Barra da Tijuca, Rio de Janeiro

It has been said that there are several ways to begin a story. Some choose to start with a prologue, or an exciting question that makes the reading more interesting. Others like to start with a dialogue between the main characters, and then proceed with the story. For example, see our heroes discussing the fundamental facts of life...

- How many people do I have to kill to become a serial killer? - Enzo asked, getting off the bus. - Six? Seven?

Well, I didn't say it would be this story.

- Three, I think. - Vini answered, even if without much interest.

- Only three? - Enzo was amazed. - So, if I back up the car and run over three people I should be concerned already?

- You're an idiot.

- What if I kill one person, but then accidentally run over two others? Does that count?

- I don't know, Enzo.

- I mean, I only intended to kill one. The other two were purely accidental.

Oh, Vini didn't know what awaited him. After all, he lied to Enzo about the reason for going out with him. While his friend thought it was a brief trip to the mall, Vini soon realized that he couldn't hide the lie for long. As the saying goes, lies have such short legs.

- What are we doing at the supermarket?

- I need to buy some things for dinner with Belgium.

Enzo quickly protested.

- You deceitful liar! You said we were going to the mall!

- Oh, cut the drama, you goof! I couldn't carry so many bags down the street, so I called you to come with me.

Oh, Vini would regret his decision.

- What a beauty! In addition to going to a place I hate, I will have to be a pack dummy too!

- Actually, Enzo, only "dummy" in your case.

- Oh, shush!

Already in the parking lot, Enzo had a stroke when he saw a small yellow vehicle parked right in the handicapped spot. And it didn't take long for him to complain about this too.

- These stupid Smart cars. Do you know what these things represent?

- I have money and terrible taste?

- No. Even worse, it means "I am affiliated to Greenpeace and I have a small dick, but I am ashamed to admit both".

- And if it is a woman?

- "I don't understand about cars and I don't know how to park".

Enzo looked away and finally he could smile for a minute.

- Now, that's a car! - He pointed to the gray sedan parked right next to it.

- Why are you still a Honda Civic fangirl anyway?

- Because it's an amazing car in every way.

- But you're always complaining about the drivers.

- That's right. The drivers. It's not the car's fault if the drivers are suckers! For example, nobody has anything against Arabs. The problem is that once in a while some of them wake up and decide to blow up a chapel and harm 200 people.

After hearing that sequence of opinions, Vini clearly passed the instructions to Enzo. He always came with the thought in his head: how hard can it be? But as it turned out, going to the supermarket with Enzo was a test of his patience.

- I hate supermarkets! - Enzo whined.

- Imagine how I feel. - Vini retorted. - Losing money every week and having to listen to a moaner for at least two hours.

- You can ignore it.

- Can you ignore blood in your urine?

- Shit, Vini!

- That's right. You can't. Anyway, I'll give you the electronic list via Whatsapp. Keep your phone on and don't buy anything other than what's on the list!

- Can I buy chocolate?

- What? Why?

- Women like chocolates.

Good point.

- Okay, I'll take it.

- Milk, bitter, white, or nuts?

- I don't know. Take your pick. Belgium has no problem eating like some people.

- Something tells me that comment was meant for me?

Oh, I didn't think I was the only one who noticed.

- Hey, you know what's funny? - Enzo asked. - White chocolate is not very loved by chocolate lovers. People prefer dark chocolate. So, white chocolate is the minority in the chocolate society! Should we call it systematic chocolatism?

Vini stared at him as if he first wanted to understand what the hell Enzo was trying to tell him. Since he couldn't think of anything, he ignored it and went on with his dilemma.

- Anyway, Enzo. If you come up with any more bullshit, you'll walk home.

- That's a very solid argument, Vini. Do you know what it means?

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

- Are you going to ignore everything I've said and stick to your limited point of view as you always do?

Enzo smiled.

- You do know me so well!

Fortunately for Vini, the two were separated. While one went to the fruit section, Enzo stayed in the cookies and snacks section. Which could be a bit of a problem.

- Every year they decrease the amount of snacks in the package. It feels like I am buying air in a bag!

Oh, Enzo was not buying anything. But it was a true remark. Still, he kept looking for more problems.

- Great! You don't have my cookie! Five hundred products on the shelves and nothing that I want! Does this market sell a rope so I can hang myself?

While Enzo was complaining about the products and the market itself, a strange feeling of emptiness began to take over his body. The strange feeling disappeared, but not before he bumped into a pretty girl with brown eyes and brown hair, knocking over all the products he was holding in his hands.

- Oh, sorry. - she said.

- No, no, it was all me. - Enzo took the blame. - How dumb.

Enzo picked up her groceries. The two smiled at each other until she slowly walked away. It could be fate, but something triggered a part of his brain related to affective memories. He had no doubts. He knew who that girl was. So he ran towards Vini, who was cautiously picking the best apples from the shelf.

- Vini, Vini! - Enzo looked desperate. - Look!

- All right. - Vini tried to visualize what he meant. - What should I be looking at?

- That girl! Short brown chanel hair, thin nose, brown eyes...

- My God, what is your problem? Every time we go somewhere it's always, "oh, pretty woman, I'll sniff her out".

- That's not what I'm saying, you assface! It's her!

- Her who, for fuck sake?

- Ana Carolina.

- The singer?

- Vini, I swear I'll throw you in the bloody freezer!

- Oh, thanks for the reminder! I have to buy the ice cream. But coming back... Who is Ana Carolina?

- The girl I was in love with at school. We used to take the bus back home together. It has been so many years. Don't you remember?

Actually, Enzo never formally introduced her to Vini.

- Is this her? - Vini ignored the fact that he had never seen that person before. - Are you sure?

- Positive. I would recognize that smile anywhere.

- That's fine. And what are you going to do?

- What do you mean "what am I going to do? Talk to her, of course! Then buy her a Civic, get married, we move to the last floor of Lake as I always wanted to. Last, but not the least, we make a lot of babies.

- You really never change, right? She seems so happy and full of energy, why ruin this one's life too?

- Very funny!

- I'm serious, Enzo! And what makes you think that she's not taken? Also, she could be a man, have a boyfriend, or even a lesbian.

- Wow, all this? My luck is really fucked up.

- You know what I mean.

- Honestly? I almost never understand what you mean. But I listen anyway, because I am a very good pal.

Still, it could be worse. And of course it did. Because Vini had the brilliant idea to ask Enzo to check the purchases, because he forgot to pass the section of freezers and take a box of ice-cream. When he returned two minutes later, he got an unwelcome surprise.

- 485, sir. - said the attendant as soon as she registered the last product.

Vini just missed having an aneurysm.

- 485? Holy shit! How come all the shopping was 485? I didn't bring almost anything.

Only then Vini realized that he didn't come to the supermarket alone. Enzo, he considered saying, but remained silent. When he checked the receipt, his doubts vanished like a cold, but unlike the flu, the final result did not make him happy.

- Enzo, why are these huge pieces of salmon in the cart?

- I picked them out.

- Four damn pieces? Enzo, you moron, that's almost three whole salmon! Are you going to call the Brother Bear, Phil Collins, the hunters and the whole Disney for lunch?

- I like salmon!

- But you don't like to pay for it!

- Look on the bright side, Vini.

- Tell me.

- You are going to be an Omega-3 rich kid.

- I'm expecting the bright side still, Enzo.

- Salmons are rich in many nutrients, Vini. Omega-3, vitamin B, vitamin D, potassium.

- How do you even know that?

- Google is my friend.

Maybe, it could be true, but the point is that Vini was so frustrated that he didn't care about anything else. And he dealt with it in a very mature way. Instead of going to the bathroom, as he had told Enzo, he simply walked out of the market, leaving him all alone with the bags of groceries.