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I Have No Magic, Only Guns!
Chapter 25 — Small and Angry

Chapter 25 — Small and Angry

The guard (Big Joe, as Rudy called him) gave Chase a dark look but gestured to a woman standing a few stalls down. Most of her discerning features were wrapped in a purple head scarf, though long blonde hair still sprouted down to her waist. It was dotted with multicoloured beads and stripes of pink, and she swished it around constantly while tending to her offerings. When Chase and Rudy approached, she beamed at them.

“Gentlemen! How can I help you on this muggy morning down in the Market?”

Rudy stepped forward, dropping into a short bow. When he rose, Chase noticed he was blushing.

“Joe’s wares are too big for my friend here, so we were hoping you might have something to better suit his delicate hands.”

“Are you saying my hands are delicate for dealing in such weaponry?” the lady asked. She spread her fingers and fluttered them toward Rudy’s face, which had him trembling at the knees.

“No, no, my apologies, Katie, er, Kathleen. Just that…well…”

Kathleen laughed. “Just joking around with you, Rudy.” She turned to address Chase. “Do you have anything in mind, or should I take you on the full tour?”

Chase eyed off the racks of weapons, unsure if he’d be able to name a single one of them. “A tour would be lovely. I’ve only used pistols until now, so I don’t know much.”

“Oh! And you like using them?”

“They’re okay,” Chase answered. “Letting me down a bit when it comes to bigger game.”

Kathleen smirked and winked at him when he said bigger game, as if she had deduced a secret meaning behind his words. He had to remind himself that these people probably assumed he was some kind of private security personnel, or someone really into home defence. Maybe even a contract killer.

“Well, I’ve got something in mind, but I’ll serve up the vegetables before the meat, okay? Who knows, maybe you’ll prefer the broccoli and carrots compared to a tough old boot of a steak, eh?”

Chase smiled and spread his hands, encouraging her to continue. She began by selecting a T-shaped weapon from a rack, unfolding a long, crooked stock hiding underneath the weapon. The magazine was about as thick as the body itself.

“We begin with ye olde faithful!” she declared. “You’ll know it once I say it, but this is an Uzi. Absolutely quintessential. If you’ve ever played one of those shoot ‘em up games, you’ll know this one.”

Chase nodded. “Yep, knew the name. Didn’t know it looked like that, but yep.”

She smiled and continued the show, putting back the Uzi and grabbing a different weapon from a few rows below. “Next up we’ve got the Brügger and Thomet APC, a beautiful little beast, don’t you think?”

Chase wasn’t as sold. In a roundabout way, it kind of looked like a tiger ready to pounce. The stock on the weapon was its tail, helping the predator to balance before it struck out for the kill. He wanted something elegant and controlled, not a weapon that raged in his hands and threatened to bite his arm off.

“It’s nice, yep.”

Kathleen squirmed. “You don’t like it?! That’s fine, that’s fine, you want something with a few more years behind it. Don’t forget these weapons were all designed at least sixty to seventy years ago, mind you. Not many innovators out there once we got Talents.”

Chase could think of one person who was still innovating in the field of ballistics. Someone who had worked in their basement until they were very recently unleashed in a no-expenses-barred laboratory. Whether the world was ready for this individual’s antics was still up for debate.

Next came an older gun called an MP5K, which didn’t inspire him much, either. He could feel Rudy becoming impatient, although Kathleen seemed to enjoy the hunt. He had to wonder how an avid and capable saleswoman like herself had ended up lauding such a product. She showed him a Lusa and a MAC-11, both of which returned to the shelf. Next came an Owen Gun, which looked interesting and had the added bonus of being manufactured on home turf, but Chase couldn’t get over the odd appearance and the side-mounted sight. For a newbie in this strange world, he needed as much consistency and uniformity as he could get.

“I’ve got it!” Kathleen suddenly cried. “It’s perfect, look here!”

Chase watched as she darted to the end of a rack and pulled off a short, stocky weapon. It was extremely compact, with a tiny barrel and muzzle that were barely a hand’s length from the trigger. Kathleen pulled out the retractable stock until it clicked, then handed the whole thing to Chase.

“Look at it,” she said. “Love it. Drink it in. This is an MP7A2, and she loves you back.”

Rudy looked jealous, like he wanted to rip the thing out of Chase’s hands and claim it for himself.

“What’s so special about it?” Chase asked.

“Well for starters, just look at the thing,” Kathleen replied. “But the real kicker is that it’s the perfect middle ground between a nice petite pistol and the big fuckers that Joe throws around. It’s got semi-auto and full-auto on that little switch there,” she pointed out two symbols on the right side of the gun, “so you can shoot it like a pistol or a rifle. Barely any recoil unless you’re dumping the full mag, which is forty rounds.”

Chase was liking the sound of it already, especially since he’d be doubling the magazine capacity of his Beretta. Plus, considering the weapon’s reasonably small profile and weight, he could carry both guns around and switch between them as it suited him.

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“And this’ll take down bigger game than a Beretta APX?”

“Sure will. In fact, that’s the entire purpose of the weapon. It uses an exclusive 4.6 x 30mm armour-piercing ammunition that you won’t find anywhere else. Makes it non-compatible, but it’s so worth it. This baby’ll punch through twenty layers of Kevlar and a titanium backing and still have you back in time for breakfast.”

To Chase, some of the effect was lost in the jumble of words that he was still trying to catch up on. But Rudy seemed genuinely impressed. He pulled the weapon into a few stances, checking the sight and feeling the weight. He preferred having the stock on its longest setting, which made it slightly harder to get in close behind the sight but was more comfortable on his neck. By the time he got round to asking the price, he was basically already sold.

“Well, I’m not going to mess you around,” Kathleen started. “She’s more expensive than the others I showed you, but you’ll be happy to know that it’s less than Big Joe would’ve ripped you off for. Keep in mind that the MP7 line wasn’t made or even offered for civilian use, so the manufacturers didn’t have the same incentive to cut costs. Government’ll pay anything, you know?”

Chase shuffled from foot to foot, starting to like the low price tag he’d spied on the Owen Gun. “You’re making me nervous, just hit me with it.”

“It’ll set you back seven thou’.”

“Oof.” He whistled and stepped back, pretending to be shocked. In reality, he was actually quite pleased with the price. He’d spent more than that on the couple things he’d purchased for the other Hunters. As a Guild Leader, especially one who was yet to pay himself a proper salary, he felt like it was warranted.

Plus, it was a damn nice weapon.

“I’d go six,” he said. “Or seven’s fine if you throw in a couple boxes of rounds?” He was conscious that such an exclusive ammunition type probably wouldn’t be available at Darryl and Mary’s shop. If he didn’t stock up now, he’d be back at the Market in no time. Kathleen was nice, but it wasn’t a place he wanted to frequent.

Kathleen looked unhappy to be bartered with, but she still gave a counter-offer. “One box of these little guys is five hundred bullets, and’ll set you back five-hundred Credits. I’ll chuck in one of them with the seven.”

“Deal.” He stood awkwardly for a moment. “Is there like a… a cardboard box or something for all of this? I don’t really want to walk around Seven Town with it out in the open.”

Kathleen laughed. “You’ve really never done this, huh? Hand it back here for the time being — I’ll have it delivered to your address. And call me Katie. This purchase officially solidifies our friendship.”

He gave back the weapon, which Katie snaffled away. She grabbed a black cardboard box of ammo and put it nearby, then returned with a smile.

“Now you pay the piper. Where’ve you hidden the gold, huh?”

Chase laughed, and brought up his System. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “I’m ready, what’s your last name?”

“I’m serious. This is the way it goes, kiddo.”

The smile faded from Chase’s face.

Oh shoot. Rudy didn’t mention anything about gold.

“Are you serious? I thought I’d pay with Credits…”

“And get the CIU on my ass? Hell no! Rudy? You gonna pay up for your referral?”

The young man stepped forward. He was smirking, like he’d planned for this eventuality. “Don’t worry, Katie. I thought he might forget, so I brought some of my own.” He pulled out a purse, retrieving a few nuggets of gold. “I might have gone a little over, but consider it a tip. A thanks for the honour of being served by such a fine lady.”

Katie snorted and took the payment, inspected each nugget, then placed the whole lot on a set of scales. She typed the result into a calculator, then nodded. “Barely enough. You’re lucky the market liked gold this morning.”

With that task done, they made some polite small talk before Chase excused them under the pretence of looking for attachments. In reality, he wanted to find a dark corner to clout Rudy over the head in. When they made it to the far end of the Market complex, he found a suitable spot.

“The hell was that?!” he demanded. “You never told me I had to pay in gold.”

Rudy shushed him, clapping him on the shoulder. “Relax, Chase, relax. You were doing me a favour, you just didn’t realise it. I’ve been trying to get Katie to go to dinner with me for two years now, and I just needed a subtle way to show her how rich I am.”

Chase shook off his hand. He opened his mouth to tell him he was making a fool of himself, then thought better of it. If it weren’t for Rudy, he’d never have found this place. He didn’t want his unsolicited relationship advice to ruin their business relationship.

“Right, well can I pay you through the System? It wouldn’t look weird, right? You’re part of the hunting shop, after all.”

“You may, but I’d advise not doing so while we’re in here. Excuse my tinfoil hat, but someone must be watching for weird transactions in weird places. Oh, and I’d usually tack on a ten percent fee for the referral, but I’ll let it slide this time. Even an accidental favour should be repaid.”

There was not a single chance in heaven that Chase would be paying a seven-hundred Credit fee for the pleasure of crawling into a fridge and being led down to a musty bunker, even if he’d had that kind of money to throw away willy-nilly. Though he supposed that’s what Rudy meant by his ‘side hustle’. He brought folks into the Market and they paid him for the honour.

With the day’s shopping over, they headed for the tunnels that led back above ground to a place near the Seven Town train station. Like Rudy said, the huge cement pipes were wide enough that people could pass by on the other side. Many of them threw curious or scornful glances his way; whether it was due to his young age or just because he was a new face, he didn’t know. Maybe it was because Rudy tracked along behind him, talking to someone through his System in a loud voice that echoed up and down the tunnel. If they weren’t so far under the earth, he’d have worried about the above-grounders hearing Rudy’s voice and finding the place.

After fifteen minutes of hiking up a steady gradient, the flow of traffic in the other direction seemed to cease. Chase thought they should’ve been out of the tunnels by now, unless the terrain was also rising at a similar gradient as the tunnel. The steps down from the housing development had been steep, but not this steep.

Rudy seemed to notice the lack of traffic too, because soon enough he overtook took Chase, walked about twenty metres ahead, then held up one arm. He spoke, and his voice carried back along the tunnel to Chase. “This is odd, don’t you think? No people? Maybe we should go back the other way.”

“Hell no,” Chase complained. “I’ve spent nearly three years in Dungeons, never getting claustrophobic, but this shit is starting to make my lungs hurt. We’ve been walking forever.”

“I dunno,” Rudy mused. “It’s just…odd.”

They continued on, both silent. When Chase finally saw light, he began to speed up, overjoyed to finally exit this dingy hellhole of a tunnel. It might’ve been more direct than looping through the housing development, but if he ever returned to the Market, he’d be taking the slower route.

At last, they burst out into the fresh air. Chase had acclimatised to the sticky, stale air in the Market, forgetting just how crisp and icy real oxygen was. The recycled stuff could go jump.

He resisted rubbing his eyes, instead letting them adjust to the sunlight. He spun around, taking in his surroundings. Behind him, Rudy stood transfixed by a black car parked ten metres from the tunnel entrance. Leaning on the car was a brawny middle-aged man, thick sunglasses and a blue facemask covering most of his brown complexion. Next to him was a young, pretty woman around Chase’s height, her shining black hair tied in a thick plait.

“I knew it,” Kim said.