Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, Johnny took a moment to collect his thoughts. His fist reached for the plate of tendies, but his knuckles hit only the greasy porcelain plate that remained from his gluttonous feast.
The tendies.
They were gone.
Sorrow coursed through his body. Regret greater than he could ever imagine spread through every fiber of his being. The tendies… in his greed he had forgotten to keep them, save them, savor those morsels of delight.
His choices haunted him and the tendies seemed to whisper: This is what awaits you. A hollow misery of emptiness without tendies. There is nothing. The tendies are gone! You failed us.
A knock at the door.
Delight flooded Johnny's body as his head perked up. Of course! Hope remained. Father left to do the shopping not long ago, and on that list, on that blessed and lovely shopping list, were written those tendies that Johnny had so hopefully desired. He had never forgotten, and neither did father. Father was much unlike the forgetful and sluggish sow that mother was.
He ran out of the kitchen, slamming aside the door, or rather, the wooden fragments that remained after his battle with his bimbo mother. Dashing across the hall with an agility his husk of a leg had never managed before due to his eighteen years of sedentary internet shitposting on the interwebs, vigor burst through his body. He ripped the lock from the door, snarling as drool streamed from his mouth.
"My son," Dad said, his tone overly formal and not matching the tone of this story, "I have returned from the store. Gander at these gifts that I have brought you." His hand, snapping with every movement, removed grocery item after grocery item from a brown bag. "The milk, the eggs, the batter, the pancake mix, and—"
Father's eyes shot open. "My apologies, my son, but it seems I have forgotten one item."
Terror.
Father’s words sent pure terror tingling down Johnny’s spine. He hadn't felt this way since the last time he missed the roll for the special SSS rank waifu he had spent 10,000,000 yennies for. The world crumbled around him, reality itself weeping at the tragedy that was to come.
Johnny swallowed. Although the question his mind sought to ask made him tremble with fear, quake with dread, it was a question that demanded an answer.
“F-father,” his voice croaked. “W-what did you forget...?"
"It is nothing, my son. Just the chicken tenders that you always wante—"
Teeth chattering, Johnny's worst nightmare had manifested into reality. "Father!" He stepped forward and jabbed a plump finger into his father's collarbone. "I have made my demands clear on many occasions, you hairy-chest fiend! I demand my tendies at once!"
His Father frowned, as if thinking over something, but Johnny couldn't care less. He wanted— no—he needed his tendies. He desperately craved them, to taste their juicy deliciousness, to submerge into their chewy and crunchy and avian delight, to drown away the sorrows of life in their magnificence.
Johnny would do anything to attain them.
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His eyes swiveled to his father, who dug through the grocery bag. Unbridled anger tore at Johnny when he looked at that man’s, nay, that traitor's face. The hairy-chested fiend had betrayed them, as his bimbo mother had warned he would all along.
"But I got milk?" his father said, confused.
Indignant rage surged through Johnny, terse breaths seeping through gritting teeth. He pointed back at the unmoving sow. "What happened to mother will now happen to you! KAAA-MEEE-HAA—"
"Son, I am dissapoint." Father kicked Johnny's head, backed off, and slammed his fist into the ground.
Thousands of tendies, as dark as an empty stomach and shrieking agonized cries, erupted from the ravined driveway. They coalesced around father's body, merging with him, forming an impenetrable armor of defiled chicken tenders. "YOU FOOLISH BOY, I ATE THEM ALL ON THE WAY HERE!"
"M-Masaka!” Johnny shouted. “Y-you... I had never expected anyone to fall this low. NO, I WILL NOT BOW DOWN TO YOUR FOUL WAYS. I will, for the friends I have made along the way, I will defeat you. My conquest over mother had granted me a new ability that is totally relevant and definitely not a cheat in any way at all."
Energy gathered around Johnny’s palms. The smell of tendies flooded the area as something bright shone in his heart.
“B-bakana!” Father croaked.
A waifu of crisp and golden chicken tenders spiked from the kitchen floor. Panels tore from the walls, ceiling fixtures ripped away, and the microwave launched from the kitchen top. Every appliance gravitated around the statue. His Chekhov's gun, which was hinted at in an earlier chapter, had finally gone off. "Father, I will vanquish you with the power of tendie justice!"
"Foolish son, you may have defeated your mother by the power of anime and tendies, but you will NEVER DEFEAT ME! FACE THAT WHICH HAUNTS YOU THE MOST! COLD SOGGY TENDIES AMALGAMATION!!!!"
The coldest and soggiest of tendies rose, their stench stomach-curdling and disgusting. It was as if someone had molded the worst of humanity into a giant ball and made that ten times worse. The darkest nightmare. Any man's terror. Lightning struck copper rods from roofs as storms raged across the world at the atrocity father had summoned.
Mother rose from nethery depths, coated in an armor of cold and dead tendies, forming the cruelest and deadliest mech Johnny had ever faced.
With a single strike from that resurrected sow's tainted tendie fist, the golden waifu statue had collapsed.
"My son, do you see now why you were a mere fool?"
Johnny smirked. "No, father. IT IS YOU WHO ARE THE FOOL!"
The waifu launched towards the undead mother, coating her sloppy body, and exploded, rupturing the ground and sending Johnny and Father plunging into a hellish abyss with a smoldering core at the center. Jagged edges surrounded them from all sides as they free-fell towards their doom.
"Father, you, what have you done!!!" Johnny shouted, the agony of killing his mother yet again only dwarfed by the desire to win justice for tendies.
"That which you never had the guts to do, son." Father’s eye gleamed a deep dark blue.
Johnny could not speak. That. That was the man at the root of all the world’s troubles! He should've listened to his mother.
Lava swirled around them, sweet and innocent tendies falling from above into their fiery pits, their lives extinguished prematurely.
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"I WILL NEVER BECOME YOU," Johnny screamed.
"THEN COME FACE ME!!!" father shouted as corrupted tendie tendrils lashed from his spine.
"FATHER!!!!!!!!"
To be continued ==>