I missed my chance to enroll in elementary school. It was a failure on my part for underestimating the education system in my arrogance; being able to memorize almost everything.
[At the age of 11; Present]
" The journey of my childhood was rather hard and filled with solitude but now finally, I have one more chance! " I said to myself while standing in my room, all alone. I clenched both of my hands in front of my face and closed my eyes " How long it has been? The mistake, I made in the past, I still cannot forgive myself. " As I was mumbling those words to myself and Someone opened the door of my room
"Master, The tea is ready, drink it. If you are done talking to yourself, that is." A Maid, her name is Diana, in looks, she is a beautiful woman and she has been close to me since the last year. There is a tragic story behind her 'that I don't know of'[]. In the end, She came out of nowhere last year and stayed beside me ever since.
"Indeed, she is a mystery that I need to solve. " I said while gazing at her, Her figure is pretty nice and she got everything 'A human Boy' would desire but yet, She stands before someone like me, who can never appreciate her beauty.
"Master, please don't. You are reading way too many novels about detectives, I think this the time for you to stop with your delusions. I am but a maid who was assigned to you last year" The mysterious maid said.
"Argghh, Diana! Don't ruin my fun. Anyways, Today is the day I will shine and finally, enroll in middle school. " Just thinking about the middle school sends shivers through my spine, as I trembles in my own excitement " Ehehe, I much longed for it "
"yea, Whatever. " And the mysterious maid ruins my excitement and joy. "Master, please drink the tea and be ready. The car is waiting outside for you. If you don't hurry, you will be late for your exam" She said.
But wait, Now that I think about it--
"......... You know, I can't change while you are still here. "
In embarrassment, She went away.
With that, I also stopped fooling around.
Honestly, She is a mysterious girl. She is around 15-17 year old and yet, She seems so mature. I mean, I can tell since I myself is 159+11 year old. My monster instinct tells me, Diana is a mysterious person.
"Grrrr- This pant, why do humans have to wear this in the first place! " Please avoid my struggles. and please do ignore the fact, I was standing in my boxer until now.
Back to the subject.
She came last year out of nowhere. suddenly, She was assigned to me, to take care of me as I am someone, Oh wait! I haven't told you something important.
"How do you tie the tie again? "
You see, my family has the standing of, such as royalty, in this city. I had always felt like an important person, being treated like this. But to my surprise, I learned that from my annoying father.
"Diana! Can you tie my tie? " I shouted
But we are not actually royalty, but it just annoying father told me "You can think in that way, we are a respected family in the city"
"Yes, I am coming~ " Diana replied as she hurried towards my room.
And since, I am the only heir of the family-- I gotta act diligently in front of others, at least outsiders. and that is also why I have a personal maid such as Diana.
"This is it! Now, shall we head out? " She put a smile on her face and said but when she looks at the table where she left the tea-cup, It was still there. "Master.."
But, I think there is more to it, I am not saying that I don't believe my own family members but-- still, In such modern era, a family is only respected when other feels fear. Those are the humans, in the end. In any case,
"Oh my, the tea has gone cold? Well, It fine. Let's go now"
I Skipped Almost every school until now so, I studied at home, never went outside without my parents, never had any human interaction excluding servants of this house and my parents. Please don't mistake my words, It is not that I want to interact with other humans, It just that I never had.
I haven't forgotten my objective in this world. It always has been, to know what humans actually are- I don't believe there are innocent humans. I still believe the words I spoke to the self-proclaimed God
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
But
In order to prove this to the god, I have to go outside and Join others. And where I can do that? Of course, That's the middle school.
[Few Days Later]
" I HAVE BEEN FOOLED! " I shouted in rage, throwing my books around the room. I made a real mess out of my room. Never I have been this angry.
Reason?
"Master, What's wrong? " Said Diana as she grabbed me by my shoulders.
"Why Does this letter says 'You have successfully skipped Middle school' Instead of 'You have been accepted in the school' !!! " was the reason for my rage and anger.
"But, That's what you wanted? "
"NO! That's not what I wanted! not at all, Why do you think I want to stay all alone in this room? Does that make sense to you? Do you even have Idea how hard I've worked to pass this exam!! No! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! Get out of my sight! RIGHT NOW" Such were the words, I spoke to Diana. Rejecting her arms and consideration, she tried to offer.
But, I had worked really hard, I had pulled all-nighters, all alone, inside my room to study, to avoid committing seppuku.
"Mast--- "
"GET OUT "
But, Right now, This is not me. This is but a human in his rage, That's the thing I hate about humans. About myself. Lossing control like this is not something I would've done in my previous form, as a monster.
After calming down and realizing what I've done, I found myself all alone, again."I might just commit seppuku. " Diana, She had an expression of-- It was something I shouldn't have done. She must be disappointed in me.
[Following Day, In the middle of the night]
" I can't sleep~ " Might as well take a stroll. With that thought, I started to wonder around my house. In the end, I found myself standing in the backyard. I started to blame myself for losing control over myself. I sat down on the ground, The grass was smooth on my butt so it didn't bother me much, rather it was relaxing, experiencing something like this, it was something that only happened while I was a monster and it reminded of me of my past life.
"That... That life was also not actually, good one. But I did try, I did my best. I found love, a family, friends but everything was lost, To humans." If I had only been, What humans thought of me-- I might... No, I am sure I would have survived.
"[Sob] I-- Still would.. [Sob] have been with. [Cough-sob].. my own family. " I'm sorry, guys. Because of my selfishness, because I tried to change the world--- Because, I trusted humans... It was all my fault.
"What's wrong? Albert." I heard a voice and quickly, wiped my tears.
What is with these emotions of a human! I was actually, Crying!!? God forbid! Argg-- God, huh?
"You, again? What do you want now? " I answered to the voice, knowing who it was the moment I heard the voice. This person was no other than, self-proclaimed god.
"Nothing, in particular. I felt a little guilty so, I came down to hear your complaints. And before, you say anything-- Maybe, I should " with those words, He appeared in his tidy uniform of a high-school boy. Now, when I know what he is actually wearing. I really want to ask him about it
"By the way, why are you wearing a high-school uniform? " I asked the god with curiosity
"Oh, this? " He looks at his own uniform and then at me, " If you wanna know, you should go and read Title of True God. The story is rather long so, I want to avoid it but in short, It kinda stuck with me. Reminding me of myself, When I was just like you. Lost."
"Eh? " Now, I really don't care. after, hearing what he just said. " Is it now? *Sigh* Anyways, Why did you even bother with me sending on this world, What would you gain from it? "
"Aha, About that-- You shouldn't bother with reasons behind my action. Even if I tell you the reason, It is not like you will able to comprehend those reasons. in any case, I am not here for that. There is something troubling you, right? if you tell me about it. I might able to help. "
The self-proclaimed god, He sure doesn't show any sort of emotions on his face, He stands there, in front of me with a face that doesn't show a single shred of anger or happiness. rather than my troubles, I wanna ask more about him but I am sure, He won't answer----- But--Maybe, He might just answer---
"I will tell you what is troubling me but before that, Can I ask you something? Tell me, Why don't you show any emotions? Why are you expressionless. It is creepy, to be honest. "
I am sure these words would have pissed off anyone but--- Yea, his expression doesn't change even a bit.
"Sure, I can tell you the reason but it depends on you if you can understand those reasons or not. Humans and every other being call me a god but honestly, I am but a vessel;" The god said and then he looks at the sky "There is something that exists even above my authority but it is just 'A THING' and that thing, it cannot control itself hence, it requires a vessel. You know, who the vessel is, That's me. " He looks back at me, with his eyes directly staring at mine, at first these words seem to carry no meaning behind them but that only would've been the case If I had heard these same words from other than this guy " I AM THE TRUE GOD, THE GOD OF NOTHING, THE ONE WHO HAVE HIGHEST AUTHORITY OVER THE SYSTEM AND MY NAME IS AOI ******* by the way, the last part is something that cannot be spoken right now since it will spoil all the fun. And about my emotions, I am but a tool for 'that thing' and a tool doesn't require expressions. "
"eh-eh. I see. so, You got really a long story behind you, don't you? "
"Indeed, I do have a long background. So, now tell me, What is that troubling you? " said the self-proclaimed god
What is troubling me? that's really obvious "Those are emotions of humans that are troubling me, right now. I had always been calm and I thought, I could do the same while being a human but I was wrong. I really want my old self back. I want, emotions of a monster, not of a human. "
"Is that it? Then, Why don't I grant you emotions that you had left, be more of a monster than a human! In the end, your objective doesn't require you to feel the emotions of a human. in the end, All you have to do is decide, if a human can be innocent! "
; End of Chapter