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#55: Admitting Mistakes

"I still can't believe you're giving me another exclusive!" Ceruty exulted.

"Is that all we are for you? An exclusive?" Aki argued.

She spoke to Ceruty through her glasses and let us hear her by turning on the speakers. Aki sat in front of me on the other side of my desk in the office, while Aya and Tomokazu sat at their desks.

"Aki," I scowled.

She glanced at me and her frown lightened. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Ceruty replied. "I'm sure it's obvious I do this to be the center of attention, but you guys helped me a lot, so I'll do anything I can to help you back, even if it's not something that will attract attention."

I doubt saying that will help Aki calm down.

"Anyway," Ceruty continued. "There's one minute left, I'll leave so you can relax because you know I won't hold back with the questions. I'll resume the call ten seconds before starting."

"Sure," Aki replied.

She took her glasses off and dropped them on the desk. Her elbows rested on the desk and propped her head by her forehead. A long breath came out of her mouth. Even though the situation was nerve-wracking, it shocked me to see Aki behave like that. I extended my arm over the desk and offered my hand to her. She stared at it for a moment before holding it and smiling at me.

"Bleh," Aya uttered in disgust.

"Seriously?" I scowled.

"I'm just trying to lift the mood," she smirked.

"Speaking of love," Aki said, "you've had partners before, right?"

Aya looked at her. "I have. Why the interest?"

"Could it be that one of them was a woman?"

Aya, Tomokazu, and I stared at her with our eyes wide open. What is she asking?

"No," Aya stammered. "Why?"

"Come on, you can't tell me you haven't noticed Umi blushing every time she takes a peek at you."

Aya was at a loss of words. "I haven't."

"Now that you say it, I actually have," I said. "But I didn't want to assume things."

"Well, I assumed it because it's pretty obvious," Aki replied.

"Are you listening to yourselves?" Aya frowned. "You shouldn't be assuming things like these, it could damage our relationship. And I'm ten years older than her."

She lowered her head to resume working on the panel of her desk. Aki and I looked at each other and chuckled.

Aki's glasses rang on the desk. She hastily grabbed them and put them on.

"Are you ready?" Ceruty asked. "Nine seconds to start."

"I am," Aki answered. She held my hand again, even tighter than before.

The countdown was completed in the blink of an eye. I opened the live stream on my glasses as Ceruty greeted the audience with her usual drawn Huma.

"Hello, my lovely Watchers! I hope you're having a lovely day. If you aren't, then it's about to become exciting!"

Aki's grip loosened. She closed her eyes and breathed in a slow, rhythmic pattern.

Ceruty continued, "I'm sure you remember the ex-president's incident, his bastard daughters, blah blah. You should also remember that the manager of the group those girls are members of, Blostars, had the balls to come here knowing how ruthless you and I can be. By the way, you should check their latest album Blossom Stars, it's pretty good."

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A smile interrupted Aki's breathing.

"Now, it is time for an actual member of Blostars to appear in my live stream. Please welcome Aki!"

The Blossom Stars song started playing in the background as Aki's hologram appeared on the screen. That's why she asked me for permission to use the song.

Aki smiled and waved in front of me. Not even a second later, her hologram did the same in the live stream.

"Hello, everyone!" she said. "I'm Aki Akane. I'm one of the five members of Blostars and I also made our costume, although I'm not wearing it right now."

"That doesn't matter, you still look beautiful," Ceruty grinned. "Your manager is one damn-lucky guy. Is there a reason why you're not wearing the costume?"

"There is," Aki nodded. "I'm here on my behalf only, not the group's, so there's no reason for me to wear the costume."

"Interesting. I'm sure some of my Watchers have heard rumors about you in the last couple of days and I'm sure they are just as interested in them as me. We always seek the truth and we don't like waiting, so please tell us the real story."

"Sure. It happened in the first year of high school. You might see me as a confident person now, but it is nothing compared to the confidence I had that year. It was high enough that I became a bully."

Ceruty's eyes opened wide when Aki said that. The messages in the live chat sped up as the viewers expressed their disbelief.

Aki continued, "I saw myself as a queen and harassed many girls for not being as beautiful and as popular as me. One of those girls was Miwa, a cute, kind, and genius student. I was already jealous of her, but the drop that spilled the glass was that the guy I was interested in liked Miwa. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do and started to bully her."

Even knowing what I did, it was clear that I didn't know the full details. Aki's smile kept getting weaker as she spoke. Ceruty seemed attentive, while the people in the chat already expected the worst.

"To make things short, that continued for the entire year. Her grades became the worst in the class, she stopped talking to everyone, and she even rejected the guy that liked her. I can't believe it took me that long to feel guilty, but it was too late by then. One week before the year ended, she committed suicide."

The messages in the chat slowed down, most of them saying that they knew it or that they couldn't believe it. Ceruty remained silent and focused on what Aki was saying. Aki, still smiling, extended her hand over the desk for me to hold it. She squeezed it even tighter than before. Luckily, her hologram only showed her shoulders and up.

"There isn't much to say after that. My parents found out about everything and took me out of school. We moved out and they forced me to see a therapist, which I did for the next three years. I came out of it a completely different person, one that I didn't know. It took me even more time to accept myself, something I'm still working on. The confidence you see is me trying to get comfortable with myself again, this time without getting out of control."

The conversation stopped and only the dim background music could be heard. The people in the chat were split up, some supporting her and others attacking her, which we already expected. Luckily, only a few insulted her, and most of those messages were promptly deleted.

"Sorry, that was heavier than I expected and I was speechless," Ceruty laughed nervously. "What message do you want to give, then?"

"I don't want people to think I'm trying to tell them I changed and that I should be forgiven. On the contrary, I'm far from being a reformed person. I ran away and didn't even apologize to the people I hurt, so I wanted to do it publicly. I apologize to Miwa's family, friends, teachers, and everyone close to her. I hope you can contact me since I would like to talk with each of you in person. I'm not looking for forgiveness, I just want to do things properly."

More positive messages started to appear in the chat, but they still were very divided. Some of them even argued with others about the situation.

"About the message I want to give, I'm far from being the right person to do that now," Aki giggled. "The only thing I can say is that, if you're doing what I did, stop, because you're going to regret it. Sadly, people like me won't understand until something worse happens. I just hope I can make at least one person reflect on their actions."

The messages became even more positive. Aki glanced at me and I nodded at her. She looked at Aya and Tomokazu, who also nodded at her and gave her a thumbs up.

"That's a very good message," Ceruty smiled. "You know, I think my Watchers and I can agree that this was a harder topic than we expected, and you still had the courage to come and clarify the rumors; thank you for that. I know we always seek the truth, but it's different this time. Let's end it here."

The people in the chat became crazy, while Aki let out a deep breath. However, something strange happened to Ceruty's Huma. It glitched out for a split second before returning to normal.

"Sure," Aki smiled. "Thank you for—"

"On second thought, why don't we keep going for a little longer?" Ceruty smirked. It was obvious that her tone had changed, but the Huma was still the same. "Let me see…. Bingo! I found these photos, so I wanted to share them with all of you."

Pictures of a guy appeared on the live stream and covered Aki's hologram and Ceruty's Huma. They all had the same guy in them, whether alone or with more people. They kept appearing as Ceruty hummed in the background until they suddenly disappeared. However, Ceruty's Huma was gone. Instead, it had been replaced with a hologram of the same guy that appeared in the pictures.

"Please welcome the real Ceruty!" the fake Ceruty announced.