At grandma's... everything is allowed... this is her motto.

I was happy to find my things that she had carefully kept. My plastic farm animals, my farm, my theater and my characters, my santons and all the odds and ends we had made together. I loved spending my vacations at her place and I didn't have Mom on my back all the time. I could watch TV late and have my lunch tray in the couch. Anyway, it was great.

I had a list of my girlfriends that I had left behind.

I took my G and dialed their numbers on social networks. I wanted to see them again and party in the city with them and hit a canvas and sleep at each other's houses.

But all of them had a boyfriend and had plans or were about to go on vacation.

Only Julie was happy to hear from me and we planned to go into town.

I took the subway and Mom asked me not to go out alone at night and to stay at Julie's house. Mom agreed because she knew that I had the strength of a boy, that I was reasonable and that Julie had an adult boyfriend to look after us.

I had planned to sleep at her place and we met when we got off the subway.

We went to break the crust on Mercière Street in the St. Jean district and then, from traboules to traboules, we went to the movie theaters to see a romance/adventure film.

Then we went to have a dessert.

The area was lit and it was nice but I had forgotten that it was the music festival. And there were lots of artists in the streets and lots of tapas and snacks in the neighborhood.

We lingered until 2 o'clock in the morning and, scalded by the drinks, we took again a cab which dropped us in Villeurbanne, finally not so far but on the road between Lyon and the city.

She lived with her mom in a double apartment and we finish the evening on the terrace. Julie and her boyfriend completely drunk. Me, I could drink, but I was an abyss. Nothing... not even scalded...

It was sad a little... well not too much but still... I felt that it was a human thing that I had lost.

The next day... a hangover... for them... and I didn't want to go into the darkness... not tonight. But the result was that I was hungry like a dragon... for breakfast.

I was going to blow my budget at the baker's again.

In the morning, I went to the bakery alone and bought for 10 people when there are 5 of us.

Finally, I had a portion for 5 people... sausage rolls... and they had croissants...

I ate more than a liter of Nesquick cocoa. A whole jar of Nutella and 10 sausage rolls. (fricadelle inside).

The parents were afraid of my appetite. They wondered where I put all this stuff.

Julie: "Sylvia is able to eat more, you know?"

Even her boyfriend was surprised.

Then we got some fresh air and on a park bench table, Julie and her boyfriend were arm wrestling.

Julie: "You want to try against him? If you win, I'll pay for the ice cream, since you offered the croissants. But you're not hungry anymore? I hope so...".

"You've forgotten who I am, Julie... And I'm not afraid of your boyfriend! With hunting and my training..."

Julie : "Watch out, he's a very good tennis player"

We settled down and I asked, "What if I lose?"

"No ice cream, diet!"

"Stop with diet this, diet that... you know I have a dragon's appetite..."

"Everybody knows that, Sylvia! But we're all jealous of you for that! We don't know your secret, but I intend to find out...we've gotten fat just by looking at the pastries."

I took the wrist of Roan, a name of Basque origin.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

The next moment, he was collapsed on the bench. Impossible to raise my arm.

"But what are you! I've never felt such strength! he cried.

Two of them tried, but my arm was like a hydraulic cylinder.

"Here's where the meat goes!"

We all laughed and, after a shopping session, we had an ice cream together and I slowly walked back to the subway to go back to grandma's house.

Mom was waiting for me and I was just in time for lunch. A good Maïté-style recipe, a cookery presenter that no one has any idea about anymore, but a specialist in good Burgundian and regional cuisine.

Shaikh ate his salad and mom made a face.

The eels flew straight into my belly and even the live eels left in the kitchen.

Mom caught me with the tail still sticking out of my mouth.

"You disgust me, Sylvia... "

And she had to vomit...disgusted...

Then Grandma came between me and her: "At least you know how to appreciate good food."

Yep... the eel had passed...

Mom didn't insist, "I'm wasting my time. ...." Then she turned around angrily, "How do you expect a boy to kiss you one day?"

Grandma: "The fishmonger has a son who is very handsome," she said to my mother to make fun of her."

"But I have Dany!... "Shit, it came out by itself...

We laughed.

"Sylvia, if you're sick, you had it coming, and don't come complaining!"

Then she told grandma that she had to hide the food, sometimes even in the toilet flush.

With my strong sense of smell, I would find the sweets, chocolates and especially the meat she had just bought.

One day she thought of putting a lock on the fridge.

But I was disappointed with my friends who had abandoned me.

Mom could see how sad I was and she sat down next to me on the couch and brushed my hair. I had my head resting on her shoulder.

She gave me kisses on my untangled hair, "You know, that's life. You can count friends on the fingers of your hand... They're doing their own thing now and all they think about is going out with their guys. I used to be like that before I met Dad too. Girlfriends, parties and parties, all of that disappeared once I started high school. It's the natural order of things.

It's because you, unlike other people, are passionate, you have goals in life and you know where your priorities are. That's why, Dad, you've learned so much. And it's also proof that you're growing up."

Mom, what if I have a child too early? Can I keep it?

Rosette: "Yes, but having a child too early is hard, very hard. It means giving up your life, your goals and your studies for good. No more going out with friends, no more leisure time, and studying under these conditions, you have to be very strong, and... my poor girl, already these questions... A life is priceless too, but you must also think and take responsibility for raising it. I won't always be there and neither will grandma."

I sighed, hoping for an answer or a solution that I hadn't thought of... But it was obvious...

I thought first and foremost of Victoria...

Mom, "What if I had had a little sister... or half a sister of Daddy? What would you have done?

Mom stood up and looked me in the eyes...

"Sylvia, why all these questions suddenly... Did you do something??"

"No, no. but it's in my head, like a hunch... and it's bothering me..."

Rosette: "You don't have nightmares anymore. Right?"

"No, it has calmed down..."

Mom calmed down and Grandma came and sat down next to us and put coffee and sweets on the table.

Instinctively, they ended up in my stomach without even looking at them.

"Sylvia, I knew your daddy well and I don't think he would have given me such an insult, but if he did, I would do everything I could to keep you together."

"Thank you, mom... you're sweet..."

Rosette looked up at the ceiling, as if she was questioning her husband's ghost with her eyes.

Then she gave me a little kiss on the head while caressing my hair.

Mamy: "Like mother, like daughter"!

I was relieved but also worried... how could I do it? How to bring back my little one? I was torn and I wanted to confess everything to mom... even on my knees... but it was impossible. A tear fell on the floor, which didn't escape granny who didn't say anything.

I was testing the markers and during my excursions in the countryside, I buried a stone deep in a local cave, very difficult to access without a climbing rope.

Mom went back to India and I stayed here with grandma for another 15 days.

Mom gave me some recommendations to respect and she trusted me. I was not to disappoint her otherwise... the rifle... confiscated...

Then, in the evening, granny sat down next to me in the kitchen. We ate on the little table between the three of us but grandpa wanted to watch the Tour de France on TV and we left him alone.

"Honey,... I know something is bothering you... I'm old but not stupid yet. And I've had a great life. But when I see you, something has happened. You're not the same anymore. You have a sadness that reminds me of the loss of a loved one. Is that your daddy? Do you miss him so much?"

"I'll be crying for grandma... Grandma... grandma... that's horrible.... I can't say it...

Then I had a lot of tears... and I let go out of stupidity or weakness. "Victoria... my little victoria...."

Grandma stiffened and understood that something terrible had happened to me...

She also cried and she took her handkerchief from her apron, a new one and she wiped my tears and took my head against her chest.

"Victoria... Is this your child? "

I didn't dare to say anything anymore... only tears were falling and grandma could see it.

She understood.

"Poor little..."

"Grandma", I straightened up my head full of tears, not wanting to say anything. But I knew she knew how to keep a secret.

"Sylvia... you know we love you...all of us... you are and always will be my little girl."

A moment later, I got up and drank a Coke, to get back a little.

She took my hands between hers at the table.

"I'm not interested in the circumstances... I'm not here to judge you... I am a mother and you will be or you already are. But you can count on me, sweetie..."

"Thank you grandma..."

She smiled at me a little and despite all her wrinkles, she remained beautiful.

"Do you know who the father is?..."

"Yes, I do... It's Ori... "but I couldn't hold back my tears any longer thinking about him.

"Does he know???"

"Ori... He never knew... he was murdered!... the whole family was murdered...."

Emerence raised her head..., her smile wiped off her face and her hands clasped in front of her mouth before the horror...

"Sylvia... are these your nightmares?"

I nodded my head that yes...

"My poor little... " and she hugged me very tightly, staring into the void, as if distant memories that had fled were resurfacing.

"You say nothing to protect us????"

I nodded...

"It doesn't make sense but I can see you're in a lot of pain...If that's true, then it's terrible..."

A huge weight had just lifted from my heart... but it was hard.

"Is the child safe?" Grandma asked.

I nodded.

"They don't know, do they...?"

Yes, grandma...

"It's in his family...?"

Yes....

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Listen, sweetie, ... There's no hurry then... But you have to be strong. I'm going to help you get even stronger. "

"But how?"

I don't know yet, but let me find out...