The bag of coins I got from Saharah was no small amount. I was able to afford a carriage ride all the way to the border town along with food and lodgings. It was a very boring trip. I was able to afford a weapon, but I wasn’t able to buy it. There is a law about only selling weapons to people with appropriate classes. I couldn’t even bribe the attendant. I was going to settle for a pitchfork. If I could bang off the other two prongs then it’d be almost a spear, but I can’t even buy a pitchfork. Those are locked behind the farming classes. “Then what can a classless person buy!?” I yelled at him. He relented and let me buy a shovel. Shoveling shit and waste is part of a classless person's jobs. I got a grind stone along with it and sharpened it until it could be used as a weapon.
I hired a carriage to take me to the demi-human lands. It was going well until.
“This is as far as I go.”
I pull back the burlap carriage covering. “Why?”
He points in front of the carriage. “There’s no road.” I look at the forest in front of me. It is true. There is no road. “How do I get to the demi-human lands then?”
“Walk, If you continue straight for a few hours you’ll hit the golem border. Though I don’t know why you would ever want to go there.”
Golems are considered demi-humans? And they have a wall? I can make it on foot. I pay the man and hop off the carriage. Taking my shovel off the side of the caravan, I hang my backpack over one shoulder and continue on.
He was being literal about the golem wall. It’s an actual wall made up of golems with shields. I wave at one and it’s eyes move to look at me. “Can I go through?” It shakes its head. I attempt to walk through anyway, but it moves it’s shield to block me. Biting my lip I walk along the wall. The golems track me with their eyes as I walk. Above all of their eyes is weird lettering. It tickles at the back of my mind. I feel like I’ve seen it before. Either Way, it’s probably not important. I can hopefully just walk around them. Eventually they have to end, right? I applaud the demihuman’s dedication to national defense, but this is a wall to rival the Great Wall of China.
“Oh shit a human!” Someone yells from my side. I turn my head. There’s a green midget only a few feet from me. He has on a leather tunic and a red cap. “Hi.” I say to him then keep walking. He follows after me. “Wait up, breeder, what are you doing there?”
I stop and turn on a heel towards him. Looking down at him I ask. “The hell did you just call me?”
“Breeder, cause humans breed?” He seems unsure of that.
“Did your mom and dad never have the talk with you? Do you not know where you came from? When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much they play hide the sausage under the sheets and nine months later a baby comes out of mommy.”
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He holds his hands up. “That’s how humans do it, but I don’t have a mom or dad. I came out of a pot.”
“What?”
“The tribe mother pours in the primordial soup into a large pot and a bunch of little goblins crawl out.”
“Yeaaahh. I’d love to see if that's true. What a weird stork story.” I pause for a few seconds then it hits me. I look him up and down again. He’s only three foot tall, he’s green,and this a fantasy world. “You’re a goblin!”
He nods.
“Oh.”
We stare at each other. I tighten my grip on my shovel. “So are you a demi-human or mob fodder like in other isekai’s?” He can talk so maybe he’s a demi-human. I probably shouldn’t be caught poking around the demihuman border by a demi-human.
“Humans normally call us monsters.”
“But you can talk.”
“And?”
We both satire at each other again. The silence gets awkward. Then his eyes light up and he moves closer to me. “What were you doing here anyways?”
“Getting into the demi-human country.”
“My friend, why would you want to do that? They capture humans and sell them as slaves. You should come with me. My boss would love to meet you!”
“I’ma fucking kill the princess.” She sent me to get enslaved by some furries.
“My boss would love to see you even more if you say things like that.”
I sigh. “Sure, I don’t have anything else to do.”
“But first! Let’s stop by my tribe. You can see the primordial soup brewing.”
Gross. A goblin is inviting me to see how goblins are born.
The soup brewing was as advertised. A female goblin almost as tall as me and almost as wide as my height sat in front of a giant wrot iron pot. A green mixture was bubbling over a large fire. She stirred it with a wooden spoon that was more wood than spoon. She placed a few drops of viscous liquid into the pot then pointed to me. My red capped friend laughed. “What an honor. You have been chosen.” He pushes me until I’m in front of the Goblin Mother. “Che cheese chhhe che.”
I look at the redcap besides me. “She wants you to add something to the pot.”
“Why?”
“Goblins don’t have mutations in our genetic code like you breeders. So we evolve by having random things added to our stew. I can only speak Common because a human was added to the pot.”
“You’re going to add me to the pot?”
“No. She wants you to add something. Something interesting.”
I pat down my pockets. Interesting…...hmmm… I feel the familiar lump of my phone. It is long dead and now is just a useless brick. I smile and throw it in. The goblin mother nods at me and hits me with a smile that could cut glass. She stirs the pot then kicks it over. A green slime flows out onto the floor. It moves like thick water. Screaming is heard from the inside of the now empty pot. Both organic and mechanical. The winding of gears comes as a metal hand reaches over the lip of the pot. With one hand a goblin pulls himself over the edge. He flops onto the floor, breathing heavily. He wipes his brow with his one mechanical hand. The goblin mother picks him up and lifts up one side of her bra. She begins to feed the goblin as I look away.
“The hell did you add?”
“Phone.”
“Is that a tool from your world.” I move my head from looking at the wall and look at him with one eye brow raised. “How’d you know?”
He laughs and slaps me on the back of the leg. “My boss has a vested interest in summoned heroes. We are trained to keep an eye out for people in strange clothes using words like ‘isekai’”