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I Hate Being The Protagonist
Chapter 38 - My Soul

Chapter 38 - My Soul

Two weeks passed since I sparred against the elder. Relia has been observing me while I try to find my soul and touch it, in order to 'click it into place' as the elder put it. I don't know exactly what he meant by that, interpreting his vague description in my own way.

This task has proven itself quite difficult, more so than grasping the idea of how the works.

"You're telling me my soul isn't in line with my body!" I protest, shouting into the air from frustration.

"What's going on?" Relia peeks her head behind one of the stone pillars, startled by my sudden outburst.

"I can't feel my darn soul!" I grumble, sick and tired from trying the same thing for two weeks.

The problem was that I've never dabbled in soul magic, as it is held quite high in terms of complexity. The books I read on soul magic and what Lucidel knew about it didn't equate to much, only categorizing it as one of the rarest and hardest magics to learn.

As I've recently learned spirit magic in a way, the jump to soul magic is astronomical. Turns out the soul and spirit aren't the same thing. My spirit is the connection between my body, magic and soul. The soul is the essence of one's being, which can be transferred to the afterlife if your body dies. It is immortal in a sense, unless you are an outworldly being like Amon. When Demons and Angels die, their souls disappear.

This happens because their soul IS their body, fusing into an indistinguishable concoction.

Relia walks up to me, tilting her head sideways in sympathy for my troubles.

"You don't need to know soul magic in order to reach your soul."

"I know that," I respond, "But is it that hard to do?" I ask.

Relia nods her head in confirmation.

"I've never seen anyone do it during my lifetime, so to me it seems impossible. The only reason why I know it's possible is because the elder has done it. He probably achieved it after trying for many years."

"I'll do it in less than 3 weeks," I spitefully state, not even attempting to contemplate staying here longer than what I set myself.

"You've already been here for 3 weeks," Relia corrects me.

"3 weeks from fighting the elder I mean, since that was when he enlightened me on a way to get stronger," I explain.

"I'm watching you," she winks.

-

A few days later, an interesting thing occurred. While I was deep in the void of trying to access my soul, the elder entered the dome, bringing a new member.

The new 'learner' was the same man that threatened me while I was in the outside shrine. The pathetic buffoon that couldn't collect all of the research and enter the secret temple here with us.

The elder explained how he decided to take the man in, since his resolve and patience proved worthy of becoming a monk here. The guy gave up on everything, deciding to die in the desert shrine rather than go back home. I had to admit it was a bit surprising, deserving of the applause that he received on entry.

As the temple was clapping in unison, it was unheard by the starved man, as he passed out from exhaustion, dehydration and from not having eaten for weeks. I'm surprised he survived this far.

As they fed him nutritional liquids, life blossomed inside him again. They couldn't feed him normal food as he could go into cardiac arrest. The refeeding syndrome is dangerous, as people that have starved for so long can have metabolic disturbances.

The man sits upright with the help of another monk.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"So much for a higher being... I can't even eat normal food. My body is still so fragile..." the man solemnly states.

His body was fragile, but if he accumulated enough mana and used magic like he's supposed to, he could survive without eating for months. Water could be summoned with magic, but the vicinity of the desert shrine has a magic effect that prevents it. If your magic was strong enough, you could still create water.

The elder approached me, silently judging me from a few meters away. After my brows furrowed in anticipation, the old man finally spoke. "Having trouble, are you?"

"Don't interrupt me. I don't need your witty wisdom. Scram," I order, trying to continue my path towards the soul.

The elder snickers, walking up to me and placing his palm on my back. I felt the warmth of his dried hand reach into my skin, his aura freely existing without any pressure. Suddenly, I felt a vibration within myself, an unexplainable frequency that came from an incorporeal place.

It was my soul. He didn't touch it or reach it, but he made me aware of its existence. This was a weird feeling, as I've yet to describe how exactly it works. I could sense my own soul, even though the soul itself is me. Like looking into the mirror, but you can make contact with yourself and observe from every possible angle.

As the elder removed his hand from me, I could no longer sense it. Although I lost track of my soul, he set me on a path I could easily follow. My eyes opened ecstatically, after which I sprung into the air energetically.

"I sensed it!" I exclaimed while tensing my hands in excitement.

The elder turns towards Relia, who has been looking at us behind one of the columns. "This one is particularly gifted. I can't believe he sensed it after I released a single impulse."

He told Relia that it was almost impossible for a human to sense that slight impulse around the soul. The impulse was released as a mere joke, humoring my claim of reaching the soul within 3 weeks.

The elder grabs his chin and ponders deeply. "I'm captivated by his possibilities. What does the future hold for this young man? If he's this talented, what will become of him when he grows older..."

"I've been asking myself the same thing during his whole visit," Relia agrees.

The elder stayed for 2 more hours, during which I tried to replicate the impulse given to me. Relia told me that I couldn't do it so quickly just because I sensed it once, but I assured her that I got this. The other monks weren't sure whether to laugh at my attempt, or fear it, since they already witnessed something impossible.

As the elder was about to leave, the mana inside the dome received a strong fluctuation. The old man looked in my direction, seeing my satisfied grin. I managed to replicate the impulse, creating a vibration that I could easily trace my soul to. As I reached for it, I got a sense for how it felt.

When I touched my soul, it looked and felt like an orange flat surface, surrounded by empty space. Since this impulse could filter everything out but my soul, it made sense.

The flat surface stretched on beyond what I could sense, reminding me of many things I saw and felt during my enlightenment.

After the deja vu passed, I felt an odd rumbling sensation. It was an ominous dread that frightened me, caused presumably by my soul...

What happened next was recalled by the elder, as I fell unconscious immediately.

The moment I touched my soul, my outer body rumbled, with a colossal amount of aura surging out of me. The elder reacted quickly, grabbing my body and quickly escaping the dome with me. It seemed this was an emergency, a danger that the elder sensed and tended to in that exact moment.

As he hurried out of the dome, he placed me far away, about a mile away from the temple. All that was done in less than a second, so he couldn't or wouldn't abandon me on time.

The aura kept surging out uncontrollably, digging us into a giant crater. The elder held onto me as much as he could, but was blasted away before the final wave.

As aura poured, a tipping point was achieved, where an explosion of magic energy detonated from my body. The elder used his to its full extent, trying to redirect the energy upwards.

He couldn't tame it or suppress it, so the only viable option was to prevent the destruction of this entire desert.

I knew the elder was strong, but even with his strength, this feat was monumental. The explosion of energy would reach the cities of Emperia, hundreds and even thousands of miles away.

As the elder pushed the burning aura upwards in a controlled manner, he was being burnt severely. The sky darkened, as the mana from my soul obstructed any sunlight from reaching us. Who knows how far the desert darkened, as the thick layer of mana kept growing, creating a giant cloud.

The explosion wasn't instant, rather continuing on for a minute or so. During this prolonged time, the elder used 100% of his power to stop the rising pillar of destruction from reaching the temple and anywhere else except our vicinity.

He grit his teeth and endured the life-threatening disaster. All of this happened while I was unconscious. My spirit shut my brain off, since the surge of power would be too much for me to endure.

When I woke up, I was inside the temple and taken care of by Relia. Next to me was the elder, taped in bandages all over his body. I could sense a dim aura coming from him, a fraction of what it previously had been.

I asked what happened, listening to Relia's explanation. Yasu and the others watched the whole scene, mostly covering themselves before the pressure that my aura exerted.

"I... I'm sorry!" I whimpered, overcome by emotions. I felt immense guilt for almost killing an innocent man. The elder gave me pointers and sparred against me when I asked him to. He went out of his way to help me, while I returned by crippling him.

"Adam... it's not your fault," Relia assures me, tending to the elder's injuries.