Chapter 28: Combo
“You deposed the King before I did?”
“No. God, no. I have no desire to be King. Way too many headaches, not enough vacations, on call 24/7, I’ll pass.”
“Then why are you on that throne?” asked Thoron.
“I was curious to see how comfortable it is. It’s not bad.”
“…Where is the King?”
“In a safe place,” Garfield replied.
“Anyway, join me.”
“No thanks! You mean that way too literally for my tastes.”
“I’m not offering you a choice.”
Garfield held up both his hands, palms forward. “Pass!”
Thoron squinted at Garfield. “Are you married?”
“Hm?”
“Those rings…”
“Oh, these?” Garfield twisted his hands around. “I don’t normally wear rings, and they feel kind of funny on my thumbs and pinkies. Using the ring fingers is just a coincidence.”
“Why are you wearing them?” At Thoron’s targeted questioning, Hannah tensed up. Thoron must have sensed something particularly special about the rings.
“First you track dangerous levels of radioactive contamination into my temporary throne room, then you question me about my accessories? Have you no manners, Thoron?”
“You blame me for this… contamination?”
“I’m honestly disappointed that putting a nuclear warhead under your pillow was insufficient, but not surprised.”
“So you realized that your magic doesn’t work on me,” Thoron speculated.
“We’ll see about that.” Garfield pointed his right hand at Thoron. “Fireball.” A small fireball struck Thoron and dissipated immediately.
“Hm? That’s the magic of this world. Oh, I see. How desperate. Creative, but desperate. Let me try.” Thoron charged up a ball of energy in his hand, raising its density far beyond what he used against the bears or the palace guards previously.
The energy ball struck Garfield dead-center. The ring on his right ring finger glowed, activating the enchanted ability. For any damage Garfield sustained, and equal amount of damage would be dealt to the offending enemy’s mana.
Thoron’s mana was sapped, although only a microscopic amount from his own perspective. The ring on Garfield’s left ring finger began to glow. For any damage Garfield dealt to an enemy’s mana, he would gain that much health in addition. Garfield’s wound healed instantly.
In response, the ring on Garfield’s right middle finger began to glow. For any health Garfield gained, his enemy would take an equal amount of damage. Thoron hardly noticed the loss of health, but the ring on Garfield’s left middle finger did.
For any damage sustained by Garfield’s enemy, Garfield would gain twice that amount of mana. However, Garfield would sustain an equal amount of damage as his enemy. This damage triggered the ring on his right ring finger again, assaulting Thoron’s mana. In response, Garfield healed as his new wound disappeared, resulting in Thoron once again receiving damage.
Garfield’s mana skyrocketed but he sustained damage for a third time. The cycle repeated at near-infinite speed, draining Thoron of his enormous quantities of mana and health.
“This is!” Thoron breathed his last and turned to stone for some reason. Garfield collapsed to the floor.
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Having cleaned up all monsters from the 19th tunnel, Solana took a ritualistic deep breath. “I think that’s it.”
According to Garfield, the attacks would all originate from this approximate area, so Solana didn’t need to patrol the east or west. Her senses told her that the enemy army either was annihilated or had retreated far to the south underground. She teleported north over several hops due to her limited range.
Eventually, she reached the palace and found Hannah tending to a collapsed Garfield. “What happened!?”
“He filled up with mana again.”
“Like when Chrissy took his hand? Will he be okay?”
“Let me see,” Chrissy answered from the entrance. She walked over to Garfield, kneeled, and put a hand on his shoulder. “I sense that you’re well.”
“…I think I just learned a new definition of well…”
“Garfield!”
“Hold on.” Garfield used his sensing magic on the stone formerly known as Thoron. “Moron’s dead.”
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Solana asked, “What will happen to the Badlands now?”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Normally, the area would need to be evacuated for a long time while the contamination decayed. However, we can clean that place up with the help of magic. Do any of you want it?”
“Can we really have it?” Hannah asked.
“Sure, why not? I’ll throw in a Palace of the Gods as a bonus. All I ask in return is that you help me stand up.”
The vampires came to Garfield’s aid. He turned to Chrissy. “What about you? Do you want a palace or a shrine or something? I owe you for all your help.”
“No, I don’t need anything like that. I’m a bit worried that you’re able to use attack magic now.”
“Well, you’re the one who helped me with that.”
“True, but it’s somewhat depressing. I feel like my purpose is fading.”
“Uh, is there anything I can do to help with that?” Garfield inquired.
“I suppose. Let me move in with you.”
“Come again?”
“I can monitor you from anywhere, but it’s not the same. I don’t want to rush to your aid from afar on occasion. Let me be closer!”
“Dammit! I don’t need another person trying to sneak into my bed!”
“Huh? Why would I be the only person you prevent from doing that?”
“If I let you move in, then won’t the rest of White Glow use that an excuse and try to move in?”
“Have you forgotten what my aspect is? I can put a barrier around us that keeps everyone else out. Wouldn’t that be useful?”
“…How soon can you gather your things?”
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“Duke, how nice to see you again.” The King shook Garfield’s hand. “I’m glad to see you’re still in one piece after all your efforts to deal with the southern threats.”
“I’ve never been healthier.”
“I do have one question though.”
“I thought you might.”
“Why is it that up until a little while ago I was able to see the ocean right from the throne room window?”
“Your Majesty, why do you assume every strange little thing that happens is somehow my doing?”
The King only raised his eyebrows and waited for a reply.
“Fine, you got me. I was worried that the evil demigod Thoron would assault Bretten so I moved Bretten to the shore and temporarily placed a copied Bretten in the original location.”
“You… moved the city?”
“Yes.”
“You can do that?”
“It’s hardly a creative idea. I just stole it from someone else.”
“Other people can do this!?”
“What? No, I don’t think so. They just conceived of the idea before I ever did.”
“…And you created a… fake city?”
“Yes. Some of my fake residents were even destroyed by Thoron. My bears just can’t catch a break lately.”
“It looks like we’re back to normal here but, what happened to the fake city?”
“I erased it.”
“You… erased an entire city?”
“What? You want there to be two Brettens right next to each other? How confusing would that be?”
The King looked at his Captain who just shook his head, eyes closed, resigned to accept the situation. His Prime Minister reacted similarly. The King asked Garfield, “What will you do now?”
“I need to clean up the Badlands. They got messed up pretty badly during my opening salvo. Also, I’m having the stone statue of Thoron modified into a fountain. He’ll actually pee fountain water. I thought it would go nicely in my yard.”
“V—Very well, Duke. Please let us know if you need anything from the Kingdom. As always, we are in your debt.”
“Oh, that reminds me actually. I’ve received a bunch of requests to open up a second shop in Bretten. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Do you have any objections?”
“That café? My son’s been pestering me about that actually. Would you mind accommodating him once the second shop opens?”
“Not at all.”
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While wandering around the Badlands cleansing the surface, Garfield noticed that the land naturally gives birth to various monsters. Thoron had been guiding this process in the past, but to a lesser extent it would occur with or without intervention. Garfield had inherited some control over the nature of what spawned.
“Hey Hannah, Solana, I think I can control what monsters spawn from now on and what their general behavior is like.”
“Cool!”
“You can!?”
“Hang on a minute.” Garfield quickly figured out how to interface with the land. “Hm, I see. Hm. HM.” Garfield manually increased the ratios of certain types of monsters to be spawned. The three characteristics most represented would now be female, sexy, and friendly.
“I just might be more evil than Thoron.”
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Although Garfield unleashed the full effect of his mapping magic in order to prepare for the battle against Thoron, he learned a great deal about the world as a whole. East of the Shadow Lands, unrest and instability plague several other nations. Garfield suspects he’ll get sucked into those matters sooner rather than later.
He also noticed the entrance to a new shrine in his house. He opened the door, looked around, and closed the door. “I have an idea.” Garfield teleported to the Polonio Estate. Eventually, Yttria came to greet him.
“Garfield? How did it go!?”
Garfield brought her up to speed, glossing over the details that he didn’t think she had any interest in, such as the spawning of sexy monsters and new female roommates who practically worshipped him. “And! There’s something I want to show you.”
“Show me? What?”
“Have you ever been skiing?”
“Skiing?”
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“Garfield, good job eliminating Thoron. Even She’Sin’s happy with how merciful you were, not that I care.”
“You’re welcome, Col.” Yttria hid somewhat behind Garfield while he conversed with the shadowy god.
“Using Thoron’s remains as a lewd urinating statue is a bit…”
“Col, I have a question for you.”
“Hm?”
“I’m quite appreciative that you chose to have your shrine take the form of a ski resort, but…”
“It was Pandora’s idea. I hardly care one way or the other.”
“If this is your shrine, an area of your own creation, then WHY ARE THERE LONG LINES FOR EVERYTHING!?” Garfield shouted in unadulterated fury.
“Hah. You want a ski resort, you get a ski resort. Go complain to Pandora. Get to work on creating you know what.” Col disappeared into his trademarked shadowy cloud.
After waiting in line behind presumably fake people, Garfield and Yttria were fitted for skis and other gear. “Garfield, I’ve never done this before…”
“We’ll start slow.”
After a few runs down the gentlest slope, Yttria progressed to the next skill level. Following a frustrating wait for a ski lift, they began their ascent to a more challenging area.
“I should have asked you before, but what do you prefer for an activity? Relaxing on a sunny beach or skiing like this?”
“Both. Don’t forget to invite me.”
“So, what’s your assignment as a knight?”
“It’s as we thought. I’ll be primarily assigned to the princess.”
“That makes sense. Take good care of her.”
“Of course.”
“I guess you won’t have that much free time.”
“Oh, the King told me something slightly unusual about that.”
“He did?”
“He told me to make time for you.”
“Make time for me?”
“Yes. He said that takes priority over everything else except for the princess’ life.”
“Doesn’t that, uh, make me your second charge as a knight?”
“I don’t think he meant it that way.”
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“Oh? What a pleasant surprise.”
“Pandora.”
“What could the Goddess of Love possibly want with me?”
“I came here to warn you.”
“Warn me? Am I somehow in danger?”
“No, not you. It’s this world.”
“What about it?” asked Pandora.
“It faces a grave threat. If it falls, the sum total of love diminishes.”
“I’m sure that would very much disappoint you.”
“It would.”
“What is the nature of this threat?”
“I believe you know them well.”
“I know many.”
“In particular, the one who owns this mansion.”