered my nose.
He lifted his head and smiled. “Ah, Yuanyuan. I’ve been thinking about cooking something up once in a while. You can set the papers down on the left.”
“Doctor Yang, what are you making?”
“What do you mean? It’s your delicacy in Kucha, right? It’s called dapanji.” The young doctor scooped a bit with a ladle and put it on a plate. “Congratulations on your registration at the Adventurers’ Guild. You unlocked the Koronese Branch Class, right?”
I walked over to the table where the plate was offered. Cooked fowl and potatoes meshed together with a reddish sauce of chili and broth, as my mouth watered. Doctor Yang handed me a spoon, and I tasted it.
The memories hit me like a boulder falling off the Sanpu Mountains. Everything that had transpired all those years ago, those last conversations I had with my father and mother streamed into me. All back to when I tasted dapanji for the first time.
My legs gave away as I started bawling uncontrollably. The tears couldn’t stop, while I called for mama and papa that weren’t there.
Doctor Yang took off his apron and came to my side. “What’s wrong? I… I’m so sorry I—”
I buried myself deep into his shoulder, while his arms reluctantly came around to hug me. My conscious remembered what I needed to do. I chose to follow under Doctor Yang’s wing to give back to my community. To relieve people of their pain. To reassure children and adults alike, that I could be able to help them. Just like he did for me until now.
That was why after I sobbed into his embrace, my smile came back five times brighter.