The Malhela Lava Fields were a scene straight out of Hawaii: an undulating plain of black magma rumbling its way toward the ocean from the giant volcano at the center of the island. According to Angel, the lava traveled about a hundred miles underground, erupting from smaller shields close to the shore. The ground was solid, but really fucking hot. Here and there, fissures opened like fanged mouths, maws full of tumbling red-hot magma.

"We need to head south," Angel said aloud. "There's some old lava tubes on the periphery of the volcano. That's where we'll find Fire-type Legions."

I was hot-stepping on the creaking lava, prancing to avoid burning my feetsies. “Let me get this straight: you’re taking us into lava tubes. Near an active volcano.”

“Correct. Don’t worry, they’re inactive. Most of them. I used to live there.”

“You… lived in the lava tubes. Do they not have lava in New Mexico, or were you just suicidal?"

She hesitated before replying. Long enough that I got the message.

“Oh. Sorry. Didn’t mean to like, uhh, downplay how you felt, or anything.”

"I’m fine now, don’t worry. My first week here was the hardest," she admitted. "The Malhela Tunnels were my refuge. They’re dangerous, but I figured I had a choice between dying in a badass eruption or being enslaved or murdered so people could watch me suffer. Guess which one I picked?"

"Well, when you put it like that...." I winced as a small fissure cracked in the crust beneath my claws, spewing a whistling plume of steam into the air. Lulu eep’d, leaning away from the heat. "Well, point me to these inactive tubes. This place is a bit too active for my peace of mind."

"Sure. Sorry." Angel gazed levelly at the distant volcano in the same sentimental way most people watched a sunset. "Let's keep going. The entry to the tunnels isn't far."

Angel gently steered, but it was up to me to pick our way across the roiling black fields. It felt weird to admit, but I was getting used to carrying the girls around. Angel was a pro rider, guiding with her legs and one hand. That was both reassuring and uncomfortable. Reassuring, because I could trust she wouldn't be a liability if I suddenly had to jump or break into a sprint. Uncomfortable, because country folk weren't usually very sentimental when it came to beings of the four-legged variety. Angel knew intellectually that I was a man trapped inside the body of a sexy shark-dragon-panther-squid, but emotionally? I still wondered if she saw me as an animal.

We headed for cooler terrain shaded by young palm forest. Angel directed me off the blackened soil into the trees, following a narrow trail to the entrance of a calcified lava tube. As soon as we reached the mouth of it, I smelled opportunity – and danger. Legions of every size and level had passed through this tunnel, with scents ranging from earthy and pleasant to musty and foul. I dropped my snout and began to sniff everything. Multiple translucent trails appeared, criss-crossing near the entry to the caverns.

"How the hell did you survive in here?" I asked her, astonished. "This place is crawling with Legions."

"I covered my skin in swamp mud and relied on traps." Angel leaned out and to the right to sign, gripping with her thighs. "I didn't have the resources to make traps that can catch Legions, but I was able to drive them off. Even killed a few. Some of them might actually still be in here. I left a cache with traps to protect it."

"Are you some kind of wizard?"

"Engineer. Pretty much the same thing." After some consideration, Angel dropped to the ground again, and drew her bow. "Get ready to soak fire attacks."

"Why aren't you staying on my back?" I lashed my tail, snorting a cloud of dust along the ground.

"Because I can't ride and shoot a bow at the same time." She had to tuck the thing under her arm to sign. "A rifle would be a different story. God knows I spent enough time riding fences and shooting coyotes when I was ali... back home on the ranch. Like I said, bows are a different skillset."

"Lulu... I'm going to regret this. I KNOW I'm going to regret this." The memory of the crippling injury was all too fresh in my mind as I went to my Inventory, selected the rifle, and sighed.

"Ooh?" Lulu leaned out to watch.

"Put your bow in your inventory and hold out your hands," I said to Angel.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

"What? Why?" Angel signed in brief confusion before she complied.

I folded the rifle into her waiting arms, then sort of regurgitated all the ammo I'd picked up. My inventory lightened by 10%.

Angel looked down at the weapon and blinked several times.

"I couldn't give it to you at the camp," I said gruffly. "Not with everyone leering at you. Got it from one of those loot boxes I opened, so... uhh... happy birthday. "

She stroked the polished dark wood, tested all the different moving parts, then sighted down the empty barrel into the cave. Something in Angel changed in that moment. She straightened up, lost the hunch in her shoulders. When she turned back to me, her expression was complex. Wonder, relief, a little suspicion, a little fatigue from the long months spent battling her way with stone picks and spears.

“You okay?” I asked her.

She slung the gun over her shoulder, then threw her arms around my neck. A full-blown, chest-pressed-against-my-body hug.

"Noodles! You're amazing!" She let go of me to sign, her eyes bright with emotion. “Thank you so much! My God, I don’t know how I can possibly repay you for this.”

“Don’t sweat it,” I said. “Not like I can use it. All I ask is that you keep the bad guys off my ass with it.”

“Of course I will.” She flashed me a shy, grateful glance before looking back down to her new toy. “If only I’d had one of these earlier-“

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You'd have taken out any Legion you wanted." I was trying not to feel tense. For some reason, I felt like I was about to be stabbed in the back. Kind of ridiculous, given she’d been nothing but trustworthy. It had to be some instinct from my life before the game. One that probably wasn’t about Angel at all. “Anyway, now you’ve got your boomstick, how about you get back in the saddle? I’m worried about you being on foot.”

Already walking, Angel loaded her rifle with the absent ease of an expert. She didn’t even look down. “At this range? I’ll be fine.”

“Seriously, kid. I can smell in five dimensions. Maybe six. There’s some bigass monsters in here.”

“I’m not a kid, and I’m better with this than you think I am. Just watch my back.”

“I will. But give me a sec. Need to do something in my menu.”

Angel paused, and turned to look at me as I went into my HUD and spent some more ability points. I picked Poison Cloud and White Noise, gaining my first pure Psionic and Poison abilities:

Poison Cloud: Release a toxic cloud that deals damage over time and Poisons susceptible enemies. White Noise: Emit a disorienting blast of Psionic force that savages Gladiator concentration-based abilities and deals +200% damage against Earth, Blood, and Air-type elementals.

“Okay. There.” I confirmed the abilities and felt them consolidate. “White Noise is good against Earth Air, and Blood, Poison Cloud against Air.”

“Good idea,” Angel signed, turning back into the caverns. She took point. Lulu burbled with concern as we padded along slowly after her, eyes forward.

“You like her, huh?” I asked the slime.

“Yuuuu!” Lulu’s voice bounced off the tunnel walls. Angel didn’t notice, but I winced.

“Well, that’s great… but try and keep it down, okay?”

I felt Lulu sag a little, but her cooing voice dropped to little more than a whisper. “Oo-huu.”

As the darkness swallowed us, the slime shrunk back and began to shiver. My thermal vision kicked in, mapping the tunnel in monochrome. Angel paused to light a torch, which I accepted with a tentacle and held up so she could shoot. She seemed to know the tunnels well, because she unerringly led us through the twisting confines to a crossroads. As I looked down the tunnel to my right, my skin ruffled. Couldn’t see anything down there, but…

“That’s the trapped corridor,” Angel voiced, pointing ahead.

“Tell me about it.” I backed away, nostrils flexing in agitation. “Gives me the willies.”

“You must have a crazy good Instinct stat.” She squinted at the tunnel. “Huh. I could have sworn I disarmed this one.”

“No. No, it’s armed, believe me.” A little blinking orange icon had appeared in the corner of my HUD: an animal trap. I really did have some kind of trap sense. Neat.

Angel picked up a jagged piece of stone and threw it at the ground about six feet from us. The rock hit a tripwire toggle concealed under the dirt. There was a small ‘bong’ as the tension of the tripwire cut.

A spike-studded cross made from two logs dropped from the ceiling and smashed to the ground. Lulu squealed in terror.

“Well, fuck me.” I blinked a couple of times. “You made that?”

“Sure did.” Angel regarded it with satisfaction.

“Gladiators get recipes for building this kind of shit, huh?”

“No, but I spent my time down here learning how to hack the building system to make all kinds of things.” Angel went over and kicked the splintered logs. “I’m not proud of it, but trapping’s how I survived.”

“Why are you not proud of this? It’s awesome. I dub it the Spiky Crucifix of Ocular Deconstruction.”

Angel paused to scratch her head. “Guess I feel like I should be more… I dunno. Honorable, or something.”

I was about to ask her how a human gladiator could possibly advance in this game honorably when there was a roar from the tunnel to my left. I whirled with a growl.

“Shit – that’s a Skarpo! Give me the torch!” Angel gestured for it.

I handed it to her and did my best to block the hallway while she rapidly upgraded the [Crude Torch] to a [Standing Torch] and placed it down.

“Ready?” She set the rifle against her shoulder.

“Born ready. And if my name isn’t Monster Truck Noodles the Fourth-“

Before I finished, a bright sphere of light appeared at the end of the tunnel, hurtling toward us like a meteor. Bright, blazing… hot.

Lava. Lava pitched at the three of us with the speed and precision of a fucking baseball.