Clinking of cut glasses, thuds of big mugs and belches of various decibels were like a delirious hum for an uninitiated sucker, but for me this cacophony was like music...

— Music… that was about to be ruined by one little shit... — beer got stuck in my throat, when the front door almost flew off its hinges.

— FINALLY!!! — a panting and disheveled Mythril burst into the hall like a whirlwind.

Bewildered regulars, drunken guards, and even the head of the tavern, wiping vomited glasses with a tattered sock.... all turned their heads like hinges, staring in amazement at the pretty girl who had honored them with her visit.

— I went to fu… hundred bars to find you!!! — curving her face in a fit of rage, angel rushed to the bar, where sat a half-dead hunk in tattered pajamas colored by traces of vomiting.

— Find me? I didn't run anywhere...

Well, it's hard to get lost in a crowd when you're dressed in a nightgown, underpants and slippers with ruffles. I got those last ones from my grandmother. Always loved them.

— We need to complete our first assignment, deadline is close, and you… you... — Mythril was somewhere between wanting to charge at my face and burst into tears.

The visitors, meanwhile, were slowly getting into the topic.

Peasant's in the back even raised their «swords» at the sight of a blonde in cocktail dress on a naked body, but, fortunately, the look of «protagonist» interfered with the pheromones of love.

— Cut your crap! Let's me have one more drink, and we'll make it up! Word of imperial navy! — I turned my back to the counter and caught a new mug.

Actually, the tavern turned out to be quite nice, just as I had imagined a typical medieval cantina: pre-modern mechanical tape with various snacks, gum-stained tables and chairs, and even this.... what's-his-name... telepision? A weird box with a holo-screen inside that showed even weirder games with a black-white ball.

— Fuck... what kind of game is this? Kicking some bollshit around a field! This is the most boring thing I've ever seen in my life! — I took a couple sips and spotted a shadow cover the horizon.

— Good sir, how dare you talk to an arbiter with such manner?! Mythril may be of low rank, but she does her best for all of us! — drunken as shit guard crawled up to the counter and began furiously poking his finger at me, trying not to spill his beer.

— Yeah! This is an abuse! We love our patroness, and we're not going to let some punk make fun of her! — shouted the young barkeeper behind the counter.

— Guys... — Mythril flushed feignedly.

— Repeat it when the fat damsel with ugly mug flies in here... — smirking venomously, I tried to take a sip, but...

— What did you say?! You called our Mythril a FAT?! — two-meter tall gorilla was getting jaundice on his face.

Disregarding the norms and decency, greenish-colored primate in plate power armor tried to grab me by the scruff of the neck, but drunkenly missed and kicked the mug with his fist.

Of course, beer spilled out to his fat mother, and who gives a shit, I can take a new one, but...

— Ugh... my slippers... — seeing half of the mug organizing a puddle between the chairs, I clenched my fists until bones crunch.

— I said, what did you say, you alky?!

— Are you going to pay for the cleaning with credits, or you peasants only have cash? — I stood up to full height, looking straight in the gorilla’s eyes.

— What the fuck are you talking about, you drunk?! What cleaning?! You fuckin' nuts?!

Instead of answering, I tilted my head to the side.

— Suit yourself! I TRIED TO BE NICE!!!

I don't know if he was trying to make a fist or kneel down to me as a sign of respect, but the imperial training worked itself out.

Time stopped, and I jerked aside, a large paw whizzing past my face, but the guardian didn't let up and swung a second time. The clang of mecha-armor mingled with the screams of the onlookers. In the blink of an eye, I grabbed the enemy's wrist, twisted his hand, and redirected the inertia. The hundred-pound bulk slammed into the bar with a wild thud, breaking through the wooden barrier along with the bottles.

— Should I to repeat my question? — staggering from side to side, I took a fighting stance and burped vigorously, trying not to vomit.

— BASTARD... I. FUCKING. KILL YOU!!! — gritting his teeth in animal hatred, the guardian flung the wooden splinters away and strode toward me, activating some sort of combat mode that made the joints of his armor glow like Vaitomo fireflies.

The bets were up, but lovely Mythril kept on sidelines, unlike the other skinny guard who was already sneaking through the crowd.

— Don't get clingy, first you wash my slippers!

The hero's comment caused mute excitement in the hall, and the gorilla's fuse seemed to have finally burnt out.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

Animal rushed forward as fast as it could, without coordinating the attack with an ally.

Spinning on my axis, I threw a fist under the big guy's breath and ducked just as he lost control. The skinny fucker behind me hadn't expected the switch and tried to dodge, but it was too late.

The guards swooped at each other and smashed down on the table with a clatter, shredding someone's expensive stuffed chicken to pieces.

— Commander Fenkhaurer always said that if you raised your hand at someone, you should be prepared for it to go back into your ass! — so while the two jerks were making nice on the table, I took a moment and kicked the big guy in the butt.

— А-А-А-АH!!! — screams of the sweet couple caressed my ears.

— And now I'll leave you my number... wait... what kind of communication is there? Pigeon mail? Whatever. Quicker to wash it myself… — I started squeezing the beer out of my slippers.

— Single-handedly defeating a magic armor user who can bend steel piles with bare hands.... this specimen will be useful... — whispered Mythril silently, watching me almost fall over while putting slipper back on,

— Ahem! In the name of our goddess Bhagas, I declare this incident an unfortunate oversight!

At this point, everyone seemed to come out of stasis and turned to the angel.

— Collateral damage to victims and establishment will be reimbursed from the city treasury, now go on with whatever you are having! And we're… leaving! — Taking advantage of the fact that I was barely on my feet, Mythril grabbed me by arm and dragged toward the exit.

— Oh, come on! Get off me! I haven't finished my drink!

But resistance was useless... as I had already noticed, in the slim body of the angel seemed to sit adamantine skeleton...

— What do you want?! We agreed that the hack was tomorrow, but today I'm free! — being on the street asphalt, I released from the grip, feeling myself sobering up from the cool night air.

— Agreed, but I thought you'd be in bed, and you've escaped from the castle and wandered around the city in... what kind of clothes are those?!

— It's normal clothes... everyone in unit wore them... — I frowned, because I loved my pajamas, even though they stink of renal reabsorption.

— And how is this gar... ahem! — Mythril barely suppressed a fit of rage, — I know it must be hard to keep it all in your head, but you have me! That's why you DON'T go barhopping in the middle of the night! And now, get to the castle!

— Okay, okay, mom… Slippers are still wet anyway... — I spread my arms out at the seams,

— Well? Why are you flapping your eyes? Bring me back! I'm ready!

— ... — Mythril's teeth gritted, — As you wish, oh great hero!

Stiffly, but lovingly hugging the hero around the waist, angel pressed into his back with her big boobs and flashed an energetic halo.

And when the knight of heaven spread six huge wings, soaring straight to the heavens, digging in garbage can bum even dropped a polymer bottle, because one of the feathers fell directly into his non-washed palms...

A feather that somehow moved like a living thing....

* * *

The morning, as always, was a challenge.

Not finding something to hangover in the middle of a labyrinth of corridors and endless rooms with jolts, I completely forgot about time spent in the floating castle, so the first clear episode was the descent to the armory.

— Now repeat what I said yesterday! — Mythril was drizzling something in the background, but I had such a headache that her speech sounded similar to a buzzing bee in the yard.

— We don't have any «panties», but if you want, you can show me how they're sewn, maybe I'd wear them too... — I yawned so hard that my jaw almost popped out of tendons.

— NOT THAT!!! — Mythril overtook me and grinned.

— Agh... You're power is unparalleled, but it needs practice, so you'll get your gear and go to General Transparius for perimeter defense...

Meanwhile, the corridors were replaced by floating bridges made of mechanized blades with a lot of arches at the corners.

In each niche of such «ridge» lay a room of five hundred square meters, where sometimes appeared warehouses with lockers, sometimes local server rooms with crystals instead of processing cores, and sometimes just storerooms with archival writing and various things.

After passing a couple of angelic guards in power armor, we reached a den with prehistoric sharpening printers, flavored with manipulators based on levitating crystals and other magical sorcery.

— Correct! First you need a proper equipment! — Mythril went straight to the mountain of stuff, like the lats of yesterday's guardian.

— I remember that the Commander had a thing for that too... — without finding a blacksmith or any other cormorant, I spotted a travel flask on the table,

— He's got my head fucked up about those bloody armor, bald-headed bastard! Keeping it clean, you see! Who gives a fuck about semen stains? As long as it protects you from bullets! — I took a bottle and had a little sip. There was wine inside. It made me feel better.

And while Mythril was going through the rags, I had a question... the question: where should I carry my booze?

Pajamas didn't have any pockets. Good, there was a set of clothes on the rack next to me, consisting of patent boots, black pants, and a long amaranth coat.

— Here! That's a «Moon Armor»! An ancient architech, customized to seek out and destroy otherw... — angel found the right piece of exo and... — What the hell are you doing?! That's the armorer's stuff!!!

While Angel was dumbfounded, the great hero had already tried on the clothes from the rack.

— Huh? That's a nice coat. I'm wear it... — I tugged on the sleeves a couple times, and after making sure it wasn't tight, shoved the flask into the inside pocket.

— What the fu... You can't just take someone else's stuff, that's not how it works!!!

— Yeah… it fits like a glove. What's our next move? — I stopped admiring myself in the reflection of armor standing against the wall and turned to exit.

— Blessed Bhagas... give me strength to endure this trial... — angel's teeth gnashing seemed akin to the chainsword engine, but she did endure it and, tossing the heavy chain mail to the side, followed me, — Our next step – weapons storage! — Mythril gave herself a warm smile and our way through the dungeon continued...

— What... WHAT?! WHO TOOK MY COAT?! HEY?! GUA-A-A-ARD!!! — and only a distant scream brightened this cycle with its emotions, albeit briefly, but it lifted my rotten mood, which was worsening with every minute spent in this world...

* * *

In the silent night sky, on the scorched battlefield, where blades rusted from old age stood crosswise over a thousand corpses, a light appeared, but only for a second, for the flash created a shadow... a sphere of ether that descended down to the blood-soaked ground...

— What a mess... and dirt... and stink... — the shapeless ghost rumbled defiantly...

Orange sensor opened in the center of the spherical shadow, the wraith soared towards the mounds ahead, inspecting the corpses of warriors around it until it saw a man in the distance.

Stranger hunched over the dead body, trying to find something in its pockets.

— Greetings, honorable marauder! Can you tell me which way is the city of Ishinhar? — said the spirit good-naturedly.

— ... — man turned around, and... — А-А-А-А-АH!!!! DEATH EATER!!! — ...and dashed off to the side… expediently fall down into the pale of shit, and run towards the woods on all fours.

— Uh... did I say something wrong? — ghost followed the retreating figure with a glance, — Maybe I should introduce myself first? Right, next time I'll start with a name! — nodding confidently to himself, the black ball flew onward, straight to the city lights on the horizon...

* * *

image [https://tl.rulate.ru/i/translation/23/2/30241.jpg]