Novels2Search
I Lanced Your Mom
These Ergonomics Are Terrible — Prologue

These Ergonomics Are Terrible — Prologue

===

"...mmh. Okay. I, uh, won't do that again. Yeah. Ngh..." Something in my chest is definitely broken, and I'm doing my very best to not scream from the thing currently trying its best to flatten my pelvis.

Who in the Sphere even makes 'mech combat couches with nice conveniently placed pilot lap smashing spikes in the seat?! Yeah, I love getting hit between the legs every time my 'mech falls on its face or the whatnot, whoohoo!

"Where's the hatch relEAAASE-"

THUD thumpthumpthump.

Ahahahoww... "I'm gonna lie here for a while, I think. Yeah."

"Fractures, detected. Warning, General Massive Systems cannot be held responsible for autodoc failures in the event of massive trauma."

Or, I could have broken ribs and need to grab the traumakit. That works too. 

I sloooowly get off the floor, doing my best not to upset the very snapped rib and perforate an organ or something. The chestplate on my armor scrapes gently against itself, snapped in two.

'Probably the only reason why I'm alive...'

Glancing up again, I'm reminded of just how far I fell. Probably a miracle the Adjudicator frame even survived the damn fall..

I make my way back to the 'mech, having rolled away in the fall. The 'mech itself is mostly ruined, the limbs bent and the cockpit dented in by... something.

Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

"...What... was it?"

I remember a blur, some great impact, all the screens going dark as suddenly my cabin punched me in the chest...

'What if this is its hunting pit?'

"....shit." Where's that damn traumakit?!

===

It's ruined. The fucking traumakit was what hit me! The impact smashed in the cabin, and this stupid ruggedized piece of shit broke my ribs as it flew out of the brackets!

Fucking, DAMNIT!

I sit in the hastily resealed cockpit, lit by the red of emergency lighting.

In my hands are the remains of a fairly expensive traumakit that could print a surgical ward and gun turrets, after harvesting the mats itself.

"Yannaga!" I hiss in pain as something moves in my chest.

'Okay, that... bad idea. No more shouting. What are my options?'

I've got some basic medical supplies, the SERE kit, my weapons, and a knocked out 'mech husk.

'Whitewrap, counterbiotics, replacement blood. Two handprinters, some longrations, emergency locator. A pulse rifle, and a pistol. Also, Adjudicator-model frame, freshly obliterated.'

'Plus... Maybe I could fix this?'

I glance back down at the traumakit... It crackles gently and a wisp of smoke curls out.

'Hah. Yeah no.'

Time to get to work...

I fumble with my armor, carefully suppressing any flinching whenever a movement sends another spike of pain across my chest. Stripping out of my undersuit just enough to expose where I... think, is the broken rib, I spin out a bit of whitewrap, press it gently into place, wait for it to set, and suit back up again.

The locator beacon is another problem. This thing is ancient, and it took a few knocks in the crash. 'I might be able to cannibalize the traumakit for parts...?'

Regardless, I set it aside.

With that out of the way, I guess there's nothing to do but wait...

...

...

taptaptaptaptap

Oh come on it's been like a minute, how am I getting restless?!

"Breathe in... breathe out. I'm fine. I can stay in here for a day or two. There's nothing to worry about, and I'm safely locked inside my mech."

...

'Yeah this isn't working. Damnit. Where're my tools? Maybe I can see about rigging a screen and the comm jags.'

===

Previous Chapter
Next Chapter