It's not supposed to be like this. This only happens in manga. This only happens in anime. This is material reserved for trashy light novels. It doesn't happen in real life. Nobody really has these expectations for assistants, and nobody would be so tasteless as to suggest it. And yet here the maid is, holding out an identical uniform to hers, shooing me down the hall and urging me to follow her to get the damn thing fitted.

  "What did you think valet meant?" she asks exasperatedly.

  "There's been some kind of mistake," I try to explain. "I thought we were going to be, you know, bodyguards."

  "Cha is the safest city in the kingdom. Bringing bodyguards to a party is an unnecessary show of force." The halfling crosses her arms. "Miss Lilah didn't tell me you'd also require a lesson in etiquette."

  I think back to The Flowering Tea Emporium's gender-neutral uniform with renewed gratitude. Too many part-time jobs would have had me in much worse. It's not like I don't understand the need for formalities, I just don't get why it has to be so frilly.

  "Miss Lilah was less than thorough than she could have been in her job description," I complain.

  "Come on, now. Ash should be finished with your friend any moment now, and it will take some time to prepare you."

  Nothing I say is going to change my fate. This is an undercover mission. I have to remember that. And sometimes going undercover means doing things that compromise your interests or your morals. I resign myself to it and take the uniform from the small woman.

  "In here?"

  "Yes."

  She knocks on the door I've been led to, and a female voice inside faintly invites us inside. Izumi stands on a stool, attended to by a beastwoman with gray cat ears and a tail. I assume this is Ash. She takes a pin from her mouth and neatly fixes the hem of Izumi's admittedly long-enough skirt.

  Mamoru stands in the farthest possible corner, facing the wall with his usual scowl. His hair has been slicked back and he's wearing a smart suit.

  "Hiyori!" Izumi greets me. "Isn't this cute?"

  "Don't even start."

  "Has anyone ever told you that you are the exact opposite of fun?"

  "Stop moving," Ash grumbles.

  "It looks good on you, but I don't know. I'd rather wear the suit."

  "You'll look fine."

  "Stop moving," Ash insists.

  "I'm sorry."

  The beastwoman's ears twitch as a thoughtful expression settles on her face. "I think that's about done. Don't be alarmed."

  "By what?" Lilah asks.

  Ash snaps her fingers and the fabric of Izumi's uniform shimmers before stretching itself out here, tucking itself in there, and conforming to her body more accurately. The various pins fall to the floor, their job done.

  I think it's supposed to be a show of sewing magic. I'm very confused – I didn't realize magic could have such practical applications – but Izumi looks delighted. She hops off the stool and twirls once, ruffling the skirt. "It's perfect, Ash! Thank you!"

Stolen story; please report.

  "I'll leave you to it, then," the halfling says in a clipped tone before turning elegantly and leaving me to my impending doom.

  Do all halflings have such sour personalities, or did we just luck out with her?

  "Last but not least..." Ash looks directly at me. Her green eyes glint with a hint of predatory challenge. "We have the adventurers' party leader."

  "Just call me Hiyori."

  "Well, Hiyori, it's time for you to get changed."

  I don't want to talk about what happens next. Izumi and Mamoru head out, their outfits taken care of, and promise to rendezvous with Lilah downstairs. Ash is a gentle taskmaster, proficient with her tools, and she doesn't deserve the reputation I'm giving her with all of my reluctance.

  She snaps once to complete the alterations and drags me to a full-length mirror that shows the blush on my face all too well. The uniform's black and white is a stark contrast to the blues I'd rather be wearing. I can't believe I'm doing this.

  Anything for the job, I remind myself.

  "Go back to your friends," Ash says. "It's not long before the party."

  "Thank you." I manage to stay polite. It's not her fault that I hate this kind of thing.

  I meet up with the others downstairs. Lord Windwood is still getting ready, so Lilah is free to speak her mind around us.

  "There you are! It's about time."

  "Sorry, I got caught up getting stuck in a maid costume."

  "How else are they going to recognize you as my servants?" Lilah asks.

  "Didn't you call us valets earlier?"

  "Yeah, but who's mincing words?" She shrugs. "Same difference."

  Mamoru, surprisingly, is the one to come between us. "You were going to tell us what to expect at the party, Lilah."

  "Sure. A lot of stiff nobles. Not many people our age. A few really young children that we'll have to tiptoe around." She grimaces like she's remembering a past encounter she'd rather forget. "You'll have to mind your manners. Walk behind me. Don't speak unless spoken to. Try to practice not looking anyone directly in the eyes or they'll think you're being insolent."

  "When you put it that way, it sounds so easy." He rolls his eyes.

  "The Guild has been really stingy about providing information about the merchants from Canephora, though. What little we've gathered is... troubling."

  "How so?"

  "I was in touch with Chey earlier. We finally got visuals. They're not humans like we thought."

  "So what?" Mamoru gestures all around. "Windwood employs tons of nonhumans."

  "I know they're not as common, but I was never under the impression they were unwelcome," Izumi adds.

  "Well..." Lilah bites her lip. "They're demons."