I woke up to the sound of knocking on the door. There was the stomping of footsteps, the opening of the front door, and then some chatter.

“Aiko! What is this about some girl staying the night?” My mother yelled.

I had worked late and it looked like I had fallen asleep from exhaustion. I had forgotten to inform my mother about the sleepover after she had arrived home. It was probably Ivy knocking on the door to fetch her child before school. As I yawned, the door to my room slammed open and my mom shot a look in. I could see Ivy behind her, looking into the room nervously.

“It’s nothing big. I’m just babysitting.” I explained away the problem with a wave.

“Babysitting…” Mom blinked for a moment, but then her eyes narrowed. “And where is the child?”

“Hmm? She’s not on the couch?” It was my turn to be stunned.

However, no sooner did I try to sit up than I felt pressure on my chest. There was a light girlish moan, and I lifted my blanket to see a patch of hair.

“Maya?” Ivy stepped forward but was blocked from entering by Mom.

I pulled the blanket down more, revealing Maya’s head from under the blanket. I remember we were working last night. I had gotten tired and told her to go to the couch and then I collapsed on the bed. Why did she end up sleeping in my bed? This wasn’t the behavior I even expected from the children back in my world. They usually kept a healthy distance away from me. They thought I was scarier than the flesh golems, so they kept their distance. Why was Aiko’s body so damn disarming? It was irritating.

“Mom?” She mumbled lifting out her arm and rubbing her eyes.

As the blanket fell back even more, it revealed that Maya wasn’t wearing a shirt. Actually, she was completely naked!”

“Aiko!” Mom yelled. “Why are you sleeping with a naked little girl?”

It was early in the morning, but I already felt a headache coming on. I had no clue why the girl was naked. However, I had suffered a bit of trauma when it came to this kind of thing. After all, the last time I was called a loli-con, I was cut in two by the real Aiko. I suddenly had a vision of Aiko’s mother striking me down for being a child lover.

“Ah!” Maya cried as I grabbed her and yanked her to the side, making sure she remained in the blanket as I stepped off the bed and jumped away.

“I didn’t do anything, I swear!” I immediately fell to the floor in full prostration.

What? Surrender could also be considered a strategy! When I was in a situation where I knew I couldn’t win, my best course of action was to beg for forgiveness. The more pathetic and useless I could appear, the more likely I was to be left alone. Even demons could get embarrassed if you acted pathetic enough.

As for my crime, I didn’t need to commit one. This was something I had no control over. It didn’t even make sense to me. I couldn’t understand why this world had a creepy obsession with little girls. Even my workplace didn’t allow such content on the shelves. Normally, such a thing shouldn’t even be a suspicion. I was being wrongly accused.

“Aiko…” Mom’s anger seemed to turn to shock as she watched me bow in complete submission.

“I-it’s Maya’s fault.” Ivy unexpectantly came to my rescue an awkward look on her face. “I forgot to mention that she sometimes takes off all of her clothing at night. She also can get frightened and will wander into my bed.”

She looked helplessly at Maya, who had poked her head out from her blankets while rubbing her eyes and yawning. She looked up at her mom clueless, although she was giving off such a sight that would be outlawed by any decent media.

“Oh, I see…” Mom relaxed. “Aiko, get off the floor!”

“Yes, ma’am!” I straightened, although I remained on my knees.

“You should have told me you were babysitting last night.” Mom glared down at me, still not willing to let it go.

“Ah… it was last minute. I’m really sorry. I begged him.” Ivy bit her lip, looking awkward.

Mom looked at the other girl, and her expression softened. “Ahh, I understand. It must be hard for you with a daughter. That you put trust in my son to watch your daughter…”

Ivy’s face turned red. “S-sorry for acting that way. Maya, are you okay?”

Maya had finally seemingly woken up. She looked down at me, although I distinctly avoided looking in her direction, and then she looked up at her mom.

“Mm! It was lots of fun! Aiko stayed up and we played house and made tea, it was lots of fun.”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“R-really…” Ivy glanced over at me. “You played house and had tea with Maya?”

She seemed to be looking at me differently than normal. I didn’t like it. I hadn’t played house or made tea. We mixed up potions and extracted magical components! Of course, one of those components had been tea, and I had even drunk some with her since the tea part was harmless, but making mixing and measuring was hardly playing house.

“I did what I had to do,” I responded, clearing my throat.

Mom let out a sigh. “Aiko, even though it was for someone else, you still messed up.”

“Yes, Mom! It was my mistake.” I took full responsibility. “I’ll take whatever punishment you offer.”

“P-punishment?” Ivy’s eyes widened. “If you’re going to punish someone, it should be me!”

“You’re not my daughter…” Mom responded.

“Ah… that…” Ivy blushed.

“Yet…”

“Mom! He should be punished accordingly!”

That came from Kio, who had gotten up due to the morning commotion. Hina was also nearby in the hallway, watching the scene unfold.

“He will be punished.” Mom nodded. “I’ll be punishing both of you. That’s why Aiko is grounded this weekend. You won’t be able to go on any dates with Ivy.”

“D-dates?” Ivy’s eyes widened.

“Agreed.” I immediately accepted the terms.

Was that even being punished at all? I could spend the entire weekend without being bothered by anyone. It almost felt like I was being rewarded.

“Ah… b-but… maybe next weekend.” Ivy was pushing her fingers together.

What next weekend? Did she forget that we weren’t dating? Not being allowed to see her outside the school didn’t affect me whatsoever.

“Okay!” Mom slapped her hand, causing everyone to jump. “It’s still a school day. Since you’re all here, get ready and I’ll take you to school.”

“Th-that won’t be necessary!” Ivy declared. “I have to get my daughter to her grandparents and I’ll probably be late…”

“Nonsense. I’ll drive you all.”

When Mom set her mind to something, no one else was able to argue with her. Ivy had no choice but to gather her daughter’s bag and get her dressed for school. While she did that, I left the room and started making breakfast. I had been learning how to make a proper breakfast, and it seemed like a good time to soothe Mom’s anger by doing some proactive.

“You’re cooking?” Ivy seemed surprised when she came from the hallway to my room and entered near the kitchen. “Oh…”

I turned from the oven to see Ivy. She was staring at me with big eyes. Maya had clothing on now, and she broke out in a big smile.

“Is that a problem?” I asked.

Ivy looked me up and down, and then shook her head. “N-no… I just didn’t expect it.”

If anyone expected it, then there wouldn’t be a point in doing it. This was a skill that took the majority of my long life to perfect. It had to do with repetition and appreciation. If you did something for someone, they would be appreciative. However, every time you repeated the act, their appreciation would go down. Eventually, their appreciation would turn to expectancy. At that point, if you chose to stop doing it, rather than appreciation, you’d face indignance. They would become angry at you for not doing what was never your problem in the first place.

That’s why I cultivated a life of low expectations. As long as you kept your baseline of expectation low, then every time you stepped over it and did something unexpected, you could leave everyone with positive feelings. For example, if I had just healed every demon who was hurt, they would have started using me as some kind of healing machine. If there was ever a time I didn’t heal them, they would have been enraged and blamed me. Thus, I had convinced the demons that using flesh magic took a lot of energy out of me, even fainting after I was done. I would often make repairs slowly, demanding recompense after every session. I could heal most injuries within a single session, but I could stretch them out to a week and even get multiple payments. Having looked into the healthcare system of this world, I found that they acted very similarly.

It was an effective strategy that had been necessary for my long life, but how did that apply to cooking food? It was rather simple.

“Ah… Aiko, you’re burning it!” Mom ran into the kitchen as she smelled the eggs.

“Oops!” I pulled the eggs out, and she relaxed once she saw that it wasn’t too bad.

They weren’t burned, but they weren’t perfect either. They had brown splotches and were a bit hard on one side. I made sure to take the bacon off the pan a bit too soon so they were still greasy and had no crispiness to them. I also overdid the toast just slightly. It was a perfectly mediocre breakfast. I put the first serving in front of Maya. It was naturally the worst of the bunch I would cook. It only made sense to improve upon repetition. They might get suspicious otherwise. Furthermore, Maya deserved the burned stuff after sneaking into my bed and causing so many problems.

“Brother… that…” Hina had finished getting dressed and had come into the kitchen next.

Mom was helping me by brewing a coffee for herself and getting a cup of juice for Maya. Maya ate down my eggs and bacon properly, seemingly unaware that I had made them intentionally poor. At least she was someone who could appreciate what was properly given to her. I finished Ivy’s plate and put it in front of her as I looked up at Hina.

“What is it?” I asked in a flat tone.

“It’s just… I’ve never seen Brother… like that… before.” Her lips flickered up, but she otherwise sat down at the table.

“I think he looks adorable.” Mom smiled as she poured a cup of coffee for herself. “At least, it’s getting some use.”

I frowned at the three women who all seemed to be grinning in my direction. I looked down at the apron I had put on. I didn’t want to get food on my clothing before heading to school. It was only natural that I wear an apron. I couldn’t help that the only apron this kitchen had was a pink apron with flowery embroidery.

“How can you let her eat breakfast here like she’s part of the family?” A voice cut into their smiles.

Kio was standing at the kitchen door, glaring at Ivy, who was eating alongside her daughter.

“Kio, this has already been resolved.” Mom sighed. “Come, sit down, and have breakfast. It’s so rare we all get to eat together. I’ll take you to school today too.”

“There is not enough room in the car.” Kio snapped. “And it’s not okay. If I brought my boyfriend over, you’d go ballistic.”

“Do you even have a boyfriend?” Hina suddenly cut in.

“Shut up!” Kio snapped at her.

“Kio! We have a guest over.” Mom’s tone was more serious. “Mind your manners.”

“I won’t!” Kio snapped, her expression furious. “I won’t keep acting like everything is okay when it’s not. It’s time you accept the truth.”

“What truth?” Mom spoke helplessly, shaking her head.

Kio threw her hand out, pointing right at me as I put bacon down on Hina’s plate. “That’s not Aiko. He’s an imposter!”

So, I couldn’t keep up the act in the end. I was found out. It must be time for plan B.