The saying ‘Your life flashes before your eyes’ is probably the best way I can explain what's happening. Although I wasn’t dying, I might as well be with the way I continued to live.
A group of girls stood by their lockers snickering and gossiping away.
“Did you hear? Her sister died on her graduation day.”
“No way, I heard she overworked herself to death.”
“Maybe she was just soooo happy to graduate, her heart couldn’t take it.”
“Hahaha”
“Ahahaha”
“Shhh- she’s is passing by”
I walk silently down the school hall past the group of girls. They were all shorter than me by a few inches despite being in the same grade. One of the girls calls out to me and I stop.
“Hey, I’m really sorry for your loss.”
“Huh? Oh yeah… thanks.” I give a wry smile and wave goodbye then continue down the hall. Keeping my head down I use the bangs of my long black hair to cover my face. I do my best not to pay attention to those around me. But that didn’t stop the unnerving feeling of everyone’s eyes locked onto my presence. I knew all too well, that I’m the talk of my middle school. I usually take the main road going straight to my home, not today. Taking a detour off the main road I head straight to the cemetery. The walk there is about 10 minutes, but in a few blinks of my almond colored-eyes I came to the entrance. Some people were already visiting other graves grieving or greeting their loved ones. Taking a short stroll till I finally came to a small headstone in the ground. It wasn’t like the normal ones lined up in this cemetery, plus it only took up a tiny space in the sea of stones. And yet around the small headstone are large bouquets of flowers and many notes left by my family and her friends.
I miss you!!
I hope heaven is treating you well!!
We miss youuuuu!!
I hope to see you again someday!!
Please watch over us!!
We’ll always be with you no matter where you are!!
We love you!!
I love you!!
“Hey big sis… it’s me again. Probably… sick of me coming here so much. Heh… probably telling me ‘chin up and do what you gotta do!’ I know it’s been a week since… but… it’s kinda hard not to see you everyday.”
I still remember… You’re always showy with your looks… unlike me. I could never match you in any way big sis. I always wanted to be you though. Did you know? I just had enough allowance to buy the same hair dye you used. The sharpie dot I had under my left eye is washed off… and my hair is almost as long as yours.
I sit down and touch the lettering engraved into the headstone.
Ariki Zuin
We couldn’t afford much since the cremation took all we had. But mom and dad were adamant in getting something to immortalize Ariki. In the end, we have this tiny stone engraving of just her name.
“I know… you’d be yelling at us for spending most of what you’ve saved for us…” My eyes well up. I bit my lip to keep myself from reopening a dam of tears then took a deep breath. “We… I… I don’t know if things will ever get better now that you’re gone, big… big sis…” A few teardrops hit the stone. A stream broken through despite my methods of containing my teary eyes. The bubble of my emotions bursts again. Unlike the first day, I kept my cries as quiet as I could while my tears wet the stone. My tears slowly filled a part of the engravings.
“Mom… Dad… Sara… Toshiro… Hirokii…” Rubbing out my tears as they continue to fall.
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“Ya doin’ alright there sweety?”
I quickly turned to see who called out to me. A tall girl with short brunette hair wearing casual jeans and shirt approached me. I sniffle and wipe out my eyes giving me a better look at her. Though she wasn’t wearing anything skin tight the clothing seemed to fit her just right, accentuating the muscle mass she hid underneath. She looked at me with her dark brown eyes and thick eyebrows, but what stood out is the tears in her eyes.
“...Oh um… yeah I’m doing fine.” I stand up.
“A-... are… are you A-... ariki’s younger sister?”
A soft squeaky voice was heard, but no one but the tall girl stood in front of me.
“...Yeaah? I’m… Mizaka Zuin, Ariki’s younger sister. Nice to meet you um…” I bow.
“Name’s Tomoko Ikeda, nice to meet ya’ an’ the squeaky one behind me is Kiyo Ishikawa. Come on out Kii, can’t be hidin’ in front of Arii’s lil’ sis y'know?”
“Y-yeah! I suppose… you’re… you’re right. Toii...” She steps out from behind Tomoko. Like a mouse to an elephant, Kiyo is tiny standing next to Tomoko. Her straight long black hair reached past her shoulders. Her light brown eyes, under the sun, it shone like two brown jewels. She wore a short dress and frilly top, almost doll-like in fashion. She carried a large bouquet of roses.
She’s… really cute.
“N-nice to meet you! Um… yes. My name is Kiyo Ishikawa. W-... w… we’re… Ariki’s friends!” Despite speaking as loud as she could, they still came out as soft squeaks. She bows and I bow back.
“Nice to meet you Kiyo… and Tomoko… um I’m sorry we couldn’t hold a proper funeral with everyone… it’s just…”
“Don’t sweat it. We know about Arii’s family’s situation, we appreciate your dad n’ mom for lettin’ us know what happened.”
“Oh okay… I guess you visit my big sister’s grave a lot too?”
“M-m… mhmm… I brought roses for her today.”
“We wouldn’t really be here if it weren’t for Arii… Was always the glue that held us through the storms.”
“U-um… if you’re okay with it… would you place these for us?” Kiyo holds out the roses for me.
“Uh… Sure, thank you for coming. Least… big sis isn’t as lonely as I thought she would be.” I whisper the last bit as I place the roses on her stone.
“You are all here early.”
“Oh heya, Noii. Yeaah. Didn’t have much chores on my end n’ Kii got off work early so we decided to head on over quick’as’we’could.”
“Hmm? You must be Ariki’s little sister.” I turn to the sound of the feminine yet stern voice. The way she stands and talks from the way she dresses shouted ‘fierce beauty’. Her wavy black hair touched her shoulders. Dark brown eyes complete with normal size eyebrows. A face drawn almost picture perfect. She wasn’t as tall and dominating as Tomoko nor short and cute as Kiyo, like a reasonable mix between the two. She wore black pants, dark brown shoes with a white shirt and dark coat, simple yet striking.
“I believe this is the first time we've truly met. Nice to meet you, my name is Nozomi Fujimoto.” She bows.
“Ah… nice to meet you, I’m Mizaka Zuin.” I bow back.
Nozomi approaches me, taking a moment to look at me before hugging me.
“There, there. We miss Ariki too.” The warmth of her hug and her words touches my heart. I feel my cheeks warm up being pressed against her.
“I… I…” Before I could say anything my tears came out first. Then my cries. Nozomi held me while I let the rest of my feelings fly out. Not long till Kiyo and Tomoko joined the hug also crying along. After a bit of our own mourning the three girls kneeled in front of the headstone silently praying. Each of them saying their own messages to Ariki with hopes that she’ll hear them from above.
“Welp that does it. Say uh… Mizaka, right? Why don’ you come with us, we’ll treat you to some nice ol’ yakitori hm?”
“Um…” I look down hiding my face with my bangs.
Would it really be alright? I’m not really like my big sis… plus I… I don’t think I can talk much with them. I know I’ve… only been coming here and going home. I should just… go home.
Someone pats me on my back.
“Chin up and do what you gotta do. Right?” Looking up I see Ariki with her usual wide grin. Her long hair slightly flows in the wind. The sun shining down glistening off her dark hair showing a shade of purple. Still wearing her school uniform, she had her hand held out to me.
“Big sis?...” Quickly I blink and who I thought I saw is gone. Instead, it’s Nozomi holding out her hand looking at me with a soft smile. I take a deep breath and return a small smile back taking a hold of her hand.
“Right.”
“D-don’t worry! We already let your mom and d-dad… know you’re with us.”
“Yup, n’ they said to treat ya well. Which we definitely will! Oh plenty of time to go check out some of the new shops downtown too.”
“Toii don’t go overboard again. And Kii please try to stay within our sight. With you hiding behind us most of the time it’s hard to keep track of you.”
“Gotcha’ Noii. I’ll keep to a miniiiimum!”
“O-... oh okay. S-s… sorry about that. I can’t help my bad habits! I-it’s… easier to get around b...behind you guys.”
Walking together we head towards downtown. I couldn’t help, but smile a little more as I listened to my big sis’ friends chatter away.
Big sis… I hope you’re doing well up there. Maybe… I should take on your mantle? I mean… you’ve always done a lot for us. For our family. And… as second oldest, I want to help our family too! So… Thank you so much and please... Watch me do what I can.
Some years later