✩‧₊˚ ✩‧Chapter 1✩‧₊˚ ✩‧
Shujinkō is our main character.
“A little plain if one must say, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” - his mother.
At 29 years old, he had done absolutely nothing worthy for anyone to pride on. No girlfriend or boyfriend for as long as he lived, recently fired from his day job, no money to pay rent, was disowned by his family for getting into a drunk fight with his grandfather on New Years. His life was simply uneventful.
But despite all the gloom in his life, if one were to ask Shujinkō what his motivating source to keep on living was, he would confidently answer :
‘Reincarnated-Into-a-New-World’ stories!
It was a dream of his to be reincarnated as a young noble in a castle, loved by everyone. He would always imagine that kind of life every night before going to bed. Sexy mom, sexy maids, sexy cat -girls… Everything he ever dreamed of was there in his imagination--in that shallow, perverted mind of his.
He has read all the novel written by genius writers and that recently led him to believe that some way or another the same thing would occur to him after death, much like the main character of his favourite work, [I Got Sent to Another World by a Flat Chested Cat Goddess].
Quite the generic title, but the story made Shujinkō feel like he was part of the story. That was how immersive it was!
As our main character grinned to himself, a bright light suddenly appeared from the corner. Shujinkō was quick to notice what it was.
It was an incoming Chick-Fil-A truck!
Shujinkō realised that the driver was nodding off on the road, a little drunk from a Saturday night’s party he bet. Although one would imagine it to be moving at a beastly speed, the truck was driven quite slowly.
He could have easily avoided the tragedy--and maybe get a proper job afterwards, but Shujinkō was not a fool like most.
He would never miss the chance to die in the wheels of Truck-sama!
Shujinkō embraced his fate(again, one which he could have easily avoided), he began to reminisce about his past life.
To my parents, I.’m sorry for leaving you like this-- but the force of destiny is too much for me to battle… To all the girls who rejected me---shove that rejection up your ass.
As the truck connected with Shujinkō’s body, he let out a loud cry--a cry so loud it made God himself jerk.
Crack!
Shujinkō drifted in a deep slumber of death after saying his final words along with the pain.
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… was what he thought.
He woke up in the hospital shortly after.
The doctor came by and briefed him about his condition. Fortunately, he only suffered a broken left leg and a slight concussion, nothing too life threatening.
“You have this very kind young man to thank. His quick actions made it possible for you to live.”
“Nah, it was all you guys! I didn’t do anything at all.”A man, who happened to pass by while Shujinkō was in the happiest moment of his life , said, flirting with the nurses.
Shujinkō was dejected, the man completely blew his chance to restart his life. To add fuel to everything that was already going haywire, he now had the hospital bills to think about!
He let out a sigh. He knew it was a stupid plan in the first place, he just could not think of any other solution to make his life better in any way. He had originally planned to look for a job in the library he always went to-- that was the reason Shujinko was walking down the streets in the night-- but the owner of the library loathed him with a passion for catcalling his daughter.
This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
He decided to seek forgiveness that night, and maybe marry the daughter afterwards but that was just Shujinkō being wishful. He would never be that lucky to score with a beautiful girl like that.
“Mr. Shujinkō, you have a visitor.”
Shujinkō looked up, expecting his mother or uncle to give him a good scolding again. What he saw was nowhere near the familiar faces of his relatives, but someone so beautiful she was prettier than the stars at night. It was the daughter of the library owner!
“Ona?!” He squeaked.
“I came to see if you were okay…” She shyly said. “I brought you something to eat.”
For the first time in his life, Shujinko was able to become friends with a beautiful woman. The both of them spent more time together as Ona came everyday to visit. His days got instantly brighter. His bank company also called to inform him about the mistake they made during transaction, and now he has a lot of money in his pockets! Shujinko began to think that maybe, not dying was a blessing after all.
Life here doesn’t seem so bad anymore!
Several days later, Shujinkō ruptured his appendix while pooping for the first time since he was hospitalised. The doctors tried to save him, but it was far too late to save the man.
Shujinkō was deemed as dead.
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In front of him floated a girl in all white with her back facing towards Shujinkō, she had light pink hair that went down to the floor with cat ears on her head. The room he was in was white in colour, he instantly knew he was dead(from all the novels he read) although he did not know the reason for it.
“Nya?” The cat girl meowed, curling her hands, her also pink eyes sharp like that of a feline. “Oh, you got sent to me.” She sighed. “That’s tiring.”
The girl descended from where she was floating and stepped towards Shujinkō. She then started to caress the man’s chest, much to the latter’s surprise.
“Hold on--you’re cute, but I don’t go after children.” He warily said, afraid of getting apprehended by the SWAT team.
The girl glared at him. “My, what revolting first words, just so you know, I am 4 quadrillion years old in human age and I’m just making sure you’re really dead---anyway, it seems that thy was sent here too early this season? For as I am concerned, you are not to be here until you are 81 years of human age.” The girl said nonchantly, flipping through a pile of paper on her messy desk. She allowed a few seconds of utter silence before breaking it by perking up and staring at Shujinkō in admiration.
“Oh, it says here that you’re Japanese, I swear to myself that they never send me the dead Japanese anymore! I am so in love with your culture! But I’m not a weeb though σ(≧ε≦ｏ)*✲ﾟ*｡✧. Onii-chan so mean!!”
“.... Um okay then. So, can I get a reincarnation please? I don't know why I died, but I believe it was a mistake from your side.”
“Conceited, but daring. I kinda dig that in Japanese boys. However, I am forlorn to say that you have done nothing of such worth to request for a reborn, to be fair to the others. It would be of wise choice if thy were to move on from the thought."
“But I--” Shujinkō clenched his teeth, he was just about to make a better turn in his life but was yet again saddened by how things turned out in the end. “I finally became happy again…” He said under his breath.
The cat Goddesses saw Shujinkō’s dejected face and actually felt sorry for him. She was reminded of another Japanese who had the same facial expressions before she turned him into fairy dust. She then remembered about a very important thing she had been forgetting about.
“Well,” the Goddess started. “If you agree on a deal with me, I will bless you with the chance to live again. But only for the Japanese, don’t tell anybody or I’ll hit you!!(o ≧Д≦)o.”
Shujinkō’s eyes light up as if he’s seen hope. “I’ll do anything!”
He was dead set on reincarnating again. I’m definitely going to marry the girl I love! Wait for me, Ona!
The cat Goddess took a seat, crossing her legs. “I have this acquaintance of mine, He is also a God like me-- who I unfortunately share a competition with. Our bet was to see who could find the other in the quickest manner in one of each of our Worlds--and the winner takes all the loser’s Worlds . I was first to hide in His world, and his goons found me in 1, 300, 000 years. It was quite the disappointing act from me, I admit.” She bellowed.
“So, I want you to find Him within 10 years, because I am not going to let that wanker steal the Worlds I worked so hard to create! Damenasai, ano pig hontoni kirai yo!” She yelled in words that confused even the Japanese.
10 years?! That’s not possible for me alone!
Shujinko expressed his disbelief in his heart, but the cat Goddess was able to hear it perfectly fine.
“Of course, you won’t be working alone. What, do you think I’m stupid? There’s no way I’m leaving the fate of my Worlds solely in the hands of an untalented virgin. I have several other helpers (cough) slaves (cough), in my plan for World domination.” She smiled.
“What’s in it for me?”
“If you fail, I’ll rip your atomized body to shreds and turn you into dirt straight away. If you succeed, then I’ll give you back your life on Earth.” Quite the fair deal, is it not?”
Without waiting for a response, the Goddess quickly sprinkled fairy dust on Shujinkō’s face, rendering him to snap his eyes shut. “With that said, I’ll summon you with the rest in 10 years time. Be prepared! ✩‧Sayonara and Ganbatte ne! Atashi wa anata (w)o korosanaide ne!! ✩” She sang.
And with that, Shujinkō landed in Oppai, The Goddesses’ (Fairy Tail inspired) land, in a battle for a new, exciting life!✩‧₊˚ ✩‧
p/s this is not satire. there's is absolutely nothing wrong with being a weeb, or a virgin. you do you!