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I am Just a Farmer
Making Terrible Decisions

Making Terrible Decisions

Maybe it was just the general stench of the undead and a life of fertilizing fields that had dulled his sense of smell but he seriously needed to get his nose checked if he had to come right up on a pile of bloody corpses to actually react. At least he assumed it was a pile of corpses. Much of it was mangled meat and bone but whatever was killed here was not of man. Or at least not all of it. Sure he could see some undead here and there both feasting on the rot or obliterated in the fighting but that rib cage was too long and there were some scales here and there. There were even some large fangs and he was sure that large twitching eye with a slitted pupil didn’t belong to a man at least.

Chains clanked again and he saw a large scaly arm twitching. He sighed softly and cautiously stepped around the undead. Whatever this thing was, it was obviously kept here against its will, perhaps as sustenance for these corpsemen. He had half a mind to lop off the heads off the ones in here but his wits told him otherwise. He wasn’t perceived as a threat to them, and even if he could slay a few of them, he was no nephalem. Hordes of undead could kill him as easily as the next man. Best he could do was get out of here now and let others know of the dangers of this place, perhaps help true heroes with this work. There was another jangle but he paid it no mind as he crouched down, trying to hold onto the meager contents of his stomach as he tried to find anything of value.

After a bit of digging he found it to be some sort of serpent thing. It was by far the largest snake he had ever seen at first but as he stepped around the piles of putrefaction he found that they weren’t all from one being but multiple of the same species. Some looked like a masterful melding of man and snake, torso and up moderately human with arms and strong shoulders but the head of a snake, some even hooded while the lower half, or three quarters more like, was all snake. The few fangs and scales he could grab that weren’t bent seemed like a nice little souvenir to him. Better than lugging around a skull at least. Some of these scales were a bit difficult to pull off. And where those fangs getting bigger?

He didn’t think he could be frozen in fear again after dealing with the undead but the face of an angry snake baring its fangs. With a shaky voice and hand still upon its bloody head he spoke, “Sorry I uhh.. I thought you were dead.” He slowly pulled his hand back and it hissed loudly, the wrangling of those chains coming back up. Though the muck covered up some of this creature it was clearly chained up like the others, even a heavy band of something around its snout. Daltyn quickly looked around in fear as he noticed the other undead began to take notice. He let out a hoarse whisper, “Hey stop they ain’t finished eating and something tells me they like it when their meat wiggles so stop squirming so much!” Why did he even care? This thing was probably some mad beast prone to murder men in different circumstances….

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It seemed as if the snake man understood, though prone and chained to the floor it stilled and the curious undead went back to their eating. It flicked its tongue in mild irritation as Daltyn moved around the reptilian creature, messing with the chains in a much quieter manner trying to either break the chains or find the lock. He still had that odd key on him but he doubted it would work, the little thing looking far too fancy for this… lock. He frowned softly as he saw how the lock looked farrr too fancy for these grimy chains. “No… it couldn’t be. This… this is just…” He quieted himself and pulled out the key. There was a incredulous click as the lock popped and he slipped it off. Caught off guard at the mere chances of the stars aligning for this little thing he didn’t quite react fast enough to grab the chains that had begun to slip off the serpent in a loud metallic chorus.

Soft groans quickly called out, some standing up slowly, others jerking over to look at a very nervous Daltyn. “Uhhh… its fine guys just go back to your…. Lunch? Midnight snack?” He tried to wave them off, shoo them away, like a nanny the kids didn’t fear and was just as successful. Thankfully the serpent was smarter than the farmer, but whatever plan it had in mind it didn’t quite tell the man as it suddenly yanked him off his feet and slithered away with him screaming.

To this day he swears they were manly screams.