Why Am I Alive?

I Have Asked This Question So Many Times In My Life But Never Found An Answer.

Why Was I Born?

My Birth Had No Meaning All It Caused Was Suffering.

My Mother Was A Very Beautiful Person.

White And Soft Skin Like That Of Freshly Baked Bread, Long Hair Which Was Desired And Envied At The Same Time By Many People, A Tender Personality, And Eyes That Were Blue Which Looked Like Diamonds.

If She Lived In An Ordinary City And Not In The Slums She Could Have Lived A Wondrous Life As A World-Class Model Or An Actor By Now.

But That Beauty Came With Many Difficulties In The Slums.

In The Slums, She Was Extremely Envied By The Women And Sought After By The Men.

She Didn't Have The Power To Protect Her Beauty.

History Has Shown Many Times The Greed Of Humanity And It Has Also Shown Their Insatisfyable Lust.

"Mister, What Are You Doing? Please Stop And Let Me Go"

"No Why Would I"

"Mister Please Don't Touch Me No!!"

"Stop Squirming Around So Much"

"Are You Doing This Cause I Look Like Shit Huh? Are You Too Good Looking For Me"

"Do You Want To Kill Me Huh?"

"N-No I Never Thought Of That Please Just Let Me Go"

"Really But It's Written All Over Your Face"

"Well, Whatever It Doesn't Matter Because..."

"There Are A Set Of Rules Everbody Obeys Those Are The Law Of The World"

"If Someone Stronger Than You Says Strip Then You Strip"

"Hey What Are You Doing Stop... No, Don't No!!! Stop It Please!!"

"Stop It, You Bastard!! Stop!!"

Well, This Was How My Father Committed One Of The Greatest Sin Against My Mother And Thus I Came Into This World.

Maybe It Was Because Of That My Mother Wanted To Deny My Existence.

Maybe That's Why She Never Gave Me My Meals Or Washed My Clothes.

Even If I Was On The Verge Of Starvation And Tugged The Hem Of Her Skirt She Wore For Food All She Would Do Was Look Disgusted While My Father Threw Trash On Me.

My Father Was Drunkard He Would Come Home Fully Drunk And Cuss At My Mother.

If My Mother Wasn't Home He Would Cuss At Me And Sometimes Even Throw Bottles At Me.

One Day My Mother Finally Spoke To Me.

"Theo. Do Enjoy Living?"

When She Asked Me This Question All I Could Say Was.

"I Don't Know..."

After Asking Me The Question She Got Out Something From A Shopper It Was A Book.

The She Told Me.

"Life Is Meant To Be Enjoyed"

When She Said That All I Could Do Was Laugh And Cry Because She Said Something Extremely Funny To Me And Something I Wanted To Hear For A Long Time.

At That Time I Didn't Understand Why I Cried Or Laughed.

Then She Said Something Again While I Was In Going Through A Spur Of Emotion.

"Enjoy My Life From Now On"

My Mother Said While Smiling Extremely Broadly But I Couldn't Understand How You Could Enjoy Something Like This But I Would Try For My Mother.

"I Bought It For You, Take It"

I Didn't Know What This Book Was I Never Saw Something Like It Before.

I Read What It Said But I Stammered A Lot.

"The... Li..fe Of A Leg..endary Assa..ssin A..fter Retirement"

"What Is This?"

"It's A Manga People Say Every Kid Loves This'

"Manga?"

I Saw Books Before But Never Saw Books Like This It Had So Many Pictures I Was So Captivated.

My Mother Smiled Broadly As She Saw Me.

After That My Mother Read The Story For Me It Was The First Time I Felt Something I Think People Call It Happiness.

I Didn't Know How Read Properly So She Taught Me.

For The First Time, My Mother Didn't Frown When She Saw Me Happy Nor Did She Hit Me.

I Thought The Moment Would Last Forever.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

After Finishing Reading The Story She Gave Me Another Book.

"Read This Yourself For Now I'm Going To Go Somewhere"

My Mother Talked As Though She Would Never Come Back So I Walked Closer To Her And Tugged Her Skirt Hoping She Would Stay.

She Removed My Hand Gently And Then Held It.

After That She Kissed My Hand And Said.

"I Love You And I'm Going To Enjoy My Life Now Too So Don't Worry"

I Thought Was She Going To Get Another Manga Afterall She Already Read Them.

I Thought It Would Be Fun If She Read Me The Book For A Little Longer But She Wants To Read Other Books Too.

"Will You Read With Me Again?"

"... Yes After You Finish Reading The Book"

"Okay! Don't Forget"

Before She Left The House She Called Be Again Once More.

"Theo."

"What?"

"Be Happy"

"...And Don't Die"

She Said With A Heavy Expression As She Looked At Me And A Tear Fell From Her Eyes Maybe She Thought I Wouldn't Be Able To Read On My Own.

I Tried To Reassure Her So I Said In A Brave And Confident Voice.

"I Can Read Very Well So Don't Worry"

"...Yeah I'm Sure You'll Be Very Good"

My Mother Had A Smile Before She Turned Away From The House.

I Sat There Reading The Book For Hours And Improving My Reading Skills.

I Wanted Suprise Her On How Well I Could Read.

When I Peaked Out I Saw It Was Dark So I Thought She Would Be Coming Back Soon So I Waited Close To The Door Then I Heard A Noise.

-Squeak

"H-How Was Your..."

But When I Saw The Door Open Fully It Was My Father Not My Mother.

"..."

He Looked Around And He Couldn't See My Mother So He Searched The Entire House But Couldn't Find Her He Eventually Gave Up And Approached Me.

He Approached With A Terrifying Expression On His Face.

"Where?"

"What?"

"Where Is She?"

Pak-!

"...Keuk!"

My Father Slapped Me With His Hand On My Cheek. It Felt As Though I Were Hit By A Steel Rod.

I Couldn't See Well After The Slap But It Seemed As Though He Were About To Slap Me Again.

Pak-!

"...Keuk!"

"Fuck Where Did That Bitch Go? That Bitch Took All My Money!"

"Tell Me Where She Went! Now!"

Pak-!

Pak-!

I Who Had Fallen Due To My Father's Indiscriminate Beatings Got Kicked By Him.

He Kicked Me Indefinitely But All I Could Do Was Roll To The Side Of The Wall And Pray To God That This Would End Quickly.

After A While My Father Left The House With An Annoyed Expression While Grunting.

As I Was Laying On The Ground I Thought.

Was Mother...Not Coming Back?

Even Though I Was Young I Knew She Would Not Come Back At That Time All I Could Think Was Why Didn't I Stop Her.

But Still, I Read The Book She Gave Me Even Though I Had Bruises All Over My Body I Bore With The Pain.

But I Believed She Would Come Back After I Finished Reading Yeah She's Gonna Come Back.

Yeah, It's My Fault She's Not Coming Back Because I Haven't Finished Reading The Book.

My Father Didn't Come Home For A Few Days While He Was Gone I Tried To Finish The Book My Mother Gave Me.

During That Time, I Skipped Meals And Slept Less All I Could Think Was I Want To Be With My Mother I Want Us To Be Happy.

I Wanted My Father To My Mother Back But I Hated Myself When I Thought That But It Wasn't The Time So I Just Read And Read.

And Finally,

"Finished!"

-Squeak

I Heard The Door Opening.

I Was So Happy

"Y-you're Back..."

But Standing In front Of Me Wasn't My Mother But My Father.

He Said.

"...You Cook The Food From Now On And Do All The Chores..."

From That Day On It Was Hell.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I Had To Fill My Mother's Vacancy.

So From Preparing Breakfast Every Day To Doing Errands For Him.

Fortunately, Since I Always Had To Do This I Was Good At It And I Always Watched My Mother So It Wasn't Hard Mimicking Her.

However, Some Housework Always Felt Too Much For Me To Handle.

"Fuck! You Want To Kill Me Too Now Hic Huh?"

Pak-!

That Housework Was Dealing With Drunk Father.

My Father Always Hit My Mother But Ever Since My Mother Left He Started Hitting Me.

And Unlike My Mother, I Wasn't Very Talented At Holding My Emotions Back.

"Hey What's With That Look On Your Face? Do You Think I'm Shit Huh? You Want To Kill Me When I'm Sleeping"

"...I've Never Had Such Thoughts"

"I'll Fulfill My Role As Your Father Today I'll Teach You The Law Of The World"

"Yes"

"This Is A Very Simple Rule If Someone Is Stronger Than You... You Bow Down To Them Okay Very Simple"

"..."

"So What I Mean Is Don't Show Me Those Eyes When you're Weaker Than Me!"

Pak-!

Pak-!

It Wasn't Until He Finished All The Pent Up Frustration He Had On Me That My Nightly Routine Would End.

Whenever The Beatings Would End I Would Go To The Basement And Read There.

I Would Keep The Light As Low As Possible So I Wouldn't Be Noticed.

Even Though I've Read It Over A Dozen And A Dozen Of Times There Are Only Two Books That I Have One Was Thrown In The Trash By My Father And Destroyed So Now I Can Only Read One.

At This Point, I Know All Of The Plot And Each Word Each Character Says.

My Life Has Become So Boring To The Point I Wish I Could Just Die.

How Am I Supposed To Live A Few More Decades?.

Why Am I Alive?

Can't I Just Die?

Why Was I Born?

I Thought About This For Many Days And Nights But Couldn't Find The Answer.

Maybe It's A Problem That Is Too Difficult For A 13 Year Old To Solve Who Knows.

One Day I Was Eventually Able To Solve This Dilemma.

*    *  *  *    *    *  *    *  *

"I Have An Errand For You."

One Day My Father Said He Had An Errand For Me.

"Go To Grey's House"

At That Time, There Was A Mechanic Named Grey Who Was Living In The Slums.

He Earned His Nicknamed Grey Due To Him Painting Everything He Fixed Grey He Even Went As Far As Painting His Own Hair Grey.

Everyone Thought He Was Mentally Unstable.

Grey Was A Very Unfriendly Person He Didn't Like To Talk To Anyone Besides For Business But For Some Unknown Reason, He Was Extremely Kind To Me.

If I Bumped Into A Thug In The Slums And He Was There He Would Help Me Out He Would Even Sometimes Give Candies He Had On Hand.

I Thought That He Was Sending Me On This Errand Because He Knew Of Our Relationship.

"I Understand. I'll Be Back Soon"

"Yeah I Do Believe You'll Do Well"

And So On That Day, I Visited Grey's House For The Errand My Father Sent Me On.

But There Was Something Wrong About This Errand...

Instead Of A Shopping Bag, He Told Me To Bring A Knife.

-Stab

I Stabbed The Person Who Greeted And Welcomed Me Into Their House.

As He Collapsed On The Ground, I Hurriedly Closed The House's Door.

Even Though I Couldn't Understand What Was Happening I Started Crying My Eyes Became Tear As I Saw Him Bleed.

But He Was Still Alive.

He Said.

"Y-you..."

He Had A Shocked Expression When He Looked Up.

But I Still Had A Knife Pointed At Him.

"I'm Sorry But My Father Ordered It"

"Keuk... Bloody Hell, That Fucking Bastard..."

"He Said He'll Let Me Meet My Mother If I Kill You So I Had No Choice"

"Th-Theo... You're Being Fooled By Him. He Said You'll Be Able To Meet Her But She Died A Long Time Ago! Qui-Quickly Put Down The Knife"

"What Do You Mean She Died"

I Sat There In Shock When I Heard That She Died Even Though I Knew That Fact Deep Down.

After Accepting The Fact Of Her Death I Asked Grey As He Was About To Die About Who Killed Her.

"He Said Nobody Killed Her But Your Father Was The Main Cause"

After Grey Died I Felt Overwhelming Guilt Due To My Actions Causing His Death.

But I Didn't Have Time To Feel Remorse.

Because I Had To Take Revenge Against My Father For The Death Of My Mother.

Soon After I Left Grey House And Took The Knife Out Of Grey's Body With Me.

I Decided It Would Be Best To Kill Him As Soon As Night Falls.

So I Entered The House Normally Followed My Normal Routine Of Getting Beaten Cussed At And More.

"Finally He Fell Asleep"

I Said My Thoughts Out Loud Due To Being Extremely Relieved.

But It Was Extremely Hard For Me To Kill Him Even Though He Was A Trash Father He Still Was My Father.

I Took My Knife Out Which Still Had Stains Of Blood From Me Stabbing Grey And Stabbed Him.

"I Did It"

"I Avenged You"

After Killing My Father I Felt Relieved But Mostly Remorseful.

I Cried And Cried To The Point I Couldn't Cry No More.

My Eyes Were Teary After All The Crying But I Was Sure I Saw A Screen.

And I Was Right After Clearing My Eyes From My Tears There Was Screen That Said.

[Do You Want To Go To Another World?]

The Second I Saw This I Remembered The Manga I Read It Had A Similar Plot To This So I Instinctively Said.

"Y-yes"

To Be Continued...