I woke up, only to see… a hospital room? I was in a bed and-

People. I could hear people. Sounds. Birds. I sat up, only for my whole body to shake in pain. My eyes widened as I felt my body was no longer female. It transcended even the shock of being in a hospital bed. I was thankful for only a moment though, before I began looking for my sword. I glanced to my right, only to see a machine hooked up to my arm and an IV drip. I was-

Fuck! Right, the nurse. She’d given me a shot in the neck and then-

I heard the door opened and was already trying to get out of bed. My sword, my armor, they were nowhere to be found. I needed, I needed to be ready. Fuck fuck fu-

A nurse walked in, a woman I’d never seen but looked familiar, but she had a face. Her eyes seemed to widen in shock as she saw me awake and quickly hit a button on the wall I hadn’t seen.

“Mr. Thompson? Matt Thompson. Please relax. You’re okay, you’re alright. Do you know where you are?”

“What?!”

I was, I didn’t, what on earth was going on? I… the light. The lights. The window. I, I… there was a sun. I could see the sun. There was an actual person. A TV playing some news channel. My mind felt overloaded and my chest hurt for some reason. Everything was, no, what? I had been, I had been fighting and trying to survive and-

The EKG machine attached to me began to spike as my heart beat rapidly shot up. No… no this was impossible. T-There’s, this, no… it had to be a trick. A trick or, or-

“Mr. Thompson, please, you’re at Saint Mary’s Hospital. You suffered from a stroke and hit your head when you fell. You’re alright. You’re okay. Please calm down.”

“N- no! This, this is some kind of trick or something! A dream, this can’t, this isn’t real. Status!”

I called out… and nothing showed up. My eyes shook.

“Mr. Thompson, you’re okay. You’re going to be fine. I’ll answer any questions you have and be right here for you. This isn’t a dream and I am here to help.”

“I…”

My brain rebelled. No… that couldn’t, that couldn’t have all been fake. No, no way. Had I… had I died and ‘lost’ the Game Show? They had said I could die but… but what if this is what happened if I did? No, no the Hostess at least wasn’t that kind. No, this was some, some kind of trick.

I stared at the nurse, realizing why she looked familiar. She looked just like the one that had stabbed me, except with gorgeous red hair and an actual face. My mind felt like it was tearing itself apart. Too much had happened too fast and now, now it felt like I didn’t have any ‘Mind’ stat all. Had I ever? No, no I can’t, I can’t start believing this is real. I’ll die, I’ll really die.

But looking at the nurse, my heart still beat. I hadn’t seen a real, living, breathing person in so long. It felt like an eternity. The window, the sun, the warmth flowing down onto me, the birds chirping, the TV playing, it was too much. I… I wanted it to be real so badly. Tears began to stream down my eyes as I stared at this fake person.

“You… aren’t real. None of this is real.” I said, hollow.

The nurse frowned for a moment, but it wasn’t a frown of anger. It was an absolute look of pity.

“Mr. Thompson… I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Kelly.” She patted her name tag. “This is real. This isn’t a trick or a dream. Can I get anything for you or answer any of your questions?”

I… I can’t… I can’t… I…

“M-My… S-Spot. Is Spot…”

At this, Kelly smiled wide.

“Your friends and puppy have been very worried Mr. Thompson. They haven’t left the hospital since you arrived. Would you like me to send someone to get them for you? Do you feel up to seeing them right now?”

My heart… it clenched tight. Shut. I stared out the window, at the sun. My ears pulled in the sounds of countless people just going about their life. There was wind, a blue sky, and no gods or goddesses, no system, no horrible mind probe, no monsters…

“...yes…” I said, half choking out the word.

It only took less than a minute but I couldn’t hold back anymore when I saw them. It was Rick and Jessica, looking worried but elated, Spot in Rick’s arms. He was trying so hard to jump out of Rick’s arms, struggling to get to me.

Shaking, I held out my hands. The moment Rick wordlessly handed Spot to me, the waterworks broke through and I bawled as Spot excitedly licked me.

*****

It took a while for me to calm down and come back to… reality. Jessica had pulled up a chair, her hand in mine. Spot had refused to leave my chest and I’d refused to have him leave. Even Rick was sitting on my other side, hand on my shoulder, like he was worried I was gonna disappear.

No one said anything for a while, the moment thick with emotion. But eventually, Rick broke the silence.

“I’m so happy you’re alive dude.” Jessica shot him a glare but I just smiled. A smile that hurt.

“Y-yeah. I… yeah.”

“Are you okay?” Jessica asked.

“...Not really. I…” What was I supposed to say? That seeing them made me happier than anything in the world? That having spot in my arms and on my chest made me want to cry every other moment? Or that… I still couldn’t believe any of this was real.

Literally.

Even now… even having my body changed back to male, my passive skill reverted back, seeing and hearing my friends… my experiences had been too much. Too real. I had killed over a thousand zombies. I’d fought fast zombies. I’d felt my blood and flesh and bones nearly be torn out of me. I’d felt the cold of dying in a sewer. I’d felt fear so alien, so visceral, that I thought it couldn’t be normal. I’d felt magic and Qi go through my body, like spiritual veins, and began to form a deep connection with the universe.

I’d experienced too much, too quickly, too painfully, too brutally. No matter how real the dream, no matter how beautiful this reality… I couldn’t believe in it even for a moment. Somewhere out there, in the insane but real world, was actually Rick and Jessica and Spot. Not happy, not worried, dying. I didn’t consider myself very special… but if there was any trait I had an edge in, it was seeing through bullshit.

And that alarm was going off at maximum strength.

“Hey man, it’s all good. We’ll get you out of here as soon as possible and forget about it. We should get ya home in a few days, okay? Just… don’t worry.” Rick said, wearing a false confidence.

He was so real, every ounce the man I knew. Down to the way he’d appear utterly confident, while trying to hide how he really felt. He was scared, this version of Rick was scared horribly. I could see it, feel it, knew it. He was so… so real.

“We’ll be here with you of course.” Jessica was quick to add. “And don’t worry, we’ve already brought plenty of treats and food for Spot. We brought all the stuff we’d need to clean up after him too.”

She shot me a heart clenching smile. There was no hidden fear on her face, instead there was so much relief I felt myself feeling overwhelmed. I knew that there had been a… maybe between us. I’d hoped it was going well. But looking at her now, her face, her emotions, the ways tears seemed to still dot her eyes and the feeling of her hand in mine… I knew that she felt exactly as I felt. That she truly loved me and didn’t want to lose me.

And she wasn’t real.

I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Spot.

We talked and chatted, about nothing at all. Every once in a while, they’d slip in a strange question, asking me about the day or something, checking if my brain was alright most likely. The nurse had probably asked them too. It was empty small talk, from talking about the new video games that came out, to new shows, but it was such an immense relief.

It was… I hadn’t felt warm and safe in so, so long. Hadn’t had anyone to talk to. Hadn’t had anything even approaching normal. I tried, so hard, to push it all away, to remain steadfast that this was fake, but it was like I was being washed away. Everything felt real. Everything seemed normal. Trying to hold onto the absolute insanity I experienced was harder.

Gods and Goddesses running a gameshow? Watching TV and playing on the internet? A world full of movie horror level monsters and something straight out of HP lovecraft? All ridiculous. There was literally a black skeleton that filled up the space between it’s bones with more bones, taken from zombies.

And that was before the System, magic, and Qi stuff came into play. Hell, there were achievements that gave me stats, titles, and even challenges. Even for a game show… it was more like my life had become some kind of weird, strange mix of an anime, a video game, and a book.

Just sitting there, talking, I could practically feel myself slipping. There was nothing supernatural about it. One thing made sense, the other didn’t, and it felt more and more insane to try and believe the one that didn’t.

Eventually, Rick and Jessica left, many hours later. They asked about taking Spot, but… I refused to have him leave. Just the idea of having him wake up and me not to be there… it broke my heart, real or fake.

Soon… sleep took me. All day, I’d been waiting. Waiting for a Care Package to come along. A new day had passed and I’d gotten used to them. And now… now it hadn’t.

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Doubt began to creep into my mind as I fell asleep.

*****

Blearly, I opened my eyes, reaching for my sword-

I blinked. Right. Right. No sword. I was in a hospital bed still. I laid there in silence, staring at the ceiling. This… was fake right? My memories were so… vivid. They couldn’t be fake. But… but the nurse…

I thought back to her, to the faceless nurse that had stabbed me in the neck. She… practically teleported next to me. Or was as silent and stealthy as any monster I’d seen so far. She had injected something into me and then I’d almost immediately passed out.

But that didn’t make sense, that close up, she could have easily killed me. So why didn’t she? Was I currently in some kind of hospital bed, while she ate my brains? It had been a full day in this place… surely she could have eaten me by now right? Unless, dreams can last for a while… but this wasn’t just any dream. She’d put me into this place. So maybe she was… eating me slowly while I was in ‘paradise’?

…was that better or worse?

How long did I have before I died? Here, in this time frame, at least? Days? Weeks? Months? I had no idea. What if she wanted to keep me for long term food? What if she was eating something other than my body, like a vampire? …how would she even eat me, she has no face…

The things I didn’t know felt overwhelming and the main one even more so.

I had no idea how to get out. I’d tried Status, Milestone, Store, and nothing. I’d tried to feel my passive skill that had altered my body, to no effect. I’d tried to feel that vague connection with the universe or the feeling of Qi. Nothing. Useless. No matter what I tried to think or feel, it didn’t change anything.

I heard a knock on my door and flinched more than anything. Not long after, Jessica walked in. Just Jessica.

“Hey.” She said.

“Hey.” I blinked.

She sat down near me and took her hand in mine again, making me feel butterflies in my stomach. Jessica… I looked at her and couldn’t help a smile. It felt so good to be near her, to see her, to feel her. She looked at me and I felt myself getting lost in her blue sapphire like eyes. She smiled back at me and my body felt warm all over again.

Jessica took a deep breath, before exhaling.

“Matt… there’s something I have to tell you.”

I blinked, surprised.

“What is it?”

“I… I love you.” Jessica said, looking so vulnerable in that moment. The part of my mind that was screaming this was fake, this wasn’t real, broke at that moment. It couldn’t look at Jessica, look at this Jessica right in the face, see her looking so afraid I’d say I didn’t feel the same, and call her fake. That wasn’t possible for me. I wasn’t a strong enough man for that.

“I love you Jessica.” The words, always on the tip of my tongue, the words I’ve always wanted to say, slipped out. I couldn’t regret them, the emotion never gave me any time for it to form, as I saw Jessica’s face light up like the happiest woman in the world.

She leaned down and-

Her kiss was everything right with the world. It was everything I had wanted and more. It wasn’t perfect or grand, it wasn’t some supernatural perfection. It was just lips pressed against lips, but it felt like what had been broken had been mended. Like all the stress I’d been carrying, all the fears and worry, all of it just went away.

Was this… could this really be… a dream?

I didn’t know any more.

“Matt? Why are you crying?” Jessica asked, bewildered.

“I’m just… so happy.” And it was true.

I was happy. If this was a dream… I didn’t want to wake up anymore.

*****

Days passed. Normal days. I hadn’t realized how broken I’d become until I walked out of the hospital, wearing normal clothes, and felt the sun directly beaming down onto me. I never had once considered myself super ‘mentally strong’. But I’d cried more than in the past few days than I think I had in the last year.

I talked to Rick a lot. A lot. He wanted to catch me up on everything. Apparently I hadn’t just ‘had a stroke’ and been out for a day. It had been nearly a week. The only reason I’d been found, since I lived alone, was because Spot hadn’t stopped barking. For hours. Eventually one of my neighbors had come to check up on it and well… I was lucky I hadn’t locked the door. Without nosy neighbors and Spot… I’d probably be dead.

If this was real. I kept reminding myself. I had seen shows and movies and even games, but they never focused on just how hard it was to try and keep your sanity while saying the insane stuff was real and the sane stuff wasn’t. It felt like I was in a sinking boat and rapidly trying to pile out the water from it.

There’s a saying I once heard someone say. “You have to accept the reality you’re in. Well, more like you don’t have a choice.” And I had never understood it better. I’d adapted to the apocalypse and the Gods… and soon, I’d rapidly adapt to this. And that was when it’d be all over. I’d never escape.

“Matt?” Rick said. “You spacing out on me buddy? I can’t wait to play Bears of the Kingdom with you. It released while you were, uh, asleep. It’s really good! You can build all sorts of stuff and…”

Doubt lingered in me, growing. It felt strange. I’d have expected the world to feel more fake over time for some reason, but instead it was growing more real. There was information I couldn’t know, but I guess that was my mind filling in the blanks. But there was also information I doubted I understood even a little bit. Ever since getting back my phone, god I’d missed that, I’d been trying to break the illusion somehow. I’d immediately gone to financial stuff, political stuff, and advanced engineering. If this was all based on my mind, that stuff should not only make no sense, but be scribbled nonsense.

It wasn’t. I barely or didn’t understand it, but it wasn’t just a compilation of buzz words and half remembered terms, like I’d expected to find.

I’d tried a few other things, but I was starting to lose hope. Ultimately… I had no idea how to break out of this dream. And I was constantly starting to doubt it was a dream. Even if it was fake… that didn’t mean it couldn’t be something else. I didn’t know what those creepy monster nurses could do. I’d thought they’d knocked me out into a coma but who knows what they actually did to me.

I was currently heading home, Spot in my arms. Jessica had work but I was still resting. I had to catch up with college soon and just… wow. That was a strange thought to have. College was ending soon. I was graduating with a four year degree in graphic design. I’d always loved making art. Even if this world was fake… I couldn’t wait to spend at least five minutes making something on my computer.

I smiled. Beating Rick as Rario Kart would be pretty fun too.

****

“Damn you.” I cursed, getting lapped by Rick.

“Hey, hate the player, not the game.”

I turned and squinted at Rick, who was giving me a wide smile.

“Can do.” I said. What type of fucked up dream world made it so I lose to Rick in Rario Kart? An evil one, that’s for sure.

Rick put down his controller.

“Alright, so talk to me. What’s going on?” Rick said and I blinked.

“Huh?”

“Don’t you huh me man, you know what I’m talking about. Even ignoring the nurse warning us that you might ‘struggle to tell real from fake for a little while’, you’ve not been okay. I thought you were all about that ‘Don’t bottle stuff up’ shit? So, talk to me. What’s going on?”

I stared into Rick’s eyes, caught out for a second. Was… no, this… Rick was my friend. But was this Rick? Could I trust a fake Rick? I tried to think through it logically but my emotions were running rampant. I hadn’t been able to talk about my experiences to anyone. Almost dying, the horror and fear I’d felt, the things I’d seen…

The words practically leaped from my tongue.

“This world isn’t real.” I said, immediately feeling like I’d made a mistake. Any moment now, Rick was going to turn into a monster and eat me or something. Or call me crazy and have me put into a psych ward. Instead, he started with a simple:

“What?” Rick said, looking bewildered. But the dam had well and truly broken and no amount of resistance could stop it.

“It’s all fake! This, this isn’t real. I know it isn’t real! I, I was fighting, exploring a damn hospital and then a horrifying creature stabbed me in the neck and-”

“Whoa, whoa! Matt, calm down. What’s going on? Go slower, a creature? You were stabbed in the neck? What’s going on?”

I talked. I told him everything from beginning to end. How I’d been abducted by the gods, how he’d been abducted by the gods, along with Jessica and Spot. About how we were all in some kind of divine game show. How I’d been to a world of monsters, how I’d nearly died, how I’d felt and saw my blade cut through over a thousand zombies, a thousand people, how I’d seen him with a bandage on his arm and Jessica in a hospital, how I’d become a woman, how the sky had rained chocolate, how I’d been given a really amazing Katana, how I’d had my mind probed and all my thoughts watched and couldn’t even curse the gods if I wanted to without them screwing me over because of it.

I unleashed it all on top of Rick like a hysterical rush, his eyes going wider and wider the whole way through. I didn’t skip anything, and I knew how insane it sounded. How would I react if Rick came to me and said everything I was saying? I’d probably make sure he got to a therapist immediately.

After everything was said and done, after I had finally finished talking, Rick simply closed his eyes and was silent for at least five minutes. Five, painful, anxiety induced minutes where I didn’t know what was going to happen or what he was going to say. I even began to think I should get a weapon, in case he attacks me, or in case Jessica or the whole town was coming over to kill me or-

“Okay.”

I blinked, my heart rate still sky high, my voice shaky.

“O-Okay?”

“Okay. I believe you.”

My mouth dropped open and my mind short-circuited.

What?

“What? You… believe me?”

Rick stared into my eyes, hard, and nodded. I felt like he was pulling my leg, or pulling a trick, but I’d long gotten used to Rick’s stubborn attitudes. Those were not the eyes of him joking around and the Rick I knew was really shit at deception or lying. It could still be a fake, some way to get me into a mental hospital later, but looking at the determined face of my friend… I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it.

“But… why?” I asked.

Rick smirked. “There ain’t no way, in no universe, where you make up becoming a woman. We both know I’m never going to let you live that down.”

“You bastard.” I said, but a smile began to grow on my face as my heart clenched. I… I never thought he’d believe me. Hell, I hadn’t even thought through telling him. That was only more clear with his next words.

“So… I’m not real then huh? I really feel real. I gotta tell you Matt, being fake, that’s kinda a bummer.”

“I…” What on earth was I supposed to say? Sorry? Was he even real or fake? Where was the line and difference? He seemed… exactly like Rick. My doubt began to grow about this world I was in. Maybe, maybe I was the insane one and this world really was-

“Hey, oi. Don’t you dare, I can see that look in your eyes. This world is fake and I’m fake. Oh well. Don’t you go falling for the dreams now Matt.”

“How on earth can you be okay? No, just, wait, how on earth can you believe me just like that?! And tell me not to believe the world is real?!”

Rick just shrugged. “I don’t know. But you wouldn’t make that shit up, no way. Man… I could hear the pain and fear in your voice. I’ve never heard of any kind of acid trip or coma or even hallucinations like that. Maybe you’re wrong but, ehh, nah. I don’t really think so. So, we gotta yank your brain out of here and back to the real world right? So, how we gonna do that?”

I felt like I was going crazy all over again. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect Rick, this Rick, to believe me. And now that he did… I grabbed him, hugging him tight. A manly, manly hug.

“Dude…” Rick patted my back. “It’s gonna be okay dude. Just get strong enough and your milestone shit will bring me to you right? So you gotta start kicking some major ass for me! Now, seriously though, how we gonna get you out of here?”

I leaned back from Rick, a wide smile on my face.

“I have absolutely no idea.”