“YYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHH!”
As the memories faded away yet again, I screamed.
The overpowering emptiness of the endless white void surrounding me consumed the sound almost immediately.
I screamed again. And again. And again.
Every time, the sound died almost the instant it came out of my mouth, smothered so quickly I almost wondered if I’d actually screamed or not, except for the lingering tingle on my lips.
This was Hell. Had to be. Trapped in an infinite void of nothingness, constantly assaulted by all of my worst memories and deepest failures? Forced to bear the ever increasing weight of unending guilt as I’m forced to live through them over and over? Spending eternity grappling with the fact that I had never lived up to a single goal I’d ever made in life?
Yeah, had to be Hell. I couldn’t think of anything worse. I’d rather there be no afterlife at all than this.
Did I really have a choice in the matter? No, I didn’t. I was dead. Strangled, my body laying in some pool of magical ‘quicksilver’ in the Tower of Trials, or wherever the hell that place had actually been. Maybe my body wasn’t even there any more. Maybe His Majesty had just shaken His head when I died and *poof*ed my body away.
So here I was, floating through this endless ocean of nothing. Floating and stewing.
Because god DAMN IT this was some total bullshit! I passed my Trial! No, I didn’t just pass, I passed with style. With a-plomb! I fucking crushed it! His Majesty’d even said so Himself! So why the hell did I have to do some b.s extra credit?
And it absolutely was some sort of bullshit. Oh sure, it had sounded simple enough. Defeat a copy of myself that was stronger than I am. Okay, seems pretty straight forward, I could work with that.
But they’d really undersold how strong that copy would be. Tobis, whatever that thing actually was, had been obnoxiously strong. How exactly was I supposed to fight something that much stronger and faster than me in a straight one v one, huh? I didn’t have a single special ability that could help, and raw fighting experience/skill can only make up so much of the difference.
Maybe some items could have helped. Like, a potion of bull’s strength or some other stat enhancement definitely would have made the fight go a little bit different, but pbbbbbbt, nuts to that. I couldn’t afford one of those! It’d taken me six months each to save up for my two healing potions, and even longer for the lesser radial bomb. And those had been sooooo useful. Because there was plenty of time to pop a potion in the heat of battle, right?
Fuckin’ bullshit man. I’d been screwed before I even started. Just like the rest of my life.
Bitter didn’t even begin to cover how I felt about it. Bitter was one sour grape, but it felt like I’d just eaten a whole bushel of them.
I’d given the Trial one hundred and fifty percent, just like everything else. I had to. In Foronea, nothing was free. If you wanted something, you had to take it yourself. Prove you were worth it. And to compete against everyone else’s (The Adjusted’s, specifically) natural abilities, I had to completely outperform them in raw hard work.
So that’s what I’d done. Ever since the day I’d found that letter, I’d dedicated my whole life to preparing for the Trial. Training for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every single day (Minus a couple here and there), for years and years. Plus busting my ass in manual labor jobs, sometimes more than one at a time, to slowly save up for the mediocre equipment and supplies I could get my hands on.
And that wasn’t fucking good enough? No, not just ‘not good enough’. I didn’t even have the potential to be good enough IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
No.
No no no no no NO.
Absolutely not.
I refuse to accept that. Refuse to accept this; that I’ll just be floating around here for the rest of goddamn eternity. I refuse to believe that my entire life was a complete waste of time; that everything I did was for nothing.
I refuse to learn my place. To stop being a problem for those who hurt others. To stop fighting, kicking, and screaming until I put every single Adjusted bastard who abuses their powers in chains.
And I especially, absolutely, utterly refuse to keel over and die, until I rip Harist and Glacidus Pallador apart limb by fucking limb.
“Well now, look at the fight in this little one.”
A voice echoed through the nothing. It carried great power, a depth like a bottomless hole, and was as phantasmal as smoke on the wind.
It was a force filled shout, whispered into my brain. A beautiful, enigmatic symphony, blending the elements of masculine and feminine as cleanly as a master artisan with his tools.
“All that indignation and conviction makes you very loud, little one. I could hear you from all the way across the Between. As a matter of fact, you woke me up from my nap.”
The blinding anger that had been building in me vanished in an instant, replaced by mystification at this new presence. It was almost the match of His Majesty in sheer grandioseness. Almost. And like His Majesty, the force of presence told me that it was in my best interest to at least attempt to be polite.
“My apologies. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
The voice chuckled. “Hmhmhm, well aren’t you a well mannered young one. No need to worry yourself about it though, I was long overdue to wake up anyway. Besides, I wouldn’t want to miss meeting a soul who has as much fire as you do.”
Well that sounded flattering, I think. “Uhm, thank you? Thank you!”
“You are quite welcome. Coming from me, it is indeed quite the compliment.”
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
Okay, so a bit of an ego on this one. Not exactly unusual for a mysterious disembodied voice, I suppose. Hopefully that meant they would be willing to talk freely and give up some info.
“I’m sorry, should I know who you are then? I don’t really know much about anything right now except that I’m dead.”
“Ohoho, my child, I would be truly surprised if you recognized my name.”
I waited for the voice to continue, but it didn’t. “So……?”
“So it won’t help you any if you know, and I’m not going to tell you. I like my air of mystery and intrigue, thank you. Besides, we have some much more interesting things we could be talking about right now.”
I quirked an eyebrow. Or, at least I felt like I quirked an eyebrow. Did souls really have eyebrows? “Oh yeah? Like what?”
The voice put on an air of smug nonchalance. “Oh, nothing too much. Just getting you back to the realm of the living. That sort of thing. No big deal.”
“I-gu-what?! Just like that?” My mouth dropped in shock. To my knowledge, resurrection was not casual, even for the Gods. It usually required some kind of meaningful ritual or took a lot from their own stores of power. But the voice made it sound so easy.
“Yes, just like that.”
I threw my hands up in celebration.
“Well, almost at least.”
They came right back down. I didn’t like dealing with ‘almost’. Because ‘almost something’ almost always actually meant ‘not at all like something’. “Not to be rude, but what exactly do you mean, ‘almost’?”
“Weeeell, it would be simple enough to plop your soul back into your body, once I took a second to find it. Buuuuut-” the voice tittered, almost childishly, “Who says I’m going to? Why should I?”
My hands slapped themselves to my face. I let out a groan of frustration in them. I wanted to scream. Of fricken’ course they wanted something in exchange! Again, very typical all-present-magical-voice type stuff, but what did I have to trade? Nothing! Oh, sorry, correction: I did still have my soul, but nuh-uh! I knew what happened when the wrong entity got their hands (Or whatever the heck they hads) on your soul. I wanted no part of it. My soul was off the table, period.
“Um, well, you would definitely be my new best friend, that’s for sure. I don’t have much to offer beyond that, but honestly, I’m pretty great. I think its a pretty good deal.”
“Aha! Ahahaha!” The voice let out a deep laugh. It was mesmerizing, like a kaleidoscope made of sounds. “Oh, a great deal indeed! You’re a shrewd salesman, young one. I needed a ‘new best friend’, especially one that’s already dead, and compares to me the same way as an ant compares to himself. Ohohoho, how delightfully rich.”
Normally such a caustic remark would have had me fuming, but the obvious sarcasm had me laughing instead. I didn’t expect the voice to banter so well. Like when your best bud told you to ‘fuck off and die’ with a joking punch to the shoulder; as opposed to when the crusty drunk in the corner of the bar said it. Big difference.
“Ow! Alright, alright, I get it! Hahaha! Sorry though, that’s still my best offer. I’m not gonna like, give you my soul or anything.”
The voice gasped in a way that was the auditory equivalent of a high born woman clutching at her pearls. “Ah! How rude! Do you believe I am some sort of devil, preying on lost, hapless souls, looking to strike up some sort of devious bargain?”
Uh oh. That didn’t seem to go over too well. Did I just make a big oops? Gosh I hope not. “I, n-no! Of course not!”
“Hmm hmm, relax young one. I’m only playing with you. No, I don’t want possession of your soul or anything of the sort.”
I let out a sigh of relief. I’d figured as much, whatever the voice was they sure didn’t seem hostile, but you never know. “Alright, awesome! Uh, so what do you want then?”
“Oh, its quite simple really. I just want to ask you a few questions, get to know you a little better.”
My lips pulled into a puzzled frown. “Uh, why? Sorry, not to be rude.”
“Do not apologize for asking why. Nothing in the Verse’s entire, varied lore has ever been achieved without first asking why. And because, I need to assess you and make sure you’re actually worth the effort of bringing back. All of the burning hot willpower in world is just a waste if not used in pursuit of something equally grand. So now, young one, I ask you why. Where does that fire come from? Why do you wish so strongly to return to life?”
“Oh that one’s easy. I need to beat my Trial, impress His Majesty, and receive my awesome Blessing.” I paused, scratching my chin for a second. “Oh, sorry, that probably doesn’t make much sense out of context.”
“Not specifically, no. But I am intimately aware of the situation. The idea of a life risking challenge, or ‘Trial’, followed by some boon or ‘Blessing’, is as old as the holy Verse itself. Though usually it isn’t referred to quite as on-the-nose, so to say. I think I rather like how straightforward it is. So, you earn this ‘awesome Blessing’ of yours. What do you do with it? What is your end game?”
I hesitated. How much of the whole truth should I say here? I mean, I’m not exactly Mr. Altruistic. I wasn’t doing all of this for world peace or anything.
I was planning on murdering at least two people in cold blood. Probably more. I’m sure the rest of the Pallador family won’t exactly just let me murder the head, and I wasn’t going to lose sleep over any extras who got in my way. No way around it, that’s just straight up revenge.
And does that make me a bad person? No, I don’t think so at all, they all deserve it. But that still doesn’t make it ‘Hero’ material.
What were the odds of whatever the voice belongs to having some sort of ‘detect lie’ nonsense? Probably pretty good. I would just have to tell the truth and hope ‘hero’ wasn’t what they were looking for.
“Frankly, my end game is vengeance. I want to bring justice to those who are wronged me.”
“Oh, how exciting! And who is that?”
“They’re the head of one of the most powerful noble families in my home country. They-”
The voice cut me off, yelling gleefully, “Oh, oh! Are you also an orphan? Or extremely impoverished, maybe?”
“Uhhhh, no I am definitely not an orphan. Though yes, unfortunately, I am dirt poor.” Not sure what that had to do with anything.
“That is just perfect! A young, vengeful champion rising out of the lowest slums, striking out at the corruption that is entrenched in the very core of his country. A classic!”
At that moment, something in the void changed. No longer still and lifeless, something began to move through it. It was warm, gentle, flowing over me like an early Sumter breeze.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
The voice happily responded, their enigmatic voice taking on a singsong lilt. “Why I’m sending you home little one! You have convinced me that reviving you shall be a good investment. I’m sure to get a lot of entertainment out of watching you.”
Really? That’s what this had all been about?
My mouth twisted into a sardonic grin. Fuck it, if that’s all it took to come back to life, I would happily be all the entertainment the voice could need.
I bowed, taking off an imaginary hat and flipping it extravagantly. “I shall not let you down. If you want me to be the star of the show, then I shall.”
The warm current grew stronger, turning into a rapid stream that began to swirl around me.
The voice laughed. “Ohoho, more than you know young one, more than you know. Oh, there we go, I’ve located your corpse. Ouch, that looks painful. Don’t worry, this spell will at least heal all critical wounds. You won’t be at full health, but you won’t be bleeding to death.
I nodded. I mean yeah, when I think resurrection, I imagine it coming with full health, but whatever. Beggars can’t be choosers I guess. “Okay. Thank you so much, uhhhh……Mysterious Voice. You’re really not going to tell me your name?”
They chuckled and I could just imagine the sly cat’s grin that came with it. “Hm hm hm, indeed I shall not. Mysterious Voice will suit me just fine.”
Faster and faster the stream swirled around me, quickly becoming a raging torrent, though it didn’t disturb so much as a hair on my head. As it did, my body began to disappear. It started with my hands and feet, both slowly turning translucent, then vanishing, the process then moving up the limb. As each part disappeared, my feeling of it went too. Though it didn’t hurt, suddenly having the feeling cut like that was nerve-wracking.
Alright, more than nerve-wracking, its downright scary. If I had a heart right now, it’d be racing.
As the disappearing act crept its way to my head, leaving me completely bodiless, Mysterious Voice called out to me one last time. “Oh, do be careful not to die again. You’ll have to get yourself out of here next time!”
Then I vanished completely.