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Chapter 32

I ran my fingertips through my hair and stared deeper at my reflection, descending into that fractally complex pattern of veins. The erg flowed and pulsed beneath my fingers, rising to meet the patterns in them, matching the sworls of my fingerprints, forming even more complex patterns within the completeness of my body, the unity of motion and thought flaring energy to life.

I stared deeper and the world dug into itself, forming those reflections of energy and light and in that pattern, I felt the pattern of the world itself but on a smaller scale, repeating and echoing. There was a beauty to the erg, but it filled me with a terror that roiled out my belly, leaving me gasping in its entrancement. I tried to pull back, tried to deactivate my erg sight, but they wouldn’t leave me be, they pulled me onward, into that coiling nest.

A screaming panic rose in the back of my throat but no sound escaped as I fell into that world of understanding. Slowly I came to see the order of the erg, of the way that it rose and fell, the way that it pulsed with my breath, with my hunger, with my blood, entwining itself with everything that generated life in my body, the splitting of cells, the decaying of skin, the transformation of myself in every bleeding moment. Yet, despite the connection of myself to the exterior world, it was not the air that moved the erg, it was my act of breathing itself, though the air did contain erg.

I watched the flow of that erg, breathed in and distributed through my body, even as my lungs bellowed out more air, air that was richer in erg than when it entered, as if though the processes of my body were merely a farm to generate more of that energy. I flexed my arms and the erg surged through them, until finally I pushed away from the mirror and forced my eyes shut. Even with eyes closed, I could still see the erg floating around me. I fell backwards onto the ground feeling it solidly beneath, and as I tore my eyes away from the mirror, I finally was able to bring my erg sight to an end.

I cracked one eye open, glancing forward and letting out a relieved sigh as the world seemed returned to normal. Slowly I rose up to my feet and once again examined myself with normal sight. Somehow, I looked even worse, but yet I felt a sense that something had clicked into place, some unconscious realization that might help me as I went forward. A more important realization struck me though, that I needed a shower.

Fortunately, my armor had kept most of the worst parts of the battle and the transit off of me, and so I was able to focus more on the luxuriating warmth rather than on actually getting clean. The water rinsed me bare and I found tension finally starting to seep out of my shoulders and my arms and my legs and my back and I practically melted to the floor as I finally was able to relax, if even for a moment.

I wrapped myself in a towel and stepped out into the main room to get dressed. Seren was waiting for me, sitting on the bed, and raised an eyebrow as they noted my state of undress. “Well, hey there,” they said. “This is a little forward, but I’m not complaining.”

For the first time I was able to keep my stammering to a minimum. “This is my room.” I was able to, at least briefly, maintain an air of serious critique. “I should be free to be as naked as I desire in my own room.”

“Fine, fine, be as naked as you like. Again, I’m not complaining.” Seren grinned at me. “Those are some nice shoulders, after all.”

I grabbed my clothes and stepped back into the bathroom, calling out from behind the closed door. “I guess this repayment for my looking at you during the meeting.” It didn’t take me long to get dressed again and I stepped back out, finding a chair to sit on. “So, why did you stop by?”

“Just wanted to check in, see how you’re doing. Maybe share a meal, do some chatting.” Seren winked at me, and I couldn’t help but offer a shy smile in return.

I grabbed a couple protein bars, tossing one over to them before unwrapping my own. “Honestly, I’ve been better. Been worse too. I finished off the design of the autorifles.”

“Autorifle?”

I considered for a moment, then pulled up my schema list and called up the help for the autorifle. After concentrating for a moment longer, I flicked the screen over towards them, allowing both of us to read the entry.

AUTORIFLE

Autofiring rifle, has been customized with erg sights and programmed fire priority. Taps into local erg net for power.

Type: Weapon

Construction Details

Skill: Ranged Weaponry, Automated Tools

Facility: Assembler

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Materials: Metal Ingot x6, Pipe Joiner x6, Hinge Joiner x4, Cog x2, Focus Crystal x3

The most basic of automated defenses, but perhaps the most vital. The walls must hold, they must hold or we will all fall, the sea comes and it must break it must break!

“Those notes will never not freak me out,” Seren said softly. I agreed with a nod and reached a hand forward to take one of theirs, giving a squeeze. They smiled at me, then continued. “But this seems real useful, if a bit resources heavy.”

“It’s going to tap into the erg network pretty heavily too.” I leaned back in the chair and began rapidly devouring the protein bar. It had been too long since I last ate and my stomach growled as I took it down bite by bite. “We’re going to need to get food sooner rather than later. This just isn’t sustainable.” I leaned forward again, resting my elbows on my knees. “If you don’t mind me asking, what were you eating back in the town?”

“Mix of hunting, some gardening, and canned foods. We were running low when you broke us out, which you can tell by looking at everyone.” They sighed and laid back on the bed. “Chad and his crew also got the most food, forcing us to ration pretty heavily, and we all gave up some food to make sure that the kids got enough.”

“That sounds rough.” The words felt so insufficient in my mouth. Sure, I had faced my own trials during the time since integration, but it sounded like they had faced so much worse. Of course, they probably did better than others considering how many people must have died.

I wondered how many people were still alive in the world, and made a note to talk to the librarian about speeding up the Survey Chamber. My thoughts drifted back to campus, to my former friends, to Sam, and wondered how they were holding up. If they were holding up at all. The weight of it fell on my shoulders and I trembled under the thoughts, looking down at the floor.

Seren’s hands on my shoulders pulled me out of my thought spiral, and they tilted me back just a bit before crouching down to eye-level. “It’s a lot, I know,” they said. “I don’t know all the details of what’s on your shoulders, but I do know that it’s a lot.” They smiled gently as I nodded without speaking. “I’ve not been in this exact situation before, but I’ve definitely felt overloaded in the past, and I’ll give you the advice that my therapist gave me.

“Focus on one thing at a time. Don’t make a list, don’t try to think about everything you need to do, because that’ll explode on you too quickly.” They grinned again. “You’re a worrier, I recognize that, but what you need to do is narrow down your focus and not worry about everything else. Jen and Artemis know what they’re doing, and there are other folks here who can help with organizing. You’re not alone, so don’t try to do everything alone.

“One thing. What’s the one thing you need to do next?”

I pushed away all of my other concerns, not burying them this time, just setting them aside for the moment, and narrowed down on the one thing I needed to do next. “Queue up materials. I want to deploy as many autorifles as possible, which will mean building them and expanding the walls enough to field another ergon condenser.”

“Let’s go queue up some materials then. No reason to worry about that other stuff until you have the autorifles finished.” Seren rose to their feet and offered a hand, which I gratefully accepted.

“I’m not sure why you’re being so nice to me, though.”

Seren laughed warmly and pulled me up to stand. “Well, the main reason is that you sounded like you meant what you said in the meeting, and what you said sounded good to me. Secondary reason is that you’re cute.”

I was stammering again as they led the way out of the room.

Now that I was a bit more back in a stable mind frame, I noticed the numbers of people milling around on the third floor. There weren’t too many in my hallway, but the other was much more raucous. Doors were left open and hammocks strung across the hallway, even as bedding was spread out to offer more places to rest. Everyone looked showered, and that made a massive difference in their appearance and disposition. I too could understand the value of such a thing, and so I smiled and waved before descending.

Upon reaching the bottom floor, I noticed a few of the machines down there already in use, so I made a note to further expand facilities here. I also made a note to get some way of gathering from the mines automatically without having to walk all the way over to grab their output. Then I sighed and realized that I didn’t have enough resources on hand, and walked all the way to grab the output of the mines. The autorifles didn’t need any wood, so I was able to get by with just ore, sent into the smelter.

For this initial patch, I decided to focus on making unattuned autorifles, messing with different elements could be a “later” thing. One thing at a time, after all. While waiting for the ore to smelt, I grabbed a seat in the lobby with Seren. Before I could speak, my comms crackled and Artemis spoke. “I got eyes on the town, no sign of them moving out, just some guards keeping watching and most everyone poured into the center. I can track their erg signatures with this thing.”

I thank Artemis for the update and relayed the information to Seren. “You’ve cracked his aura of invulnerability,” they said. “Doubts are going to start seeping in, unless he cleans things up. We might be seeing some other people trying to escape from his clutches, but we might also see spies heading this way.”

“I’ll have to talk with everyone about this. Hopefully we can get some more defenders, and from there, be able to mount a proper defense of this place.” I rubbed the back of my neck and grimaced. “He’s real strong, like scarily so. But all he really has is that strength, and the strength of one person isn’t enough to survive in this world. But it might be enough to destroy us.”

“Then we’ll just have to make sure that he breaks on our walls.” I started briefly as they quoted the system note and they flashed me a grin in response. After a moment, it sunk in and I found myself grinning in return.

“We’ll keep fighting,” I said. “So that the world might be mended.”

Their eyes twinkled briefly with amusement. “Umbasa.”