They walked in silence for nearly half an hour, each one lost in their thoughts. Ward was undoubtedly thinking of all the tasks that he would need to oversee on his circuit while her thoughts were filled with the women that they had left behind. She hadn't realized how small her social life had become before she came to Audrilandre. All she did was go to work and come home, the only interaction she had was with her co-workers bringing her reports or conference calls in order to glean more information to better serve various markets. Both she and her father were so busy that she rarely saw him more than once a fortnight and she was lucky if she saw Charlotte three to four times a week.
She frowned as she tried to figure out when her life had become such a slog of work. There were so many times that she could've gone home a little bit earlier so she could actually see Charlotte. She could've worked harder to stay in touch with college friends. Goodness, she could've even made an effort to just enjoy life more, take a walk or visit a restaurant. But no, she had been so wrapped up in chasing the latest trends and making sure that every last detail, unnecessary or not, was perfect. And because of this, she hadn't realized how life was slipping through her fingers, how she was missing the truly important little moments in life.
When she got back, she would need to make some changes, take the time to actually live instead of just work. She smiled a little. Charlotte would be happy to hear that. She always said that Ria worked too hard and they were meant to enjoy life, not just endure it. Ria had always shot back that she did enjoy her life and that had been the truth at the time. But after her little involuntary vacation, she'd come to realize that she was burying herself in her work because she was unhappy and the only thrill that she got was chasing down a new bit of information. Truthfully, even that had begun to lose its shine in the last few months, leading her to look further and further afield in search of something, anything, that could keep her occupied and engaged.
While she had been lost in her thoughts, Ward had waved and exchanged cheerful greetings with those they passed. At one point, he tugged on her sleeve and told her to hold on before jogging over to a stone fence with a wooden gate where a farmwife was clearly motioning for him to come over.
Ria examined their surroundings curiously. While she'd been busy thinking, they had left the village proper and entered the surrounding farmlands. As far as she could see, neat fields dotted the landscape along with barns and cottages. In the distance, she could see figures out in the fields going about their days, even at this early of an hour. Now that she wasn't stuck in her thoughts, the varied birdsong reached her ears along with the hum and buzz of various insects. Used to the roar and noise of a city, she found the sounds relaxing.
Not only that but the smells around her. She was used to the stink of exhaust, the smell of heated concrete, and the overwhelmingly cloying scents of too many perfumes in too small of a space. She had begun taking the stairs instead of the elevators for this very reason. But here, there was only the scent of green, growing things. She couldn't name them, but they were fresh and soothing, not acrid to her nose like all the artificial scents were. Even the faint dusty scent of the dirt road was grounding and she found herself relaxing as she drew in all the sights, sounds, and scents.
Ward chose that moment to rejoin her carrying two mugs, holding one out for her to take. She took it and peeked in curiously, a frothy white liquid meeting her gaze. "What's this?"
He took a long swallow, "This is fresh buttermilk, no better way to start your day."
She had always wanted to try fresh buttermilk, so she took an eager sip. She was not disappointed, the creamy richness filling her senses and seeming to carry her worries away. She quickly drained the mug, savoring each sip as she tried to commit the flavor to memory. She reluctantly handed the empty mug back, "That was delicious, thank you."
He took the mug, studying her closely. "You look a little better now. Are you ok? We can still turn back, no shame or worry. I know that this is a lot to take in, many star travelers say that this world can be very overwhelming at first."
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She shook her head, offering him a small smile. "No, I wish to continue. I was just lost in thoughts of home."
He frowned at that, "Sad thoughts? Because I know that your family must realize how hard you are working to return to them. I've only known you for a little while now and I know that you would do anything for your family."
She softened at that, fiddling with the cuff of her sleeve, "That's very sweet of you. But no, I was thinking of your family. They were so warm and welcoming to me, I can't recall the last time I spent such a lovely time with other people. I had become so entrenched in my work that I was letting my life pass me by. That I was missing out on everything truly important for living for a job that won't even matter a few weeks down the road, let alone years or decades. It's true, trends move fast, but they fade away just as quickly. So what was the point of spending so much time doing it only to miss out on moments that I could've been sharing with family and friends."
He nodded, his expression softening in response to her words, "It's hard, when you strive to do your very best no matter what, to always remember what is a priority. From what I've seen during our time together, you will not be satisfied with less than giving your absolute best on any task. However, the downside to that is such tasks can become time traps and a way of hiding away from the world and a fear of failure. When my family and I first came here, I threw myself into any and every task, scared that if I didn't do well enough, we would be returned to the slums that we had just barely escaped. I was the one who had received the invitation, however since I was invited to become a guardian, I was allowed to bring my kin. While I could survive returning to that world, my mother and sister definitely wouldn't last long, especially with how pretty Lynne was growing."
Seeing his white-knuckled grip on the mug, she quickly rested her hand lightly on his forearm. She soothed, "Obviously that didn't happen. And I can't see Audrilandre returning a person that they invited so easily. I mean, there are probably billions and trillions of people scattered across the worlds and only a very, very, very small percentage of the people receive an invitation. Not only that, but some people probably do turn the invitation, too attached to their current lives or afraid of change, even if it's for the better. I think that those who do choose to come here are regarded as very precious."
He huffed a sigh, his grip relaxing, "True. But I didn't know that at the time and no one really thought in those terms. They had accepted the invitation, it was permanent, that was it. They had chosen to leave everything behind, even their families if they had them, and start everything anew. Not only that, but the guardians' ranks have always been rather thin. Especially right before my drop, nearly a dozen guardians had died in the takedown of a seven-star monster. So while the current guardians pooled their time and resources to train me and the other new guardians, there wasn't a lot of spare time to deal with the shapeless worries of the new recruits. We learned on the run and the first couple of years seemed to be nothing but running."
He gestured for her to wait and jogged back over to where the farmwife was watching them intently, smiling and thanking her for the treat. When she glanced over at where she was waiting, Ria smiled and waved her own thanks. The woman positively beamed at that, saying something to Ward before grinning and shooing him away.
He rejoined her, slightly flushed from whatever the woman had said. Instead of prying and further embarrassing him, she decided to pick up the thread of their conversation, "That must've been rough, new world, new rules, pressure to be perfect or risk being sent back, all that on top of learning your new duties at a run."
He shrugged, starting back down the road, "It was rough for a while and I even ended up almost driving my family away in my fear and exhaustion. However, about six months in, Mama sat me down and had a rather firm talk with me, helped me get my head on straight. Then, she sent me to bed like I was a toddler where I proceeded to sleep for a full day. After that, I eased up a little, able to put things in a bit better perspective. Still, it oftentimes takes a change of scenery or an outsider's perspective in order for us to realize where we're going wrong."
Ria merely nodded, turning that over for several minutes and allowing the tension to gradually drain from her. Ward was right, sometimes it took a major shift for people to realize that things needed to change. Not only that, Ria could only move forward, she couldn't change the past. So now, she just had to move forward and do the best that she could. Whatever that might look like.