In the morning, an amused giggling noise woke me up.

Groggily, I stretched out my senses. But there was nothing there…?

A hand plucked me from Yulin’s shoulder.

“So this is where you are, my dear little sibling,” a light and laughing female voice said. The voice belonged to someone who looked like a young woman. She had thick brown hair tied in a high bun, darkly tanned skin, and bright sea blue eyes. Her large lips were pulled in a mischievous smirk. She wore a functional navy blue robe over her curvy body, and around her thin waist was a belt with many pouches of medicines.

“E-Elder sister Harl?” I transformed back into a human, rubbing my eyes. I yawned. “Wha’s happening?”

“You silly little snail.” She gently smacked my forehead with her palm. “I leave for just a few centuries, then come back to find you gone from your cave! What happened to my lazy Pipin? Who is this shameless snail who left home to sleep with young human boys? Did I raise this kind of child?” Despite the implications of her words, her tone was perversely gleeful.

I sent Harl a flat look.

I was too lazy to explain the situation, so I just sent over my memories of the past few years. Harl hummed thoughtfully and sent Yulin an appraising look. “He has a spot of potential, I see.” But then she turned her eyes back to me, and grinned. “So my little Pipin’s type is handsome and hardworking men!”

Ughh.

I turned back into a snail and went back to sleep, ignoring Harl’s laughter.

Harl isn’t my elder sister by birth. To be exact, she is more like my master or caretaker.

Harl is one of the most ancient immortals in the Heavenly Realm. Her original form is a sea dragon, and a long time ago she cultivated to the highest peak of all, an Imperial Sovereign. In many lower realms, she is a deity of water, healing, and storms. Her hobby is medicine. For millions of years Harl has researched and refined cures for billions of diseases. In the process, she raised and experimented with the natural materials of various magical beasts. Recently in the last half million years she had begun breeding snails of my kind, the Seven Treasures Pipa Snail. Snails of my species are natural filters of spiritual energy so we’re highly prized pet beasts and tools. We can naturally cultivate to eighth rank in a normal environment. In a good environment, ninth rank is even possible.

From some strange circumstance – perhaps because the spring I was placed in was especially rich in power, perhaps through some interference of fate – this lowly snail me was even able to rise to the rank of a God.

Harl, seeing this rare occurrence, didn’t take advantage of me. She granted me freedom and took me in as her younger sibling, giving me books to familiarize myself with the world and inviting me to the Heavenly Realm to meet fellow gods.

I never took her up on her offers. The thought of leaving my sheltered life scared me. I would rather continue my existence as I had been before becoming an immortal, simply sleeping and breathing and sleeping some more.

That is, until I met Yulin.

Yulin left before the Jade Sky cultivators woke, heading early to the competition grounds. As an unaffiliated cultivator he had to participate in preliminary elimination rounds. The elders of the sects looking for recruits only cared for the winners, so I cheered Yulin on inside my heart. He absolutely had to win!

The sun was just breaking out of the horizon, color blossoming in the sky. Yulin looked up and watched solemnly. He stroked my shell once. When the sun fully climbed rose past the horizon, he resumed his steps.

We met several other cultivators on the way to the arena. All of them were older than Yulin, but none had cultivation greater than his. Even so, I saw the keenness of experience in their eyes. This was something Yulin, who had lived in a farming village his whole life, didn’t have.

Yulin arrived at the grand arena. It was an enormous, red, palatial-looking building at the top of some stone steps. Yulin climbed the steps and walked past the red wooden pillars of the front entryway. The entry lobby of the arena was also impressive, the hanging lanterns casting golden light on the dark wood floor and the gilded red walls. Yulin stood in one of the reception lines to receive his match information, then sat down on an expensive-looking carved wooden bench at the edge of the large room. It would be about two hours until the time for his match.

I snuck out of my shell and patted his cheek with my eye tentacle. You can do it! I tried to convey to him.

Yulin smiled. Drawing his legs up onto the bench, he closed his eyes and entered meditation, not wasting these next two hours.

The time for the match swiftly came.

The Lamane Arena was shaped like a gigantic and tall siheyuan, or courtyard house. The four connected buildings surrounded the enormous inner courtyard where four platforms stood. Besides the entry building at the southern end, the three side buildings had five open floors for viewing. The first floor was open air, allowing for crowds to stand and pack together. Right now, there were about two hundred observers lingering in the shade of the building. While this was a fairly large number, this audience could only fill up a speck of space in Lamane Arena’s first floor. One could see lush green gardens, benches, and walkways beyond these people and the red pillars. Each of the floors above grew more and more luxurious, and were separated into private rooms; the exclusive viewing spots on the final fifth floor were meant for especially esteemed guests. I sensed a handful of advanced cultivators on the third floor, but only one had come forward to watch the preliminary matches.

Following the receptionist’s directions, Yulin entered the courtyard and headed to the southwestern platform. A few cultivators were milling around the edges of the arenas, some of them avidly watching close up, others mingling in groups and chatting leisurely. I heard the loud cackling of a young boy, and a speedy figure dashed in the way. The boy gleefully looked backwards at the faces of the angry cultivators behind him, and didn’t pay attention to where he was about to crash into Yulin.

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It would be bad if Yulin were to get hurt by this careless guy, so I unhesitatingly used my spiritual force to trip him. The boy’s face distorted with panic as he fell and rolled on the ground like a rice ball.

“Ow ow ow ow…” he whined pitifully, crocodile tears leaking at the corners of his phoenix eyes. Crying from just that type of thing, I didn’t believe it. This pretty boy unexpectedly already had a mid-level fifth rank cultivation, how could he be hurt from such a little fall? I disdainfully swept my eye tentacles away.

“Mikael!” Came an angry roar. A big bear-like guy stomped forward, fury written all over his face. He picked up the pretty boy by the scruff of his neck, like a mother cat grabbing her mischievous kitten. “You, you…” The man trembled with rage.

“Ehehe.” With a sheepish expression, Mikael pressed the tips of his index fingers together. “Oopsies?”

“You dumbass!”

With a vaguely annoyed look, Yulin ignored them and continued on. Ah, my cultivation-minded little Yulin had no interest in wordly dramas. I, on the other hand, happily observed the bear-like man shaking the pretty boy around as if trying to make something fall out.

Actually, many things fell out.

Talismans, trinkets, cultivation pills…

“Nooo, my hard-earned treasure!”

“What treasure!! You stole them!!”

The crowd of cultivators which Mikael had been running from shuffled forward, each cultivator picking up their belongings with disgruntled faces. Mikael pouted and looked mournfully at the disappearing pile of loots.

“That’s it,” the bear-like man growled. “We’re going back. Right now.”

“What?!” Mikael’s wide eyes snapped back to the bear-like man. “You can’t do that! I’m supposed to compete!”

Scoffing, the man replied, “Not anymore! We’ll see what Master has to say about your behavior. Honestly, this little thief…” With that, he dragged the whining pretty boy away. Goodbye, my entertainment.

I lazily yawned and settled back into my shell. Yulin’s opponent had already arrived; he was only a third-rank cultivator, an older adult with sallow leathery skin and a wiry frame. His aura had no impression one way or the other. This kind of man hadn’t encountered any life-or-death battles. While he may have more practical combat experience than Yulin, I was confident there was no way he could win.

Yulin stepped on the stage. All of a sudden, he peeled me off his shoulder. E? Why are you getting rid of me?! I wriggled intensely in the air as Yulin took off his sword and put us both on the floor.

He stepped forward, leaving me to watch his back, and stood in a basic horse stance.

Ah. Right.

Since Yulin had only been punching for all of his life, he didn’t actually know how to use his sword. And having a snail on him would probably just get in the way.

Still, I felt sad over being peeled off like loose skin. I sullenly bubbled on the floor.

When the match started, Yulin and his opponent engaged in a short staring battle. Eventually his opponent moved first. The man darted in quickly, feinting in order to lure Yulin into a vulnerable position, but Yulin merely stood there and waited like a toad. The opponent feinted here and there, still trying to see if Yulin would attack. When nothing happened, the man dove in for the kill.

As soon as the man came in range, Yulin blew him away with a single punch. It felt very heroic.

I happily waved at Yulin when he came to pick me up. The encounter – I couldn’t seriously call it a fight – lasted for only a few seconds, so we were done before everyone else in our bracket. Yulin’s next preliminary match was tomorrow, so we were free for the entire day.

Yulin started walking to the Arena exit. On the way, several cultivators were looking at him with strange eyes. They didn’t look impressed? Even though my Yulin is so strong, you’re not impressed? What a tough crowd! I shamelessly listened in on a faraway conversation from the third floor.

The eighth-level cultivator who had been watching the preliminary matches muttered, “Ai, his cultivation is frightening, but he doesn’t know the first thing about applying it. I don’t understand how that’s even possible.”

“Maybe he’s some rich young master who stuffed himself full of pills,” a careless voice said from the back, overlapping with the sounds of mahjong dominoes clacking on the board.

“No.” A sigh. “He’s clearly a peasant.”

“A dead dragon collapsed on his house and he drank a potion made of its blood. Oh, or a Goddess descended from the sky and blessed him with a secret cultivation technique.”

The eighth-rank cultivator said to himself, “Hm… though perhaps it isn’t all bad. He’s a clean slate. With proper teaching…”

“Yo!” A cheery voice sounded as soon as Yulin entered the main lobby of Lamane Arena. “Very impressive, young man! My, the youths of today have so much potential! Hardworking young men sure are the best!”

Yulin glanced sharply at the source of the voice while I immediately froze.

The owner of this voice was a tan-skinned, brown-haired, big-chested woman with a pretty face and a mysterious aura. She was exactly my elder sister Harl.

Yulin obviously didn’t know who she was. He tried to ignore her, but Harl fell into step with him as he walked. Annoyed, Yulin tried walking faster, but Harl kept up his pace. I waved my eye tentacles frantically at Harl from Yulin’s shoulder and asked her spiritually, ‘What are you doing, elder sister?!’

‘Oh, just felt like I’d have some fun,’ she replied ominously.

“Quite an impressive cultivation you’ve got there,” Harl said to Yulin, who started to have a cold sweat down his back. Yulin sped up his pace again. Harl also sped up. At this point Yulin’s walking speed was that of a brisk jog. As soon as he exited the Arena Yulin burst into a run, dashing down the steps and into the streets. Harl effortlessly kept up with him, her face still perfectly cheery as if she was completely unaware of how unnaturally fast she was walking. Bystanders gaped in awe at the sight of the young boy earnestly running as fast as he could while the pretty woman next to him walked yet somehow moved at the exact same speed.

Meanwhile, I was extremely confused.

‘Why is he so afraid of you?’ I asked Harl. I had never seen Yulin being afraid of anything. For him to get so panicked, I completely didn’t understand.

‘He has keen instincts,’ my elder sister replied. ‘Also, he’s afraid of snakes.’ She gleefully cackled aloud, making Yulin flinch in fright.

‘Please stop teasing him…’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll stop in just a little bit. We’re almost there.’ Again, Harl’s ominous words sent a chill into my shell.

Driving himself through the twists and turns of the city’s alleys, Yulin slid into an empty patio in front of a shrine. The regal blue pagoda shrine, shiny and otherworldly, looked like the house of a god. Neat white stones paved the ground. Even though Lamane City was bustling with thousands of people, as soon as Yulin entered this area, a peaceful quiet fell. It was like we had been transported to another world.

The twisted expression on Yulin’s face made it clear that he had not intended to come here. Harl had shepherded him without his knowing. He tried to turn back and leave the shrine, but a powerful blue barrier blocked him.

“My, my. Looks like you couldn’t get away.” Framing her face with her hands, Harl mockingly gasped in horror. “Whatever shall you do? I’m sure you’ve noticed that I won’t just let you go…?”

Yulin fiercely glared at her. He took a few steps back to increase the distance between them. For him, who knew nothing about the woman in front of him, this was probably a dire situation where he had been trapped by an overwhelmingly strong, unknown opponent. I sadly drooped on his shoulder. Sorry Yulin…

Harl smiled. She tapped a finger against her chin. “But,” she said, dragging the word out, “If you can land a single hit on me, then maybe I’ll consider letting you free.”

Yulin narrowed his eyes in consideration.

“On the other hand,” Harl continued, a wide smirk growing on her face, “If you really can’t score a hit no matter how hard you try, then, I think I’ll be taking that snail of yours.”

…

You’re bringing me into it…?!