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I Totally Don't Have Anger Problems!
13 – Complicated Feelings

13 – Complicated Feelings

Ulindi had provided me the location of Zerana’s establishment, the Suggestion, but I would have to do some planning first. Mainly due to how entering in my normal attire could lead to me being mistaken for one of the staff. Carrying a weapon might help dispel that impression, but it could also attract the ire of the bouncers, which was a problem since I would have to ask Zerana for a favor. Irritating.

Speed would be my friend, I decided. If I quickly reached the front desk, that would mean less time for anyone to get the wrong idea. Then it would just be a matter of convincing Zerana that it was worth her time to teach me some useful skills. Corinn had a good deal of money and power, so that was something, and she presumably didn’t want her home city getting overrun by Olgieirians, though convincing her of that might be harder. And of course, there was also the fact that once I was finally powerful enough to do what I wanted, I would be a useful connection to have. All in all, that should be enough incentives to get something worthwhile.

Well, that covered planning. No reason to delay, I still needed to get stronger before facing another serious challenge. I headed out the door with no issues, and began making my way to the location in the trade district where I would hopefully lay a foundation for making this city do what I wanted.

*****************************************************

The Suggestion proved to be a three-story building with an exterior of white marble decorated by feathery shapes of plaster running along the walls, which lacked any other adornment, such as windows. The arch of the main entryway was topped by an inscription of “The Suggestion” in flowery letters, and underneath, a double door of mahogany framed in bronze led into the unknown interior.

To avoid trouble, I would need to move quickly. Advance, locate the front desk as soon as possible, and then I could state my intent before any misunderstandings could occur. Well then, time to move.

I pushed open the doors, and stepped through, becoming visible lest I be mistaken for an intruder. There were no bouncers visible inside, just a hallway ending in a junction a short distance in, with yellow-glowing crystals illuminating wooden panels and rich red carpeting. Advancing inward, I noted that both sides of the junction featured stairways curving downward further into the building. And someone was coming up one of them.

I took the other route, speeding up. The main desk was probably in the chamber this stairway led to, so I would need to be ready to accelerate… yes, there it was. A desk on the other end of a floor filled with tables, where people of both genders were drinking and dining, elevated slightly so it was visible… wait, some people are turning to look, I’ll need to JUMP!

Yes, one leap was all it took! And nobody else is in line, so there will be no further delay! Everyone is looking now though, but I’m sure I can clear things up!

The woman behind the desk, a thin brunette in a green dress, seemed taken aback, but she soon recovered and addressed me. “Hello, you can call me Yanna. Since you seem so eager, I presume you’re looking to partake of our services?”

Hmm… it seemed I may have miscalculated the impression I gave. But now I was in a position to clarify, so it was no matter. “Not really. I was hoping for a consultation with Madame Fieri. There are several ways I could make it worth her while.”

She frowned, and paused to consider. “I’m afraid I’ll need a bit more to go off of than that. Who might you be exactly?”

Who am I? The nerve! Although… I hadn’t exactly spread my name yet… that would have to change. In fact, the plan was to use knowledge from here to help change that! But for now, things were going to be more difficult.

“I am Talia Shimada. I’m a trusted guard in the service of Primarch Corinn Illorum, and I’m looking to expand my capabilities. I’m sure there are ways that the madame can be compensated for her time.”

“Talia Shimada…” she reflects. “Well, if you would wait, I shall let her know you are here.”

Wait… she actually did know my name? How could she have learned of that? The only people I interacted with since entering the city were… Corinn’s household staff, assassins, the shopkeeper, Ulindi, and some members of the espionage ministry… yeah, it was probably the spies. To be expected really. The question was, what impression had Madame Fieiri been given. I reflected on that without reaching any conclusions while gazing at the empty desk and the door the woman had passed through a short while earlier.

The person to enter through that door was strikingly different, with intense red locks passing through golden hair ornaments, and a body sporting streamers of scarlet gauze held in place with golden filigree, covering the most desired parts of a truly exceptional figure while leaving adjacent regions selectively exposed. Gold-wrought bracelets adorned her, neck, forearms, and ankles, contrasting with her porcelain skin. I was jealous. I wanted to look like that!

“Well, you must be Talia Shimada,” she said in a musical voice, with the hint of a mischievous smile. “I’ve heard some very interesting things about you. Did you really block a crossbow bolt with a boulder in your present attire, in the middle of a public street?”

“It accomplished the goal I intended it to.” No need to dignify that event with any further response.

“Yes, I can see you are very goal-driven,” she acknowledged, smiling. “With that in mind, what brings you here, Talia Shimada?”

“Coming out ahead in this city’s political environment requires knowledge I don’t have, which is difficult to acquire. You have a reputation for being proficient at navigating it, and I was hoping there were some things you were willing to teach. I’m sure it can be made worth your while.”

“Interesting…” she murmured, gazing at me with a thoughtfulness that was almost performative. She straightened abruptly, and started walking away as the woman who had previously staffed the desk retook her place. “Well then,” she said, turning back to me, “you may follow. And yes, I am Zerana Fieri.”

Well, that was a bit presumptuous, but I wasn’t about to discard an opportunity. She led me through a doorway within a shrouded alcove, and the eyes of patrons that had be regarding us returned to their previous occupations. The hallway beyond was made of grey stone bricks, though the floor was still carpeted. She turned through an open doorway, and I followed. I saw her standing on a stairwell tapping the wall, and the door behind me suddenly slid shut. If this was a trap…

“Well then. Now that we have some privacy, we can begin. Before I start guiding my employees toward a better understanding of their own abilities, I first consider their background, and I must say, you are an interesting puzzle. Your attitude suggests higher-income upbringing, yet you lack the manners one would expect from that, and your class distribution doesn’t match at all…”

Wait, she could see my Classes? Was that an Ability?

She seemed to note my surprise. “Detect Class is a somewhat common Ability for higher level individuals who regularly assess people. Don’t worry, having the Thief class isn’t illegal… as long as you don’t get caught.” She smiled again and continued. “It’s almost as if you weren’t raised knowing how classes worked at all… very strange…”

This conversation was starting to get dangerous. I’d been told she was very high-level, and she seemed to be an expert in reading people. I might have to give more information to satisfy her curiosity, but what if she caught me lying? Best to remain silent unless she pushed for something.

She considered me quietly for a while, and then resumed speaking. “Well, you clearly have some interesting secrets. I look forward to learning more. For now though, I have enough for us to start. You seek power and control, things that have been limited to you for much of your life. You enjoy bending others to your wishes, and freely indulging in your desires. You have a lessened response to the fortunes and misfortunes of others, and repress what you have.”

How was this relevant? I wanted to learn how to influence others, not be told about myself!

Once again, she seemed to read my reaction before I could say anything. “You think this unrelated? If you wanted to cut down a tree, you would use a rather different approach with an axe than with a saw. Likewise, you will find yourself struggling to achieve anything of import if you use methods suited to someone else. The first step towards the directed influencing of other people is to understand yourself, and how you want to interact with the world. So now, think. What sort of interactions do you find most… satisfying?”

She had a point. The bonuses from Mental Clarity had been what finally motivated me to think about how emotions actually worked, and without that, the progress I had made would not have occurred. So, on to her question. I liked beating up anything that thought they could take me… in particular, it was satisfying to look at their defeated form afterward… I also liked convincing other people to do things I really wanted… did the result actually feel better just because it came with the knowledge that I’d obtained it by getting another person to work for me? Perhaps…

“I think… I most enjoy interactions that exercise my power? It just feels… right when I… bend people to my will…” Did I say more than I should have? Oh well, none of it was wrong.

Zerana smiled more broadly. “There, now you’re getting started! You’ve doubtless already found numerous ways to coerce people through force, but I can tell you’re looking to better manipulate them through guile. So, here’s a first lesson: if you’re trying to make someone do something, it’s best to start by clouding their judgement. If someone is distracted, be it by their own thoughts, intense emotions, or the subtle hint of a nipple beneath folds of cloth, they will give less thought to your own words. Give them a plausible chain of arguments, get them to agree at the end, and they will often do your work for you afterward in justifying the conclusion you led them to. It takes practice, to keep them focused enough to follow your words, and also distracted enough not to question them, but the result can be extremely rewarding.”

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

Her demeanor abruptly shifted from relaxed to energetic. “Well then! That should give you something to practice! Now, I just have one more thing to show you…”

She began gliding up the stairs, and there was nothing to do but follow her. I’d hoped for more, but she had given me something to try, and perhaps I could visit again in the future? She did seem like she had all sorts of useful skills. The simple pleasure she seemed to derive from life… there was something in there that I wanted.

We came out into a hallway, better decorated than the previous one. She opened a door on the other end and gestured for me to enter. Strange that she wasn’t going in… but her help had been useful so far… I chose to enter. There was nothing in here for me to be afraid of.

The door closed behind me. I whirled and looked at the wooden frame, with a gilded handle and carved decorations. Was she seriously trying to trap me here? I could-

“Well, it’s about time one of you finally showed up.”

I whirled again, and saw a man lounging in a four-poster bed. Dark slacks contrasted with his bare chest, dark hairs accentuating the muscles along his abdomen and arms. Trimmed black hair and a beard decorated a face that would have been attractive, if it were not currently sneering. That really ruined the effect.

I bristled. How dare he! Wait, Zerana had sent me here! What was she thinking! This was her fault! I was going to-

“Is standing there all you can do? I don’t mind the view, but I thought this establishment had higher standards.”

Okay, that was enough! I would deal with Zerana later, but for now this man needed to be taught some manners!

“Do you even ta-”

I jumped forward, grabbed his neck, then turned and slammed him against the wall. He was too taken aback to react at first, but then gripped my forearm with both hands and started pushing it away. He was actually fairly strong! BUT I WAS STRONGER!

I GRIPPED both his arms and PUSHED! I was going to HOLD them BEHIND HIS BACK! I would CONTROL my anger for MAXIMUM effect! His attempts to kick me DIDN’T MATTER; he was too CLOSE to do anything ANYWAY. I just had to-

“Who the hell are you? How did you get here! I paid for top service!”

He WAS… a client, and Zerana had SENT… me TO HIM? She WOULD PAY! But FIRST I just needed to KEEP PUSHING this guy’s arms… THERE! His arms were pinned, now he was helpless! Now I could make him regret his words!

“You think I’m just some streetwalker you can talk down to?” I shouted in his face. “You’re just another arrogant idiot who didn’t realize what he was up against! I’ve killed more of those than I can count already!”

“You… wouldn’t dare!” he said, though his face became slightly paler.

I tightened my grip on both of his wrists with one hand, while extricating the other. An increase in pressure kept him thoroughly pinned. His body actually felt rather good… if it weren’t for the attitude…

I could have retrieved a dagger to put to his throat, but I wanted him terrified, so a greatsword would be better to drive the point home. As the massive blade materialized, its edges resting against his throat and an inch away from mine, he seemed to finally get the message.

“Please, I don’t know who you are, I must have… confused you for someone else! Please let me go!”

That was a start, but I wasn’t about to let his attitude slide with just a few words! Time to start making demands!

“Say that you’re sorry to insult one of your betters!”

“What, I-”

A carefully controlled motion saw the greatsword slide along his neck, damaging the skin without piercing it. Graceful Movement had all sorts of useful side-benefits! He was certainly more scared now: I could feel the motion of his rapid breathing against my own chest.

“O- okay! I’m… sorry to… insult one of my betters.” He was soon speaking through gritted teeth.

I smiled, and leaned forward, inclining the greatsword so that my own neck was not resting against the blade. “Now say it again… like you mean it!” I pushed him harder against the wall, and tightened my grip on his wrists, for emphasis.

“I- I’m sorry to insult o-one of my betters!” He was breathing even more heavily, and his fear was very evident. Progress!

What next? It felt nice to have a warm body pressed against mine, completely under my control… He thought I was there to service him… oh how wrong he was… But first, I would have to make him beg…

The disappearance of my greatsword sparked a flash of hope in his eyes, but then a knee to the groin left him thoroughly incapacitated. I took the opportunity to remove his pants, before slamming him back into the wall in the same position as before. I spoke.

“I might be persuaded to let you go, but you must make yourself of use to me first. You are nothing to me; try to place your own desires first, and I will show you the true meaning of pain!” I used my free hand to first throttle his neck, before sliding it along his face, digging my nails against his cheek, and finally letting them pass just overtop one of his eyes as his whole body flinched. I felt it, and it felt good.

“Well?” I continued. “Can you submit to my will?” Part of me felt like I might be overdoing it… but saying it felt so good…

He hesitated. I placed my hand over the top of his head, and started to squeeze. As his pain became increasingly visible, I decided to see if an Alluring Smile would help persuade him. “Submit.”

He shivered, as his pain and fear both grew more acute. Interestingly, I could also feel him growing hard against my hips, despite the damage I’d inflicted earlier, as they held him against the wall. Finally, as his skull started to bend, he broke.

“I- I submit!”

I relaxed my grip, turning his head to face mine directly while smiling more broadly. “You will do whatever I say. You will not question my commands. You exist to serve me. Repeat it!”

There was the slightest hint of hesitation, but it was dispelled by a quick intensification of my grip. “I will do whatever you say. I will not question your commands. I- I exist to serve you.” He was learning! This felt good!

Now, what would my first command be? I would… eventually want him inside me, but it wouldn’t do to let him get there too quickly. I wanted some… stimulation first, and though I was restraining his arms…

A step back sent him collapsing to the floor, and he spasmed in pain as my other hand kept his wrists elevated. “Satisfy me with your tongue!” I demanded, pressing his face between my legs. I was tickled by his beard as he got to work, fear and desperation speeding his motions. His work felt… good. His palpable fear really did make it better. I couldn’t let him get complacent though.

“Go deeper, let it explore! And move those lips!” I tightened my grip on his head for emphasis, and he complied. Oh yes, this was good! Why couldn’t I make people act like this all the time? This was so good! Oh yes!

I felt my own breathing hasten as pleasure coursed through my body. It was building up… I was going to need more… need it… NOW!

I lifted him up and slammed his body into the bed. “You will not move,” I hissed at him, my face an inch away from his. One hand seized his member and slid it inside me, and with the other, I pressed his face against mine as hard as I could, feeling his lips, his breath, his tongue… With a hand now free, I could run it along his back, holding him against me. He could not escape. He was mine! The lips pressed against mine, the muscular arms and legs resting limply on the bed, the smooth back I held firmly in place, and of course his presence inside, the warmth that filled me, and pleasured me, a pleasure that was still building, which still needed… more…

“You will squeeze my breasts. You will do it quickly, and hard!” I removed my face from his in order to give the command, and saw in his face a mixture of fear, awe, and desperate desire. It was intoxicating. As I pressed his face back into position, I felt his hands obeying my will. Yes! Yes that was it! I was so close! Getting… so… close! Oh yes! Yes, this was it! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! Oh… oh yes!

I had removed his face again to catch a breath. His hands still did their work, though now he looked hesitant. He was properly afraid now! “Remove your hands,” I instructed and he hastily complied, feeling the grip of my fingers upon his skull. Already so obedient… Was that it now? He seemed to be struggling to control himself… oh right. He did still have one more warmth to give…

“You may release it,” I declared. His faced showed relief as I felt him discharging inside me. That too felt good. I took another breath, as he looked at me with fear and… hope? What was he hopeful about? Getting released? Or had he actually enjoyed that?

Oh well, it wasn’t my concern if he enjoyed getting forced into submission. I just needed to teach him the folly of his arrogance… and get an appropriate reward for my trouble… Now, it was time to leave, I just needed to figure out how to make Zerana pay for putting me in there with such a disrespectful person to begin with! I would figure it out.

As I slid off the bed and headed for the door, his eyes followed. He spoke as I touched the handle.

“That… was something else. I apologize for impugning the quality of this establishment.”

Wait, he still thought I worked here? I glared, and he cringed backward. Well, at least he’d learned something. I opened the door and stepped outside, to find Zerana Fieri looking directly at me with a broad smile. I had an accusation ready, but she spoke first.

“Marvelously done! As long as you find the right task for your temperament, your instincts can take you very far indeed! I trust you enjoyed yourself?”

Several reactions warred inside me, only for a notification to interrupt them all.

[Level Up: Courtesan Level 15!]

[Ability Obtained: Arousing Touch!]

Well, at least I got something out of this. I also settled on a response.

“You were listening the whole time?”

“Of course,” she replied. “You were looking for instruction on persuasion methods. In that case, you observed how a hard-to-make argument becomes more convincing if you can make the subject… want to be persuaded. You’re a smart young woman, I’m sure you’ll figure out other applications. Enjoy your new Courtesan levels!”

My head spun. There were many layers to this, and I needed to figure them out…

“Wait, did you just trick me into doing your work for free?”

“It’s hardly free if you learned a valuable lesson,” she answered, her smile turning mischievous again. “And my time is precious, I granted it to you because I find you interesting. If you ever feel inclined to share more about your mysterious past, you’re welcome to return. I’m sure I can make it… worth your while.”

Once again, she had a point. I controlled my disgruntled expression as best I could, and followed the route she indicated toward the exits. Not wanting to make a scene, I decided to go invisible before entering the main lounge. A leap to the stairwell helped blow off steam, and shortly afterward, I was back in the streets of Almandir, reflecting on what I had learned.

I’d… learned the importance of finding social opportunities that played to my strengths. There had been a tip about finding ways to partially distract people while making an argument. And then… another tip about make a subject want to be persuaded. Along with… practice. Admittedly, it had been enjoyable practice.

Had she manipulated me? Yes, but she was probably right about her time being valuable, so I hadn’t exactly been cheated. More concerning was the fact that she’d been able to manipulate me at all. She was high-level, but some of the people I would need to interact with were high-level too. I couldn’t let that stop me. I would need to stay alert for other manipulation attempts… in fact, that might be the most important lesson from this entire trip.

As for Zerana herself, would I take her up on her offer? Not right away, the secrets of Earth were too risky to reveal right now. But if the situation changed, she might be useful, although I wouldn’t be able to control her…

She was just another potential opportunity to keep in mind, I decided, my rapid stride carrying me swiftly down the street. For now, I had enough in the way of social methodology to keep me practicing for a while. I now needed to focus on learning more about the city’s social environment. I was feeling confident. My conditions on arrival had been uncertain, but I had made progress yesterday, and made more progress today! In time, this city would be mine!